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“You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.”
In this week’s episode of The Netmums Podcast, Gemma Styles opens up about setting digital boundaries as a parent – and why she’s choosing to share less, not more, when it comes to her daughter.
From online privacy to future-proofing her child’s digital footprint, Gemma shares a thoughtful perspective shaped by over a decade on social media.
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In the unregulated world of vloggers, children are, for the most part, not entitled to a single cent they help earn. We spoke to creators—an
Being the child of an influencer, Vanessa tells me, was the equivalent of having a full-time job—and then some. She remembers late nights in which the family recorded and rerecorded videos until her mother considered them perfect and days when creating content for the blog stretched into her homeschooling time. If she expressed her unease, she was told the family needed her. “It was like after this next campaign, maybe we could have more time to relax. And then it would never happen,” she says. She was around 10 years old when she realized her life was different from that of other children. When she went to other kids’ houses, she was surprised by how they lived. “I felt strange that they didn’t have to work on social media or blog posts, or constantly pose for pictures or videos,” she says. “I realized they didn’t have to worry about their family's financial situation or contribute to it.” Vanessa, who requested anonymity to speak freely about her family dynamics, says she helped create content for huge companies like Huggies and Hasbro when her mom landed endorsement deals. When she reached puberty and began menstruating, her mother had her do sponsored posts for sanitary pads. “It was so mortifying,” she says. “I just felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.” Being part of an influencer family changed everything about her life, Vanessa says. “Sometimes I didn’t know where the separation was between what was real and what was curated for social media.” And her mother’s online presence indelibly warped their relationship. “Being an influencer kid turned my relationship with my mom into more of an employer-employee relationship than a parent-child one,” she says. “Once you cross the line from being family to being coworkers, you can’t really go back.” Vanessa will never get back the childhood that she gave up for the family business—not getting any of the money she helped earn is just another disappointment, even if it was entirely unsurprising. “My mom never led me to think there would be anything. She would continually remind me that the money she was getting from the blog or sponsorships was going toward us anyway through basic needs and that should be enough.”
Source
It's always "ooh kids/teens, be careful online" and "ooh we need more rules and regulations for young people to being safe but it's never
"PARENTS STOP EXPOSE YOUR CHILDREN ONLINE"
"PARENTS STOP TO USE YOUR CHILDREN TO EARN MONEY"
"PARENTS STOP TO OVEREXPLOIT YOUR KIDS TO CREATE CONTENT"
I DON'T WANT CHILD PROOF INTERNET I WANT LAWS AGAINST SHARENTING AAAAAAH
Voy a decir una sabiduría que no la voy a publicar en inglés, porque que se jodan.
Si de algo va a servir esta situación de "invasión" de la IA es para que hagamos carne el impacto de la huella informática.
Lo que sistemas como Chatgpt toman de la red es información publicada, que a diferencia de la información pública no es de interés público pero no es ilegal leer, reproducir o comercializar porque ha sido expuesta por el propio dueño.
Reddit, AO3, blogs, libros publicados, algunas redes sociales, etc, no son legalmente información sensible ni confidencial, y deja de ser "nuestra" desde el momento que se postea. Por eso Chatgpt puede barrerlos para diagramar sus respuestas. No así los datos personales del autor, porque eso entra dentro de la confidencialidad.
Pero chicos, quienes publicamos nuestro material somos nosotros y estamos informados y consentimos a que cada foto, cada fic, cada post, puede llegar a los confines del internet de cualquier manera.
Esto no es una apología a la IA, sólo quiero que se cuiden. Y de paso que las abuelas dejen de subir fotos de sus nietitos con el uniforme de la escuela a la que van, pero bue.
En fin, saber que lo que publicamos, incluso antes que existiera Chatgpt, no se queda en los confines de la red social. Saber que, si me incomodaría que lo use Chatgpt, entonces mejor no postearlo.
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The case against 'sharenting'
Yesterday, an Anon @bat-cat-reader got made me think. Long and hard, far and wide - research included.
Here is the Anon: https://www.tumblr.com/bat-cat-reader/750859423333908480/lo-bueno-de-estar-revisando-redes-constantemente?source=share . I wanted to piggyback first, then I realized the issue was way more important than the person in question. And decided to post everything separately.
Loved this very matter of fact, calm Anon and I totally agree with what was said about overexposing a child online.
This sudden surge of completely inappropriate information about that child raised an eyebrow, and then some more. It begs, as always when dealing with minors, the question of privacy, as opposed to using their image for what obviously is self-promotion. And more generally, what is called 'sharenting', a portmanteau combining 'sharing' (info) and 'parenting' that was quite recently invented by The Wall Street Journal to describe a more and more widespread phenomenon.
That some parents would just love to have and even share digital mementoes of their child(ren) is apparently ok. Others, however, choose to monetize their kids, turning them into a sales argument. I am still floored at such disingenuous choices, that might have serious consequences for their future. And I am not the only one, mind you: a 2018 report by England's Children Commissioner, the leading government official competent for protecting and promoting children's rights, found out that parental digital oversharing is a high risk behavior for the child.
Short term, as in identity theft ...
... to long term, as in lost academic or professional opportunities - the 2018 warning made only more compelling by the recent AI craze:
[Source: England's Children Commissioner Report 'Who Knows What About Me?', 2018 - online: https://assets.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/wpuploads/2018/11/cco-who-knows-what-about-me.pdf]
You'll find this very recent article from The Guardian absolutely enlightening, too. I certainly did: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/feb/26/son-social-media-parents-children
Particularly this - I am not a mom, so Mordor bitches will certainly point this salient detail out, you see. But maybe this journalist mom's POV could give them (and maybe even other people) pause:
Pedophile. Quite chilling, right? Pedophile rings actively searching for children photos inadvertently being shared online, to feed sick obsessions worldwide (do not be parochial and think those pics must be of an ambiguous nature!). Instagram being currently in very hot water for its strange content promoting algorithm, allowing pedophiles to easily access children photos and personal data, based on exif. Digital kidnapping, as in criminals pretending to be the child's parents, for various financial or pathological reasons.
Think I am a stupid, stupid shipper with an agenda? Then so is the US House of Representatives Energy and Commerce Commission. Last year, a joint statement has been released by two if its members (and before Mordor starts screeching about 'the MAGA mommies obsession for pedophilia', let it be said it is a bipartisan, Democrat and Republican initiative), about the fact that 'Instagram hosts a vast network of pedophilic content and that its algorithms are actively driving users to this content':
[Source: https://energycommerce.house.gov/posts/pallone-rodgers-demand-answers-from-instagram-after-reports-the-platform-is-driving-users-to-child-sex-abuse-material]
It followed a long report on Instagram's less than responsible practices in the matter, published by The Wall Street Journal, not your next door digital gossip rag (subscribers only, but you'll have an idea: https://www.wsj.com/articles/instagram-vast-pedophile-network-4ab7189?st=mbga8lpdddfm5dh&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink)
Mark this statement: 'It is clear these companies cannot be trusted to protect children on their platforms'. I, not even a mom (but an aunt, a friend and a godmother, too), cannot even start to express my disgust at the hypocrisy of barely hiding children's faces on a certain blog, but at the same time allowing rabid speculation about a child's whereabouts, based on what is clearly a case of sharenting. All the mothers, grandmothers and aunts commenting under that post would have to take a long, hard look at themselves in a mirror. And also ask themselves why they allowed their personal fantasy to get an upper hand on common sense?
That is a terrible, terrible shame. And then people wonder why is C not sharing anything? Would you share your kid(s) to that mob? I wouldn't and it is my strong belief no mother in her right mind would.
Last but not least, reckless digital behavior comes with risks, costs and consequences. Including legal ones, taking into account what very probably is some loose, rather informal agreement of co-parenting (as opposed to a stricter, 50/50 shared custody system), as per Scottish family law. Something I shall briefly try to explain, for context purposes only:
Unlike many other legal systems in the world, the 1995 Scottish Children Act has a slightly different approach to custody (or what they call 'residence'), in which the child's best interest, as well as the parents' own agreement (called a Parenting Plan) are paramount. By the same token, it does not matter if the parents were married or just common law partners, for example. This allows for less cumbersome living and financial arrangements, provided the two parties agree, and also for quicker procedures, as the law does not encourage parents to go to Court, if an agreement has been reached ('no-order principle'). Mediation and legal assistance services are readily available to make every particular case fit in the local Parenting Plan framework. On the other hand, because in legal matters all things are (must be, really) symmetrical, it is relatively easy to have parental rights and responsibilities enforced (example: issue an order stipulating to cease and desist from posting on Instagram), or even removed, in Court. While removal is a bit of a hassle (supporting statements are required, either from an independent witness/not a relative or Social Welfare Services), the enforcement is way easier and just requires a basic contradictory procedure in Court.
For example, a child's proven overexposure on the Internet can very well be successfully contended in Court, if things go South. Especially in an emotionally loaded local context:
[Source: https://news.sky.com/story/seven-members-of-paedophile-gang-guilty-of-running-monstrous-child-sex-abuse-ring-13008082 - you read the article if you want, it's brutal]
I am not saying this will happen. What I am trying to say is simply that nobody (and I repeat: nobody) should play with fire, like this. Neither the parent, nor the public. This is a plea for decency across the dashboard I strongly felt I should make, if others won't.
No shitshow, no fantasy, no obsession should ever put a child's life at potential risk like that. You see, children are rarely asked if they would like to be shown off as circus monkeys.
La privacidad digital de los niños, “El Sharenting”
El "sharenting" se refiere a la práctica de compartir información y contenido relacionado con los hijos en las redes sociales y plataformas digitales. La privacidad digital de los niños en este contexto es un tema importante, ya que implica la protección de su información personal y su derecho a la privacidad.
Contexto:
El "sharenting" se refiere a la práctica cada vez más común de los padres de compartir información, fotos y videos de sus hijos en las redes sociales. Este fenómeno plantea una serie de desafíos en torno a la privacidad digital de los niños y adolescentes. Por un lado, el "sharenting" pone en juego los derechos digitales de los menores, como su privacidad y su identidad digital. Esto se debe a que los padres comparten contenido sobre sus hijos sin su consentimiento, lo cual puede tener consecuencias a largo plazo para el desarrollo y la autonomía de los niños.
En la era digital, la protección de la privacidad de los menores de edad se enfrenta a una serie de riesgos derivados del "sharenting". La exposición de información personal, la pérdida de control sobre su imagen y la vulneración de su derecho a la intimidad son algunas de las principales amenazas que enfrentan los niños y adolescentes. Además, el "sharenting" implica una quiebra de la privacidad y la identidad digital de los menores, ya que los padres comparten contenido sobre ellos sin su consentimiento. Esto pone en riesgo el ejercicio de sus derechos civiles y libertades, como el derecho a la privacidad.
Leyes promulgadas:
En el Perú, respecto a la protección de datos personales desde el 3 de julio 2011, se promulgó la ley N° 29733 (Peruano, 2011), mediante la cual da complemento al artículo 2 numeral 6 de la Constitución Política del Perú. De dicha disposición cabe resaltar la importancia del cuidado con los datos personales, así como los Principios rectores, como son el de seguridad y protección adecuada, con la finalidad de su resguardo a fin de evitar el uso inadecuado de los mismos; precisando que estos datos deben ser manejados en base a la regulación vigente local y de los organismos internacionales en la materia. En cuyo caso se debe dictar medidas especiales para el tratamiento de los datos personales, protegiendo y garantizando sus derechos, en atención al interés superior de los niños y de los adolescentes. Posteriormente, el 22 de octubre del 2013 (Peruano D. O., 2013) en la Ley N°30096 de Delitos Informáticos en su artículo 5 se enuncia la defensa de los niños, niñas y adolescentes con fines sexuales por medios tecnológicos. Así como las acciones en conjunto con otros países con el fin de generar medidas concretas a fin de salvaguardar las buenas prácticas de estos medios informativos y de comunicación. Esta norma, enuncia que el uso de los datos el consentimiento, debe ser otorgado de manera libre, previo, expreso e informado. Son los padres quienes deciden o no brindar el consentimiento para el tratamiento o uso de los datos de sus hijos e hijas en su representación. Sin embargo, en el Reglamento de la presente LPDP, permite de manera excepcional que los adolescentes comprendidos entre los 14 y los 18 años pueden conceder el consentimiento para la utilización de sus datos, bajo la premisa que la información sea brindada en un lenguaje comprensible por ellos y no sea necesaria la asistencia de quienes acreditan la patria potestad para ser aceptada. Tales como creación de cuentas en redes sociales, jugar por internet o compras en internet de productos permitidos.
Recomendaciones :
Concienciar a los padres: Es importante educar a los padres sobre los riesgos y las implicaciones del "sharenting" para la privacidad y el desarrollo de los niños. Esto puede hacerse a través de campañas de sensibilización, talleres y recursos informativos.
Promover el consentimiento de los menores: Involucrar a los niños y adolescentes en la decisión de compartir contenido sobre ellos en línea. Respetar su derecho a decidir qué información se publica y obtener su aprobación antes de hacerlo.
Establecer pautas y políticas: Desarrollar directrices y políticas claras a nivel familiar, escolar y comunitario sobre el uso responsable de las redes sociales y el manejo de la información de los menores.
Fortalecer la regulación: Impulsar el desarrollo de leyes y normativas que protejan específicamente los derechos digitales de los niños, incluyendo su privacidad, imagen e identidad en línea.
Promover la alfabetización digital: Enseñar a niños y adolescentes habilidades para gestionar su presencia y privacidad en entornos digitales de manera segura y responsable.
Ofrecer herramientas de control: Proporcionar a los padres y menores opciones para monitorear, limitar y eliminar el contenido publicado sobre ellos en línea.
Fomentar el diálogo intergeneracional: Facilitar espacios de discusión y reflexión entre padres e hijos sobre el uso de las tecnologías y la protección de la privacidad digital.
La clave es adoptar un enfoque integral que involucre a todos los actores relevantes - padres, escuelas, legisladores y la sociedad en general - para garantizar la protección de los derechos digitales de los niños y adolescentes.
Conclusión:
El fenómeno del "sharenting" plantea importantes desafíos en torno a la privacidad digital de los niños y adolescentes. Si bien los padres pueden tener la intención de compartir momentos significativos de la vida de sus hijos, esta práctica conlleva riesgos que deben ser considerados cuidadosamente. La exposición excesiva de información personal, imágenes y videos de menores en redes sociales y plataformas en línea puede tener consecuencias negativas para su desarrollo, seguridad y autonomía. Además, el "sharenting" puede generar problemas de identidad, acoso cibernético y la pérdida de control sobre la propia narrativa digital de los niños a medida que crecen.
Para abordar esta problemática, se requiere un enfoque integral que involucre a todos los actores relevantes: padres, educadores, legisladores y la sociedad en general. Es fundamental promover la conciencia sobre los riesgos del "sharenting", fomentar el consentimiento de los menores, establecer pautas y políticas claras, fortalecer la regulación, desarrollar habilidades de alfabetización digital y facilitar el diálogo intergeneracional. Solo a través de esfuerzos coordinados y la adopción de medidas concretas podremos garantizar la protección de los derechos digitales de los niños y adolescentes, preservando su privacidad, seguridad y autonomía en el entorno en línea.
Referencias:
Somolinos, A. Z. (2022). El" sharenting", una cuestión de patria potestad (¿ y de protección de datos?). Revista Crítica de Derecho Inmobiliario, 98(793), 2769-2784.https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=8665921
Romero Fernández, L. (2024). Exposición de menores en redes sociales: el fenómeno de las “Instamamis” y el “Sharenting” (Bachelor's thesis).https://rodin.uca.es/handle/10498/33473
Azurmendi, A., Etayo, C., & Torrell, A. (2021). Sharenting y derechos digitales de los niños y adolescentes. Profesional de la información, 30(4). https://revista.profesionaldelainformacion.com/index.php/EPI/article/view/85823
Nieto, Y. L. (2024). Los derechos de la personalidad de los menores de edad y el fenómeno del sharenting. Revista Derechos Humanos y Educación, 1(9), 63-81. https://revistaderechoshumanosyeducacion.es/index.php/DHED/article/view/164 Guevara, F. M. A. A., Peralta, E. C. O., Martínez, A. M. R., & Azcárate, L. A. D. (2022). Protección de los derechos fundamentales de los niños en la era digital. Encuentros. Revista de Ciencias Humanas, Teoría Social y Pensamiento Crítico., (Extra), 364-380. http://www.encuentros.unermb.web.ve/index.php/encuentros/article
You're not a 'family vlogger,' you're an abuser.
You're not an 'influencer', you're an exploitation artist.
You're not a 'snark youtuber protecting the rights of children'. you're a second-hand exploiter.
You're not a 'former child actor/influencer.' You're a survivor.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk
