something i find frustrating about a lot of the discourse around being single in your 30s is that so much of the response is predicated on the idea that you just haven't done the internal work to ~be ok~ with being a single person.
but like, i very much have done that work. i have been single my entire adult life! it would have been impossible for me not to. i have unpicked my ideas about relationship status and how that impacts the way people see you, and how you see yourself. i have lived alone and been self sufficient and learnt how to rely on myself. i do not need another person to validate my existence, and i don't think that you can't have a good life if you're single.
i have done the work. and yet i still want a partner. so what now?
and it's not so much the ~romance~ of it all. i mean yes, flowers and cute dates and poetry and boomboxes over heads would be very much appreciated. i would love all of that. but anyone can buy a bunch of flowers. what i really crave is the emotional connection of a partner. the idea of coming home to my Favourite Person every day. and having someone to do the mundanity of day to day life with. grocery shopping, making dinner, talking about work. being seen, being loved, being prioritised. i want that!
and i hate that every time i express that i get condescended to about how i just need to 'deprioritise relationships' from my life.
