#smokescreen no

Well, then.

I’m a doctor, Ratchet tells himself. He’s had weirder things happen, and has seen weirder things. Yup, absolutely. Absolutely nothing weird about this. Hardly fazed, if a tad bit concerned if he’s just been punked, he replies:

Optimus Prime:  Though the concept seems strange to him, considering he’s lived his whole life in the water, he does empathize with you.  The ocean is a scary place after all, especially for something as small as you.  He’d never try to make you get in the water if you don’t want to.  He’s perfectly happy swimming alongside your boat while he talks to you (you notice the waves always seem considerably calmer whenever he’s nearby).  Or if you’d rather not be near the water at all, he’s more than willing to shapeshift into his human form to take you for walks along the beach.

Ratchet:  He scoffs a bit when you first tell him.  After all, you humans aren’t exactly built for aquatic living, are you?  Why your species continuously tries to adapt to environments they’ve got no business being in is beyond him.  But despite his usual grumpiness, you can tell he’s worried slightly for you.  He’d never want you to feel uncomfortable or put your self at risk just to see him.  He’ll gently encourage you to take things slow and offers to teach you how to swim in the shallows, but he won’t push the issue too much if you don’t want to.

Bumblebee:  He’s very… confused when you explain your fear to him.  You’re afraid of water?  But you drink water?  The whole planet is practically made of water??  YOU are mostly water???  He doesn’t quite grasp the concept.  Still, even if he can’t understand your fears, he can at least be supportive and accommodating.  You’re afraid to get in the ocean by yourself?  He’ll offer to let you ride on his back or stomach.  Rather keep your feet on the ground?  No problem!  He loves exploring the human world!  He’s fine with keeping the majority of your dates to seaside carnivals or walks along the beach.

Arcee:  You expect a tough, fearless mer like Arcee to laugh at you when you tell her about your phobia, but to your surprise she’s very understanding.  “Everybody’s afraid of something,” she says matter of factly.  You ask her if she’s afraid of anything and she smirks and says Bulkhead breaching on top of her.  Arcee makes it a point never to force you to go in the water.  She knows that everyone deals with phobias in their own way.  Arcee’s also very protective of you and let’s you know that she’ll smack anyone who dares to make fun of you about your fear.  Of course, if over time, you get to a point where you’d feel comfortable swimming with her, she’s gladly take you for a spin on her back.

Bulkhead:  In all honestly, he’s a bit relived.  Sure, he might have been looking forward to going diving with you, but at the same time, dry land is probably the safest place for you.  Do you have any idea how dangerous the ocean can be?  There are sharks.  Sharks, y/n.  Even still, he does gently nudge you to talk to a professional about your phobia, but he won’t push the issue if you say no.  His favorite thing to do with you is lie out on the beach on gloomy days when there’s no one else around.  He’ll also help you build sandcastles and let you bury him in the sand in human form (just be sure to uncover him before the tide rolls in.  He’s still a mammal after all.)

Wheeljack:  He’s not exactly what you’d call sympathetic at first.  He thinks being afraid of the water is kind of silly, especially when you live so close by.  (Truthfully though, he’s a bit wounded because he’s worried you might also be scared of him or that you won’t want to come see him anymore.)  If he makes you upset with his seeming indifference, or god forbid makes you cry, he’ll feel like absolute slag.  Hey, hey, no!  Come on!  He didn’t mean it!  It’s not stupid.  He didn’t mean to upset you.  Please don’t cry!  He’s a bit more sympathetic towards you from then on, and doesn’t bring it up again.  But just because you can’t get in the water with him, doesn’t mean he still can’t show you a great time!  There are plenty of secret coves and beaches he can still show you as he swims alongside your boat.

Smokescreen:  Like Bumblebee, he’s very confused.  (You don’t like the water?  How can you not like the water?  The water is great!)  Unlike Bumblebee, however, he’s far more adamant about changing your mind.  Smokescreen takes it upon himself to be your personal phobia coach, which goes just about as well as you’d expect.  His idea to have you conquer your fears is to throw you into the middle of the ocean with no life jacket.  After receiving the verbal beating of a life time from Ratchet, as well as a few days of the silent treatment for you, Smokescreen sheepishly apologizes.  He never meant to freak you out.  He only wanted you to see how cool his home could be.  He’ll never do it again, promise.  He tries much harder to be supportive and listen to you from then on.

Sadly no, they can’t spin outside of alt-mode. Would have been fun to mess around with if they could.

I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS POINTLESS MISSION