Chapter Five — Too Young
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Her eyes widened. “Oh God…” She covered her face. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.”
Ghost stood perfectly still.
The world around him seemed to disappear. “You’ve been drinking.”
“I know. I mean it.” She laughed weakly. “I really wasn’t meant to tell you.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Y/N…”
“I know it’s stupid.”
“It isn’t.”
Her head snapped up. For a fleeting second, hope flickered across her face. Ghost saw it and panicked.
He extinguished it immediately. “It’s infatuation.”
She frowned. “What?”
“You’re twenty-three, I’m in my late thirties. You’ve built an idea of me in your head.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You don’t know yourself yet.” The words came harsher than he intended. “This isn’t real.”
She stared at him. “It feels real to me.”
“It feels real because you’re young.”
She flinched.
“You’ll grow out of it.”
“So that’s what you think of me?”
“I think you’re confusing admiration with love.”
“I didn’t say I loved you.”
“No. You just said you had a crush.” His voice became colder. “And you’re a soldier. So act like one.”
She looked as though he’d slapped her. “I’ve spent months trying to prove myself to you.”
“This has nothing to do with proving yourself.”
“It has everything to do with it.” Her eyes glistened.“You make me feel seen one day…then stupid the next.”
He forced himself to keep his expression unreadable. “This conversation never happened.”
She nodded slowly. “…Right.”
Without another word, she walked back inside.
Ghost remained on the terrace. His hands trembled. He hated himself. But he hated the thought of ruining her life even more. So he convinced himself he’d done the right thing.
⸻
Inside Y/N ordered another drink. Then another.
Soap noticed.
“Y/N…”
She smiled through watery eyes. “I’m alright.”
“No, ye arenae.”
“I’m celebrating.”
“What now?”
She laughed. “My own humiliation.”
Soap exchanged a worried glance with Gaz.
⸻
“Y/N?”
She turned. Ethan stood beside her.
He smiled. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
She gave him a small smile. “Didn’t expect to see you either.”
He leaned against the bar. “You alright?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t look it.”
She laughed softly. “Apparently I’m not very good at hiding things.”
“I noticed.”
There was something reassuring about how uncomplicated Ethan was. No mixed signals. No cruelty followed by kindness. No wondering whether every word meant something else. He liked her. He’d made that very clear. Maybe that was what she needed. Someone who actually wanted her.
“You still owe me that drink,” Ethan said.
Y/N looked at him. “You never bought me one.”
“Exactly.” He smiled. “Let me correct that.”
Normally, she would’ve said no. Tonight… She shrugged. “Alright.”
Ethan’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He ordered her another drink. Y/N stared down at it. She knew exactly why she’d said yes. And it wasn’t because she suddenly had feelings for Ethan. It was because Ghost had made her feel like she wasn’t good enough to be wanted. And Ethan was standing there proving the opposite.
⸻
Across the room… Ghost noticed. His attention had been on Y/N the moment she’d walked into the pub. He’d tried not to watch her. He’d failed. Now he watched Ethan sit beside her. Watched her laugh. Watched Ethan lean closer so he could hear her over the music. Then he saw Y/N accept another drink from him.
Ghost’s jaw tightened.
Soap noticed. Of course he did. “You alright, mate?”
“Fine.”
Soap glanced towards Y/N. Then back at Ghost. “…Right.”
Ghost said nothing.
⸻
An hour passed. Y/N was drunk. Not falling-over drunk. Yet. But enough that her cheeks were flushed and her thoughts weren’t quite as careful as usual.
Ethan was still beside her.
“You know,” he said, “I was beginning to think you’d never give me a chance.”
Y/N smiled faintly. “I wasn’t exactly in the mood.”
“For me?”
“For anyone.”
He nodded. “Fair.”
She looked down at her glass. “Someone made me feel like I wasn’t worth choosing.”
Ethan’s expression softened. “Then they’re an idiot, you’re an absolute catch.”
Lucy laughed. “Maybe.”
“You deserve better than that.”
She looked at him. For a second, she wanted to believe it. “Maybe I do.”
⸻
Later, she slipped outside for some air. The cold hit her immediately. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes. The door opened behind her. She expected Ethan. It was Ghost. Of course it was. He stood several feet away, hands in his pockets. Neither spoke. Then Y/N laughed softly.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why are you laughing?”
“Because this is ridiculous.”
Ghost frowned. “What is?”
“You.”
She turned towards him. “You’re ignoring me for ten days, tell me you’d never be with someone like me…”
She gestured vaguely back towards the pub. “…and now you’re standing outside watching who I’m talking to.”
His expression hardened. “I wasn’t watching you.”
“Right.”
She smiled sadly. “You don’t have to pretend.”
Ghost’s jaw tightened. “I don’t care who you talk to.”
“Good.” She looked away. “Because Ethan’s nice.”
Ghost said nothing.
“I think I’m going to give him a chance.”
That finally got a reaction.
His eyes snapped towards her. “You’ve been drinking.”
“So?”
“So you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying.” She looked at him. “I like being around someone who actually likes me.”
Silence.
Ghost stared at her.
Then Y/Ns voice softened. “I told you how I felt.”
“I know.”
“You rejected me.”
“I know.”
“So what exactly do you want from me?”
Ghost didn’t answer.
She laughed bitterly.
“Nothing.”
She nodded to herself. “That’s what I thought.”
She turned to leave.
“Y/N.”
She stopped.
He almost said it. Don’t. Don’t go back inside with Ethan. Don’t let him touch you. Don’t give someone else what Ghost had spent months pretending he didn’t want. But he couldn’t say any of it.
“You’re too young.”
She turned around slowly.
“There’s an age difference between us.”
“I know.”
“You shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.”
Her expression fell. “I know.”
“This isn’t appropriate.”
“Okay.”
“You’ll grow out of this.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Maybe.” She gave him a small, broken smile. “Maybe I already am.”
Then she walked back inside.
Ghost remained outside alone.
⸻
Y/N found Ethan at the bar.
He smiled when he saw her. “You okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
He studied her face. “You sure?”
She hesitated. Then nodded again. “Yeah, all good.”
Ethan held out his hand. “Come on.”
She looked at it. Then took it. Not because she was in love with him. Not because she’d forgotten Ghost. But because she was tired of feeling unwanted. She let Ethan lead her back towards the table. And Ghost watched from the other side of the room. His expression remained unreadable. But beneath the mask… Something was breaking.
⸻
A few more drinks followed. Y/N stopped counting. The music became louder. The room blurred around the edges. She remembered laughing with Ethan. Remembered him putting an arm around her. Remembered telling him she was fine. She didn’t remember deciding to go outside. She didn’t remember stumbling. And she certainly didn’t remember how she’d ended up leaning heavily against Ethan.
“You’ve had enough,” he murmured.
Y/N blinked up at him. “I’ve got my friends…”
“I’ll take you to them.”
She frowned. “Ghost…”
Ethan’s expression changed slightly. “Ghost?”
She nodded sleepily. “I need…” Her words slurred. “…I need to find him.”
Ethan glanced towards the pub. “Come on.”
She tried to pull away. “I can walk.”
“You’re barely standing.”
“I said…” She stumbled.
Ethan caught her around the waist.
Y/N looked up at him, disoriented. “I don’t…” Her eyes struggled to focus. “I don’t want…”
The pub door suddenly opened. Ghost stepped outside. His eyes immediately found them. Ethan holding Y/N upright. She was barely conscious.
Ghost’s entire body went rigid. “Get your hands off her.”
Ethan looked over. “I was helping her.”
“I’ve got her.” Ethan hesitated.
Y/N weakly murmured, “Ghost…”
Ghost stepped forward. “She’s coming with me.”
Ethan released her. Ghost caught her before she could fall. Her head dropped against his chest. He looked down at her. For once, there was no anger.
Only fear.
“Y/N.”
No response.
Her eyes closed.
Ghost tightened his hold around her. “Stay with me.”
She was already unconscious. And as he carried her back towards the pub, one thought burned through his mind. He’d told her he didn’t want her. Now he had to live with the fact that she’d believed him.
⸻
Y/N woke to sunlight burning through the gap in her curtains. Her head throbbed. Her mouth was dry.
She groaned, burying her face back into the pillow
“Ugh never drinking again.”
The last thing she remembered was standing outside with Ghost. Confessing she’d had a crush on him. Heat flooded her face.
“Oh… God.”
She frowned, trying to force the memories back. Nothing came. After showering and forcing herself into fresh clothes, she reluctantly headed to the mess hall. The room buzzed with conversation.
Soap spotted her first. “There she is!”
He grinned. “Still alive?”
“Unfortunately.” She rolled her eyes playfully.
He laughed and slid a tray toward the empty seat beside him. “I saved ye breakfast.”
She smiled gratefully. “My hero.”
As she sat down, she became aware of someone opposite her. Ghost. He looked up for barely half a second. Their eyes met. His expression didn’t change. Without a word. He stood. Picked up his tray. And walked away. Y/N watched him leave. The smile she’d worn for Soap disappeared.
Soap sighed quietly. “Don’t.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Don’t start blaming yourself again.”
She looked down at her untouched breakfast. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“Aye.” He nudged her shoulder gently. “But I know ye.”
———
The rest of the day, Soap refused to let her disappear into the gym. They spent hours together instead. Competing on the assault course. Playing darts in the recreation room. Laughing over terrible coffee. At one point Soap wrapped an arm around her shoulders after she’d finally beaten his score on the shooting range.
“I’ve created a monster.”
Y/N laughed. “You were asking for it.”
He dramatically pretended to wipe away a tear “They grow up so fast.”
She shoved him away with a grin. “Oh, shut up dickhead.”
A few operators nearby smiled at the exchange. To anyone watching, they looked close. Comfortable. Like lifelong friends. Which they were quickly becoming. Ghost watched the whole thing from across the yard. Every laugh. Every playful shove.
Every time Soap ruffled her hair just to annoy her.
He told himself it didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Yet it did. More than he cared to admit.
Gaz wandered over, following Ghost’s line of sight “They’re good for each other.”
Ghost grunted. “They’re friends.”
“Yes.” Gaz glanced sideways. “You keep saying that like you’re trying to convince yourself.”
Ghost walked away without answering.
———
That evening, Y/N left the gym carrying a towel over one shoulder. The corridors were quiet. She turned the corner. Nearly walked straight into Ghost. He didn’t move. Neither did she. For a moment neither of them spoke.
Then Ghost’s eyes settled on the damp towel. “The gym again.”
She nodded. “Just finished.”
“Hm.”
She tried to step around him. He blocked her path. His voice was calm. Dangerously calm.
“You enjoy throwing yourself at men in bars?”
Y/N frowned. “What?”
“Ethan… ring any bells?.”
Confusion washed across her face. “And?”
“You were all over him Sergeant.”
She stared. “I don’t even remember leaving the table.”
Ghost gave a humourless laugh. “Convenient.”
Something inside her snapped. “You think I–?”
“I think you drink until you can’t stand.”
“I was upset.”
“So your solution was to blackout?”
“I didn’t plan to!”
“No?” His tone sharpened. “It looked deliberate enough.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Ethan’s different he’s….”
“What?”
“He’s nice.”
Ghost folded his arms. “You looked desperate.”
Her expression fell. “You really think that little of me?”
He didn’t answer. She took that as a yes. A painful silence stretched between them.
Finally, Y/N spoke. “Is this because of what I said, you’re trying to punish me again?”
Ghost’s jaw tightened. “What you said was a mistake.”
She swallowed. “I knew you’d say that.”
“It can’t happen again.”
“I know.”
“No.” His voice dropped lower. “I’m serious. You need to stop this.”
“This?”
He looked directly at her. “Whatever it is you think is between us.”
She laughed once. A hollow sound. “There isn’t anything between us.”
“Good.” The word came too quickly. Too sharply.
She nodded slowly. “Right thanks for the pep talk Ghost.” She spat with venom
Ghost should have walked away. Instead, the jealousy he’d spent all day trying to bury clawed its way to the surface. “I would never be with someone like you.”
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