#supportive team

Y'know I've thought about this a lot :0

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The thing about being thrown into space on a giant metal blue lion in the middle of a galactic war you had no idea was happening; everyone you know has faced a near-death experience. The team quickly became numb to certain things that would take months to years to process and overcome on earth. 

Every day they were fighting for their lives and the lives of each other; chugging along to make it through each day. 

Lance was aware of this. He knew they had to block certain things from their mind in order to keep pushing through; which is why he hated how much he relived the explosion. 

He didn’t relive it physically over and over again, but his mind made him feel like he was physically reliving it. He kept this issue hidden away. Didn’t tell the team the countless nights he woke up to ringing in his ears, his skin sticky with sweat, a scream dying in his throat. 

He didn’t tell the team the reason the bags under his eyes were beginning to match Shiro's was because every time he closed his eyes the sound echoed in his mind. The burning sensation consumed him and he swore he could still feel the flames lick at him. 

Lance felt as if he was constantly on edge. Parties were no longer entertaining for him. He dreaded every new person that entered the castle, no matter the smile they wore on their face. 

He hated how he saw everyone as a threat, constantly checking behind him to make sure nothing was trying to sneak up behind him. He no longer spent time in the observation deck, wishing that he was home. 

The only comfort he found was inside of Blue or wrapped up in his bed. 

“I tell you what, you paladins of Voltron are just what we need to win this war,” the king of the planet they had just freed slapped his hand (it was more of a penguin fin) on Lance’s back. 

Lance felt his entire body go stiff, his breath getting caught in his throat. The sounds around him began to swim in his mind, nothing was clear anymore. His mouth suddenly went dry, his eyes frantically scanning the area around him and someone laughed in the space around him. 

The pressure was removed off his back and he quickly took a step away, trying not to make his motions seem wobbly. 

“We are just happy to help. I hope we can count on you for our attack against the Galran empire.” Allura's voice slowly rang clear in his mind and he slowly regained the ability to fill his lungs. 

He bolted back to his lion as soon as he was given the cue, letting himself shake in his chair for a moment. Trying to shake the image that was stuck in his mind. You’re okay. We’re okay. The team is safe. I’m safe. You’re okay. We’re- He let his mind repeat these words; trying to convince his mind it was the truth. 

Lance passed that moment off as a one-time deal. Rationalizing that it was a stranger that touched him and if it was someone on the team he would have been okay. 

He told himself that, believing it was the truth until it was proven wrong. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say you did good today Lance,” Shiro walked beside him, placing his human hand on his upper back in a proud older brother moment. 

Lance stumbled forward, twisting himself around to face Shiro. “Thanks,” he quickly turn back down the hallway, heading straight for his room. As soon as the door closed behind him he allowed himself to break. 

He allowed the small sobs to escape his lips, the tears to streak his face, his body to curl into itself where he sat against his door. The heat from the explosion felt lively on his skin. He rationally knew Shiro didn’t burn him with anything but where his hand was placed felt like it was on fire. 

He could feel himself rocking where he sat, trying to tell himself he was okay, he was safe. But this time, his brain didn’t believe him. 

Lance was aware he needed help. He knew he should confine in someone, maybe Coran? But every time he scrounged up the courage to spill his guts to someone the alarms would blare and he would be rushing down to his lion. 

He felt like a walking corpse. The lack of sleep at night was starting to catch up to him. Causing little mistakes throughout his day. He slid into Hunk at training, nearly knocked Pidge’s computer over, he bumped directly into Shiro while they passed each other in the hall. 

He was slipping, he felt like a glass object teetering over the edge of a table. One wrong move and he would be shattered beyond repair. 

He did everything he could to keep himself from falling. He started to live by certain rules. 

1) No one, absolutely no one was allowed to touch his back in any capacity. No more hugs from Hunk, no more pats on the back, no contact at all. 

2) Always watch your back. Don’t let anyone or anything sneak up on you or a team member. 

3) Never let anyone behind you. Stand against the wall. Always bring up the end of the line. 

4) Be aware of your surroundings.

He memorized these rules, repeating them under his breath in the shower, while he was getting dressed, as he was crawling into bed. They were security in a sense. As long as he followed them, nothing bad would happen to him. 

He leaned against one of the walls in the training room, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. His teammate did similar things. Pidge laying in the center of the room, Keith chugging a bottle of water, Hunk slumped down by the door, Shiro wiping the sweat off his forehead with a towel.

To say Lance was exhausted was an understatement. He couldn't even remember the last time he properly slept.

Which is was caused him to forget rule #4.

"I think we're getting better at working together." Keith leaned against the wall by Lance, his eyes gazing over the training area.

Lance told himself to breathe, giving a small nod at the other boy.

Keith looked at him, "I'm really happy we put that rivalry behind us." Keith placed his hand on Lance's upper right back shoulder blade.

It was a friendly gesture, Lance knew that. There was no anger or hatred behind the action. Keith was simply being friendly. Being a good teammate.

Unfortunately, Lance's brain wasn't wired to see the situation like that anymore.

His body reacted before his rational mind could catch up. His left hand reached across his chest, grabbing Keith's wrist from where his hand was placed on his body. He yanked on it as soon as he had a strong enough grip and Keith went tumbling forward; slightly rolling over Lance's shoulder.

By the time Lance realized his fellow red paladin was on the ground the team was already making their way toward the two at their own paces.

He backed himself against the wall, his brain running a mile a minute. His breathing was labored and his vision began to swim; he was in pure panic mode.

Keith was being helped up by Shiro who was looking at Lance with confusion but preparedness; Lance didn't doubt that he would tackle him if he tried to attack another team member.

"Lance, just take it easy." Hunk held his hands out in front of him, almost as if he was trying to calm a wild animal. Maybe that's what Lance looked like right now.

Others were talking, their voices melted together and Lance placed his hands over his ears, begging the sounds to stop. He could feel his head shaking as he tried to block the noise.

He looked at his team, and they all looked back with wide eyes. "I'm sorry," he looked towards the closet exit to him, "I need...I have to go." He wasn't sure how he managed to run out of the room without someone grabbing him but he thanked the universe for being able to escape.

He began snapping his armor off in the process, leaving it scattered in his room before stumbling into his bathroom. He borderline ripped his undershirt off his body, trying to stop the burn that was steadily consuming his skin.

He fumbled with the water in the shower, stepping into the freezing temperature, trying to ease the pain.

He could hear pounding on his door and his fingers tangled in his hair. You're okay, you're okay. Just breath. You're okay-

He wasn't sure how long he sat in the freezing water, he wasn't sure when the pounding stopped. When the burning feeling stopped and his body went numb he reached up and turned off the water; he wasn't sure when he slumped to the ground.

He sat in the shower a while longer, letting his body shake from the temperature. He knew he needed to warm up, he needed to pull his pants off his body and changed into something dry. Why was moving so hard right now?

Maybe he dozed off, he had to of since he jolted awake to his bedroom door opening. He glanced at his bathroom door, it was locked, but it wasn't hard to overrule the system.

"Go away, I don't want to talk yet." He hated how his voice wavered on his words, he was tired. So so tired.

"Lance? We don't have to talk, but may I come in?"

Lance closed his eyes, Coran always had a sense of comfort surrounding him. Lance always saw him as an uncle figure.

"Yeah."

The door slid open a couple of moments later, Coran giving him a sad smile. "Did you take a shower?"

Lance hugged his knees, still shivering, "something like that."

Coran nodded and left the room, returning quickly with his pajamas and a towel. "Get changed, I'll go get you some Pressed Cider!" He placed the clothing on the counter by the sink and disappeared.

Lance allowed his body to fall into autopilot and he quickly got changed, leaving his wet clothes in the bottom of the shower and he sat on his bed. His breathing still felt labored in a way, but his bed was safe. Nothing could hurt him here.

Coran reappeared later, two mugs in his hands and a blanket folded up under his arm. He handed the blue mug to his paladin and placed his black mug on the bedside dresser.

He unfolded the blanket and slowly wrapped his around Lance, taking a seat a couple of inches away from him.

"The team said you had a moment."

Lance took a small sip of his drink, focusing on the spice taste that covered his tongue. The temperature was slightly on the hot side, a great improvement from Coran's initial attempts of sharing this drink. Alteans used to put fire rocks in their drinks.

"Keith is okay if you were concerned about him."

Lance nodded.

"But it's nice to know your training is paying off number 3."

Lance gave him an obligatory smile and cast his eyes down at his cup.

"I'm all ears if you need to get something off your chest my boy."

Lance stared down into the dark orange liquid, Coran was with him that day. Maybe he had his own suffering from it. "Does that day ever bother you? The explosion on Arus."

Coran was quiet for a moment, something out of his character, but he eventually released a small sigh. "Yes...sometimes I feel as though I can't shake it. Does it haunt you?"

Lance gave a small nod, taking another sip of his drink. "I relive it every day. I know I'm okay but I sometimes feel like my skin is still being burned."

"Shiro said Keith touched your shoulder and that's when you...had your moment."

Lance appreciated his attempt to lessen the realistic damaged he actually caused to his team. "I didn't mean to."

"I didn't think you did. You're not someone who would attack your team member unless absolutely necessary."

"I don't like people touching my back. I have a list of rules." Coran gave him a questioning look and Lance quickly repeated his rules. "It's the only way I could keep myself going."

"Why didn't you tell one of us?" Coran didn't sound disappointed, but his voice was laced with sadness.

"I didn't want to burden anyone. You lost your family, your whole planet. Shiro was a prisoner for a year, Keith lost his parents, Pidge lost her family...I just had one thing happen to me."

"Lance," Coran placed a comforting hand on his knee, "don't let your mind convince you just because someone has it worst you can't struggle. That was a traumatizing day, sometimes when you run late for breakfast or back to the castle I worry you're gone. I feel as though the team feels the same."

Lance blinked away the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"The team isn't mad at you."

"Keith should be."

Coran shook his head, "he's not. They're just concerned."

"Oh."

"Tell you what. Let's finish our drinks and then we can talk to the team together. See what we can do to support you through this."

Lance dropped his head, "okay."

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Hmmmm love me some angst and a supportive team

Thank you!

***

For some reason, it felt strange to walk back into the bullpen, even though he’d only been out a few weeks. It felt much longer, and almost like he didn’t belong. He hesitated momentarily when he realized that everyone, minus Kilbride was present.

“Deeks, aren’t you supposed to be home basking in the sun?” Callen asked when he saw them. He stood up long enough to smack Deeks on the back, more gently than usual, he noticed. He forced a smile past his bitterness.

“Tried that and got burnt,” Deeks joked. “Figured I’d try something a little less dangerous.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not here to do anything too strenuous,” Kensi interjected.

“Good,” Sam added, joining the group in the bullpen. “Cause I don’t want to see your butt out of that chair all day.”

“Yes, Sir,” Deeks said wryly. Kensi flashed him a “behave” look, squeezing his shoulder while Fatima stepped forward.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re back, Deeks. I’m trying to track down a guy with brown hair, a beetle tattoo on his hand, and an earring. Do you want to help me?”

***

“Nope, too old. Too young. Woman. Too blonde,” Fatima rattled off, sighing as they flipped through a series of series of pictures captured off of various surveillance cameras. “Ooh, he’s cute. But no spider tattoo.”

It was kind of tedious, but better than languishing at home. Or worse, being saddled with the good old cold case review.

“Hm, what about that guy? To the left, head down, gray jacket,” Deeks said, gesturing to the screen.

“Ooh, nice,” Fatima muttered. “Let me enlarge it. And that is definitely a spider tattoo. Alright, let’s see if we can get him at another angle and see his face.”

Five minutes later she announced,

“His name is Matt Bomer, no relation, and he lives in Reseda. Thanks, Deeks.”

“Great, let’s pick him up,” Deeks said, starting to get out of his chair.

“Nice try, but you know Kensi, Sam, and Callen would all kill me if I let you leave. I’ll have Tree go to his apartment.”

Deeks tilted his chin back, pursing his lips as he nodded. “Right. I forgot I’m on house arrest.” He hadn’t really expected for Fatima to actually fall for it, but it would have been nice.

“I’m really sorry, Deeks. Nothing would make me happier than if you could come with,” she apologized, true regret in her eyes.

“It’s ok, I was only joking. I’ll be fine here.”

“Ok. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

***

Deeks fully intended to behave himself. He left OPS after a few minutes, planning to log into his laptop only to find that someone had revoked his access. That was the final straw and he was filled with the kind of anger he hadn’t felt in years. He was shaking with it.

He grabbed a change of workout gear he’d never cleaned out of his locker, and headed for the gym.

His anger fueled him though a mile jog and a few sets of pushups before his energy started to flag. He pushed on, powering through some pull-ups.

“Hey man, aren’t you supposed to be taking it kind of easy?” Rountree asked. Opening his eyes, Deeks saw he was leaning against the wall as Deeks struggled through another set of pull-ups. His shoulders burned and he felt just a touch nauseous, but he battled through.

“I get sick of not doing anything every day,” Deeks responded, inhaling and exhaling twice before he pulled himself up again. “Besides, maybe I’ll finally get some rest tonight.”

“Didn’t you say you were tired all the time?”

“Heh, funny thing about this whole kidney failure thing; you can be completely exhausted but barely sleep. Lots of time to think over your life and all that while you slowly go insane from insomnia.”

Rountree just stared at him for several long seconds, seeming kind of shocked. “Wow, that sucks,” he finally settled on. Deeks couldn’t help it, he laughed, breath escaping in uneven gasps.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Releasing the bar, Deeks landed on his feet with surprising lightness for how much his body ached.

“I thought you were supposed to be picking up our spider loving suspect,” Deeks prompted, settling a hand on one hip as he sucked in deep breaths. Rountree was kind enough not to mention it.

“Yeah, I’m waiting on Fatima. Callen wants us to go together since this guy has a history of violence.” He lightly clapped his hands together, a touch of awkwardness in the press of his lips. “So, I guess I’ll just hang out here til then.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Deeks informed him flatly.

“I know. Look, I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through. For all I tease you about being old, you’re still young, end you were healthy up to this point. It’s not fair and…I would be frustrated and angry too. But pushing yourself like this isn’t going to help.”

“Glad to know that you don’t actually think I’m decrepit. Be honest with me though, Devin. Would you be able to just sit back and put up with all the restrictions?”

Rountree hesitated. It was just a second or two, but it was enough, and Deeks nodded.

“And there it is,” he said with grim satisfaction.

“Deeks, that’s not what I—”

“Agent Rountree, I believe you have a suspect to retrieve.”

They both turned towards the authoritative voice, not having noticed Admiral Kilbride enter the gym in the midst of their discussion.

“Sir, I was just—”

“I know what you were doing, but I’ll deal with this situation,” Kilbride interrupted. “Agent Namazi is waiting for you. Thank you, Rountree.”

“Right,” Rountree said, eyes flicking to Deeks briefly. He looked dismayed, which Deeks really hadn’t intended. Rountree was just trying to look out for him. Even if it was freaking annoying. As Devin passed by on his way out, Deeks patted his shoulder, and said in an undertone,

“I appreciate the concern.”

Rountree offered a half-smile that was more grimace than anything, and made a hasty escape. Which left Deeks all alone with Kilbride.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

Hands clasped behind his back, Kilbride paced closer, silently observing the recently used equipment and then Deeks sweat-stained body.

“I see you’ve been making good use of your time,” he observed mildly.

“Just trying to keep busy,” Deeks responded just as lightly. “It’s a little hard to do anything else since I’m apparently blocked from all the NCIS computers and databases.” He cleared his throat pointedly, moving to clean off the weights and other equipment he’d used.

“Clearly that was a mistake by an overzealous IT. I’ll have it fixed by the end of the day.”

“I appreciate that, Sir.” Their relationship still might be on the very rock side most days, but Deeks had come to respect Kilbride for his integrity, if not his tendency to catch Deeks at his worst.

Kilbride pursed his lips, gesturing with his chin towards the bench press.

“Have a seat, Deeks.” Before Deeks could protest, he held his hand up. “That’s not a suggestion. To put it kindly, you resemble my Aunt Margaret post heart attack.”

“You always do have a way with words,” Deeks commented wryly, taking a seat because he was tired and didn’t have the energy to be overly stubborn for no reason.

“Something we have in common,” Kilbride said unexpectedly. He rocked back on his heels for a few seconds, observing Deeks again. “So far, I’ve tried to keep my distance with regard to your current situation. You have your family, and your friends to support you.”

Deeks didn’t say anything, not entirely sure where this was going. It was

true that Kilbride had largely been hands off, other than approving medical leave.

“However, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Agent Rountree.”

“Sir, if you’re—”

“I’m not finished yet,” Kilbride said. “I’ve also heard through the grapevine, something that is entirely impossible to avoid in this office, about your team’s concerns. They seem to think you’re pushing yourself too hard, and not taking full advantage of the medical assistance at your disposal. “ He stopped then, eyeing Deeks expectantly.

“That’s not fully accurate. I just don’t want anyone turning their life anymore upside down than it already is on the small chance that it helps me,” Deeks explained doggedly. He’d gone over this so many times he was exhausted by the topic.

“I think they’d like to make that decision for themselves, Deeks.” Moving closer, Kilbride sat on one of the machines across from Deeks. He folded his hands between his legs, and offered his version of a smile. “In case you haven’t noticed it, this team would move hell and high water to help you.”

“I know.” He was humbled, and overwhelmed by that support. “But there, uh, a lot more to worry about than just my health,” Deeks murmured, looking slightly beyond Kilbride. All the other parts of his life were slowly falling apart along with his health.

Kilbride nodded with understanding in his eyes.

“What you need to worry about right now is getting better, Son,” Kilbride said, with more compassion than Deeks had ever heard from him. “When you get to the other side of this, rest assured that there will be a position for you on this team. It may not be quite the same, but you will be here. Because this team needs you.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Deeks swallowed heavily, not prepared for anything like that out of Kilbride. He’d expected a gruff speech about pulling up his bootstraps. Not compassion.

New Fic: Just Keep Going

Summary: Voltron had to prove themselves worthy of an alliance, the Xhovion king had sneered, and the sacred trek to their temple was the only way. And the path to the temple? Eight miles of desert with three suns beating down, no water allowed, and they were required to wear the culture’s garb, which revealed so much skin it was hard to believe it was even considered clothing.

Lance knows he’s not only the best choice, he’s Voltron’s only choice given the requirements of the challenge. He just has to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, mile after mile as the suns scorch his skin, as his vision goes dark, as his breath hitches in his chest and as world begins to tilt. Just…  keep…going...

Story snippet:

Lance took a breath, willing his hands to stop shaking at his sides.

He could do this.

He strode out of the tent with what felt like a small guard at his back, wincing at the bright suns and the even hotter temperatures, step faltering.

He was really going to go run (and walk) eight miles in this?

Yes, his eyes narrowed as he spotted the king, sitting beneath a canopy and being fanned by attendants and opulence and wealth on full display when so many had so little, he was.

“Paladin Lance,” the king croaked from his chair, “you have accepted the sacred trek?”

“Yes,” Lance kept his voice even.

He said nothing more.

He wasn’t going to waste words here and dry out his throat.

“Very well,” the king inclined his head. “If you are able to successfully complete the trek to our temple we will extend our hand to an alliance with Voltron. But remember the rules, Paladin. No assistance will be allowed, no water will be allowed, and if you do not reach the temple before sundown you will be considered to have failed.”

“I understand,” Lance said.

“Delegate Boszi will act as your guide,” the king gestured at the Xhvion to the right of the canopy, who was standing on what honestly looked like some type of scooter but Lance had a feeling it was a bit more complicated than that, “and will both make sure you remain on the sacred path and do not attempt to cheat. You may begin at any time and Delegate Boszi will keep pace with you but he will also not assist you in any way. If you are successful then we will see you at the temple before sundown. And if we do not… the alliance is off and you,” his lips curled up, “are likely dead.”

Lance felt a shiver down his spine despite the temperature.

There’d be someone right there, with a mode of transportation, who could get him help if he collapsed and…

And he wouldn’t.

They’d literally leave him to die and no one would know until he didn’t show at the temple and by then it would be too late.

It was beyond cold and cruel and yet… so was this entire challenge.

But Lance would beat it still.

“Then I’ll be seeing you at the temple,” Lance said, trying for his best smirk.

“Then let us begin,” the king matched it. “At your leisure, Paladin Lance.”

READ THE STORY HERE!

KageHina Headcanon that the team doesn’t know they’re already dating and tries to ‘set them up’ ( Suga giving the rest of them the LOOK so that Kageyama and Hinata will be left alone, Yachi dropping hints of confessing, Tsukki teasing them to “just get married already”, talks of how they’re okay with gay people and that nothing changes anyway etc.)

And then one day when Hinata was feeling bad or sick, Kageyama just leans and asks if he’s okay. Hinata just nods absentmindedly and Kageyama ‘tsk’s before he leans down an kisses his temple. The team is SHOCKED.

And then they started asking questions like “wait since when were you dating?!” “You were dating?!” “How come you didn’t tell us you are dating?!”

The kitchen never smelled better, except for the times Hunk got his hands on ingredients that are similar to those from Earth. Soft butter cookies were getting their golden colour in the oven. On one of the planets they last visited, Lance found a collector of weird things from around the universe. From the small humanoid with feathers, he found real flour, something that tasted dangerously like brown sugar - Svoirsch, as he learned the alien was called, assured that it was edible - and a chicken. The bird was, unfortunately, not for sale. He managed to exchange a sum of groggeries for a couple of fresh eggs. Butter came from Kaltenecker. Lance thought she might have enjoyed the company of another farm animal.

The cookie dough was no problem at all. He got the recipe from Hunk in their garrison days. The frosting? That's where things became interesting. The thing that tasted like brown sugar decided to change it's aggregate state every now and then if it was left out of the fridge. Now it was hovering in a closed jar as a sea-green fog.

"C is for cookie. That's good enough for me," he sang, searching the cabinets for something to use as a dye. There was a box of juneberry tea. He could work with that.

"Oh, cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C! C is for-" a clang interrupted the song. Lance glared at the jar of, of, well of whatever that was. The sweetener was in a crystallized lump. If he planned to work with that, it has to be cold. After closing the fridge door slightly louder than necessary, he sang again. The first word came angrier as if to show the sweet mass he doesn't like being interrupted.

"-cookie! That's good enough for me. C is for cookie. That's good enough for me. Oh! Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C!"

The oven deemed the cookies done, and announced their entrance with a few beeps. It's see-through door opened and the room filled with steam and the wonderful smell of baked goods.

"Ok, who's using the kitchen?" Lance could hear the yellow paladin before he could see him. He waited until his friend showed himself at the door.

"Mahna mahnam!" He set the tray down and took the mittens off.

"You are beautiful and you bake? The ladies should be falling at your feet, Lance." To add to the effect, Hunk swooned. The hand that reached for one of the cookies was slapped away.

"Don't touch my cookies!" Lance tried his best to impersonate Pidge who was always sensitive about her equipment. "Not until they're cooled of and decorated." Another stern look and Hunk was on his way back to wherever he was before.

The sweet thingy was back to its sandy texture, and ready to be mixed into the frosting. As he mixed the colours, Lance thought about what Hunk said. Ladies, huh? If only it was that simple.

He gave the cookies one hour to cool. He knew otherwise Hunk would get inpatient and storm in again. The frosting has set nicely so they were more or less ready. Lance, on the other hand, was slowly doubting his culinary skills, and his legs that should carry him to the bridge (where he hoped to find the team). This foul feeling of fear was forgotten with Muppet songs before. Now, not a single one came to mind. What will be, will be. Que sera, sera. A plate of cookies in hand and he was off.

Lance was not disappointed when the bridge door opened for him. Pidge was sitting on Hunks shoulders, twisting wires at odd angles on Coran's command. Allura was discussing some plans with Keith and Shiro. Lance seemed much less productive and it hurt to believe others might think so as well. He would have turned and run, but damn Hunk and his nose for food.

"Cookies!" he exclaimed and set Pidge down as fast and gentle as possible. The other paladins and Coran all turned in Lance's direction, too. As if going through a wormhole, they were next to him before he could blink. Sticky fingers, crumbs everywhere, happy faces. Even Coran and Allura approved.

"Wait, Lance, is this a bisexual pride flag?" Asked Pidge after inspecting one of the cookies. 'No' he wished to say, 'it looks pretty, though'. But then everything would be pointless.

"Yes. That's what I wanted to talk to you guys about." Without leaving any time for further comments or tears, Hunk hugged him. It was warm, comforting. Pidge and Shiro joined in and made it a squishy group hug. Something between a giggle and a sob left the red paladin's lips. Keith waited until their eyes met.

"Don't tell me this is what you were worried about." He then fought his way in between the other humans to embrace Lance directly. "Dumbass."

"I'm so happy you finally decided to leave the closet," Hunk said. He, as well as Lance, started crying happy tears.

"I'm so proud of you, Lance." The space dad role fit Shiro perfectly.

This was more than Lance hoped for. Understanding, acceptance, love. And he was happy.

Here. Take this. Sorry baby blue, u r always my bend character. Sowwy? 

Anyways; langst. Pretty pointless, but eeeeeeeeeh. Might do a fluffy part 2 later! Excuse the draftiness. 

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me. 

Lance chokes up a sob as he leans back against the wall and drops is entire weight on it.

He bumps the back of his head and bites his lower lip to maintain the tears at bay but soon enough he feels them running down his cheeks.

He tries to push away the echoing voices of the villagers from the planet they just saved. He tries to block the remains of the battlefield but the screaming is still inside his head, followed by the desperation, the loss, the hopelessness, the crying.

God, he remembers the crying; the agonized shouts of raw pain and loss as families watched their love ones die right in front of them, as everything they held dear vanished in less than a second, leaving them surrounded by only ash of what it used to be a peaceful life.

He remembers their crestfallen expression and the dull light in their eyes as the eerie silence settled down among them and Lance can’t help but think that he couldn't do anything to stop it, to save their families, to save them from the pain.

He couldn’t do anything.

Another sob shakes his body as he drops his head in defeat and he clenches his hands to stop them from shaking. It does nothing.

Breath, breath, he tell himself in his mind, you gotta breath, come on.

But nothing comes. He can't grasp the air around him and it only makes him more desperate; his lungs ache, his head is pounding and his legs turn into noodles making him slide down the wall until he’s slumped on the floor.

Lance tries again, then again and finally, finally, he gasps loudly, making more tears to fall as he takes one breath in and a sob sneaks their way through.

"F-fuck" he whimpers, small and quietly, "Not now, please."

No one hears him and he can feel how his dark thoughts start leaking into his mind slowly. They start slowly, as they always do; curious and mockingly innocent as they swim around him before they turn accusingly and harsh.

Why can’t you be smarter? Why can’t you be stronger? Why can't you be better?

Why can’t you – Why can’t you –

"Stop." Lance whispers but he knows it's useless and his mind just keeps running; every insecurity and every feeling breaking free and there’s nothing he can do to stop them.

Why can’t you be enough? Why can’t you be a good paladin? Why can't you be someone trustworthy?

Why can’t you –

I’m here.

The sudden thought shakes him out of his trance and Lance is blinking in surprise, eyes staring straight to the floor as the soft familiar voice cuts his thoughts and starts filling his mind with comfort.

I always have time for you, buddy! Whenever u wanna talk!

You know where to find me! Or you can always use Rover to get me!

My door is always open for you, Lance. Never doubt that.

Whatever may be in your mind; I’m here to listen, asteraki.

My boy, if a chat is what you need my ears are quite capable!

Lance suck in a sharp breath as his team’s words chant over and over again inside his head. His lips unconsciously twitch upward and then there’s this warm feeling inside as Keith’s voice re-appears among them.

I’m here, love. He hears, loud and clear, almost as if his boyfriend was right beside him, I’m right here if you need me.