#severance headcanons

Helly R

You and Helly together would certainly be a force to be reckoned with

You help each other come up with escape plans, all of which unfortunately fail or Mark shuts down before you even try them

Despite the failures and hopelessness, though, she’d find a lot of joy hanging out with you

She would try to sneak into the elevator at the same time as you after work so your outies could meet

If your relationship becomes romantic, she would love kissing you at the most inappropriate times. Mostly because she just likes kissing you, but also because she knows someone is always watching and wants to piss off management lol

Mark S

Mark didn’t think he could ever have another best friend after Petey, but you prove him wrong

You make him laugh and smile, even on the days he comes in looking sad and hungover

He can never remember why, of course, but you’re there for him either way. You both just have to make peace with the fact his outie is going through some shit you’ll never know about

He’d be very sweet with you as he’s training you, he knows how weird being a new hire can be so he’s very gentle with you and Helly when you start

I think he’d be a slow burn office romance kinda guy, so if you do end up advancing your relationship, he will definitely not be the one making the first move. If you like him you’re just going to straight up tell him lol he will not get it otherwise

Dylan

Your relationship with Dylan is mainly competition and messing with each other

You’ll steal his finger traps when he’s not looking and sabotage/distract him from work so you win more prizes than him

Your teasing of each other is both extremely annoying and endearing for your other coworkers

You like to hang out and chat with him by the vending machines, getting excited whenever a new snack is added

Irving

Irving would be surprised that a fifth person is joining MDR, but he soon finds the more the merrier

He likes that with an additional person the work gets done faster and the quarterly quotas are less stressful

If you’ll indulge him, he likes taking you on walks and field trips and yapping about Eagan history

Sometimes you help him out by standing watch while he takes a nap in the supply closet lol. Let this man take a snooze fr

Harmony

A friendship or relationship with Harmony would probably go similarly to how she treated Mark, let’s be real

She’d be a little obsessed with you in her own weird way, and she’d pursue your outie as well if possible

If you manage to get past her cold exterior, I honestly think she could be very caring to someone she actually cares about. As long as you don’t get in the way of her and Kier lol

Mr. Milchick AKA Milkshake

This guys can be very scary and unsettling, but if you don’t mind that? He would be so fucking fun to hang out with

I think he can sing as well as he dances. You catch him humming and singing little tunes sometimes

Since he’s not severed, he’d sometimes accidentally slip things about your outie, since he knows both versions of you

He would resist any affection towards you, but inevitably a flirty comment would come out and you’d just stare at him in shock

Natalie

As the spokesperson for the Lumon Board, Natalie really isn’t supposed to have relationships with coworkers, especially not severed ones

But whenever she’s 99% sure they’re not listening, she likes to spend time chatting with you

You’re fascinating to her, and if you get close enough she might even start seeing you as a real person

Ms Casey

You’re her favorite client by far, and seeing you on her schedule always brings a smile to her face

You’d fake not feeling well a LOT just so you can have more wellness sessions with her

On the rare occasion she gets to leave the wellness office, she loves hanging out with you in MDR