#prev. simonsprettyface

Jace was trying his hardest to stay strong, he had plenty of time to be weak. He had to play off of the high of the adrenaline and the relief of being himself again. But there was something about this that was unlocking something in him, deep down. He had made sure to touch Simon as softly as he could, his gloved hands barely touching his skin. He didn’t want Simon to be scared, but that wasn’t just it.

He finally had control of himself again, he had the ability to be gentle. He had watched his hands do so many terrible things when the Owl was in control, had seen them hitting and stabbing and stained with blood all in the name of Lilith. And now he had them back, he could use them how he wanted.

Jace didn’t have to be violent. He could be tender. After all of that, he had to be. He couldn’t take any more force, any more blood. He just needed to be soft for once.

And Simon looked so hurt and sad, what was he supposed to do.

They were so close, Jace could feel his heart race. There was something about Simon that always made him feel like things were going to be okay. He stroked his cheek with his thumb, looking into his eyes. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he last saw him, really saw him. He had really only saw him once once the Owl had fully taken over, a very short time where all he did was tease him about the Seelie Court kiss, which he knew would make them both feel like shit. Jace hated the look on Simon’s face when Clary kissed him, how much it broke his heart.

“You know, you keep looking at me like that and I’m going to think you want to kiss me,” Simon said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Tensions were high, they were both sad and hurt and scared and high strung from everything going on around them.

“Maybe I do,” Jace said, his voice small. It was the first time he had admitted his attraction to Simon, really even to himself. But it was true, fuck was it true.

“Then maybe you should,” Simon said bad, looking into Jace’s eyes.

And so he did.

Jace leaned in and kissed him softly, as gently as he was holding his face. The fire that was usually deep inside of him when he kissed someone wasn’t a roaring flame, but a low ember. Everything about this moment was soft and sweet in a way that he never had with anyone, maybe even in a way that he never had wanted with anyone else before now.

The Owl kissed Lilith in his body with his mouth, made out with her for his energy. Jace could feel it every time, could feel her lips and tongue and the arousal from the Owl in a way that made him sick. But this was nothing like that. This was something so very not Jace in a very Jace way, defying everything he had been through.

They kissed, Simon’s hands going to rest on his waist as his hands didn’t move from their position on his face. He felt their faces grow wet from his tears and he pulled away with a broken chuckle.

“Sorry,” he said, looking over at Simon.

Simon just shook his head, moving his hand from his waist and going to wipe Jace’s face, giving him a small smile. “It’s okay,” he assured. “I hope you’re not crying because my kissing is just that bad,” he joked, his hand moving down to Jace’s neck. “You have so many reasons to cry, after what you’ve gone through. I can’t even imagine-.”

“Can we not… talk about it right now?” Jace asked, biting his lip. “I just… can we go? We’ve gotta get Alec back to the Institute and maybe start coming up with ideas on what to do. Yeah?”

There was something about Jace that both made Simon want to trust him or to get far away, but he was glad he chose to trust him. Because despite what Simon had assumed, he found Jace actually being helpful. Most of what he wanted to do was set fires to things, but to be fair that was necessary more often than not. Simon did most of the formulas and calculations while Jace did most of the actual combinations of chemicals and experiments. They were comfortable like this, and quickly rose to the top of the class.

Though Simon was afraid of that going downhill when he got sick.

He already hated missing a whole week of school, getting that far behind was terrifying to him. But he worried about Jace and their chemistry grade. Jace didn’t know how to do the formulas, he would be screwed.

Or so Simon thought.

On Friday, he heard a knock on the front door right after the school day would’ve ended. Going to the door in just a pair of old pajama pants and a Star Wars tshirt, Simon opened it and was surprised at who was standing there. “Jace?” he asked, confused. “What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”

Jace held up a folder, shaking it slightly. “Wanted to bring you your makeup work. I know you would want a head start on it,” he said, shrugging. “Clary told me where you lived. Hope that’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said with a smile.

“Oh,” Simon said softly, looking over at him. “Well, thanks,” he said, taking the folder from him. “That’s really nice of you. So, how’s our chem grade? I hope we haven’t dropped down too much,” he said, sounding a bit dejected. He really needed to pass all of his classes.

Jace cocked an eyebrow, looking completely confused. “What do you mean? I was there, I did the work,” he said like it was obvious.

“Yeah but I wasn’t there to do the formulas and calculations and stuff,” Simon pointed out. “That’s a good part of the points. Not that what you do isn’t important too, just… you know.”

Jace crossed his arms, looking at him now obviously more than a little mad. “You think I’m too dumb to do the work?” he asked. “I’m not just a pretty face. I did the paper work too so that we wouldn’t fall behind. You’re welcome,” he said, turning to leave. “I told you to trust me.”

When Jace left, Simon felt bad about the whole thing. He knew he shouldn’t have assumed Jace couldn’t do the work, he realized that there was a lot more to learn about Jace. And after that day, he did. During class, he started really talking to Jace. Which went from just during the school day to inviting him over after school to hang out. One of those days, he had to ask something that had been on his mind since the Lightwoods came to their school a couple years before.

“So why don’t you look like your siblings?” Simon asked, looking over at Jace sitting next to him on the couch.

“What?” Jace asked, chuckling.

“You know, Alec and Izzy. Why don’t you look like them?”

“Dude, really? I’m adopted. Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, laughing more. “Me and Alec look nothing alike and are almost the same age,” he pointed out.

“Oh,” Simon said, and yeah it was kind of obvious, but he didn’t want to assume. “I mean, now that you say it...”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said, nudging him. “It’s not something I hide, but I don’t really talk about it a lot if it doesn’t come up, you know? But yeah, I’m adopted. Long story short, I’m an orphan and the Lightwoods adopted me when I was ten. They had us in this special math and science school for a while and then when they got divorced, we started coming here,” he admitted.

Simon’s eyes went wide at that, shifting to look at him better. “You? At a math and science school?” he asked, trying to not sound too surprised.

“I know, I know. Dumb ass jock like me? I told you, more than just a pretty face,” he chuckled. “Izzy’s the real science genius of the family though,” he admitted. “But I did pick up some stuff. So now you know why we didn’t fail just because you were out sick for a week,” he smiled.

“Hot and lowkey a genius? God, I could kiss you,” Simon said without thinking, chuckling to himself.

“I mean, if you did I wouldn’t mind,” Jace said honestly, shrugging.

Simon faltered for a moment, looking over at him. “Wait, what?”

“I said if you wanted to kiss me, I wouldn’t mind,” Jace bit his lip. “I… you’re not going to be an asshole about this, are you? Even if that was a joke, I thought you’d be okay with me liking guys since Clary’s gay and she’s your best friend,” he rambled, starting to worry.

Simon leaned in and pressed their lips together hurriedly, wanting to calm Jace down. After a moment they both relaxed, starting to properly kiss and oh God, he was kissing Jace. They were really kissing on his mom’s couch in the middle of the living room.

“I like guys too,” Simon said breathlessly, looking into his eyes. “And I like you.”

“I like you too,” Jace admitted, smiling. “Like ever since we got paired together this is all I thought about.”

“Yeah? I guess you could say we’ve got chemestry,” Simon smirked and Jace groaned.

“Never mind, I don’t like you anymore.”

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Jace could see everything, every single move the Owl made. Every mundane and werewolf and any other creature he could get his hands on that he killed. Every time he kissed Lilith in his body. And this was no exception. He could see Alec, clear as day. He could see his hands welding the weapons as they fought. He could see his hands as he hit him. He could feel Alec stabbing him in the leg, the pain shooting through him just like it did the Owl.

But Alec was right, Jace was more than willing to die for this. He was ready to accept death, he had already accepted it long ago. But he was more than ready now, now that it would mean something. If Alec could kill him then they could get to Lilith and save Clary, and he was more than happy to die for the people he loved.

And if anyone was going to kill him, he wanted it to be Alec.

But things were going wrong, the Owl was too powerful. He was taunting him now, reminding him that he could see everything. That he could hear Jace’s screams.

“Please, fuck! You can’t kill him,” he cried, breaking down again. It was hard to breathe, and he just wanted it all to end. He closed his eyes, but it was no use, Jace could still see everything the Owl could. “Anything but this. I’ll do anything, give you anything, just as long as you don’t kill Alec. Especially with my hands,” he pleaded, not caring that the Owl was still taunting him about it. He had nothing to offer the Owl, they both knew this, but he had to think of something. Alec was too important to die, he had so much to live for. So many people to live for. So many people that loved him and depended on him, Jace being one of them.

He couldn’t let his brother die.

But it was out of his control.

The Owl did it anyways.

Jace watched, helplessly, as the Owl got on top of Alec. He watched as the Owl grabbed the arrow and held it over Alec’s chest. He let out the most painful, gut wrenching scream when he watched his hands start to plunge the arrow in, knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it. Alec was going to die, and it was his fault. It was his hands that were driving it in, his face the last thing Alec might see as he died. He couldn’t stop screaming and crying, he just wanted it to end. He had watched the Owl kill so many with his hands, and with each kill it chiseled away at him. But this was different, he felt this deep down. His screams were coming from his heart, not his throat. His tears were coming from his soul, not his eyes.

He was killing his brother.

This was worse than any of the other kills, even Imogen. He didn’t care about anyone half as much as he cared about Alec. He loved him, he was his big brother. He was his parabatai. He was his best friend.

Then he felt the blast.

So much pain and conflict going on, he didn’t understand what it was. Until he realized where he was, that he was moving again. He was finally free.

And Alec was still dying.

Alec, ever the selfless brother, reassured him that it wasn’t his fault as the life drained away from him.

He begged Magnus to save him, just like he begged the Owl to spare him. Unlike the Owl, Magnus couldn’t save him. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he really couldn’t. And it broke Jace more, because he knew Magnus could lose the man he loved because of him. He had to fix this.

“Exactly one year ago today, you got on that ferris wheel with me,” Simon explained, looking over at him fondly. “And let me kiss you in front of everyone. So I say it’s officially the anniversary of the day you came out. Happy one year, babe. I hope you have many more happily gay years ahead of you,” he joked lightly.

Bram walked over to him, taking his hand in his. “You’re such a dork,” he said, leaning in and pressing their lips together softly. “But you’re my dork,” he whispered against his lips before he kissed him again.

He kept kissing him, pressed against the kitchen counter, until Simon pulled away slightly.

“We should eat some cake,” he said, nudging him slightly. Right when Simon turned around to cut the cake, Bram wrapped his arms around his waist from behind and held onto him as he cut a couple slices of cake and put them on the plates.

“Do I get to make a coming out-versary wish?” he asked, pressing a kiss to Simon’s cheek.

“Mmm, sure, I guess. You can do whatever you want, it’s your day,” Simon said after thinking for a moment, chuckling. “What do you wish for?”

Bram pretended to think for a few moments, slowly kissing the side of Simon’s face. “I wish for this,” he finally said, humming as he pressed closer to Simon’s back. “I wouldn’t change a thing. A lot of people accepted me, I still have all of my friends. And I’m closer to people because of it, because I don’t feel so guarded anymore. It’s not always easy, especially when I started college classes, and I had to worry about this shit again, but it was easier,” he said, sighing softly as he kissed his cheek again.

“But the best part about it is that I got you. I have this amazing, supportive, smart, funny, cute as fuck boyfriend. Something I didn’t know if I’d ever get to have,” Bram continued. “I came out and I got to have you. I got to fall in love. And damn am I in love,” he chuckled.

Simon sucked in a breath before smiling, turning his head to kiss his lips. “I love you too. I’m glad you get to be unapologetically yourself. Confidence is a good look on you.”

“You too,” Bram hummed. “I like seeing you all confident and open and… gay,” he smiled.

“I like seeing you all gay too,” he teased, pecking his lips again before getting some frosting on his finger and putting some on Bram’s nose. “Let me take a picture of you with your cake before we end up cutting more pieces and cutting into the words,” he said, letting Bram pose both with the icing still on his nose and one without, with his cake. They posted them on Bram’s instagram before they grabbed a couple drinks and the cake, heading into the living room.

They cuddled up on the couch and watched a movie as they ate the cake, it quickly turning from watching to exchanging extremely sweet tasting kisses for a while. When they turned on a new movie, Simon fell asleep curled up to him, and Bram couldn’t stop himself from smiling softly.

This really was all that he wanted, all he needed. Simon. Simon had given him the courage to be himself, it was just an added bonus that they ended up falling madly in love.