#talking down

Teaser for the homestuck animatic. It will not be a full one since I also want to post it on tik tok. :3

When I make some suggestions or something in game with my high ranked friends, one of them would remark, “I never follow words of a silver player.” Dude. That hurt. I’m trying to climb out, but I have that sad gut wrenching feeling that I can’t make it out because of it. This took a bad turn in my life that I overworked myself out. My wrist hurts. My sleep schedule was wack. I got so angry that I think the combo of undersleeping and anger just aches my head. I want to confront my friend later about this, because I can’t take that remark any more. I am trying hard just because of his remark. Take note, High Elo players. Words like this can break the will of players in an instant. If you don’t want them to be silver, then at least train them or tutor them.

I always have done

But try not to talk down to others,

That was a lesson from my mother,

That was a lesson spanning my childhood.

So where was his?

Why didn’t you teach him to at least talk as though equals,

To at the very least not imply idiocy,

When trying to make conversation?

Then again why do i now hide here?

Because if I engage you disengage,

If I talk with him you focus on everything else,

As though I’m a babysitter or nanny for him,

As though it’s my job to be one of the kids.

If he talks down to me I can take myself away.

I can avoid all communication and try to.

Yet now I’m faced with Thursday.

With going around your home for his birthday,

No chance to step away from the precocious brat,

Or get away from people who only want to hear themselves.

And Mum expects me to go.

To stop being spoken down to I threatened to scream,

Since walking away had me chased, 

And glaring was only noticed by one,

Understood by none.

Why would I want to go to the home of that?

Why shouldn’t I keep away from it all

When it means missing something I love?

Kids can share interests without talking down,

It’s as easy as understanding tone of voice,

So how did you miss that at all?

I’d question your parenting as that seems it’s beginning,

But I know his father did the same,

Remember it from being a child myself,

Spoken down to because I liked colour of all things

While he saw in shades of grey.

Sometimes knowing people is poison,

Sometimes that’s even when there generally supportive and nice,

Sometimes biting my tongue is all that saves you.

Sometimes I would have been better to walk away the minute that started

I feel good rn, im helping my aunt get rid of some of her furniture and like i wasnt doing anything yet so she said "now we just stand here and look pretty" and i retort with "or awkward" "dont talk down to yourself!" and she swats my arm.

There was time period where i didnt talk to some of my family, my aunt included (my dad was going thro some things) and i had forgotten how awesome she was and what type of confidence she is. Theres body confident (they walk wearing what they want), angry confident (u mess with them they will kill you), and help confidence (the one were they make u feel confident just by being confident, thats my aunt, she didnt tell me i 'should be doing' she just told not be talking down to myself, much less in front of her cus im better than i think.

Its out of habit that i talk down to myself, hell almost everyone i know talks down to me, they arent wrong and i dont think they notice they do, and i was surprised to be told 'dont talk down to yourself' cus no one does this. My friends (the few i have) do try to cheer me up but like not with truths, they just say "you're great" and but they dont tell me how or why they think that.