#significantobjects

⠀ 43/100⠀ ⠀ 1: It’s not ok to be squeamish about this, unless what bothers you is hundreds of dollars in lost cute undies. If you are gonna be all “Ooh, gross, period blood” I’m gonna be all “don’t be such a fifth grade boy.” FFS you are the result of a missed period. Evolve with us, please.⠀ ⠀ 2: Even the most prepared among us end up with period surprises. I am not the most prepared among us. I could fill a book with disaster stories.⠀ ⠀ 3: An ex once said “you’ve been doing this for over a decade, you think you’d be used to it.” That’s what people who have never bled through a super plus in 20 minutes say. There is no getting used to waking up covered in blood.⠀ ⠀ 4: Sure, I could buy black underwear, but that’s not nearly as fun as rainbow panties, or ones with little divers all over them.⠀ ⠀ #period #thisiswhywecanthavenicethings #undies #underpants #periods #periodssuck #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration

For the 4th #abandonedB2DBC, i decided to leave behind "Significant Objects: 100 Extraordinary Stories About Ordinary Things" by @hilobrow & Rob Walker. It's a "literary and economic experiment" where they took cheap trinkets and had writers make a story about each of them. Then they sold them on eBay and made thousands from the objects! Isn't that cool?! They have statistics and analysis too. I love reading them. Here's a great story about a flip flop frame by @merrill_markoe. It makes me want to do the exact same thing hehe. What I need now is a cheap tchotcke to base my own flash fiction off of. But nothing in my house is jumping at me unfortunately. I think i'll look at some thrift stores, that seems like more fun anyway hehe. I want to try do this before the new year arrives. It's getting bitterly cold in the northeast though. Maybe I should leave it indoors somewhere, hmm. In any case, it's been too long since I worked on this passion public art project. Hoping the new year brings more writing, energy, and strikethroughs. Stay warm! #significantobjects #bookstagram #books https://www.instagram.com/p/BrB6neQnIf_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1vxnhdqrcam6z

92/100⠀ ⠀ Here’s a tip: don’t ever rest your hand on the hinged side of a safe while waiting for your manager to make change. Especially don’t do that if you just started your shift at McDonald’s on Fourth of July and half of your co-workers called in “sick.” It’s also a really bad idea to rest your hand on a safe when you have a long line at your register, and if you are hopped up on all of the caffeine that comes with a fountain of free flowing diet coke. And, definitely don’t do it if you need the money from three summer jobs to pay college tuition. In general, it’s a very bad idea to have any part of your body come in contact with any part of a safe door. You know what could happen? The manager could slam the heavy metal door very hard and your thumb could be trapped in the creaky side and you don’t realize it and you try to walk away but your hand doesn’t come with you. And then you have to have surgery to pick shards of broken nail and bone from your finger and it bleeds for three days and you don’t make any money over the next 8 weeks. And you have a wonky nail forever. So, just keep your hands away from the safe. ⠀ ⠀ #ouch #workerscomp #goodadvice #mcdonaldslife #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration #mcdonalds

86/100⠀ ⠀ I believe in the power of baked goods, in cookies as a currency: a means of saying I see you, or thank you, or hello & welcome or I’m sorry you got herpes. I have batches of cookie stories, like the time I was so devastated over the results of a presidential election I made a package of chocolate shortbread for every boat in the marina, or the time I brought cookies to a party and a local coffee shop owner held one aloft to the crowd and declared it overcooked. But these particular cookies, apricot, cornmeal and sage are my brother’s favorite. He was working for a political campaign in DC I didn’t believe in. I wanted to send him cookies, but I didn’t want him to share them with his coworkers. I didn’t want his fellow campaign staffers to feel like they had my support. So my friend and I took a bite out of every single cookie in the batch, knowing full well that my brother has no problem eating (taking) a cookie I’d already bitten. Despite how aesthetically perfect each bite was, my brother assumed they’d been broken in shipping and shared them anyway.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #ibakeforelections #cookies #brothers #packages #carepackages #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration

85/100⠀ ⠀ This is a boat fender. It’s a strong, inflatable, expensive cushion that goes between a boat and another object—like a dock or even another boat. Fenders are really helpful in protecting from damage; they generally hang passively over the rails of a docked boat, although can be guided in place in during docking and other maneuvers. From my personal experience, there are times you can’t rely on a fender to protect the boat:⠀ ⠀ 1. When you’re on a rusty dock in Bali and a barge sideswipes the length of the boat⠀ 2. When you’re docked in Atlantis and another boat rams into you as it backs up⠀ 3. When you’re creeping along in bowl-of-milk fog in Woods Hole, Massachusetts and a small sailboat comes flying into you at full speed ⠀ 4. When you’re anchored and a giant yacht doesn’t realize it’s stuck in reverse and backs across the anchorage and smacks into you⠀ 5. Also, you can't fend off an airplane, trust me, I know this from experience. (yes, I was on a boat that got hit by a plane).⠀ ⠀ ***Also, it's time for a palette change! This week's color scheme comes from this pic I took last week at the Randall Davis Audobon Center in Santa Fe, NM. (yeah, I don't see any purples in there, but the program does, so...)⠀ ⠀ #nonewereourfault #collision #yachtlife #yachtchef #notallfendersareguitars #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration #randalldaveyauduboncenter

81/100⠀ I’m in the process of making a new friend, we barely know each other, but we’ve committed to the whole, “I think I might like you, so let’s have coffee or lunch or something.” We first bonded over mutual requited necklace admiration. On our third meeting, I complimented her shoes, which she told me she’d just seen at *my* new favorite shoe store but they didn’t have her size. So she went home and searched the web until she found a pair that fit-- in the UK and they’d just arrived.⠀ ⠀ I haven’t had a chance to tell her that I had a pair of sparkly Tom’s that I loved. When I first wore them I bumped into things like parking meters and utility poles because I was distracted by their beauty. By the time they wore out, the style had been discontinued and Tom’s didn’t sell them. So I did the next logical thing. I went straight to @ebay and bought every single pair available in my size, for a total of two. One shipped from China, the other from Hong Kong. I’ve already worn one pair out, the other was mis-labeled and is too small. I've also done this with cooking shoes. ⠀ ⠀ This story has two points, maybe even three: ⠀ 1: making friends as a grown-up is hard⠀ 2: finding perfect shoes is hard⠀ 3: guys, you are missing out on so many amazing bonding/friendship opportunities because you don’t compliment each other’s outfits and accessories.⠀ ⠀ @TOMS please bring back glitter shoes⠀ ⠀ #Toms #shoes #makenewfriends #ebay #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration

78/100⠀ ⠀ So we came upon 7 glow-in-the-dark popes, Hubby spotted them in a tiny shop in Dubrovnik. Naturally we had to buy them all, one just isn’t fun. We had big plans for the popes. They were to live in their own home, built specifically for them, it would be called either Poperoni or Pontifactory. The names were kind of interchangeable, but Poperoni won out by sheer frequency of use. There were holes for lights, and a motion sensor would set small turntables in motion, so as someone passed by, all the popes would turn back and forth. It would be our security system, and we’d have a sign printed up that says “this house protected by Il Papa.” The Poperoni was to be a grand palace, but somehow, when hubby built their home it seemed so severe and austere. I tried covering the grey exterior with gold flecked spray paint, and that helped, but it still seemed so square and basic. The Poperoni moved down the eastern seaboard with us, then sat in in storage before moving to the garage and finally to the dumpster. The popes live on a shelf in our living room with a water bottle shaped like the Virgin Mary and a Sacred Heart of Jesus Statue with Elvis’s face. ⠀ ⠀ Epilogue: Last week at the International Folk Art Museum in Santa Fe, my friend and I spied a beautiful shining silver replica palace in a display. We simultaneously shouted “Poperoni” because we finally understood what it was supposed to be. ⠀ ⠀ #poperoni #pontifactory #glowinthedarkpope #bigideas #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration

77/100⠀ ⠀ We spent a couple months in Indonesia, sailing around small islands throughout the archipelago in a 110 foot sailboat. Some places weren’t on any charts, so we had to nudge our way in. Somewhere in the South Java Sea, lightning struck the mast and fried our computers. Captain handsome hubby was able to get the navigation up and running, but we lost all of our digital pictures from the journey and our wedding. That was a different adventure from the night a storm descended upon us, messed up our hydraulic gear with the sails stuck up in big gusts so we gybed and lost the vang. I know, lots of words that mean nothing. How’s this: it was the middle of the night, the only reason I wasn’t puking my guts out in the raging stormy sea is because I was terrified I’d never see the sun. I clung to the lifelines and sang “Amazing Grace” because there was nothing else I could do. ⠀ But the rest of Indonesia was amazing: the people, the art, the music, the land, the money, the food, the markets, the children. Many/most Indonesians smoke local clove cigarettes and the smell is etched in my memory. Even the money smells like it. Whenever a hint of clove smoke curls into my nose, I am instantly transported back there. My neighbor smokes the same cigarettes, and I’m so afraid that frequently smelling it will overwrite the imagery, so I run inside whenever I get a whiff of her smoking.⠀ ⠀ ***note on this weeks color palette: so I made a #smorgastarta over the weekend. Is it a sandwich or is it a cake? IDK but it's fun af. I'd like to thank lavender daikon radish from the @santafefarmersmarket for providing the lovely plum tones in today's post. ⠀ ⠀ And, yes, a smell is an object.⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #indonesia #smellismemory #scent #smell #clovecigarette #cheflife #yachtcheflife #the100dayproject #the100dayproject2018 #the100dayprojectOP #objectpermanence #significantobjects #stuff #tradingcard #tradingcards #affinitydesigner #virtualcabinetofcuriosities #art #autobiography #illustration