#second option

"was I ever an option?"

"what do you mean?"

"you heard me."

"I-"

"was i ever an option?"

"come on, you're drunk."

"why are you not answering my question?"

sana says nothing.

you're starting to get frustrated.

yes, it is obvious to anyone, you're drunk. but does that allow sana to not answer?

drunk words are sober thoughts.

maybe sana tries to forget about that saying.

maybe she just doesn't want to say anything.

"so?" you ask her.

"some day you have to answer, it makes no difference if it is right now or weeks after." your words slurred.

she sighs, not wanting to accept that you're right.

"i don't know honestly." she answers.

your heart aches when she speaks.

"i don't fucking know okay?"

she doesn't want to talk about this.

she just wants to call you an uber which drops you off at your small apartment.

"why did you kiss me then?" you ask, looking at her.

your apartment, where you made too many memories with her.

"i don't know"

your apartment, where she took your virginity.

"you wanted to forget everything about him?"

"every single thing." she answers.

it feels like she is the one that is drunk - like she is the one that can't think clearly.

"so you used me?" you ask stupidly, knowing the answer.

"i-"

she doesn't continue talking.

you think about calling that uber yourself.

"i thought you were someone that is so good with their words" you say.

she just looks at you, not knowing what to say.

and maybe, problably, you were right.

you sigh, getting up and taking your jacket with you.

she grabs your cold wrist, and you look down at her.

"y/n-" she says.

a bad habit of hers, she starts to talk without even knowing what exactly she wants to say.

"i never was an option, why do you want me now?" you ask.

sana doesn't know what to answer.

maybe it is better that way, one answer would get you crying in her arms.

"let me go" her grip is tight around your wrist.

"please" you mutter.

she lets go, her slim fingers brush over your hand when you pull away and walk away.

she watches after you, even thinks about running after you.

as much as she wants to be a good person though, she knows you are going to come back.

as much as she wants you to be happy and find love, she will use you over and over again.