#schemas

child modes

vulnerable child - rei

she seems self-centered and distant. both asuka and shinji are a little surprised at her attitude at the begining, with asuka firmly believing she must hate her or have an immense ego. but rei actually hates herself and feels alone. she also believes that there's something wrong inside her. and, about her relationships, she understand others deeply and cares about them at some level. she presents depressive symptoms and, even though she doesn't want to be alone, she isolates herself most of the time because she has been abandoned and emotionally neglected all her life.

angry child - shinji

he damages others, especially asuka, because of his repressed rage. he screams "be nice to me!" and demands answers from others about himself and his feelings. he believes he has been wronged and betrayed but the world. that's quite the reason he initially choses instrumentality. he is bitter and feels like a victim. he always doubts himself and feels vulnerable, so he ends up reacting violently when he feels his needs are not being satisfied. but I would argue that he only displays his rage when he feels it's safe enough to do it. for example, again, with asuka. he wouldn't treat gendo that way. with misato, it's more a passive-aggressive response.

impulsive child (but also vulnerable child) - asuka

this is mainly because of her reactive formation, as she is also a vulnerable child, but she does present some impulsive qualities. her own battle with azrael is prove of that. she fights recklessly and ends up putting herself in danger because of her need to validate herself through piloting. she gets aggressive when she feels intimidated or surpassed in areas that give her self validation in general. she also adopts an entitled persona, as part of her vulnerable child schema, to hide her true insecure self from others. she won't admit how much she craves others affection, so she pushes them away.

Children have real understanding only of that which they invent themselves, and each time that we try to teach them too quickly, we keep them from reinventing it themselves.

- Jean Piaget

Jean Piaget was a Swiss psychologist and genetic epistemologist. He is most famously known for his theory of cognitive development that looked at how children develop intellectually throughout the course of childhood.

Prior to Piaget's theory, children were often thought of simply as mini-adults. Instead, Piaget suggested that the way children think is fundamentally different from the way that adults think.

Piaget's theory had a tremendous influence on the emergence of developmental psychology as a distinctive subfield within psychology and contributed greatly to the field of education. He is also credited as a pioneer of the constructivist theory, which suggests that people actively construct their knowledge of the world based on the interactions between their ideas and their experiences.

His early work with Binet's intelligence tests had led him to conclude that children think differently than adults. While this is a widely accepted notion today, it was considered revolutionary at the time. It was this observation that inspired his interest in understanding how knowledge grows throughout childhood.

He suggested that children sort the knowledge they acquire through their experiences and interactions into groupings known as schemas. When new information is acquired, it can either be assimilated into existing schemas or accommodated through revising an existing schema or creating an entirely new category of information.

Today, he is best known for his research on children's cognitive development. Piaget studied the intellectual development of his own three children and created a theory that described the stages that children pass through in the development of intelligence and formal thought processes.

Don’t try to be unique - Why try to be what you already are?

Don’t try to be special - It’s better to lift everyone up then be ‘better’ than others on your own

If you believe you aren’t interesting- remember, you’re unique and unique is always interesting.

If you don’t think you’re unique, remember, anything you do, nobody else can do it exactly the same as you. Nobody has the same feel, presence or atmosphere to them as you. Nobody can speak the way you do with the same tone, same voice, same words, same context and the same emotions.

Even if you’re doing a job that “anyone can do”, nobody can do the job exactly the way you do it- how you relate to your colleagues, the way you write your reports,how you relate to your clients, what attitude you bring to work and even down to the way you sit in your chair- that is all completely and totally unique to you.

Two butchers cannot butcher an identical product. Similar but always different, unique carve marks left behind.

We all have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, two ears, a face, a neck, a torso and two arms and two legs. That makes it sound like we’re all identical- but you know we are not.

The idea is the same but execution is always unique.

I’m sure somebody has already thought this before- But nobody has ascribed these exact words to the thought. And nobody has spoken these exact words today, in this exact social and cultural context. And good ideas deserve to be heard and shared again and again. Cycling through us, born and reborn again, casting a warm light along those it brushes against.

As Elizabeth Gilbert puts it in her book The Big Magic, all possible story arcs have been explored already but that doesn’t stop people from writing more books exploring the same story arc.

Lastly, if you think you need to be special to matter, that must be really difficult for you.

First of all, that is a lot of demand to put on a simple human need for belonging.

Being thought of as special and feeling like you matter isn’t the same thing. Although to many, including me, it can sometimes feel that way.

Especially if attention was denied to you at an early age, or provided conditionally (e.g. when you behave particularly well or badly), you tend to believe that you need to work hard to deserve to be seen (to matter) - and that can very quickly turn into believing that being significantly better/worse than others is a requirement for feeling like you matter to the people you love.

So what’s the difference between feeling special and feeling like you matter?

When you feel like you matter, people acknowledge and recognise you as belonging to the space. You’re awarded the same respect and priorities as everyone else in the room.

Being special is people considering you to be superior compared to others and awarding you more respect and more priority than others in the room.

For most people, being special is an uncomfortable and I dare say, even a lonely experience at best because you’re excluded from belonging. And belonging, is a fundamental need.

Please remember you’re interesting and unique and you matter and nobody else can be you. It’s been told many times before, and it’ll be told many times again in the future.

Yes: unlearning deeply ingrained habits you forged when you were living with your parents is a long and difficult process. Feeling responsible for your girlfriend’s emotions is a particularly tough one to break - I highly recommend finding a psych to work with in this one. 

Habits you get from my parents or that you learn from surviving your parents are really, really, really tough to break because they form schemas for you: hard-wired frameworks by which you interpret and respond to yourself and the world. Like weeds, these schemas become very ingrained in your identity and I won’t be able to give you any useful advice about how to undo that damage over tumblr. There will be all sorts of places in you this feeling of being responsible for the thoughts and emotions of others will be hard-wired. It will take a lot of exploring to find and unravel them. 

les petits éléments qui m’ont servis à faire les nombreuses infographies explicatives de la création monétaire pour la Revue Durable.

which is great on a surface level-- the order is an indulgence of milkshakes instead of the meal they budgeted for, what a silly mistake. They tell the Eden Agent that they’ve never seen you, or that there’s nothing to the rabbit trail they’ve been following

but if there’s anything deeper than that, it that messes with the emotions and their motivations for doing things. If there was a person counting on, “I need to present information about the birdmen for my paycheque/family” then suddenly it’s not “I have this info to input” it’s “I’m lying and when they find out I’m screwed”