#source: oathem

Vampirekin as in supply for a Cluster B disorder.

Vampirekin as in my never-ending need for supply and attention makes me akin to a parasite. It never feels like enough; I always need more.

Vampirekin as in I feel like I’m dying when I go for so long without any sort of supply (attention, etc.). It feels like I’m suffocating. I become more unstable and irritable. I feel myself more prone to lashing out and wanting to rip people to shreds over the smallest inconvenience.

Vampirekin as in, once I finally do get what I need (although fleeting), I feel unstoppable. My perspective completely shifts—it’s as if the world is amazing again and as if I can finally tolerate others’ presence more. I finally feel charismatic and energetic again.

Vampirekin is it’s a vicious cycle. I’m constantly starved of what I need. My needs are underestimated or dismissed, so I end up silently struggling until I reach my limit. I feel like a corpse and like I can hardly get anything done when I’m deprived. All I want to do is sleep, but I’m always tired and exhausted regardless. People will say “we spent time together last week/but we did this together”, as if one “feeding” is enough to last me the rest of my life. It feels like someone saying “you had breakfast yesterday, so why are you still hungry?” in response to my needs.

Vampirekin is being opportunistic out of need for survival. If I wasn’t, I would wither away. If I see a way in order to get supply from someone, I will. I will mold and transform myself into what I need to be in order to get their attention and admiration.

Vampirekin is the possessiveness and obsession. Once I do find someone worthy of my devotion, I can’t get myself to see them as equal. They’re more akin to a beloved pet. My possession. I want them to do as I please and never leave. It’s not as if I would deliberately mistreat them however.

Vampirekin is slowly draining the life from my “victims”. It’s not even on purpose most of the time. I try to starve myself until the last moment. I try to repress my cravings. I try to act human for them. But I can’t. I’m a burden to them—I’m a parasite. I take and I take, and I need and I need; someone can only give me so much. Their patience grows thin, and their “empathy” dwindles; their energy and any form of attachment they had to me dissipates. I didn’t mean to feed from them. It’s not as if I want to. It’s not as if it’s for pleasure. I’d die without it, yet my body cannot seem to supply itself. I have to get it from others. It’s like a human’s need for water—they can only go for so long without it. If they’re without it for too long, they start to lose themselves mentally—the body no longer can function.

Vampirekin is I’m a monster and a pest in the eyes of many. My motives and feelings are misconstrued, and people project their own presumptions onto me. I am told I am unable to love and to feel. I am told I am undeserving of being loved and “saved”. I am treated as irredeemable and a blot upon the earth. I am treated as if I’m out to get people. I am avoided and outcast. People speak of “warning signs” that indicate when a creature such as I may be nearby. People are advised to take precautions in case they encounter something such as me.

Vampirekin is I am evil for trying to survive. It’s resenting humans for their mistreatment of me. It’s wanting to lash out and seek vengeance. It’s resenting people for making me into what I am. It’s envying the love and attention that I will never be deemed worthy of—because I’m not “human” enough in their eyes.

Vampirekin is being Cluster B.

Oh, thank you for the question. I’m assuming you mean yan/landmine spaces (correct me if I’m wrong)? I don’t usually see too many Otherkin or systems around, but to be fair I don’t go in the tags often.

I haven’t been writing much lately since I’ve been so burnt out.

Thank you for giving me a reason to ramble about my kintype(s) though

We have quite a few kintypes (and some we’re questioning), but I’ll go with dragonkin for this question:

Assuming I’m in the wilderness, I think I honestly would just nap in the sun or maybe even walk around the forest. Maybe even scavenging for new stuff to add to my hoard. I don’t know too much about my dragon kintype, but I do know it’s a black western dragon (2 wings, 4 legs). Likely that it has green eyes. I’d say medium or average size? Like, not small but not large. Maybe around the second story of a house (when sitting)? Not that good of an estimation, I know. I’m unsure if my kintype can speak, but I feel like it does. I wouldn’t be immediately aggressive towards humans, but I would certainly prefer other creatures over them. If they come to me for advice or wisdom? That’s fine, I’ll give them the best answer I can. If they come to steal from me? Then I think I have the right to defend myself.

I’m certain I can breathe fire, but I don’t feel I use(d) it often for some reason? Only using it if necessary as to not potentially light part of the forest on fire. Something like that.

Maybe I could fly around a bit as well? I feel I would definitely lounge in the sun for most of the day though (I know, boring 💔 but lizard brain desires warmth). No “kidnapping princesses” or ravaging cities (that is a stereotype after all). One nitpick I have is that “dragon’s hoard for wealth” stereotype— perhaps some do, but I built my hoard fair-and-square. Maybe some of it is stolen, but a lot of it is scavenged and what I found on my own. I couldn’t care less about the imaginary monetary value humans have assigned to it. If I were hoarding for wealth, I may as well steal a fucking building or cybertruck while I’m at it, right? You don’t see X-ray machines and medical equipment in dragon hoards. Why? Because they’re fucking UGLY (/lh /nay). It is just my personal opinion though. I collect things because they’re pretty and shiny. If they are allegedly expensive, then so be it—not like I’m going to invest in stocks with it anytime soon. Oh yes, hello bank teller, it is me—ancient dragon—I’ve come here to make a deposit with my ancient, stolen jewels. Surely you can calculate their assigned value in no time—- BLOODY UNLIKELY. I have random chains just because they look pretty—for all I know, they’re worth nothing. I like to craft things as well, so I have random ribbons and threads as well.

I don’t know if I could, but it’d also be nice to have a “garden hoard”—if that’s how I word it. I grow all the vegetables and plants I’d like. Whatever rare and obscure seeds I can get ahold of as well. I like the idea of having a hoard of seeds and plants that I take care of. Don’t know how well I’d be able to cook with it, but I could certainly use it (or give it to nature).

I’ve also considered the idea of “hoarding people”—I have seen this sentiment around before, so I know it’s not just me. I of course get possessive over those I deem “mine”. I don’t know how to explain it. Once my brain has deemed them worthy of being associated with me, I sort of latch onto them. My brain goes “this is mine now” and I pick them up like a mother cat and plop them in my hoard /lh. I feel my cluster B and other disorders certainly have a lot of overlap with my Otherkin & therian identities (and vice versa). Like, yeah, unfortunately I’m a possessive, envious, and conceited bitch—is it because I’m a dragon or because I’m a narcissist? (probably both) /lh

I’m assuming the emojis are an anon sign off, so I’ve added it to the list on my pinned post.

ask game used

Thank you so much for the ask! I don’t believe I’ve gotten one in a while 🫶✨

orchid: are you more submissive, dominant, or both? where do you lean more, and why? what feels good about the part that you lean into?

I prefer to be the dominant one in relationship :). He can’t take care of himself too well, so I do it for him ✨ like a beloved pet. I like the idea of “owning” him in a way. Of course, I’m not cruel to him; I like to pamper and spoil him after all. 🩵

violet: do you believe you can "fix" your darling, or are you the type to "make them worse"?

I don’t care for either of these options. I do not want to “fix” him, there’s nothing wrong with him. I do not want to “make him worse” since that would mean increasing his suffering. I want to see him happy and improve; I like seeing him get better. My goal isn’t to “fix” him, but be with him every step of the way. I want to love him despite what he thinks. Of course I would love to see him get better, I don’t enjoy seeing him in pain 💔. But I don’t see it as “fixing” him; I see it as being there to support him.