#steddithan

They're both only half listening as Steve tries to convince them, Robin and Nancy to go to Dustin's birthday gokarting experience with the teens because he doesn't think he can handle it alone.

"Steve, you love driving and you literally keep unruly children in check for a living," Robin points out. "I don't see the issue here."

"Robin's right, this sounds like your idea of a great day out," Nancy adds.

"It's going to be hell," Steve argues. "Every single one of those kids has a knack for putting themselves in danger and now they're going to be behind the wheels of moving vehicles. Have you seen Max's driving?!"

He presses his hand to his head like he's getting a headache just thinking about it.

"And I'm going to have to wear a helmet, which is going to destroy my hair. You know that's my best feature! I'm like that Sadson guy from the bible, if you ruin my hair you ruin the whole thing."

Robin rolls her eyes. "It's Samson, Dingus."

"Also, I'm sorry to break it to you Steve, but your hair doesn't even make the top three." Nancy admits.

Steve looks at her like she's said something crazy.

"What else is it gonna be?"

"Lips, eyes and hands," Jonathan says absentmindedly.

"Ass, chest and thighs," Eddie says at the exact same time.

The room falls silent. Eddie and Johnathan's expressions remind Robin of when Steve sobered up after Starcourt and realised he'd given the Russian henchmen his best friend's personal information.

"Oh my god." Nancy says like she's trying to hold back her laughter.

Robin is silent for all of five seconds and then turns to point at a gobsmacked Steve.

Robin knows a secret of Steve’s, being that him and Eddie hooked up once years ago. For some reason though, Steve is acting supremely strange and secret-keeping, so she puts the pieces together. Steve and Eddie are still hooking up and keeping it secret. She doesn’t tell Steve she knows and she’s doing her damn best to avoid spilling to Nancy. However she’s so not subtle and keeps giggling constantly, so now Nancy is suspicious.

Now Nancy notices that Steve is off, and comes to the obvious conclusion. He’s hooking up with Jonathan. The two of them are a mess and trying desperately to hide it. She eventually brings it up to Robin who loses her absolute mind. They can’t agree on what the truth is and just kinda observe.

Ideally, they would use Robin, but she's a terrible actor and spends the whole time looking anxious and paranoid, defeating the purpose of being covert.

Nancy is great, but the situation is too awkward. The kids just raise more questions and want all their attention.

Which is how Jonathan finds himself, somehow, against his will, going on increasingly frequent outings with Steve and Eddie.

He hates it. He hates it so much. Jonathan hardly likes these two. Steve, at least, he has some kind of weird camaraderie with, even if he's annoying as hell. Eddie? Jonathan just doesn't like him. No real reason why, just because.

It doesn't help that they're both so bad at being subtle. They're constantly "sneaking" kisses and saying disgustingly sweet (and just plain disgusting) things way too loudly.