#squidded

don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms by squidded (@chromatophorica)

Buddie | 8k | Mature

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When the front door slammed shut, Buck wasn’t sure who he was expecting to appear in the Grant home he was visiting. It wasn’t like Bobby to make such an entrance and Athena, while temperamental, wasn’t particularly one to let her anger show unless tragedy had struck. As far as Buck knew, the only tragedy Athena had lately was her mother visiting.

Before he had the time to come up with tragic situations to stress him out, May stomped down the stairs, tossed her backpack onto the floor, and threw herself onto the couch. She pressed her face into one of the decorative pillows and Buck heard her scream even through the thick fabric and fluff.

He glanced around the kitchen awkwardly, unsure if he should say something so that May knew he was there or continue to watch her kick her feet and pound her fists against the couch cushions so she could presumably get whatever had angered her out. He chose the latter when she sighed heavily and sniffled, a clear indication that tears were on the horizon.

“Uh, May? Are you—” Before he could finish his question, May lept up from the couch, clutching at the pillow she had been screaming into like a weapon. “Sorry, sorry,” Buck repeated, holding his hands up in defense, “I wasn’t sure if you knew I was here.”

“Mom said you might be but I forgot,” May explained. She dropped the pillow back onto the couch behind her and smiled sheepishly over at Buck. “But I’m here now so I’ve got Harry until my mom gets home.”

Buck nodded and stood up, grabbing his coat that hung from behind his chair. When he glanced back over to say goodbye to May, she was avoiding eye contact but Buck could still see the red rims of her eyes and the gloss of emotion that coated them.

“Do you— I’m here, you know, if you ever need to talk,” Buck said taking a few cautious steps forward. “I know I’m not quite your friend but I’ve, uh, been through a lot of shit so I can always lend an ear if you want.”

May shook her head and said, “It’s nothing, really. Just— These girls at school who seem to love spreading rumors about the cop’s daughter.”

“Ah,” Buck nodded, “the wonderful world of high school drama."

“Yeah, that.” May let out a wet laugh and covered her face with her hands. Buck saw the first tear fall before she could truly hide, though. On instinct, he moved closer, sitting beside her on the couch and placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. The touch seemed to do exactly the opposite of what Buck wanted as May burst into tears.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Buck cooed, pulling her closer and maneuvering her face into his shoulder to catch the tears. “I’m sorry, May, I didn’t mean to—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Buck. I’m sorry, I’m just— No one ever prepared me for how mean teenage girls can be,” May said through her sobs.

“Don’t I know it,” Buck agreed. At May’s questioning look, Buck sent her a small smile. “It wasn’t that long ago that I was a teenager, May,” he explained.

“Well, you weren’t a girl,” May retorted.

Buck bit down on his lip and simply stared at the girl beside him. He knew he had two choices; try to sympathize with her as an adult man and probably get nowhere, or tell her the truth. He had barely told anyone in L.A. about his past but there was something in May’s tear-filled eyes that told Buck he could trust her.

“I was, back then.” May’s eyes widened and she tilted her head in question, but Buck didn’t see any judgment in her eyes. “I’m, uh, trans—transgender. When I was your age, I was still presenting as female and only my best friends and my sister knew who I really was. So, yeah,” Buck hesitated, “I know what you’re going through more than, well, most.”

“I didn’t know,” May whispered after a few moments of silence. Buck nodded, unsure of what else to say. Apparently, he didn’t have to say anything. “There’s this girl, Tiffany. She told the entire school that since my dad is gay now, that must mean my mom is a lesbian. They… insinuated that means I am, too.” May glanced up at Buck quickly and elaborated, “Not that I have any problem with it or anything, I just—”

“Don’t worry, May,” Buck reassured, squeezing her shoulder gently, “I know you’re not that kind of person. But still, it sucks when rumors are spread about you that don’t have any truth to them.”

“That’s not it…” May admitted, veering her attention to the coffee table and biting down on her own lip. “I, uh, I don’t know what I am but… I told Tiffany that I wanted to kiss her. She told the entire school.”

“And do you?” Buck asked, leaning his head forward to try and grab May’s attention again. “Do you want to kiss her?”

May scoffed, “Not after she told the entire school. I don’t even know what to say when people ask if I’m— gay. I don’t know and I have too much on my plate to think about it.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, May. For the longest time, people suspected that I was gay.”

May sent him a look and clearly stated, “Aren’t you?”

“I’m— something. I’m trans, that much I am sure of. I knew when I was pretending to be a girl that I wasn’t and others used that as fuel to add to the fire underneath me. I wore baggy t-shirts and I was accused of hiding my boobs, I wore gym shorts and was accused of hiding a— well, you know.” May laughed and Buck was glad to hear it. “I was into women but I wasn’t gay because I wasn’t a girl. I was into guys but I wasn’t straight because I was born a girl. There wasn’t much verbiage for it when I was your age,” Buck explained.

“Bisexual. Or— pansexual,” May provided with a soft smile.

“I personally like queer but that’s all it is—a personal part of you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or some big coming out because you wanted to kiss the wrong girl. I kissed a lot of wrong people before—” Buck blushed and averted his eyes but the damage was already done. May eyed him suspiciously and just when he thought she would pry, she sighed instead.

“I know I don’t owe it to them, but I kind of feel like I owe it to myself,” May decided. “I’m— not straight but not labeled.”

“That’s enough of an explanation for me,” Buck said. May smiled up at him before wrapping her arms around him and pressing her face into the crook of his neck. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” May said softly, “I think I will be. It’s nice, you know? Having people around me to talk to who actually understand. I’m glad that you’re around.” Buck’s heart absolutely melted.

“Yeah, well, I’m glad I’m around, too,” Buck said.

"It isn't what it looks like...okay, maybe...maybe it is."

"Thank you for that attempt, Chim, but it is most definitely what it looks like," Hen said, a gleeful grin stretched wide on her face.

Buck and Eddie looked at each other; Buck's face was tinged rather red with embarrassment and Eddie looked vaguely satisfied with himself despite the compromising position.

"If by 'what it looks like' you mean 'getting a jump start on closet inventory,' then you'd be correct," Buck said, eyes looking everywhere except at Hen and Chimney.

"I wasn't aware we stocked the replacement gauze pads between Eddie's legs," Hen said smugly; Buck's face flushed darker.

"Syringes, too," Eddie added flatly without batting an eye.

.

"Can you please stop for five seconds?"

At the commanding tone of her voice, much like the one she used on him when he was doing something he shouldn't as a child, Buck froze in place as his sister caught up to him.

"I know you're excited about your date tonight, but do we really have to run a marathon all over the mall?" Maddie asked as she adjusted Jee-Yun's sling around her torso. Lucky for them both, her daughter was sound asleep.

"Everything has to be perfect, Maddie. I don't want anything to mess this up." Buck slouched as he and Maddie walked a slower pace, her sister's arm going around his waist.

"It wouldn't matter if you wore your old gym shorts or a three piece Armani suit. Eddie is choosing you for you. Nothing is going to change that." Maddie reminded him.

Buck huffed a breath as he felt his cheeks and ears flush. "Maybe skip the bread?"

the reason that i'm hanging on by squidded (@chromatophorica)

Buddie + Evan Buckley & Maddie Buckley | 5k | Teen

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” he knows that voice instantly, and while it loosens some of the dread in his gut, it still spikes his anxiety. He’d rather it wasn’t Maddie on the line with him, just as much as he’s thankful to hear her voice.

“Hey, Mads.” His voice is strained, a little shaky from the pain, but he’s sure she hears him from the intake of breath. “I’m kinda—I’m stuck. My radio is—I can’t reach it.” He hears Maddie take a breath, steadying herself on the other end of the line.

“Okay, Firefighter Buckley,” ah, they’re going for professional detachment, “I’ll patch through 118, try and stay on the line.” It’s not like he’s going to go anywhere.

my mind feels like a foreign land by squidded

Buddie | 41k | Mature

Most of the time he’s fine, most of the time it doesn’t really bother him, especially since he’s been able to ignore it most of his life. But becoming a first responder meant there was a little more interaction with those on the brink of death and those who succumb to it. It was harder to ignore when he was trying to save the people in the first place.

But he’s not good at this part, the moving on part. Maddie was the one who got the guidance from Grandma, who’d gotten the ‘special education’. Evan, meanwhile, had made the snap judgement to try and get some measure of approval from their mother and declared that he had no idea what they were talking about.

Not that it worked.

It was fine until Devon. Devon who Buck almost saved, Devon who was frozen in terror, Devon who had taken to haunting Buck.

--- Buck & Maddie can see spirits; not that Buck ever told anyone he could. As he settles more into firefighting, Buck's quickly realising that ignoring them isn't going to work anymore.

Inspired by made your mark on me, a golden tattoo by @chromatophorica

“You’ll stay?” The meekness terrifies him a little, the fact that she sounds so lost and small. It’s never been the Taylor he knows, and he hates that she’s suffering like this.

“I’m not going anywhere.” It’s a promise, something that he’ll assure her of, no matter how many times he needs to say it. “I’m going to go downstairs and get the tea, then we’ll get you soaking and relaxed, okay?” He knows that the first step to feeling better is usually getting rid of that hospital feel. Taylor’s still got some soot in her hair, still has the sterile smell of the hospital clinging to her.