post break up kiss + jimon đ
youâre all horrible people for immediately asking for the saddest one. also for @vexedcer and @itsmichellejonesbitch.Â
jimon + 1. post break-up kiss
âJace, are you paying attention?â Alec asks, exasperated. Jace startles, and takes a deep breath.Â
âUh,â He frowns, âno. Sorry. What...what am I supposed to be doing?â Alec rolls his eyes and raises an eyebrow, his eyes sliding to what Jace is looking at - Raphael and Simon talking to Magnus, whoâs gesturing expansively as he explains where he wants the two vampires to stand.Â
âTheyâre not together.â Alec says casually. âIf thatâs what youâre wondering.âÂ
âIâm not.â Jace murmurs, looking at Simon again. He looks good. The shirt is new, a soft purple shirt that Jace doesnât remember ever seeing in Simonâs closet.Â
âSure.â Alecâs eyes are sympathetic. âWell, if youâre not wondering about that, then can you at least pay attention to what youâre supposed to be doing?âÂ
âWarlock weddings are so complicated.â Jace says halfheartedly. Alec snorts.Â
âYouâre not wrong,â he says, âbut I kind of like it. Itâs really - thereâs so many things they do for luck. Itâs nice, you know? To think that almost everyone is playing some part to make the day happier.âÂ
Jace laughs softly at the wistful look on Alecâs face, and he clasps Alecâs shoulder. âYeah, it is pretty nice.â He admits. Heâs so happy for Alec; their parabatai bond has never been more exuberant from Alecâs end then in these last few months, between the engagement and the planning of the wedding - both the Shadowhunter one and the warlock one.Â
Between Alec being the head of the Institute and Magnus being the High Warlock of Brooklyn, thereâs a lot of important people to invite and rituals to follow. Jace - is not really sure. He just knows heâs supposed to wear gold to the Shadowhunter wedding, and midnight blue to the warlock wedding, and in both heâs supposed to present Alec with symbolic items.Â
Simon, on the other hand - Jace glances over. Heâll be sitting in the front at the Shadowhunter one, in the first row, making a statement on Alecâs part - that heâs both a powerful Downworlder and Alecâs good friend. At the warlock wedding, Magnus has him and Raphael doing something that involves standing a particular star shaped formation and doing a spell traditionally reserved for familial blessings.Â
Itâs sweet that Magnus considers them family, and Simon obviously thinks so; heâs beaming at Magnus, his entire demeanor suffused with happiness. Simon loves weddings; heâd told Jace, under the covers, admitted that his father raised him a romantic, and he knows its just a silly ceremony, but it means something, and doesnât Jace see that?Â
For Simon, Jace had seen that. For him, Jace had seen everything - marriage, a house, children, a dog, a cat, a future.Â
âYouâre getting maudlin.â Alec interrupts his thoughts. âAre you sure youâre okay being here so soon after your breakup?âÂ
âIâm fine.â Jace shrugs. âWeâre adults. You guys mean a lot to us. Our problems are - â
âAre important too.â Alec finishes for him. He peers carefully at Jace, and prods across the parabatai bond, Jace flinches back. âYou know youâre allowed to be happy with him, right?âÂ
âHe doesnât love me.â Jace says quietly in response, crossing his arms and looking back at Simon, whoâs now engaged in needling Raphael about something or the other, judging by the stoic but vaguely amused expression on the clan leaderâs face. âHeâs in such a good place, and I was dragging him down.âÂ
âThatâs the most ridiculous thing Iâve heard. Hold this.â Alec instructs, unwinding a bolt of blue cloth. âI need to create foci for everyone involved in the ceremony.â Jace obliges, holding the roll in his hands as Alec measures across it, frowning. âIs that really why you broke up? I thought you guys fought.âÂ
âNo.â Jace says absently. They hadnât really. Jace had made the decision for the both of them; heâd spent day after day fighting demons and battling nightmares, and Simon had been - thriving. Heâd made up with the Clan, heâd started campaigning for Downworlder rights, he and Alec had officially cemented his liaison status, and his music had been doing better than ever.Â
Iâm not part of that equation. Jace had told Simon steadily. Itâs over.Â
Jace is a soldier; heâs been bred to be stoic and unaffected, and he knew how to smirk before he knew how to really smile. Simon, brave and beautiful Simon, had looked like heâd been hit in the chest by a train. Jace had felt it, hadnât been able to breathe for a moment because Simon was the love of his life. Still is, but he hasnât told Simon that. Heâs let him go, like a normal person would do; let him go so he can be the better person he was always meant to be, someone who was always going to be miles out of Jaceâs league.Â
Simon looks back at him, and just for a second his expression crumbles, his eyes crushed and heartbroken, and Jace looks away. Itâs better in the long run for everyone, for Simon if itâs like this. Itâs one of the most cliche things Jace has ever chosen to believe in, but itâs a cliche for a reason - because itâs true.Â
âHave you considered,â Alec says carefully, too carefully, âthat Simon is a grown adult who can make his own choices about whatâs good for him or bad for him?âÂ
âItâs not that simple.â Jace says, and then when Alec looks guilty and opens his mouth again he frowns, putting the bolt of cloth down. âDid Simon put you up to this?â
Alec looks away, shrugging. âI wouldnât say put me up to it,â he says quietly, âyouâre sad, and heâs sad - â
âAlec -Â â Jace says with growing dread, and his heart starts to speed up as all the misery heâs been holding back about losing Simon floods in; his hands start to shake.Â
âYou were so happy, and he - â Alec continues, still pushing, and Jace is being crushed under the weight of his mistakes, and then suddenly Simon is by his side in an instant like a knight in shining armor, muttering âItâs okay, itâs okay, Alec, you donât have to, itâs okay.âÂ
âSimon.â Alec says in surprise. âI thought you were okay with me talking to him.âÂ
Simon has his hands out, gazing carefully at Jace, whoâs frozen in panic. âYouâre okay,â he says, his voice low and soothing, âbreathe for me, Jace, youâre okay. I wonât push about this again. Itâs okay, Alec,â he repeats, turning slightly, âitâs freaking him out and thatâs the last thing I wanted, you donât have to - â
âYou were listening?â Jace finally manages to ask hoarsely. Simon looks at him strangely, and out of the corner of his vision he can see Alec backing away slowly, heading towards Magnus and giving them some privacy in the corner of the pavilion.Â
âVampire hearing?â He says, puzzled. âI canât really help it. And Iâm sorry, I shouldnât have asked Alec to talk to you, I totally respect your decision to - â He falters, his confidence breaking for the first time. âYou know.âÂ
âRight.â Jaceâs breathing is going back to normal, and he stares at Simon, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. âBecause what I did to you was so fair that youâre apologizing to me - â He sounds hysterical, even to his own ears, but heâs tired, so very tired, and Magnus and Alec are getting married, and he misses the feeling of waking up next to Simon.Â
Simonâs mouth parts, but he doesnât say anything at first. Jaceâs eyes flick to Simonâs lips, still as soft-looking as he remembers them, and Simon swallows convulsively. Heâs uncertain, his eyes frighteningly honest, and it breaks Jaceâs heart all over again.
âWell, yeah.â Simon finally says, his voice low. âYouâre clearly uncomfortable, and I - I donât ever want to make you feel like - I want you to be happy, and that - â
Jace canât hear anything past the rushing in his ears; he fists his hands in Simonâs shirt and yanks him forward, crushing their mouths together with all the pent-up desperation from the last few weeks. Simon lets out a pained, shuddering breath under him, and then he presses back equally as desperately, like itâs the last time heâll get to do this. His hands are everywhere, skimming up Jaceâs back, tugging at the base of his hair, sliding up the warm skin of his neck. Jace presses closer, slides an arm around Simonâs waist, and lines them up flush together, in the way he knows Simon likes, where his heartbeat echoes through both of their chests, pressed as close as possible. The kiss is sad and heartbroken and beautiful all at once, and Jace tries to pour all his love for Simon into it, tries to make it mean as much as his battered heart has to give.Â
âJace,â Simon gasps, sounding like heâs drowning as he pulls away, âplease, I - â
âWill you take me back?â Jace asks hoarsely. âIâm sorry, I know what I did was stupid and awful, but Iâm selfish and I - I want this, us, back - â
âYes,â Simon nods fervently, a grin spreading on his face and his eyes lighting up, âyes, yes, yes to all of it. Always, I - I love you, you have to know that, you idiot.âÂ
âI love you too.â Jace breathes out, and he tugs Simon close and kisses him again, and for the first time in weeks he feels like himself again.Â