#steamingfidihealing

Had a beautiful, peaceful weekend filled with sunshine, swimming, good food and love! A stranger bought me a big planter of flowers and when he gave it to me he said that I was beautiful, he then walked away without wanting anything in return. I was so grateful. I made some hot cacao which was delicious and reached a new level of existence with my meditation. My stomach began to hurt more than it has in a while and I was struggling to even get the words out to my partner that I was in pain. I began to focus on my breath and take control of my body, within a few breaths I felt the pain leave my body with my exhales. I have never been able to breath my pain away like that before it was truly incredible as I have severe life long gut illnesses. I was also able to exist beyond my body in a meditation; my skin was one with the air around me, my body was like water with the air and I existed only as a mind or soul.

Steaming for te healing everyday.

Steaming for the healing.

I’m a little bit lost right now and unsure of what I want. Im always unsure of what I want, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I miss the sun on my skin and the ability to swim and float in the water without freezing. Existing is easier in the summer.

I’m falling backwards into the matrix. What’s crazy too is I’m aware that I’m falling back, yet I let it happen. Im actually wanting things that I fought so hard to stay away from. I’m betting on my own self destruction. I got tired and gave up. Everyday I wake up and don’t want to do the things that make me better, and every night I go to bed hating myself for not doing them. I can and will do better for myself. If anyone’s gonna treat me right it’s me. I need to come back home to myself.

There is no high with steaming cannabliss, only elevation. One with yourself, one with the universe.

Looking at the sky helps me ground myself.