Mercury in 8H Synastry 🧿
As per my usual posting, I will break this down via both perspectives, but before I do that I want to emphasize that these things that I mention can be flipped around between you and the other person.
When mercury meets the 8th house in synastry, I think the first word I would describe this dynamic with would be… penetrating. Followed by psychologically warping, and intellectually enthralling. This is because when Mercury, the planet of communication, intellect, the mind, and the way we communicate meets the 8th house, which is a very dark house in nature, you find yourself connecting with the person you share this synastry with on a deeper, unspoken level.
For the planet person
As the planet person. you might feel like the house person pulls your inner thoughts out of you without them even trying. I feel like there’s something super empathic and psychic about this synastry because it could feel like the house person is reading your thoughts sometimes. Or they can predict or determine your next moves somehow. In my opinion, this is because the 8th house is naturally very exposing so when Mercury is placed here, you might feel like they make you say things you didn’t plan to say out loud, or share secrets about yourself that you never planned to tell anyone. In a lot of ways, this is very enticing for you as the planet person because it will feel like the house person has broken the “lock” you had around the vault of information about you. It’s not just that you feel comfortable sharing intimate details with this person — you can have that with literally anyone — this is different. The house person does not only make you comfortable to share your dark past or traumas or secrets — they also naturally help you process these things so that you can alchemize that pain and turn it into something beautiful, or better. Be wary, though, because as the planet person, you can become obsessed with understanding the house person’s psyche and motivations.
You will feel compelled to analyze the house person’s words, tone, pauses, inflections, etc., just to fully grasp what is going on between you two. This is why I feel that mercury in the 8th house synastry suggests high mental stimulation, almost as much as physical attraction. But with this mental stimulation comes a lot of exposure. You just, trust this person, and you can’t really put into words why. Even if you do not necessarily trust them as a person, you deeply trust them when it comes to you, and in ways, you “lock in” because of this. You can become very like, loyal to this person and sometimes it can be blind loyalty.
The emotional depth of this connection really comes through via conversation and deep intimacy. It can feel very vulnerable when speaking to this person, because maybe their words carry mire weight than usual, but you just feel safe enough to let go and open up to them. Often, you can feel like you’ve “said too much” but can’t stop talking — that’s the feeling here. Conversations can also feel very fated and this person could help you put the pieces of a mental puzzle together with you, especially if you need someone to help you see all perspectives.
There’s mutual love and spiritual growth in this connection. You are helping the house person process trauma or their shadow aspects in your own way, and generally speaking, communication can feel transformational. It could also feel like this person is just like in your mind, and can even know what you think and feel. To me it feels like a weird invasion of privacy that you willingly co-sign. In ways, this could make you feel like you are some how linked, or tethered to the house person and this manifests in different ways, like wanting to always text them, check on them, or think about them very intensely out of nowhere.
Some shadowy aspects…
Because this is the 8th house, some sort of power dynamic is at play and it could be you that feels like the house person has some sort of emotional or psychological power over you. Sometimes you might try to regain control by withholding information, or overexplaining things, intellectualizing your emotions, hell even stone walling them. Be wary though, that if you are more of a confrontational person, your words could be very sharp, hurtful, and sometimes you can’t take them back. Words have consequences in this synastry. You could experience intrusive thoughts about them, or feel very misunderstood because of how they handle your secrets. You might be way too hyper critical of yourself while knowing this person, fearing you said too much. I’ve also noticed that your thoughts and inner world might just be a bit darker after meeting them. Be ware of feeling mentally drained —this synastry is not for everyone, and it is highly romanticized. The 8th house’s shadow axis is the 2nd house, so you could very well experience abusive situations with this person. Verbal abuse, mental/emotional abuse, or spiritual abuse is a possibility.
For the house person
The best way that I like to describe the 8th house person in this situation is somebody who is just completely unaware of themself. I'm not calling you naive but I have noticed a pattern with the house person and that is that they don't realize their own depth. The thing is, the house person is very good at hiding things. It's comfortable in this energy, that way everybody else in the outside world can't see what they are hiding. However when they meet the planet person, it almost feels like the planet person aggressively ends those barriers.
When you get around the planet person, it can sort of feel like you take on their energy. You become a sponge and absorb anything and everything that's on their mind, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. it can be very dismantling because you can be totally fine prior to meeting them, or meeting up with them, but when you’re away from them, you can feel a heavy negative energy lingering. In my opinion, this is why the house person can feel this dynamic on a deeper level because they truly feel changed when dealing with the planet person. This could lead to a certain level of resentment in the long run, but I will discuss this later on in the post.
The planet person will definitely activate something deep in you that will make you think a bit harder about the things you hide — your hidden thoughts, feelings, memories, secrets, etc. When you meet the planet person, you might not be as ready as they are to just unload on them (or trauma dump), but you definitely start to realize that there are things within you that you are trying to hide and run away from. Your processing becomes very internalized. This could either be because the planet person inspires you to revisit these things to heal them, OR, because they make you feel very uncomfortable by how invasive they could be, or how judgmental they can be. The 8th house acts like a mirror so when two people come together with this synastry, the both of them subconsciously mirror each other’s dark attributes. The idea here is to face, heal, and transform these things together, but sometimes this is rather scary especially for the house person. If the planet person’s pushiness to get to know you is too much, you can definitely feel like this energy is overwhelming and not welcoming at all.
when things are good…
This is a highly expressive and communicative couple or dynamic. They both might seriously feel like they hit the jackpot because both people are very deep and intense and are lucky to have each other. Both people can SAFELY express themselves with one another, and confide in each other about the things that they can to others about. They feel emotionally, spiritually and sexually understood by one another, and can cater to each other’s needs without having to say a word to one another. The sex could feel electric, or more like an emotional experience due to how highly psychically connected the two of them are. They are loyal to one another, they fight for one another, they put each other first. They can recognize when there’s good days, bad days, and everything in between. They invest in businesses together or support each other’s dreams, and they love to gift each other things as their love language. It’s a mentally sound connection with a healthy level of excitement and obsession.
moving into the toxic side of things…
Negative obsession is a thing here. Obsession comes more in the form of the both of you being obsessed with each other's thoughts or how you perceive each other, what you think about each other, what you assume about each other, etc. There's a lot of mental, emotional and spiritual obsession here. These are the kinds of people that get tarot readings on each other even if they're in no contact with one another. I feel another thing that's really toxic about this synastry is how heavily you can project onto one another. This happens because you guys can assume so much about each other without actually trying to find proof or get confirmation. Mental games are major here, and things can get very toxic especially if there are strong power dynamics at play. Unfortunately, I feel like the person who feels over powered could also end up feeling manipulated into going along with what the other person wants. Verbal abuse is also unfortunately something I see happening here, or just general nasty verbal communication. This leads me to the next thing that I see: control over the other person. It does not matter who is who in this synastry, this is unfortunately a possibility. Resentment is a possibility too, especially if it feels like one person is giving more mental and emotional energy than the other person.
