#stakeouts

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“I do. I understand because I want him to believe in the possibilities of fairies, lake monsters—”

“Alligator,” she interrupted, glancing at him as she placed the next gift on top of the rolled out paper, and he narrowed his eyes at her, which caused her to laugh.

“Lake monsters,” he continued. “Aliens, Bigfoot, Chupacabra—”

“Oh, God, that story terrified him.”

“For a week,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, but feeling bad that he had made the story too real, William’s eyes huge as he listened.

“And he slept with us every night.”

“And you loved it.”

“I didn’t love the reason,” she said, the scissors in her hand sliding through the paper in one long fluid motion. “But I did like having him snuggled close, holding him as he slept. It reminded me of when he was a baby.”

“I know,” he said, smiling at her. “And I am sorry I scared him.”

“But…?” she prompted, looking at him as she began to wrap the paper around the rock tumbler they had gotten William for Christmas.

“But it was nice having him with us, hearing him breathing and watching him sleep. We slept that way for so long, it was like muscle memory.”

“I don’t want to say I miss those days, considering how hard it was to always be on the move, but I did like how it kept us close.”

“We still are,” he said and she gave him a look.

“You know what I mean. Hand me the tape, please.” He tore off a piece and gave it to her, repeating the process until the box was wrapped and she slid it to him for the bow. “Our lives have been much better these past three years. You’re free… we’ve put down roots in this house, a place I didn’t think we’d ever have when we were always on the run. But being here and living our lives, we’ve been able to stop worrying. So when our normally talkative son is suddenly quiet, it makes me feel that old sense of unease. ”

“Yeah,” he said with a nod, putting on the bow. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow when he and I are out on our annual Christmas shopping trip.”

“Good. Thank you,” she said with a sigh, lifting another package onto the table. “Just a few more to finish and we can go to bed.”

“I’m here for any and all of your bow sticking needs,” he replied and this time she threw a green bow at him.

_______________

December 21st

Mulder and William left yet another store in the small mall by their home without finding a gift for Scully or Maggie, who would be joining them for Christmas. Nothing Mulder suggested met his approval, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders as he looked around, but did not seem to see the items in the store.

Recognizing that they were not going to get anywhere, Mulder suggested taking a break and getting something from the food court. William perked up and they headed in that direction, Mulder planning to use that moment to have a chat with him.

They sat down with a large cinnamon roll, two large milks, a huge stack of napkins, four forks and two knives. After William had dropped his fork twice during recent trips, Mulder always grabbed extras to avoid the need to leave him alone at the table to get a replacement.

Cutting William a large piece, he placed it onto a plate and allowed him to then cut it into bite sized pieces, watching him smile when he had done it on his own.

“I think we might have better luck finding something for Mommy and Grandma after we eat this, what do you think?”

“Yeah,” William said, chewing a bite, frosting on his mouth. Mulder smiled as he took his own bite, handing William a napkin.

“Bud,” Mulder said, diving in with his questions. “Mommy and I have noticed that you’re kind of quiet lately. You okay? Feeling alright?”

“Yeah,” William answered with a sigh.

“You sure? Nothing’s on your mind at all?” He pushed a little, wanting to help if he could. William sighed again and put down his fork.

Oh, Mulder thought. It’s serious…

“The other day I was looking at that book Grandma gave me last Christmas. The one about the stars and planets.”

“Okay,” Mulder said, wiping his hands on a napkin and nodding his head.

“And… I was thinking about what you told me about them when she gave it to me. How there are so many planets and stars and who knows what else is really out there.”

“Okay,” Mulder said again, thinking he was beginning to understand.

“I was looking at the book and I thought about aliens and the planets and… do you think they all live on one planet? Are aliens even real? If they are, do they all speak the same language or do you think there are different alien languages? We speak English, but my friend at school, Carla, speaks English and Spanish. And on the Miracle on 34th Street movie, Santa talks to that little girl in… in Dutch. If the earth has so many languages, do you think aliens do too? And what do you think the languages are?

William stopped for a breath and Mulder blinked his eyes, opening his mouth to say what... he was not sure, when William began to speak again.

“And do you think the stars we always see are the only stars in the world? Do we all see the same stars no matter where we live? Do you think that when it’s night here and day in other places that the stars just stop glowing or are they always glowing, but the sun is so much brighter than the moon, that we don’t see it? ‘Cause sometimes, the moon is out when it’s daytime, but you can’t see it as well as at night, and that’s weird.”

Again, Mulder attempted to speak, but William kept talking.

“Do you think we will ever see a star up close? Like in a rocket ship? Do you think a star is really hot like the sun, or maybe it’s a cold hot? It looks hot, but when you touch it it’s cold? I know stars are hot, but what if they were cold? Wouldn’t that be so interesting, Daddy? And we could travel to them, and we could touch them to see if they are cold or not. I wonder if you could stand on a star. But if it's pointy, it might be hard to do it. Not like a cloud. I know you can’t stand on a cloud because it’s mostly air and even if it looks like we could lay down on them, we would fall right through. Mommy told me that when I said clouds would be nice to lay on because they’re so fluffy, like cotton candy. Do you think you would like to sit on a cloud or a star, Daddy? I think a star because…” He smiled and Mulder shook his head at the sheer amount of words that had just poured out of his son’s mouth. “When Mommy told me about the clouds, I was in the hammock with her and she said it probably felt the same way a cloud would feel, because being in the hammock is kind of like floating. Mommy is really smart, so if it is like being in the hammock, then I already know how that feels. But I would really like to touch a star or stand on one to see how it feels. What do you think, Daddy?”

William stared at him, his blue eyes shining and his cheeks pink from the exertion of speaking, the warmth of the mall, and the excitement of his thoughts that he had just shared.

“Wow… what do I think?” Mulder laughed slightly and then put his hand on William’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. “I think that you, William Scully Mulder, are an amazing kid. Do you know how many people never ever would even consider thinking those thoughts? And here you are, at six years old, thinking such amazing things in your head.”

“I’m six and a half, Daddy,” he said with a smile.

“That you are,” he said, patting his cheek gently and then moving his hand. “That you are. Have you been thinking about all of that for the past couple of days?”

“Yeah,” William said with a nod.

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

“I don’t know. I was trying to form a hypothesis.”

“Oh. Well now, that’s a word you learned from your Mommy,” Mulder said, smiling at him as he cut a bite of cinnamon roll, William smiling and nodding at him.

“She said it’s like a guess. But it’s about something pacific.”

“Specific,” Mulder said with a chuckle. “And yes it is. So, what were you hypothesizing?”

“I was thinking of the things I just told you,” he replied, cutting into his piece of cinnamon roll.

“Right,” Mulder said, smiling at him and then he nodded. “So your hypothesis is that aliens might exist, they may or may not speak several languages, and that stars could possibly be cold?”

“Yeah,” William said, smiling as he chewed a large bite.

“An excellent hypothesis, I’d say. Especially the bit about the star. I think a cold star would be an amazing discovery. So, how do you suppose you could prove your ideas?”

“I don’t know, Daddy,” he said with a deep sigh, poking at his cinnamon roll. “We can’t fly up in a rocket ship and I don’t know where we could find aliens.”

“Well, I happen to know that there are places to find aliens, or more importantly, that there are times to wait and hope to see an alien,” Mulder said and watched William’s eyes widen.

“Is that true, Daddy?” he whispered, as he leaned forward, a piece of cinnamon roll falling off his fork, and Mulder grinned slowly.

“It is true, bud.”

“Can we go? Can we try to… I just want to see them though, Daddy. I don’t… will they be nice? Not mean?”

“Yes,” Mulder said, ruffling his hair, knowing full well they would not see anything anyway. “We can just see them if that’s all you want. Now, how about we finish this and find gifts for Mom and Grandma?”

“Okay, Daddy,” William said, shoving another bite into his mouth.

___________

“He said all of that?” Scully asked Mulder later that evening as they sat on their screened-in porch, a fire dying out, watching the falling snow and drinking a glass of wine.

“Scully, I swear, in six and a half years, I’ve never heard him say so much in one sitting. It was like… I don’t know,” Mulder said, shaking his head. “But it was more than the words, it was the thoughts he had been holding onto. Huge thoughts which he expressed so well and articulately. I was absolutely blown away.”

“We talked about the clouds when we were in the hammock in… August, I think,” she mused with a quiet sigh. “That means he’s had it simmering in there all this time. Thinking about how he’s basically floated on a cloud, because we laid in the hammock when it was windy. God, Mulder…” She looked at him and shook her head. He could see tears in her eyes and he reached for her hand.

“He’s an amazing kid,” he said, gently squeezing her fingers.

“He used the word hypothesis…” she said, shaking her head again and chuckling as she wiped her eyes. “Read and looked at books, the sky and stars, called up memories and began to analyze what it meant to him. I… I don’t know if I've ever felt so proud. He’s got a scientific mind.”

“Taking after his mama,” he said, kissing her fingers.

“Seems only fair as I am the one who gave birth to him,” she said with a smile. “But he also is so much like you. Being unable to stop talking at times? Head full of so many ideas that they are veering off here and there? That’s definitely you.” She squeezed his hand and he chuckled softly.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a nod and they were silent for a couple of minutes, the snow falling steadily.

“I told him we would try and see an alien,” he said softly and she turned her head to look at him.

“What? Mulder… it’s Christmas.”

“Which is why I told him December 23rd was the best night to wait and see if we can.”

“Why the 23rd?” she asked with a smile.

“A few reasons. One, so we had a day to prepare and make a plan. Two, your mom is arriving the morning of the 24th and I don’t think she would enjoy sitting out in the cold later that night, hoping for the chance to spot an alien.” He grinned and she nodded with a chuckle.

“Quite right.”

“Third, I told him that the 24th was when Santa was out and he and the aliens had made an agreement years ago to not get in each other's way on that night. Seeing that Santa flies through the sky on his way to deliver so many gifts to so many children, he didn’t want to chance being hit by a spaceship. Likewise, he didn’t want to get in their way as they were out exploring the skies, so they made their agreement.”

“Fox Mulder,” she whispered with a smile. “How is it possible that I could find you even more attractive?”

“I know. It’s hard to believe but…” he replied with a shrug and she got out of her chair, climbing into his lap and kissing him deeply.

“Thank you,” she whispered, hugging him and sighing. “For including both beliefs, for keeping the Christmas magic alive and adding your own spin to it.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, holding her close. “I do what I can.” She laughed and whispered in his ear, causing his eyes to widen as he pushed her to her feet, rising with her.

On their way to their room, she stopped outside of William’s door.

“I just want to see him real quick,” she whispered and he smiled in understanding. Turning the knob silently, they walked into the room.

William was sleeping on his back with his mouth open and his arm hanging off the bed. The room was lit with a soft white glow from the small Christmas tree sitting on his dresser, ornaments he had claimed as his own,  hanging from it.

Around the tree were the deer, bear, and pair of foxes they had taken from a cabin in Tennessee where they had spent their first Christmas together. Every animal was well loved and missing fur in some spots, but they were a family favorite. Every year they were the first decorations unpacked as they were always the last to be packed away, William sad to see them go.

“He’s such a beautiful boy,” Scully whispered, gently brushing his hair back and running her fingers over his head as he turned toward the wall and sighed deeply.

She smiled at him, bent to kiss his head, and looked at the animals around the tree, catching Mulder’s eye as she did.

“Worth every penny,” she whispered and he nodded with a smile, thinking the fifty dollars they had spent on four small forest animals had paid for itself many times over.

Walking quietly out of William’s room, they closed the door behind them, and continued down the hall to their bedroom.

_______________

December 23rd 8:30 p.m.

“You’re warm enough?” Mulder asked as he set up the telescope he had found in the basement, and William nodded excitedly.

“Daddy, do you think we’re going to see a UFO?”

“I don’t know, kiddo. Maybe,” Mulder said with a smile. “All we can do is try, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Will, could you come help me with the chairs?” Scully called out.

She was standing by the back of the car they had loaded with camping chairs, heavy blankets, a box of doughnuts, two thermoses of hot chocolate, and extra clothes in case they would be needed. Sleeping bags had been added as well, just in case a sleeping area would be needed.

They were parked in a field near their house, no one else around as they were smartly inside where it was warm. Snow covered the ground, but was not too deep. It was the perfect spot for them to spend what he knew would probably be no more than maybe an hour and a half, William most likely falling asleep as it was already past his bedtime.

“Yes, Mommy! I’m coming!” he called back to her, Mulder smiling as he watched him running over in his snow boots and puffy coat.

Fiddling with the knobs on the telescope, wearing his glasses even though they kept fogging up in the cold weather, knowing what was in focus without glasses, would be blurry to William. When he had it right, he stepped back with a grin and nodded, taking off his glasses and putting them away.

“If you give Daddy the chair,” Scully said as they walked up, looking over at Mulder with a smile. “Will, you can go get the blankets and bring them over.”

“Okay. Here you go, Daddy.” He gave the camping chair to Mulder and ran back to the car.

“He’s really excited,” Scully said. “I am too, truth be told. Stakeouts, snacks… and, well not coffee, but hot chocolate… it feels like old times.”

“I knew you missed it,” he said, taking the chair from its bag, opening it, and setting it down in the snow, tying the bag to the frame of the chair.

“I didn’t say that,” she laughed. “But… this is fun.”

The chairs arranged, William came back with the blankets and set them down on a chair, as Scully walked back to get the food and drinks.

“Come here, Will,” Mulder said, helping him to look in the eyepiece and asking him what he saw.

“The stars,” he said softly. “They’re so bright.” He looked at Mulder and grinned.

They all sat down in their chairs, eating doughnuts and drinking hot chocolate, William getting up many times to look through the telescope, Mulder and Scully sharing smiles as he did.

“What if we don’t see one tonight?” William asked, looking at Mulder with a yawn, about a half an hour later.

“Well, that’s what’s great about research, kiddo, you keep trying,” Mulder said and William walked over to him, standing in front of him with his hands on Mulder’s arms.

“But… I wanted to see them tonight,” he said quietly, playing with the cuff of Mulder’s coat sleeve, his lip wobbling as he tried not to cry.

“Oh, I know you did, Bud.” He pulled him into his lap and hugged him, hearing him crying softly into his neck. Scully looked at him with a concerned look and he smiled, knowing how he could change the sad moment. “Do you know how many nights I’ve spent waiting and looking for UFOs and aliens, Will?”

“No,” came his muffled reply and Mulder smiled.

“So many. I started from about the time I was your age. I would wait and wait and so many times I would see absolutely nothing. But then sometimes, there was just the tiniest bit of evidence and that’s all I needed to keep looking. And look at me now.” He leaned back and smiled at William. “I’m old now, much older than you, but I still believe one day I will see a UFO or have an alien cross my path.”

“You really think you will?”

“No actually, I think we will,” Mulder said, wiping William’s cheeks. “Maybe not tonight, but one day.” William stared at him and then nodded with a sigh.

“I think we will too,” he said, cuddling into Mulder with a sniff and Mulder smiled, rubbing his back.

A clicking sound made him look up and he saw Scully taking pictures with their digital camera. He nodded, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath and let it out, looking up at the starry sky.

William remained on Mulder’s lap, listening to stories of nights his mommy and daddy had spent in forests looking for phenomena in nature. Within minutes he was asleep, Scully taking more pictures of them, kissing William’s forehead and smiling at Mulder.

“He made it longer than I thought he would,” she said softly and Mulder smiled with a nod, looking down as he slept.

“God, he’s so big,” Mulder said, brushing his cheek against William’s forehead. “He is and he isn’t, you know? When he’s sitting on my lap like this, he seems like he’s made up of exceptionally long arms and legs.”

“I know what you mean. Sometimes I see my little boy and sometimes he’ll look at me or stand a certain way and I can only see you in miniature.” She smiled at him and he nodded.

“But not yet,” he whispered to her.

“No. Not yet,” she whispered back, rubbing her hand across William’s puffy jacket. “You want to go home?”

“A few more minutes more,” he said softly, staring down at William again.

“Okay,” she agreed, taking a blanket and covering them, Mulder pulling it around William as he shifted slightly.

Scully moved her chair closer to them, covering her bottom half with a blanket. Laying her head on Mulder’s arm, she placed her hand on top of Mulder’s blanket, rubbing William’s leg gently.

“Just a few minutes, Scully,” Mulder promised and she hummed quietly.

“There’s no hurry, Mulder. We’ve got time.”

“For everything,” he agreed with a sigh, kissing the top of her head as he wished time could be captured and held, keeping them frozen forever in one perfect solitary moment.

________________

December 24th

A muffled shout was heard early in the morning, waking Mulder with a grunt, his eyes flying open as he sat up quickly, breathing hard. Scully hummed out a moan and then she sat up.

“What… what was that?” she asked and he shook his head.

“I think it was William,” he said and they both sprang up, opening their door and running down the hall to his bedroom.

Opening the door, they hurried in, looking around quickly for any type of threat, before looking at William who was standing in front of his dresser holding something in each of his hands.

“Honey, are you okay?’ Scully asked, breathing hard, a hand at her chest.

“Mommy! Daddy! Look! I think it might be from the aliens!” He grinned as he showed them what he was holding: two small, shiny beanie type yellow stars. Stars! And when I picked them up, they were cold!”

“Are you serious?” Mulder asked, reaching out his hand and William placed a star into it.

“Does it feel cold to you, Daddy?” William whispered, staring up at him expectantly.

“I think it just might,” Mulder said, nodding with a smile. “I think you may have a star that’s like the ones they see all time. This is an amazing gift.”

“I know!” William said, taking the star back and staring at it.

Smiling at him, he glanced at Scully, finding her eyes on him as she shook her head with a smile, beginning to figure out what he had done.

William showed the stars to Scully and then took the animals down, playing with all of them together, which gave Scully a chance to step over to Mulder. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she smiled up at him, and shook her head.

“Always full of surprises, you are…” she said and he nodded.

“Gotta keep the belief in the fantastic alive as long as possible,” he said, gripping gently onto her upper arms and smiling at her.

“Could not agree with you more,” she whispered, tilting her head and silently asking for a kiss.

Scully bought him crosswords and mysteries, brownies and travel games, ice tea and tacos but in the end, he was a fucking fidgety mess of t-shirt and jeans; a leg-jiggling, wheel-kneeding, whining little pain in the God-damned ass.

Then he found a stray pen, ballpoint, blue, Bic, basic ‘buy a thousand, lose a thousand, borrow and never return’ average writing utensil.

And she was asleep.

Dash clock glowing 1:27am, she slept with head tilted and arms on the rests. It wasn’t stuffy in the car, the windows were cracked at least, but she was down to very short shirt sleeves and the sight of that much bare Scully in one place with no one to stop his greedy looks, made him crazy.

Stupid, actually, but whatever, it was late and he was untethered to decorum.

Freckles.

Lots of freckles.

He adored her freckles possibly more than her knees and that one, beautiful pantsless day they spent on his couch. He’d think about that one later, possibly and probably around 2:15 or so but first, he had a glorious mission involving the pigmented perfection sprinkled across her limbs.

He drew constellations on her.

He connected dot one to freckle two to oval splotch three and soon, Orion appeared near the rounded curve of her joint.

He was a fucking goner at this point, tracing the Southern Cross next, followed by Gemini, the Big Dipper and in a feat that made him giggle in glee, he found Virgo.

Caught up in his work, he, without sensical thought to death and dismemberment, shifted carefully, leaning over to reach her other arm. To the rest of the world, had they been peaking in the vehicle, would have thought he was stealing a kiss in the inky blackness of night.

She opened her eyes instead, oddly not as shocked at his position as she should be.

“Mulder.”

Red-handed, pen in digital poised to trace Leo on her second still-blank canvas, he looked up slowly, mouth smiling crooked, tongue out in concentration …

Seriously, if an apology didn’t happen in the next three seconds, she was going to poke his eye out and she didn’t even know what he’d done yet.

“You totally have a Casseiopia on your cheek. Do you mind?”