#supernaturalseries

It's been a few days since our first date, and each day I found myself falling deeper in love. The entire night replayed in my mind like a movie.

I remembered Dean's gentle touch as he fed me strawberries, our laughter filling the air when one fell. He spoke about his family, and his love for working on cars. He shared stories of his little brother Sam, and his late mother. There were tears shed and comfort exchanged, and of course-the lingering kisses.

Nothing intimate happened on our first date, it wasn't that I didn't want to-believe me, I did-but I wanted to make sure everything between us was right, genuine, not just a spur of the moment thing.

Plus, Andrew was the only one I've been with, and I wasn't ready, for that big of a step. I wasn't even sure if I was staying yet...

But when Dean touched me, it was unlike anything I'd experienced before. It was tender, fulfilling, and it felt like he truly cared.

The next morning, he called me for coffee, setting a routine that helped me ease back into going out again. Despite the town's gossip and judgmental glances, Dean remained unfazed, and eventually, I stopped caring too.

Claire and I hung out shortly after our date, bonding over lunch and swapping stories. She was a refreshing friend in this town, one who didn't judge or buy into rumors.

I knew I had to make a decision soon-whether to stay in this town or leave. I didn't want to leave him, but finding a job here was difficult, and my money was running out.

I hadn't told Dean about my thoughts of leaving. I didn't want to burden him, and honestly, I hadn't expected to develop such strong feelings for him so quickly. But I knew I needed to have a serious conversation with him about my future, despite how much I dreaded the idea of losing something like this.

I pulled out my laptop, scanning through job listings again. Most seemed tied to Andrew or businesses featured on his news channel-places unlikely to hire me.

With a sigh, I closed the laptop and dialed Dean's number. It had only been a few hours since we last spoke, But I already missed him, and his voice had a way of comforting me.

Dean picked up after the first ring. "Hey, sweetheart."

"Hey, Dean. How's work going?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful.

"Busy. There was an accident, so i'm working on two very expensive cars. It's a bit intimidating." he replied with a chuckle.

“You’re the best mechanic they could have,” I reassured him, laying my phone on my chest, closing my eyes to savor his voice a moment longer.

“Thanks. How’s your day?”

I hesitated. Dean could always tell when something was bothering me. “It’s… okay.”

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” he asked gently.

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. “It’s… nothing. Just trying to figure out my next steps.”

Dean knew I was hiding something. “Next steps towards what? Is there anything I can do to help?”

I let out a nervous giggle. “Not unless you can offer me a job and a place to stay.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line that made my heart skip a beat. “I was actually thinking… maybe I can help with that.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“Well, we’re looking for a secretary at the office, and I could talk to my dad about it. And… I have a downstairs unit in my place that you could rent if you’d like,” Dean offered sincerely.

I was taken aback by his generosity. “Dean, as much as I appreciate that—”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” he interrupted firmly.

I thought about the rumors swirling around town about me, especially those involving Andrew. It felt wrong to accept Dean’s help, like I was being tested, or setting myself up for future criticism.

“Um… Maybe we could start with the job first, and then we’ll see,” I replied cautiously. “I don’t want to ask too much of you.”

Dean chuckled softly. “If that’s what you’re comfortable with, sweetheart. How about you come by the site in about an hour, and I’ll talk to John?”

“Okay, that works for me. Thanks, Dean,” I said gratefully.

After saying our goodbyes, I felt a rush of nerves. Not only was Dean trying to get me a job at his workplace, but I would also be meeting his father, John Winchester.

From what I’d heard, John was an intimidating figure—intimidating yet fair. I hoped I made a good impression, especially since I knew Dean’s job and possibly our future together were at stake.

I pulled into the parking lot and spotted Dean working underneath a car. I couldn’t resist sneaking up and playfully tickling his leg, causing him to startle and bump his head on the car.

I covered my mouth, trying to suppress a laugh, but it was too late. Dean rolled out from under the car, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Oh, I’m so going to get you back for that, sweetheart.”

I giggled, helping him up. “I’m so sorry.”

He laughed deep and hugged me, “It’s alright. Let’s go inside. I’ll introduce you to my dad,” Dean said, the nerves evident in his voice.

Little did I know, Dean was as nervous as I was, if not more. He knew his father had reservations about me, especially after losing the interview because of our initial encounter.

Dean knocked on the office door, and John Winchester’s sharp eyes instantly fixated on me. His expression tightened, his gaze scrutinizing Dean. I sensed there was something Dean hadn’t told me, but I wasn’t sure what.

“Dad, I wanted you to meet Y/N L/N. Y/N, this is my dad and the owner of Winchester Mechanics, John Winchester.”

I offered a polite smile, stepping forward to shake John’s hand. He chuckled under his breath, his handshake gruff. He leaned back against his desk, arms crossed, his eyes returning to Dean. “Was there something you needed to talk about, Dean?” John asked, his tone cool.

Dean swallowed nervously, his gaze dropping slightly. “Uh, yeah. Y/N is looking for a job, and I was wondering if you still had that opening for a secretary.”

John smiled faintly, shaking his head. I knew at that moment I wanted to earth to open up and swallow me whole, anything to get out of this situation.

"Dean, could you give Y/n and me a moment alone?" Dean's eyes widened as he turned towards me. I nodded quickly, and he exited the room, leaving me alone with his father, whose stare could have cut through steel.

"You'll have to excuse my son. Sometimes he acts without thinking," John said, circling his desk and gesturing for me to sit. He sighed, the tension in the room thickening around me.

"Listen, Y/N. You seem nice, and I'm sure you mean well. But I don't think you're the right fit for this place."

"May I ask why?" I whispered.

He sighed again, settling back into his chair. "I'm aware of the rumours surrounding you, what Andrew and the townsfolk say. It's not my place to judge, but I can't risk our business over someone we barely know. Dean doesn't know you either. Why should we jeopardize everything over a girl who left a relationship unhappy? How is that fair to us?"

Embarrassment flushed my cheeks, tears threatening in my eyes. He was right. I wasn't worth the trouble. This was Andrew's town, not mine. I nodded in surrender and rose from my seat. "I understand."

John stood beside me, his hand lightly touching my arm. "I'm not trying to be harsh, Y/N. But Dean doesn't need this. He doesn't need to worry about a girl he just met. He shouldn't have to endure a town looking down on him because of your history. But he's too stubborn to see it."

I nodded again, wiping away stray tears. "I know. I'll make it clear to him, Sir."

Before he could respond, I hurried out of the office, passing Dean on my way to the car. He caught my arm, concern etched on his face. "What happened? Where are you going?"

"Thanks for trying, Dean. But this was a mistake. I shouldn't have involved you."

Confusion furrowed his brow, but when he saw my tears, anger flashed across his features. "What did my dad say?"

"Nothing that wasn't true. I'm sorry. I have to go... I'll call you later."

Starting my car, I sped away from the parking lot. When Dean was out of sight, tears poured down my cheeks. I felt humiliated, foolish, and undeserving. How could I have thought things would ever be normal here? Why did I think a relationship with someone as wonderful as Dean could work when I was the town's most despised?

Dean’s POV

I stormed into my dad's office, seething with anger. He met my glare with a stern expression. "What the hell did you say to her?"

He stepped closer, his voice low. "Watch your tone, Dean. I told her the truth—that having her around is costing us already. She didn't have to leave, she didn't have to listen, but she did. She knows she's causing problems, I don't understand why you can't see that."

I scoffed and backed up. "Maybe because I'm the only one in this damn town who sees any good in her. Maybe I gave her a chance, and when she showed her true colours, I realized what a great person she is. Did it ever occur to you that Andrew might be the problem?"

He shook his head, anger simmering. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the wall. "That doesn't matter, Dean. Our business is everything. To survive, we need to be on the right side."

"And aligning with a guy who beats women is the right side?"

"Watch your mouth. Andrew has influence. What happens at home is not our concern."

I scoffed again, stepping towards the door. "You're unbelievable. What if it were Mom in her position? Would you have treated her the same way?"

"Don't you dare compare her to your mother." His voice boomed on the walls.

“Swear to god what? You’ll hit me? Yeah, because everybody in this town thinks with their fists. Go ahead, prove me right dad.”

He stepped closer, eyes glaring on me, firsts clenched. "Dean, I'm warning you."

I moved closer, unable to hold back my fury and hurt. "If it were Mom, you'd do the exact same thing."

Before I could react, he grabbed my shirt, slamming me against the wall. Pain shot through my back as his grip tightened around my throat.

"Your mother would never be in that situation. Y/N was foolish to get involved, and you're even more foolish for defending her."

"I'm falling in love with her, why can't you support that!" I shouted, watching his expression darken.

"You're an idiot. You don’t love her."

Pushing him away, I rushed for the door. "I think I do, and you won't stop me from being with her. I care about her more than I care about Winchester Mechanics, and you'd do the same if it were Mom."

Back to me

I locked myself in the motel room, collapsing against the wall as sobs racked my body. How could I have thought I'd find peace here? John was right. Dean was risking too much by being with me, and he hardly knew me. I couldn't take away his future, his passion for cars, all because of my tangled history with Andrew.

That's why I decided to leave. I packed hastily, preparing to depart and sort things out elsewhere. I couldn't stay, shouldn't have stayed.

My phone rang, displaying Dean's name. I hesitated, knowing he wouldn't stop until I answered.

His messages flooded in, each one a plea to talk. My heart raced. He was coming here? Panic surged. I couldn’t face him, couldn’t bear to watch his heart break as I told him I was leaving for good. I had to go before he arrived.

I finished packing, tossing everything into the car. As I closed the trunk, I saw Dean's truck pulling in. He must have raced here.

He hurried over, pain and worry spread across on his face. "Sweetheart..."

I avoided his eyes, "Dean, don't. It's okay. I have to go."

He glanced at the empty room behind me, panic in his eyes. "Go where?"

I sighed, turning to face him, struggling to contain my tears. "I'm leaving town."

The words felt like a knife in his gut. "Why are you leaving?"

"I don’t belong here, Dean. I'm an outcast. Your dad was right. It's not fair for me to jeopardize your future when you hardly know me."

He scoffed gently, reaching for my arm. "I do know you. I don't understand why everyone keeps saying this. It hasn't been long, but I know you. I know about your broken leg when you were five, from falling off a horse. I know you're scared of dogs and hate the dark. I know you've always dreamed of going to New York and seeing Times Square. I know the way your nose crinkles when you're lost in thought, and how you tilt your head. And I know you don't want to leave because you haven't looked away from me this whole time."

I slowly met his gaze, tears welling in my eyes. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Stay with me. I'll take care of you. I'll help you."

I stepped back, arms wrapped around myself. "Dean, if I stay, I'm putting your future at risk."

He moved closer, his hands reaching out. "Fuck my future! Why does everyone care so much about my future? A job isn’t everything. It's you."

My heart skipped a beat, his words hanging in the air. "What did you say?"

He sighed, closing the distance between us. "It's you. You're my future. It hasn't been long, but I feel it. I know you feel it too. And I've only seen someone move this fast once before—my dad and my mom. I want what they have, and I know I can have it with you. Please… just stay with me. I'll take care of you."

I couldn't hold back anymore. I leaned into him, kissing him softly before pulling away, finding the courage to speak my heart. "I think I might love you, Dean."

A smile broke across his face, and he kissed my forehead gently. "I think I love you too, Y/N."

I sighed, resting my head against his chest, finding peace in his embrace. "What do we do now? I can't afford this motel room, and I don’t have a job."

"Well... since the job didn't work out, you could move into the apartment below mine. Or... move in with me."

"Dean…"

He grinned, looking down at me. "Hey, you said you didn't want to ask too much of me. Technically, it's just one thing."

I smiled through my tears, nodding. "You're right, Detective Winchester. Are you sure?"

"More sure than anything. It's up to you—you can take the apartment or with me. Either way works for me."

"I want to live with you."

His eyes widened, joy lighting up his face. "Really?"

"Like you said, my future is with you. We might as well start now, even though I think we are absolutely crazy."

He nodded, giving me the address before heading to his truck to meet me there. For the first time in a while, I felt hope that things were heading in the right direction—all because of Dean. I prayed that moving in together would work out.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 5 coming soon stay tuned!

The music was booming loudly throughout the hotel, people scattered everywhere. Some drinking, others dancing, a few lucky ones making out on the lobby couches.

New Years Eve, the most magical time of year. Time for fresh starts, new chapters, and leaving all the pain and drama in the past and that's what you were most excited for.

This past year wasn't too awful, a couple moments that you would certainly change, but you met the love of your life so you knew you wouldn't redo it if you had a chance.

Jensen Ackles.

The man who stole your heart the moment his forest green eyes reached yours. The man you saw a future with, the man who made you feel like nothing could ever hurt you, not when he's by your side. He made you feel free, happy, and yourself.

You sipped on your drink as you shook on the dance floor, hand in your hair, getting lost in the music. You turned to the bar and noticed him watching you. Cheeks burned red at the mere sight of him gazing over your hips, watching them move side to side, his tongue peeked out slightly.

You bit your lip and strolled towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck to get close. His hand moved to the small of your back, lips kissing your cheek gently causing your heart to flutter within your chest.

You pushed yourself closer, your body crushing him against the bar as you lifted your head, lips pressing on his jawline and neck over and over. His hand moved to your hip, gripping the skin tightly. Leaning down to your ear, his voice gave you goosebumps. "Honey, stop teasing."

You smirked and lifted your head to face him, "I can't help it Jensen, you look so damn....." Leaning back, your eyes glanced up and down his body, stopping slightly to eye the growing erection in his dress pants. You licked your lips and faced him again, "Yummy."

He chuckled and pulled you into him, hugging you tightly to his chest. "How much have you had to drink?"

You giggled in response and rested your head against his chest, blushing when his hand moved to the back of your head, fingers trailing in your hair gently. "Thought so." He chuckled.

You lifted your head and shrugged, "It's New Years, I'm happy. What's the problem with that?"

His eyes widened and he smiled politely. "No problem with that at all, your adorable when your all drunk."

You leaned closer, your lips pecking his lightly. "You have the most beautiful green eyes."

His cheeks burned red and his head lowered, but you quickly grabbed his chin and dragged him back up. "Don't be embarrassed, it's one of the things I love about you. My green eyed knight."

If his cheeks could get any redder, he swore people would think he was having heatstroke. He bit his lip and chuckled nervously. Even with all the months you two have been dating, hearing you flirt with him made his heart skip a beat, butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"Well." He cleared his throat, resting his forehead against yours. "I can't even begin to explain how absolutely beautiful you are."

Normally a compliment like that from Jensen, especially with his husky and rough voice, would cause you to hide your face or become shy. With the liquid courage flowing through your system though, you only fed into it. You leaned closer, capturing his lips with yours in a sweet yet passionate kiss.

"You know..." You started lowly, your finger tracing patterns on his chest, your eyes fixed on his. "Midnight is nearly here."

He nodded, a playful smile appearing on his lips, his breathing hitching every time your finger traced lower on his chest.

"So, I know the ball is going to drop soon, but I'd much rather see your clothes drop."

His face froze as he sucked in his breath, his cheeks burning impossibly red. His head fell and a nervous laugh escaped his lips. You didn't move, your eyes never left his. He finally lifted his head and cleared his throat, "Your killing me here sweetie."

Finally a smile appeared on your face as you backed up slightly, chugging the rest of your drink. "Now now, we can't have that can we?"

You turned away from him and walked towards the dance floor, peeking behing you to see his eyes fixated on you, his mouth hung open and his hands by his pants, slightly covering the evidence of the teasing you just gave him.

You smirked and held out your hand, waiting for him to join you. He wasn't much of a dancer, you knew that. He would do his little funny dances on stage or when he's messing around but when it came to hitting up clubs or parties, he wouldn't really dance. With you though, man he would dance till his feet fell off.

As soon as he reached your body, you turned away from him. Your hands sliding on his legs, butt pushing against his already growing erection. He gasped and looked around for any witnesses, but honestly people were doing a lot worse than you two were right now.

You spun to face him, your hands trailing down his arms and chest until finally you reached his belt, pulling him closer into you. He wrapped his arms around you and leaned, lips kissing your neck gently.

You looked upwards at him, your eyes focused on his. This time all the cocky flirting was erased, instead you smiled admirably. Jensen was the best thing that's ever happened to you, starting this year with him was everything you could have asked for.

Another day, another nightmare.

That's how it has been feeling for the past two weeks. You dreaded waking up. Hated the sight of the sun, hated the cool air flowing through your apartment, hated all the noises and you were exhausted from the voices flooding your mind.

Sometimes you could handle it, you could pick yourself up and brush yourself off but lately it's been getting harder. You've been alone for the past two weeks, nobody coming over and you certainly weren't leaving.

And that was fine, you thought. You'd rather be alone than be a burden to others, bringing them down with the constant sour mood you were in. That's what you thought for the first couple days until the voices got louder, the weight got heavier and you felt like you were suffocating.

It's been two days since you have decided to lay in bed and not get out. You stopped answering your phone, apologizing internally to your boyfriend who would send you a message and not hear back.

You wanted to answer, you really did but the weight on your shoulders was too much, you couldn't put that on him. You needed him, every part of your body was aching and exhausted, and you needed help but were too scared to ask for it.

If you ask for it, you felt like your mind was right. The voices telling you that your a burden, nobody cares, you just want attention, they would be right.

You vowed to stay in bed all day, no matter what. You didn't have energy for anything else anyways. You weren't hungry, weren't sleeping well and honestly you were giving up.

Jensen, your amazing boyfriend, thought you were sick. That's the excuse you told him. You had the flu, and you didn't want him to get sick considering his career and lifestyle, he had to stay away.

And he did, he stayed away. Daily, he sent one or two messages checking in on you and you'd lie, saying you were a little better but not perfect. He was sweet and supportive. Even dropping off soup that you failed to eat.

You didn't deserve him.

Your phone started ringing and you sighed, pulling the blanket over your head tighter. It rang a few times before it finally stopped, you didn't even want to check who it was, but you had a feeling it was Jensen. He worried, he cared. He shouldn't, you thought.

Closing your eyes once again, you let the tears fall. You were suffocating, breaking apart piece by piece and soon, there would be nothing left. You didn't even want to be here anymore which was a scary fucking thought.

You didn't matter, at least that's what you thought. Nobody was miss you. Right?

Jensen’s POV

I frowned when the call was sent to voicemail, worry and anxiety filling my chest. I knew something was wrong. I knew you weren't sick, you barely got sick. In all the months I've been with you, I've only seen you sick once and you were so unaffected by it, you still went to work and hit up the gym. It was impressive, but it just shows that you weren't telling the truth now.

I know about your mental health, we have talked about it. We made a deal. You come to me if anything is wrong, I'll be there, and same goes for me.

But you weren't speaking, you weren't reaching out, you were pushing me away, well-trying. I'd never leave you.

I gave you as much space and time as I could, the first week was nearly impossible, I sat outside your house watching, trying to see if you were okay. Your car was in the driveway, lights were off, it's like nobody lived there and it scared me. The only time I’ve seen you come out was a couple days ago, when I dropped off soup. You barely opened the door, your head sticking out for a moment before you grabbed the food and shut the door. I hope you ate at least but I know how your appetite shuts down when your like this. It scared the shit out of me even more.

You'd text back sometimes, saying that everything was fine, lying about your sickness but I let you, I didn't care about you lying if that's what you needed, I wanted you to come to me if you need help.

But your messages stopped a few days ago. My heart stopped with it.

I knew it was getting worse and I couldn't wait anymore, I could feel it inside, you needed me.

I wasn't going to let you drown in the voices, I needed to save you.

--Back to you--

You started drifting off to sleep, the sound of knocking on your door causing you to jump slightly. You frowned and pulled the pillow over your face, silently begging for whoever was at the door to leave.

The knocking stopped and you sighed in relief. But the noise of somebody unlocking the door caused your heart to stop beating in your chest. There's only one person that could be.

Jensen.

The footsteps got closer, than the sounds of keys being placed on the counter, before a light knock on your bedroom door echoed through the room. You stayed hidden underneath the pillow, biting your lip to stiffle the sob that begged to escape.

Even the thought of him here with you, made your heart clench. You needed him, but the voices were echoing in your mind. You were a burden.

The bed dipped in front of you and than you felt hands on the blanket, gently pulling it down to try and see you. You shook your head and covered your face with your hands.

"Honey, it's me." He whispered gently causing tears to form in your eyes. He sighed and got up, you thought he was leaving, sick of your mood but the bed shifted behind you, long warm arms wrapping tightly around you, pulling towards his warm chest.

He kissed your head, and you could feel the frown on his lips.

See? You are upsetting him. Told ya.

"Y/N, Talk to me."

You shook your head and wiped your eyes, fighting back with everything inside to keep the walls up, don't let it show.

He sat up and turned your body, his eyes finally catching your face. You swore you could hear his heart shattering as soon as he caught the tears in your red eyes, your face was white and your lips were chapped. You avoided his eyes and closed yours tightly. "I-I'm sorry." You whispered nearly inaudibly.

His finger moved to your chin, forcing you to look at him. He smiled sadly and shook his head, "You have nothing to apologize for baby, tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

Shaking your head, you tried to turn away but his hand moved to your cheek, keeping you in place. He knew you better, sometimes you needed a little push. "Baby. Please."

You hesitantly looked up, regretting making eye contact because as soon as you saw the concern and love in his green eyes, you couldn't hold it back anymore. You felt so awful, so guilty for doing this to him.

A loud sob escaped causing Jensen to flinch before he let go of your cheek, pulling you into his chest tightly. Your breathing was becoming rapid, your cries shaking your body like a earthquake. You couldn't do it anymore, you didn't want to.

Your breathing wouldn't settle, and you started to panic thinking that you'd never be okay again. Jensen's eyes widened in concern before he sat up, pushing your head lightly back. He noticed the way your cheeks were burning red, your chest heaving. You couldn't breathe.

He pushed himself up on the bed, sitting against the headboard before he dragged you between his legs, back to his chest. He lifted your arms to open your airway, his lips kissing your cheek over and over as an attempt to sooth you but nothing was working.

"Okay whoa honey, whoa, breathe for me. Slow it down."

You shook your head and gasped, "I-I can't."

"Yes you can baby, yes you can. Count to five and breathe out with me, c'mon." He counted out loud, watching in worry as you tried to take a deep breath but failed. His hand brushed the hair from your face and he frowned, "Let's try it one more time okay? You got this."

This time, he placed his hand on your chest, feeling the air seep through slowly, lightly. It was enough for now, and he was proud of you regardless. "That's my girl, your doing great baby."

Your breathing slowed, but your cries didn't. The voices were everywhere, screaming at you. Telling you awful awful things.

You don't deserve him.

He's such a good man and look how he has to spend his day.

Your nothing.

You should give up.

Leave him alone.

He noticed you zoning out and he knew you well enough to know your demons were attacking you, telling you things that weren't true.

He needed to get you back.

He couldn’t help the tears that formed in his own eyes as he watched you come undone. Your eyes darted everywhere, your entire body shaking so hard that he could feel it throughout his own body. You were cold yet hot and even though the breathing slowed down, he knew you were one second away from having another panic attack.

He moved away from behind you, regretting his mistake instantly when your breathing sped up, your hands trying to reach for him. He let a tear fall as he sat in front of you, hands on either side of your face. Trying to reach you.

“Nono sweetie I’m right here, I’m here. I’m not leaving.”

Your hand clutched your chest like it physically hurt and he panicked. This was the worst he’s ever seen it.

His own chest was becoming tight as he watched you, unsure of what to do and how to help. As soon as you noticed the tears in his eyes your cries got worse, shaking your head at yourself for being so selfish.

“J-J-Jensen…” you whispered between cries.

He inches closer and kissed your head, “Yes baby.”

“I’m broken.” You sobbed in defeat and his heart shattered for you.

Because you were the furthest thing from broken. You were everything to him. You were the reason he woke up happy, you were the reason he slowed down drinking, he was never lonely anymore, he was motivated and so god damn in love. You were the reason why he believed in love songs and happy endings.

He shook his head and held you tight. Holding all the pieces of you he could, he feared if he let go he would watch you break completely in his arms and it would be too late.

It took forever, way too long, but your crying finally decreased into light sniffles. Your body was still trembling but he didn’t mind. He would hold you until you were still again.

When he felt like you were calmer, he sighed and kissed your head. “Your not broken baby.”

You moved to sit up in front of him, fear still apparent in his eyes. “I am. You don’t need to lie.”

He shook his head and tried so fucking hard to keep the tears at bay, but he was failing. He felt like he was failing you, he’s supposed to be strong and be there for you and he just couldn’t handle you thinking that you weren’t the most perfect person in the world.

You raised your hand slowly, placing it on his cheek and wiping his eyes. “Im sorry I made you cry. Im so sorry Jensen. I don’t deserve you.”

And that. That made him fall apart. His tears rushed faster and he shook his head, watching how shocked you were at the sudden turning of tables.

“Y/N. You are… fuck. You’re everything. I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am without you.”

You sighed and pushed your head down, sniffing becoming more constant as you tried to hold it together for his sake. “Jensen, look at what I’m doing to you. It’s not the first time either, it is the first time since you’ve cried, but I know internally it kills you. I can’t stop it. I can’t stop the voices. I can’t stop the weight on my shoulders but you don’t need to carry it for me.”

He quickly wiped his eyes and lifted his head to face you. “You know what I need? I need you. All of you. Your happy days and sad days. And even the days where I piss you off so much, you scream your head off at me. Never, not once have I ever looked at you and thought I’d be better without you. Never once have I thought of anybody else but you in the morning, the night, hell-all the time. I don’t matter without you. I’m not happy without you and it just kills me that I can’t silence those fucking voices for you, it kills me that you are such a perfect person stuck in a loop of unfair torture going on inside that head. That’s the only reason why I’m upset, but nothing you did hurt me. You never hurt me.”

Tears made their way down but this time it was silent cries. You wanted to hear that. You needed to hear that. But the voices that dulled down were still telling you that you weren’t good enough.

He leaned closer like he was reading your thoughts and smiled sadly. “What would you do if the voices were a person, and they were saying that stuff about me in front of you?”

You thought and frowned, “I’d tell them to fuck off because your perfect.”

He smiled ventilated this time. “Exactly. That’s what your voices are, a person. A monster invading your space. Don’t let them. Put a face or a name to those assholes. Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s not that easy.” You whispered.

He leaned closer, hands grabbing your cheeks gently. “It is. Try it. Fuck off Karen.”

He knew that it indeed wasn’t easy, you’d still listen and hear it. You’d still believe half of what their saying but that was an issue for later. For now he just wanted to see you smile. Hear you laugh. It was his goal.

“Fuck off…..Karen?” You smirked lightly and he finally took a breath.

“I don’t know, it was the first name I could come up with plus you see all those Karen videos on the internets, they sound like these damn voices. Annoying and unnecessary.”

You shook your head and giggled, your heart melting when you saw him relax a bit when your laugh came out. He was seriously perfect.

“Okay okay Cmon. Try it again. Fuck off karen!” He shouted loudly causing you to laugh and wipe your eyes.

“Fuck off Karen.” You spoke and he frowned, rolling his eyes at you. “What was that? Is Karen a mouse in your head?” He joked.

Laughter filled the room and you forgot about the situation you were in a few moments ago, Jensen and you took turns yelling Fuck off Karen until you both were out of breath.

You laid your head on his lap and a slight frown came up. “I am really sorry Jensen.”

He leaned lower, kissing your nose gently. “I meant what I said earlier, you don’t ever need to apologize to me. I’m always going to be here for you.”

You smiled sadly and looked up, “I didn’t mean to push you away.”

He shook his head and smiled bigger. “You thought you pushed me away? Girl you couldn’t push me away if you had a damn bulldozer.”

You laughed and stared into his eyes, seeing that he was being genuine. He kissed you gently but passionately enough to show you he was being truthful. There’s nothing you could do to ever push him out of your life.

“I love you Jensen.” You whispered, feeling the weight come off your shoulders, at least slightly.

He smirked back and nodded, “Your cool too.”

You gasped and went to sit up, but he quickly pulled you tightly on his lap and laughed loudly. “I’m just kidding, I love you so much honey. Please remember our deal and come to me next time okay? I won’t wait as long as I did today to come break in and save you.”

You smirked and nodded, “I promise I won’t. As long as you promise to yell fuck off Karen every time my thoughts enter from now on, it was funny.”

He chuckled and shook his head, “You got a deal.”

After all the heartache you went through, all the loss of hope, you knew finally that you’d be okay. Jensen loved you more than anything, and he would never let the voices win.

Jensen watched in anguish as you walked by him, a light "Hello." leaving your lips, but that was it. Again.

For the past two weeks, its been getting worse. Your usual "Good morning Jensen!" was replaced with "Good morning." to "Morning." and finally to "Hello." He didn't understand what he did or why this was happening.

It wasn't just the morning greetings either, you were pulling away fully. You stopped popping into his trailer at random times of the day. You stopped eating in the tent with all the others. You stopped inviting them out for drinks, you stopped communicating with Jensen and it tore him apart.

He's only known you a matter of five months now but he couldn't stop thinking about you. The day he met you was stuck on repeat in his mind.

-5 months ago-

"Everybody, I'd like to welcome the new cast member of supernatural, Y/N L/N. She will be playing Morgan and she will be here for a while so get to know her now."

You stood shyly behind the director, lifting your small hand to wave hi, and as soon as your eyes met his, you froze, a bright and nervous smile appearing on both of your faces.

Everybody introduced themselves before heading to the tent, leaving you and Jensen standing alone, awkwardly, in the room. His eyes never left yours. Yours never left his.

Finally after what felt like forever, you walked up to him. He smiled and stepped closer, holding out his hand. He was about to introduce himself before you held up your hand, a smug look on your face.

"Don't need to introduce yourself, I know exactly who you are."

He smirked and nodded, crossing his arms to let you continue.

You leaned closer as if you were telling a secret and placed your hand on his shoulder. "Your name is Dean Winchester, your an Aquarius and you enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women."

He froze, pulling back to stare at the comically huge smile on your face before you burst into laughter. He quickly joined, shaking his head at you. He knew right than and there, he liked you.

Since that day, his thoughts revolved around you. He couldn't help it. He thought you were the most beautiful girl he has ever laid eyes on, your humor matched his, you went out of your way to show respect and kindness to everybody around you and you two were inseparable.

He had it hard for you, but he missed his chance.

--Two months ago--

The daisy in his hand flopped over, but he didn't mind. He knew you would love it either way. You never really wore anything with flowers, but when you did-daisies. He found out that you loved them. You loved how simple yet beautiful they were. Like they didn't need to try, they were just naturally gorgeous. Just like you.

He walked across the set, catching your eye. You smiled and rushed forward, eyeing the daisy in his hand. "Is that for me?"

He smiled and nodded, leaning closer to place the flower in your hair. You touched it gently and stepped closer to give him a hug. It was the last one you've given him since that day.

"Hey Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to go get a drink, maybe we could talk."

You frowned and let him go, "Damn, I have a date tonight or I totally would."

He froze, embarrassment and nervousness flooding him, of course you had a date, look at you. He couldn't be jealous or angry, he had three damn months to make a move but he never did. Until today, and it was too late.

You stepped closer, concern in your eyes. "I can cancel Jensen, it's totally fine."

He shook his head and plastered on the best fake smile he could. "Nono don't be silly. You go. I'll see you tomorrow."

Your eyebrows lifted in uncertainty, staring at him for a moment longer to try and read his mood. Something was off, you knew that. "Are you sure?"

He smiled and nodded, wrapping his arm around your shoulder to walk you to your car. "Yeah, more than sure. Good luck on your date, let me know how it goes."

You finally smiled and nodded, sitting in your car before rolling down the window. "Thanks Jensen, I'll see you tomorrow."

A week after that, he was finally introduced to your new boyfriend. Kyle. Ugh. Even the name made him angry.

He didn't know why, but he didn't like that guy. There was something about him that made him uneasy. Maybe it was the fact that every time he came by, he noticed your smile lessen and your shoulders lower. Or maybe its because when he met him for the first time, all he did was look Jensen up and down before smiling smugly.

Like he knew jensen had a crush on you, and he was showing off that he’s the one who landed you. He didn't like him. At all.

--Present Day--

And now, here we are.

Jensen kept up his efforts to be your friend, trying to control the thoughts about you, trying to remind himself that you and him are friends and that was all. It hurt a lot more than he wanted to admit, seeing you with him made something bubble underneath his skin. But he loved you enough to hold back and be there as much as he could.

It seemed like you didn't want him there anymore though, and it killed him. But he knew it wasn't just him. Everybody has noticed the change. You used to come in with a huge smile on your face, even in the early hours like 5:00 am shoots, nobody knew how you did it. You were always the one to bring the energy and positive vibes, lately you were like a ghost of a person. Quiet, shy, reserved.

Sad. You seemed sad.

He wanted to ask you, he was going to ask you but he was worried that you might tell him it's none of his business. He figured you would have told him eventually, but you never did and it got worse.

A long day of shooting was finally over with. He noticed the way you acted on stage compared to off camera, you were a really talented actor. In the happy scenes, you seemed genually happy. As soon as the director called cut, the smile disapeered.

He had enough, he knew something was wrong and he needed you to know he was here for you. Tonight, he would figure it out.

You walked back to your trailer to call it a night, jumping nearly out of your skin when Jensen's hand rested on your shoulder. He held his hands up in defense and chuckled, "Sorry! Just me."

You laughed lightly and turned to face him, a plastered smile appearing. "What's up."

"What's your plans for tonight?"

You frowned and checked the time. It was later than you thought. Kyle was going to hate that. He hated when you came home late, waking him up, messing up his sleep.

You frowned and lifted your head, "Not sure, probably just go home."

He shook his head and grabbed your hand, "Nah, want to go watch a movie together?"

You stood in your spot, eyes falling to the floor. Yes, you knew you were pushing Jensen away and you really did not want to. But things with Kyle were... complicated.

It started out amazing, one date turned into multiple, soon you two were exclusivly seeing eachother, and than he basically moved into your apartment with you. It was good.

Until you noticed little things change. His attitude getting rougher. His tone unimpressed. His distance. He barely touched you unless he wanted sex. You brushed it off, thinking it was just a rough patch.

Except it got worse without you realizing. His words became aggressive. His comments pushing you further and further down.

When you'd come home late after shooting, or being at the bar, he would yell. Scream. Sometimes if he was angry enough and could smell alcohol on your breathe, he would throw things.

He has never laid a hand on you, but the pain of hearing the man you have feelings for tell you that you are a shit actress and will never go anywhere, telling you that you are the ugliest celebrity he has ever met, wishing he never met you, convincing you that if you left, you'd be alone, that shit hurt more than anything. You would have rathered him used his fists, instead of breaking your spirit.

A hand waving in your face brought you back to reality, jumping slightly. "Earth to Y/N, where'd you go honey?"

"Oh, sorry. Um... I don't know Jensen it's pretty late."

He frowned and nodded before turning to leave, but you couldn't do it. You hated seeing him sad and either way, your going to get yelled at for staying out. You can't avoid that.

"Wait!" You yelled, watching him turn and walk back towards you. "Let's do it."

He sighed and shook his head, "You don't need to say yes just bec-"

"I want to." You interrupted, a genuine smile on your face. Jensen smiled back and waved towards your trailer, letting you lead the way.

You led Jensen to your trailer, opening the door to allow him to step inside. His eyes were following you again. Noticing that you seemed a little better, a little pep in your step and he knew it was because you two haven’t spent alone time together in… god knows how long.

As much as he tried to remind himself that you two were just friends and nothing more, he couldn't help but stare at you with the same admiration he has had since day one.

He cleared his throat before sitting on the couch, waiting patiently as you pulled out your phone, typed something and than set it down. You grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge and brought it over. He accepted with a grateful smile, and you two fell right back into the friendship you used to have.

Laughter filling the trailer as you two argued over what movies were better, down to what scenes you thought were a little too extra, and than making fun of Jared, again. All in light fun of course.

You two totally forgot that you were even supposed to watch a movie together, you forgot what time it was, until a pounding at your trailer door scared the life out of you.

Standing from your spot, you glanced towards Jensen who was staring back in confusion. You opened the door and every part of you stilled when your eyes locked on Kyle. He looked pissed, tired and frustrated. If looks could kill, you would have definatly been 6ft under by now.

"K-Kyle! Hey babe. What are you doing here?" You attempted to keep the shake out of your voice.

His eyes glanced behind you and caught Jensen's gaze. He plastered a fake smile and stepped up the trailer's stairs. "Hey man. How are you doing?" He questioned.

Jensen's eyes glanced from your boyfriend to you, immedinatly taking in the way your hands slightly trembled and the glazed look in your eyes. You were scared, and he didn't know of what, yet.

He stood from his spot, holding his beer tightly in his fist. "Good good, we were just having a little movie night.”

Kyle didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He just glared at Jensen. Jensen did the same. Kept his gaze firm. You could cut the damn tension with a knife.

Finally, Kyle made the first move, his hand moving to yours, a smirk playing at his lips. He looked friendly, unharming but his eyes told you everything. You were in trouble. “Can I speak to you outside for a min baby?”

You turned towards Jensen and smiled awkwardly, “Give me a miniute?”

Jensen nodded and stayed standing, watching you leave, watching Kyle shut the door a little too hard for his comfortability. He wanted to do the respectful thing and give your space, but he was worried. There was something unsettling about the way Kyle was acting and he knew you were not okay.

He moved to the door, listening the best he could but most of it was jumbled, only some words coming in and out.

“…..3:00 am! …. Kidding me? ….Stupid!”

His jaw clenched as he listened to Kyle’s voice get louder and more angry. He hated that he was yelling at you. He hated that just because you were out with a friend, he felt the right to come here and pull you out, ruining your night. And finally he knew what was wrong.

This wasn’t the first time Kyle had acted like this. He could hear you apologizing and he cringed. You should never have to apologize, he thought.

The sounds of light crying shattered his heart and he fought against every fibre in his body not to walk out there and deck the guy. He knew he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way of yours. But things got drastic fast and he knew he needed to do something.

Kyle, very loudly screamed at you. “You think you can get anybody else but me? You should be fucking lucky I chose you, you ugly fucking bitch.”

Jensens eyes widened and he rushed towards the door, a loud smack echoing right outside the door before he opened it.

The trailer door slammed open and you nearly jumped out of your skin, your eyes quickly focusing on Jensen. He looked more angry than Kyle, and it scared you a bit.

Jensens gaze shifted to you, anger filling him when he noticed how you were pressed against the trailer, tears staining your cheeks and filled in your eyes, your face was red but only one side. He knew what that sound was.

He stepped down the stairs towards Kyle, instantly face to face with the guy. “Did you just fucking hit her?” He spit out angrily.

“Yo why don’t you go inside and let us finish our conversation.” Kyle spit, smirking at Jensen.

It took everything inside him not to punch him out right here, but he knew that wouldn’t help anything. Jensen turned towards you, his feautures softening a little. “You alright?” You nodded and bit your lip to push back the sob threatening to escape.

Jensen turned back towards Kyle and crossed his arms, standing in place. Refusing to back down. “I think you should go man.”

Kyle laughed loudly and shook his head, “Okay. C’mon Y/N.”

Before Jensen could speak, Kyle was already in front of you, aggressively pulling your arm towards him to the point where you nearly fell right on your face.

Jensen rushed forward and stepped an inch from Kyles face, eyes shooting daggers at him. “Let. Her. Go.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

Kyle pulled your arm harder causing you to whimper in pain, he pulled you to his chest and held you there. “You don’t tell me what to do. She’s my girl, not yours. Y/N let’s go.”

You stared at Jensen in desperation and fear, Kyle had never put hands on you before but now that he has, you could finally see how much danger you really were in.

When his eyes met yours, he knew that he needed to protect you at all costs. He knew that stepping in wasn’t a choice anymore, it was his responsibility. You were practically begging him to.

Jensen rushed forward and pushed Kyle, hard, on the ground. Successfully breaking your arm free from his grip. You grabbed your arm and rushed behind Jensen, his hand instantly wrapping around to hold you behind him.

Kyle jumped up and got in Jensens face, anger seeping through so visibly that it scared the hell out of you. “Back the fuck off man, Y/N last warning let’s go now.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you.”

Kyle stared at you hiding behind Jensen and laughed, “You seriously want to do this? End our relationship? Your a piece of fucking garbage nobody’s ever going to love you.”

You frowned and rested your head against Jensens back, feeling his hand press you closer like he was trying to reassure you that it would be okay.

Jensen shook his head and an angry smile appeared on his face, “Dude, you better leave now.”

Kyle smirked and stepped closer, “Or what? You gonna hit me? Do it.”

Jensen felt you tremble and he bit his lip, moving his hand to rub your back gently. “Leave.”

Kyle chuckled angrily and shook his head, “You think I don’t see what’s happening? Your only protecting her because you want to get into her pants. But trust me, she gives it way too easily and she’s not even good.”

That was it. The moment that Jensen couldn’t fight it anymore. He pushed you gently back and stepped forward, clocking Kyle square in the jaw.

Kyle flew to the ground, back hitting the cement with a sickening thud. His mouth was bloody and he looked pissed enough to kill and it scared the shit out of you. He stood from his spot and made eye contact with you pressed against the trailer. He walked closer and pointed straight in your face.

“You are a fucking cunt Y/N, thank god this is over and I don’t have to pretend I loved you anymore. Your nothing.”

You flinched at the words and shoved your head to the ground. Kyle spit on the cement before he glared at Jensen, and making his leave.

As soon as Jensen saw him leave the area, he sighed in relief. He turned to face you, his eyes widening and lowering when he saw you huddled on the ground, head on your knees.

You were shaking and your breathing was shallow. You were crying. Breaking down.

His heart broke at the sight, fighting off his own tears as he rushed forward, hand on your back and arm. “Hey he’s gone it’s okay.”

You shook your head and sob after sob came rushing out, bursting through you like a tsunami. Jensen panicked and picked you up, rushing inside the trailer and placed you on the couch.

His hands never left your back, his mouth leaned close to your ear to coach you through this. He knew you needed time and he would spend every miniute here comforting you if he had to.

Your sobs started slowing and your breathing was returning to normal, causing Jensen to release a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You okay honey? Look at me.”

You shook your head and turned away, “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

He smiled sadly as his finger came to your chin, turning you towards him. His eyes glanced at the bright red mark on your face causing him to cringe. He wished Kyle would come back just so he could hit him one more damn time.

“I don’t see anything wrong with who you are honey. Your upset, I understand. I’m not going to let you do this alone.”

You laughed sadly and shook your head free from his grip. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Do what?” He stared back in confusion.

“Pretend you care.”

He froze and he felt like you stabbed him in the heart, why would you ever think he didn’t care about you?

You saw the hesitation to speak and you felt bad, but your mind was convincing you that it was true. The damage Kyle did on your brain was immense, but you couldn’t fix it.

“Jensen… Kyle wasn’t being untruthful. Not all the time. I am not a good actress, and-“

He leaned closer before you could go on, his hand coming up to your cheek. “Stop. Don’t do that. Kyle wasn’t truthful about anything. He didn’t know anything. Your an amazing actress, you are an amazing person. And there’s so many people out there who would love you.”

You laughed under your breath and shook your head. “Oh yeah, because they are just lining up to be with me. I’ve only been with one other man since Kyle. Nobody is interested in me, he is right.”

He stared deep in your eyes and frowned, you really believed it. If he could just show you how much he adored and loved you, it would be hardcore proof that you were too amazing to let go. His eyes lowered to your lips before he made his choice.

He leaned in slowly, hearing your breathing hitch but you didn’t back away. He hesitated, his heart pounding out of his chest. He was suddenly so nervous and so anxious. He’s been wanting to do this since he met you, he wanted it to be perfect.

He was scared, freezing between wanting to kiss you and not wanting to traumatize you or take advantage of a vulnerable girl. He didn’t know what to do. His lip shook in nervousness, his hand on your cheek trembling slightly.

You smiled shyly, taking in his condition. It was adorable seeing him so shy, so flustered. And it all became clear. Jensen really did like you. You noticed all the things he would say and do, and it made sense.

Without hesitation, you moved your head and stared into his eyes, seeing the love filled beneath them. You smiled and dipped forwards, your lips catching his in the best first kiss you could ever ask for.

He gasped in surprise before his hand moved to the back of your head, deepening the kiss as much as he could. Kissing Jensen unlocked something inside of you, something you didn’t know was there. You felt love, real love. And safe.

Jensen broke the kiss, resting his forehead against yours, a bright smile on his lips. “Wow.”

You giggled and lifted your head, “Yeah, wow. Jesus Jensen, what were you waiting for?”

He frowned and shook his head, “The right moment I guess, a sign that you were into me.”

You laughed lightly, “Jensen, I have been into you since day 1. Since you laughed at my stupid intro about quoting Dean Winchester. I’ve liked you since than and never stopped but you never made a move.”

He shook his head at himself, if he knew that you had feelings for him, he would have acted sooner but he had no idea. He didn’t want to move too fast and scare you. He didn’t want to mess things up for the show, he loved working with you.

Suddenly, it clued in. Daisies. He tried, he really did. You frowned and pushed your head down, Jensens eyes worriedly staring back at you.

“Daisies.” You whispered, shaking your head.

He smiled and leaned closer, “Yup, Daisies.”

“I should have cancelled. I should have stayed.”

He shook his head, “No, I think this is how it needed to happen. I think we know eachother way better now, and feelings are stronger.”

You smiled and nodded, leaning close to kiss his lips. You could feel him smiling into the kiss and everything inside of you melted. “Thank you for choosing me.” You whispered

He pushed another kiss before his hands moved to your cheeks. “I’ll always choose you Y/N.”