#second sweep

"I want to reassure you that I am telling you this [don't let relapses discourage you] because it is quite normal for the process of sleep change to be an uneven path. Try to think of this as normal and you will find it much easier to deal with." - Colin Espie, Overcoming Insomnia, p.90

And so I come to the second sweep. I completed the first sweep May-July 2011, when my sleep, and relationship to sleep, improved greatly, and changed, for good, forever. My attitude towards sleep became more normal, automatic, and far less anxious. Even a run of a few night's sleep used to be enough to drive me to despair. After my first sweep of using the Glasgow Sleep Centre's programme (mainly the behavioural changes associated with sleep restriction and sleep hygiene) I lost the anxiety and could get generally restorative, replenishing sleep (with about a maximum block of 5+1/2hrs from falling asleep, and an average of 7hrs overall).

But then a couple of life pressures brought on a relapse. It's important to note what these were:

Pushing forward with 'two jobs' in writing a novel as part of a PhD, and doing the 'day job' and a different body of research; basically, moving from deadline to deadline to deadline without a break from January to March 2012

Injuries which stopped me running--very much to do with the above and sitting down for 10-hours a day and not stretching properly

A crisis point in a relationship

These all coordinated around a point in mid-March. And I a) stopped sleeping properly at the same time as b) stressing about the relationship and c) being creatively burnt out from 55-days of writing and d) unable to relieve the stress through running.

And so here I am, beginning again... carrying on with sleep change. As Colin Espie says, it's an uneven path. I had thirty years of poor sleep. Now, on the other side, I cannot expect it never to be bad again.

So. There's lots I've already got my head around that will inform this sweep. Such as:

The insomnia keeps me in the position of victim and 'unable to act/decide'

It's not the insomnia: it's a symptom and tool of anxiety

But that the insomnia lays down the vicious circle which depletes the energy to deal with the anxiety

What anxiety? Well. That's for another post. Importantly I just want to mark down what I'm doing here today, in Day #1:

Set sleep window to 1130-600 (expecting four sleep cycles of 90mins each + the half hour of falling asleep and waking up)

Going to get some sleep tablets to break the cycle

Following daily stretching and meditation

AND... following with cognitive as well as the behavioural parts of the programme

The only other thing to do today is to set my sleep goals (final and intermediate steps towards that). I'll do that linking off a page.