#stop stigma

Image by Avert organization 

Speak up when you hear people saying ableist shit or use terms incorrectly and educate them it's wrong and can be hurtful, it's also not always our job to learn up other people but it is EVERYONE'S JOB to #STOPSTIGMA we should start this as a twitter tag and post photos of our selves with maybe our mental health journey if you want and to say we are human beings who deserve to be SEEN/HEARD TOO!!! anyone with me???

and now we ALL are aware that it is ok to be not ok.  

15th March. The Start. I was woken up very early, after another night of crying and trying to support Ryan. The night before he was supposed to be in work, I had walked there and bought him a coffee to surprise him and make him feel a little bit more positive. I was waiting for around 30 mins, and then I got a message off him telling me he had been let out of work early and he was at home. I was curious about why and how I had managed to miss him leaving, but I decided not to dwell too much. I ran home and he was outside, looking quite ill and tired. I asked him if he had been drinking and he said no. We sat and cried for a while about how hard his addiction was getting and then went to bed. Ryan woke up early the next day because he was supposed to go to a convention with work. He had a bath, and woke me up so we could have a morning cigarette. As we were sat talking, he told me he needed to tell me something, but not to be mad. I had this unreal sense of anxiety wash over me. I immediately suspected the worst, especially after how deceptive my ex’s have been. He told me that he hadn’t been going to work, and that he wasn’t going to the convention either. My anxiety started to subside slightly, this wasn’t the news I was bracing myself for, so I guess it wasn’t too bad. He told me that he had been drinking the days he was supposed to be in work. I was a little disappointed, especially because I’m working so hard at the moment to make ends meet, but again, this wasn’t the worst news. I couldn’t even shout at him, he was so vulnerable, almost childlike. It was a side of Ryan I have never really seen. He was of complete sound mind and everything he was saying was almost rehearsed. He told me that this wasn’t the life he wanted and that he was going to stop drinking. I think that was the biggest shock. He was so upbeat about it and so positive, it was like a new lease of life had been injected into him after making this decision. He told me he had been speaking to his Dad about what was going on and was given some sound advice about going to AA. We spoke to his Dad on the phone later on that day, we found him a meeting somewhere close to where we lived, and decided that as long as ‘This moment right now’ for ‘every moment’ that he didn’t have a drink of alcohol in his hand, he was winning. It has been quite a daunting task for him. He has only been to less than a handful of meetings so far, and it hasn’t been without its bumps in the road, but we are getting somewhere. Moment by moment. The positivity sways every now and then, and we have small rows about the fact he feels very conflicted and almost like he feels he has made a mistake wanting to quit drinking. But overall, things have been good.