SMAU | PAIRING: scaramouche x f!reader

SUMMARY: You were rejected by Scaramouche multiple times when the two of you were in high school, never learning how to give up on him. Though, in your first year of university you set your sights on another boy in your research methods lecture. How will your past unrequited love determine your future?

status: on-going (started: 6/11/26) | taglist: CLOSED

genres: social media AU, modern AU, angst, fluff, romance (whatever you want it to be :3)

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author’s notes: first SMAU, please wish me luck! I have no clue what i’m doing so i’m just as lost as you guys..

(✏️ indicates a written portion)

PROFILES:

— world dictators

— chudmaxxers

FIRST SEMESTER:

at least get his name ✏️

dick-getter mcgee

situationship

another win for the ogs

best day ever

hater nation ✏️

the date ✏️

aftermath

see you

grocery store encounters ✏️

movie night ✏️

the date ✏️

You spot Lohen already seated at a small table when you walk in. Having been a little bit late, you adjust your clothes for one last time before approaching him.

“Hey!” you smile at him, pulling out the chair in front of him and sitting down.

He looks up at you, previously gazing on his phone. He smirks a little, “I almost predicted that you wouldn’t show.”

You laugh, trying to alleviate the tension between the two of you. “Sorry about that, I didn’t account for the traffic there would be.”

“It’s alright, as long as you make it up to me next time,” he places his phone down on the table with the screen facing up. A small sign of trust.

“Next time?” you think to yourself. “We already are at a point for our second date?”

Your face flushes for a second before you get a hold of yourself.

“Don’t worry, i’ll be early for our next meeting,” you reply coyly.

Lohen picks up one of the menus sitting at the table, looking through the multiple pages. You follow his lead, sifting through one yourself.

A waitress comes by and gathers your orders before quickly walking away. Settling you both back in the awkward tension.

“I didn’t think you’d be a tea guy,” you say in an attempt to make conversation.

“Coffee has too much caffeine for me, I like getting black tea because it has smaller amounts.”

You laugh, and Lohen looks at you like he is puzzled.

And he is right to be puzzled, nothing he recited was humorous. The real joke was how similar he was to Scaramouche without knowing it. Scaramouche strictly preferred black coffee due to its bitter taste, and now Lohen is mirroring it with black tea.

It isn’t a crazy similarity, but one that was significant enough that you noticed.

The conversation began to follow, and before you knew it the two of you were discussing high school. Asking one another stupid questions, like “do you think we would’ve be friends” or “what would your impression of me be like.”

It was until Lohen asked you about your friends. He said it with a sly smile on his face, not unusual in a conversation such as yours, but it felt unsettling.

You brushed it off, blaming it on the fact you simply didn’t like talking about what happened to your friends in high school.

“I was in a pretty small friend group, in my freshman year it was about six of us. Though, as the years went on that number dwindled,” you explain.

Lohen perks up, “why was that?”

“Uhm, one of the girls was a couple years older than us, so she graduated before the majority. Same thing happened the next year after that. It left about four of us in total.”

“Do you still talk to your old friends?”

You begin to get nervous, fidgeting with your sleeves. “No, I don’t. We just had a bit of a falling out is all!”

“What happened?” Lohen finally asks the question you’ve been dreading.

“I grew apart from my best friend, and I guess that just happened with the other two as well,” you say carefully.

You weren’t lying per se, but you weren’t explaining the full extent of it.

Yes, you and Scaramouche grew apart, but it more complicated than that. And the other two followed him, which what did you expect? They always seemed to like Scaramouche more.

As if your thoughts seeped through to reality, Lohen’s phone lit up with messages from none other than Scaramouche.

“Excuse me, I think it might be important,” Lohen grabs his phone and opens the messages, seeming pleased with himself. The expression on his face could only be described as the pride you feel after pulling off a prank.

As he set the phone down, you suppressed your negative thoughts along with it.

The date went on without incident, but something felt slightly off ever since Lohen pried into your past.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: jealous scara 🥹

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roster or notser

AUTHOR’S NOTE: uhhh two chapters one day? we are having our cake and eating it (to everyone who read it early, i’m so sorry the screenshots were misplaced)

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grocery store encounters ✏️

After receiving Kokomi’s text asking to grab some drinks, you head out to the nearest grocery store. It was estimated to be around a fifteen minute walk there, then a twenty minute walk to Childe’s house, which you weren’t too fond of.

The walk wasn’t the issue, it was the night sky. Everyone knows it’s not safe to walk alone at night, and you weren’t an exception to this rule. But, as a broke university student, it didn’t seem like the most efficient use of your money to buy an uber.

On the walk to the grocery store, you couldn’t help but think about what Scaramouche said. Kazuha and Childe wanted to see you? He wanted to see you? It felt like a fever dream.

Of course you wanted to see Kazuha and Childe, there was a point you used to consider them your best friends. But what was the point of rekindling if they could abandon you all over again? Would they even been able to make up all of the lost time? Or would they set back your personal progress by months?

You shake your head at your thoughts. You know you’re applying too much pressure onto the situation but you can’t stop. You’ve gone through a lot in your life, though you can say feeling worthless was the worst of it.

Snapping out of it, you try to think of the positives. Your date with Lohen, while admittedly he acted a bit strange, you still had a lot of fun. You almost forgot how it felt to have someone actually interested in getting to know you, all of you. Or positives like the friends you have now. You don’t know if you would’ve survived this far without them, and that’s why you don’t want to burden them with your past.

It’s your past, your responsibility to shoulder, no one else’s.

Though, some talks of Scaramouche have slipped out since becoming friends with everyone—but who could blame you?

Finally, you make it to the grocery store’s automatic doors. You quickly walk over to the drink aisle and pick up a liter of coke to replace the one Itto exploded. You take a glance around at some other sodas, and walk further down the aisle to find something else to pick up.

A cart of dango milk catches your eye, reaching out to grab it you accidentally bump into someone else.

Your hands both on the same beverage, you look to see who is it in order to apologize, but when you look up you’re too stunned to say anything.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice you had your eyes on this as well-“ she cuts herself off. “Wait, is that really you?”

She calls out your name, and it feels like the whole world turned upside down.

Ei, a fourth year university student, and also Scaramouche’s elder sister.

“How long has it been? It feels like forever since you stopped by to see me and kuni,” Ei smiles, recalling fond memories.

You try to put yourself together in order to say something but it takes all your strength.

“Yeah, it’s been some time. It’s good to see you though,” you return the smile and advert your gaze.

While Ei was Scaramouche’s older sister, she also was his primary guardian. And to put in bluntly, he hated her with all of his guts.

You never had an issue with Ei, you could even say you guys felt more like family than anything else at a time, but that’s all gone now.

Ei notices your behavior and furrows her eyebrows. “Don’t tell me kuni has been causing you trouble, that boy is going to be the death of me.”

“No, no! it’s not that! I’m just shocked to see you,” you recover.

“Hmm, well i’d love to go grab something to eat with you someday, you know I always said I thought you’d be my sister in-law,” Ei replies, saying words like it’s nothing.

Your eyes widen involuntarily. Ei always liked to make those comments, and at first you used to fight her on it, saying you’d rather die before marrying Scaramouche—but now you’d rather die than admit you would.

You make a poor attempt to laugh at her joke “like i’ve always said, marrying Scaramouche would be a fate worse than death.”

“Scaramouche? Why are you using formalities? You always call him Kuni or Scara,” Ei looks like she caught you in a trap.

“I guess that’s what university does to you,” making up an excuse, you try to escape the conversation.

Ei notices, “I shouldn’t be holding you here, but stay in touch,” she calls out to you before grabbing the cartoon of dango milk and walking away.

As soon as she was gone, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

You pay for the soda in the self-check out and head out of the store, trying to calm yourself down.

This entire week felt like you were trying to speed run having a panic attack.

While walking on the way to Childe’s house, things started to feel wrong.

It feels like someone’s watching you, or like there is an extra pair of footsteps behind you. But everytime you turn around, no one is there.

“How paranoid can I get,” you ask yourself, trying to make humor out of the situation.

You’re thirteen minutes out from Childe’s house when the footsteps get louder. You pick up your pace, walking fast enough that it could be considered a jog.

It all comes to a collapse when you feel someone’s hand on your shoulder. Whipping your head around you see a random man, likely in his late thirties. You try to wiggle out of his grasp but your attempts are futile.

“Could I help you?” you ask with malice in your voice. The best thing you could do was act like you weren’t scared.

The guy just smiles, grabbing your wrist and trying to pull you into an alleyway. You begin to struggle more, yelling at him “let me go you weirdo!”

Your yells fall on deaf ears, and you close your eyes, preparing yourself to kick this guy in the nuts and make a run for it.

But someone beats you to it as you hear a loud smack, followed by a thud.

You open your eyes to see someone standing in front of you, shielding you from the strange guy.

“Don’t touch her, you freak,” the person yells, and you recognize the voice.

They turn around to face you and you feel your knees buckle.

“Scara..?”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i felt like alexander hamilton pushing this one out, the first taglist is also closed! but don’t worry i’ll get the second one started soon

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best day ever

AUTHOR’S NOTE: no notes, the wind is about to take me..

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see you

movie night ✏️

“Scara?”

You blinked a couple times, trying to figure out if you were seeing things. Maybe Kokomi was right, you did need to get on medication.

“Are you.. okay?” Scaramouche asks, slight hesitation hinted in his voice.

You snap out of your daze

“Yeah sorry, I was just caught off guard.”

“It’s fine, why were you out here alone anyways? You should’ve asked someone to go with you,” Scaramouche reprimands you. You finally take the initiative to look up at him.

When you make direct eye contact with him it feels like the world turned upside down, your world

You quickly glance away, “Oh wow, so now you’re blaming me for this? What a nice guy you are.”

Scaramouche sighs, “you know that’s not what I meant, I just—“ he cuts himself off, trying to find the right words.

I just wish you would’ve called me

“I know, I know, I was just messing around with you,” you adjust your hold on the grocery bag and begin to start walking again.

He follows behind and grabs the bag from your grasp.

“I’m not weak or something, I can hold my own bags.”

Scaramouche keeps his eyes staring ahead, “I don’t think you’re weak, you just shouldn’t have to hold your own things while i’m here.”

Without him knowing, those words unraveled months of progress.

Before everything happened between the two of you, Scaramouche used to act like your boyfriend—or at least he did boyfriend-ly duties.

He’d stand on the outside of the sidewalk, carry items for you, tie your shoe. Little things that meant the world.

People used to joke that the two of you were like an old married couple. The way you two could bicker but then do acts of each other that you wouldn’t do for anyone else.

At first, you both took the jokes as annoying. You didn’t like when others misconstrued your guys’ relationship.

But as the rumors grew, so did your feelings.

And that was your first mistake.

You finally turned to look at him, really look at him.

His hair had grown out a bit, it suited him nicely.

“So, how did you know I was here anyways?” you ask breaking the silence.

Scaramouche cocks his head to return your gaze. “Kokomi and Yoimiya were worried because you were taking so long. They sent me out to get you.”

Your eyes widened. Yoimiya and Kokomi sending Scaramouche out of anyone to come check on you?

“I’m happy for you,” he says out of nowhere.

Your mouth falls slightly agape as you stare at him.

He looks away from you, “though, I doubt it means anything to you now.”

“What are you happy for me about? I almost just got kidnapped five minutes ago?” you retaliate.

“I’m not talking about that obviously,” he spits out with attitude. “You have a lot of people that love you—“ he pauses.

“And I guess i’m happy because that’s all you’ve ever deserved.”

You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or laugh. But you ended up taking the latter option. Laughing so hard you could topple over.

Scaramouche gives you the dirtiest look he could muster. “Why are you laughing? I’m trying to be heartfelt, you know i’m not very good at this.”

You can barely hear him over your own thoughts.

The irony in him saying all you ever deserved was love.

You wanted so badly to scream out at him. Tell him that he could’ve been the one to give you that love; that he was the one to give you that love.

But instead, you held your tongue and kept laughing like you don’t know what else to do.

“Sorry,” you choke out. “I’m not laughing at you I promise.”

He raises an eyebrow, “then what are you laughing about?”

“Don’t worry about,” you murmur out an excuse. “Thank you Scaramouche, I hope one day that love finds you too.”

For the first time in months, you smile at him, and he questions how he ever lived without it.

You look at his face but you can’t tell what he is thinking at all. The night sky reflects itself back at you through his eyes, and you swore it felt like you were back in your seventeen year old body, looking at the boy you fell in love with.

“Yeah well, don’t thank me yet. Lohen told me that he is joining the movie night as well,” Scaramouche mumbles out.

If you didn’t know any better, you would say that the tone in his voice was jealousy, but you knew Scaramouche. You knew that he would never let go of you if he didn’t want to.

So, you sallowed back those feelings you once harbored for him.

“I’m excited to see him,” you perk up.

Scaramouche nods, “So the date went well?”

“I think so, it was my second date ever so to be honest I don’t have much to go off on.”

Scaramouche’s movements faltered momentarily when he heard your words. The implication that he has been your first and only date for years weighing on him.

You two of you finally approach Childe’s front porch after what felt like hours.

“Thanks again for saving me,” you smile.

Scaramouche sighs, “I know you would’ve handled it if I wasn’t there.”

“Sure, but it’s nice to know you’re still on my side.”

Your words feel like an arrow shooting through his heart. Just as he was about to say what he had wanted to the whole walk, the front door flew open and out came Yoimiya.

Tackling you into a hug, Yoimiya screams “I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!”

Behind her was Itto, looking like a puppy with its tail tugged in between its legs. He took a step forward to Scaramouche and exchanged a few words with him.

Scaramouche looked back at you one more time before heading inside.

“IM SORRY YOU HAD TO MAKE UP FOR MY MISTAKE!” itto yelled, rolling on the floor at your feet.

“Dramatic as ever,” you laugh. “I’ll let it slide this time, but if you ever make me pay for your stupid actions again i’m going to make you my target practice.”

“NO!” itto cried out. Yoimiya stepped forward and started play fighting with him while you just watched.

Scaramouche was right, you do have people that love you.

You just wished that he was one of them.

AUTHORS NOTE: rewriting this actually took months off of my life

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hater nation ✏️

The sound of your playlist buzzed off the walls as you swayed your body to the beat. You knew you had to go all out for this cafe date, even if it wasn’t technically a date. You finish applying your blush as the door to your dorm opens, revealing Kokomi.

“Someone is excited,” she laughs while setting down grocery bags. You glance back at her, smile plastered on your face.

“Well, I mean this is my second date ever.” You apply the last bit of lip gloss, and press your lips together, releasing them to make a popping sound.

Kokomi smiles at your action, digging through her bags to pull out popcorn and other various snack items. “Who was the last lucky guy to take you out,” she asks while still focusing on the food.

Your movements falter slightly as you remember the last time you went out with a guy.

It was junior year of High School, and some asshole just canceled on you minutes ago.

You and Scaramouche were in your room, he was laying on your bed, a normal thing for the time, while you got ready for this “date”.

“Why does this always happen to me,” you groan, throwing your head back in frustration after receiving the cancelation text. Scaramouche perched himself up on his elbows to look at you.

He tilts his head, asking what happened. When you told him about the situation, he frowned. “But you just finished getting ready.”

“I know! That’s why I am even more annoyed,” you look back at yourself in vanity mirror. Scaramouche smiles mischievously, like he just thought of a plan.

“What if I take you out?”

You quickly whip your head around, “WHA-“ you’re cut off by him.

“You were excited about this, it’d be sad to see this energy go to waste.” You look at him in the eyes, for any sign of hesitation or unwillingness. “Really? You’d do that?”

He scoffs, like you were asking a stupid question. “It’s the least I could do, plus you look pretty, it’d be a shame for people not to see you.”

That night was one of best nights of your life.

Within a couple hours you realized your feelings for Scaramouche went deeper than platonic love, he was all you ever desired.

Kokomi calls out your name, finally breaking you out of your thoughts. “Sorry! I was just thinking. The last time I went out was fun, just wasn’t the right guy,” you mutter out quickly.

Everything you felt for Scaramouche was futile, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Seeing all of the snacks laid out on the bed you glance at Kokomi. “What are those for?”

“Oh, Thoma made some friends in one of his classes and they invited us to a movie night at their place!”

You frown, “why wasn’t I aware of this?”

“Well I assumed you’d be busy with your big date,” she smirks. “But if you’re up for it you can come once you’re done!”

“Huh, i’ll think about it.”

You check the time on your phone, seeing the bright 2:15 you pack up your purse and look at yourself one more time.

“Alright! Well i’m off to go have the best date of my entire life,” you call out cheerfully.

“Have fun! And stay safe,” Kokomi yells from behind you as you run out the door.

And you hoped that you could convince yourself that this would be the best date ever, even when you knew it would never compare.

It doesn’t matter anymore, you tell yourself once again.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: does this classify as angst..? hmm decisions decisions

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