#marty deeks

(late season seven)

Deeks was about half-way through his workout when Callen walked into the gym.  "You're in early," Callen said as he put his briefcase on the weightlifting bench before sitting next to it.

Slowing down a little on the exercise bike, Deeks said, "I went to surf this morning but there was the police had everything cordoned off."

"What happened?"

"Two bodies washed up.  Young girls – teenagers probably.  Offered to help but wearing my wetsuit probably didn't give the 'I'm here to work vibe' the officer in charge as looking for."

"Did they have any ideas about the bodies?"

"Seems some social media thing is going on to go to marinas and take out some wave runners or jet skis for a joyride.  Stupid in the daytime but at night...nobody realizes how dark it is at night on the water until they are out there."

"That's terrible."

"I told LAPD if they needed anything and we could help, give me a call.  So far, no call."

"Things seem better between you and LAPD," Callen noted.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Cleaning up your old squad probably didn't hurt."

"Yeah, Steadman, Quinn and Flynn weren't poster boys for LAPD recruiting efforts."

"You think about going back?"

"Should I be thinking about going back?" Deeks answered a question with a question.

"If Hetty wants you here, you're here."

"And if you don't want me here?   I mean, we had a conversation after I came back from all of my unauthorized Russian dental work and you seemed not so on board."

"You weren't ready to be back in the field."

Deeks stopped peddling the stationary bike.  "Hetty popped up in my apartment – literally, she was hiding in the curtains – and said I was ready to return to work.  I returned to work."

"You should have been eased in."

"Probably but here we are.  So, should I be looking to return to LAPD?"

"No, but you have a record of changing careers every few years."

"I've been LAPD for over ten-years."

"A couple of years in vice, a couple of years with the undercover unit, a couple of years with us.   Before that, it was the public defenders office then the DA's office."

"You had a few stops before making it here."

"True."

"Not going anywhere voluntarily, Callen."

Callen nodded his head.  "I always thought Hetty would offer you a fulltime position."

"She did.  About a year after I got here.  She did all the paperwork, all I had to do was sign."

"When did she do this?"

"Right before our springtime visit to Romania."

"Getting her ducks in a row," Callen mumbled.  "If she filled out all the paperwork, why aren't you NCIS?"

"I said no."

Callen's eyebrows shot up.  "Brave man.  How did she react?"

"I'm still here so I guess she was fine with it.  I have the paperwork in my desk."

"Why did you say no?"

"I like being LAPD.  It's where I belong."

"As long as you're not actually there with them."

"I think of it as a long distance marriage.  We show up together for big events, hang around from time to time, talk on the phone a lot but they have their lives, I have mine and everyone is happy."

Callen chuckled as he stood.  "Well, if you plan to move back in together, or you decide to move on to something else, I'd like a head's up."

"Sure, can I ask where this all came from?"

"I'm thinking Sam may have to take a step back to be with his family.  I need to know the status of team if he's gone for any significant time.  Plus, you showed up about six-years ago, wanted to make sure you weren't getting antsy."

"Not antsy. And I'll be showing up for a while longer," Deeks said as he started pedaling again.

***

I Guess There’s Blame to Share

Deeks sits next to Kensi’s bed, filling out a form from the large stack a nurse had handed him this morning. He’s already submitted ones for temporary medical leave for himself and dozens more on Kensi’s behalf.

The words are starting to blur together when Julia returns from a trip to get coffee. She sets a whole more than coffee down on the tiny table next to Deeks.

“I got some sandwiches, fruit, and cookies,” she explains, offering him one of the coffees. “Sorry it’s not better, but the cafeteria isn’t open yet and all the breakfast food looked unappetizing.”

“Thank you.” Deeks pops the off the coffee and takes a long drink. It’s lukewarm but surprisingly fresh tasting. “You didn’t have to do that,” he tells Julia.

“I know you didn’t have time to eat earlier and I noticed you were rubbing your head before. So, take a break from all that.” gestures to all the paperwork. “It will still be there when you’re done.”

Though her demeanor is far different, Julia reminds him of Roberta in this moment. She’s no less determined, just softer and less chaotic in her approach.

As Deeks picks one of the sandwiches at random, he notices Julia glance at Kensi and sorrow fill her eyes. Any appetite he had disappears instantly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t take better care of her,” he whispers hoarsely.

“What do you mean?” Julia turns with a look of confusion.

“I’m her partner, her—” Deeks stops before he says “fiancé”. He’d never gotten that far. “I let Kensi get hurt.”

“Marty, sweetheart, from everything I’ve heard, you had no control over what happened. I know my daughter has a dangerous job. I don’t always like it, but I know this is what she is driven to do and I respect that. Kensi is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her watching her back.”

“It doesn’t feel like I did. Otherwise she wouldn’t be in a coma,” Deeks says bitterly. A wave of anguish floods him as he remembers Kensi’s screams when they pulled her free. Then the terrifying silence.

Julia takes his hands, redirecting him very effectively. “Look where you are right now, Marty. I’ve heard the way you advocate for her with the doctors. Even though you’re injured too, you’ve barely left Kensi’s side. You are taking care of her. Just like she’d want.”

Deeks shakes his head and inhales slowly, fighting back tears.

“I know my daughter. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this,” Julia insists. She squeezes his hand, a silent request for him to listen, and he eventually nods. “Good. Now please sit down and eat something. We need you strong, Marty.”

***

"You are part orangutan." "You're looking at my butt, aren't you?" "I could have just picked the lock!" "Yeah, and miss this opportunity to impress you?"