#stink bombs

216. We are not allowed to throw stink bombs. Ever.

Why on earth did you go and ask for a clarification on this rule? - JP

I was trying to help! - PP

215. We are not allowed to throw stink bombs at unsuspecting students.

Well, if they were “suspecting” and knew the stink bomb was coming, where would the fun in that be? - SB

I’m pretty sure she meant that we’re not allowed to throw stink bombs ever. - PP

But did she SAY that? No. Therefore, we can’t be sure that’s what she meant. - SB

"Miko this is ridiculous." Koji muttered in bemusement, arms crossed firmly across his chest in protest.

"It's called fun. Try it sometime, Sir Grump." Miko retorted, poking her tongue out at him. "Now just shut up and watch! Trust me, you'll love this." She jumped up to grab onto the strap of the leather that held his greatsword to his back and used it to tug him down to her level. "Shh." She put her fingers to her lips then peeked around the corner. Koji grunted at the awkward posture he was forced into but he didn't question her unorthodox methods. He was used to being dragged around by this girl by now. 

Koji obliged to her order and pressed his lips together tightly, peering beyond the corner to the gathered group of strangely dressed Orlesians. This weeks fashion was puffy collars that covered their mouths so all they could do was muffle out words. Good. Maker he wanted to choke them all with their fancy lace.

Of all the places, she'd dragged him to Orlais. His most loathed location; Val Royeaux. The capital of douchebaggery. Koji Trevelyan should have been thrilled considering he was a noble and he should have thrived, feeling like he was at home or in his element yet he was far from it. He'd never once counted himself as a noble, he'd much rather be that 'asshole thug' Deborah Trevelyan, his so called mother in law, had deemed him. Asshole thug suited him just fine. So asshole thug was what he became. He was bloody great at it too.

His mood had soured at the condescending accents that floated around, his jaw had clenched at the frivolous and narcissistic nature of this godforsaken country. Quietly he ground his teeth together in murderous agitation. He hated Orlais. He hated nobility. Above all he hated The Game. There was no fun to be had here.

The colour stung at his eyes and in some places he scowled and recoiled away from it all, looking like a mercenary who was way out of his league; and that was only at the bright gold and blues of the city structures. Nevermind the horrendous dresses and masks that were so over the top he wanted to rip them away, if only to see the horror struck expressions behind for just a second. Now that would have been fun.

Instead he was waiting for something to happen with an odd Dalish elf who was bouncing in anticipation, "C'mon, c'mon." She grinned mischievously, tightening her grip on his chest strap, all this had achieved was him nearly falling on top of her. Lucky for her he'd caught himself onto the wall with one hand.

"Right. I get you're excited but do you really need to grip onto me like that?" He groaned, back starting to ache from the bent over position that was half crouch, half squat. 

"Here we go." She ignored him and pointed to the crowd.

The whizz of an arrow sounded out then suddenly the crowd was submerged in a puke greenish tinted gas. The nobles caught in the cloud all coughed and screeched loudly while the ones who'd managed to avoid were sent hobbling away and soon tripped due to the weight of their outfits. Miko giggled and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Is that poison?" Koji asked, briefly alarmed.

"Don't be stupid." Miko cackled, "It's just gas."

"Stink gas." Sera appeared, giggling that mad little giggle of hers. "That was bleedin' perfect aim that. Did you see them all scatterin'? Well good." She grinned a grin that matched Miko's and the two high fived.

Koji's mouth dropped, eyes darting from Miko to Sera. He knew they'd be a dangerous combination. Something told him Sera's influence with deadly mixtures had attracted his darlin' to her. Now they graced all of Skyhold with their schemes and pranks. "I'm guessing you're the reason I keep waking up with a dead fish under my pillow?" Both brows raised at the archer.

"Stop actin' like one and you'll stop findin' it there." Sera sniggered in response. "You're all serious all the time, big guy. You'd think someone shat in your armor everyday, or you talk to Solas too much. Talkin' to him puts a frown on my face too."

Koji shook his head lightly but felt the corner of his mouth tugging up the more he heard the nobles squeal and curse. Some wailed for the guards. Others bellowed angrily about getting stains out their clothes and how they were going to tell their parents. His favorite were the ones screeching that their day was utterly ruined and that the Breach was targeting them because it was jealous. As if it could feel. Those poor guardsman having to put up with them. 

The man dropped his guard and drew the two elves into his chest with strong arms, a rather devious smirk taking hold of his lips. "Girls.. My favorite little imps. Just how many of those do you have?"

Sera shared a look with Miko and the two brightened up, "Well well well, good to see you aren't all doom and gloom."

"Told you Sera!" Miko chirped. "We have a whole bag full, why?"

"Because Val Royeaux is about to experience a drastic weather change." Koji said wolfishly, "Hold onto your hats ladies and gents, it's about to get cloudy." 

Moments later the trio had positioned themselves on three different roofs that surrounded the main square, each with a hand full of stink bombs. With one distinct whistle all hell broke loose; the flasks battered down on the nobles rapidly, engulfing the entire square in rancid smelling clouds. Laughter from above was the last thing the nobles heard and since they never prepared for a second attack, the ones who had just got changed were sent into fits yet again by a bombardment on a larger scale.