#starting tasks

Me: I have issues starting tasks that aren't related to motivation

Dr: I sounds like you have a motivation issue.

Me: It's not motivation. I stare at a blank screen for hours trying to make my body move. It's like a physical disconnect, where the signals wont send. I have motivation, it doesn't matter.

Dr: Medication wont do the motivation for you, you know.

Me: I don't care about medication I want to know what's wrong with me.

Dr: Well you sound like you don't have any motivation.

With ADHD, sometimes starting a task is the hardest part of doing it. Personally, part of it is because I need time to anticipate a task before I can act on it, time to plan out what I'm going to do in my head.

Account for this! It's okay to need a little bit more time to do things - but be honest with yourself about that, and allow some time for it in your scheuldule when you are making plans.

However, it is crucial you set a finite amount of time, with something to alert you when that time is over. It may not be enough to say "first, I'll plan it out, then I'll do it." Give yourself a fixed amount of time, so that you can accurately anticipate the start of your task. For me, this means anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes.

For example: The past few mornings, i've had trouble getting up to get breakfast. That's because, when I pick up my phone, I start checking all my social media, half-interested, and hours can pass without me noticing. I would love to rely on my willpower and just not pick up my phone in the first place. But I know that, for me, that doesn't happen.

So instead, I gave myself a time limit. For me, this means I made a playlist - For me, music helps me stay aware that time is passing. It was just five songs, with the same song at the beginning and the end. (I figured it was more likely i'd notice thinking 'hey didn't i just play this?' than 'hey, this is the Get Up song.) I told myself, "you can check social media. But when song 1 plays again, then you need to start heading downstairs by the end of the song."

And it worked! I got up, I made something to eat, and I felt a lot better for having done that.

If music is too distracting for you, set a timer, or give yourself an activity to do that has a clear stopping point ("i will fold one origami crane and THEN get up", if you know how to do origami). The point is, it's important to have a signal to start the task - the clock reaching a time, a certain song ppaying, a previous task being done. That way, you can spend some time thinking, "okay, I am about to start a task. First, I will wait for the signal, and then I will start."

This also has helped me stop feeling bad about not being able to "just do" things. Knowing why it was difficult - and what I could do to make it a little easier - has allowed me to stop beating myself up for being "lazy" or incompetent, which I am not. It has also allowed me to explain what I need to others (but those topics deserve their own discussion).