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The Man in Black - ItaSaku

For @vesperlionheart Happy birthday!

Also thought I’d try my hand at fantasy/myth…stuff…and then weather came into the anchorage and yes, I know I’m late (what else is new???)

The Man in Black ItaSaku

Sakura saw him the first day at her new job. The hospital was always full of people of different looks and sizes. She never took a second glance at the young man in a black shirt and black jeans. Especially not when there was a code blue on her floor.

The next she had seen him had been a few days later. He had been dressed in a black suit. His sleek, dark hair tied back and falling down his shoulder. He said nothing. Only sat with one leg over the other and his hands clasped neatly in his lap. Like some businessman waiting for a meeting. Sakura paused when she recognized him but she had been unable to stop and speak with him as another code was called.

Months passed. And every so often Sakura would see that same man. He dressed differently each time, but always looking his best. A suit, a nice pair of pressed jeans, a silk dress shirt.

Sakura began looking for him everywhere. In the cafeteria, the doctors lounge, the parking lot. Only her mysterious visitor was never there. He always remained outside the patient rooms. Sitting quietly. As if he had nowhere else to be.

“We’ve checked our sutures, the patient’s stats are stable and there’s no sign of any distress,” Sakura told the class of to-be-surgeons. “We are free to close the patient up. Any questions?”

She looked up then, eyeing first the few young doctors in the operating room before gazing up at the audience in the observation deck. Most were interns, dressed in scrubs with notebooks and pens in hand. There were a few fellow surgeons as well, but it was none of them that gave Sakura notice.

For in the back was a man with dark hair and darker eyes dressed in all black.

Through the glass, their eyes met. And in that moment, the blood in Sakura’s veins froze. Her mouth moved before her mind did.

“Stop!” she told the surgical nurses, halting them in their tracks. “We missed something.”

They stared her with obvious surprise in their eyes but said nothing as they handed her tools back to her. No one spoke as Sakura returned to the patient, her hands exploring their open chest. There was nothing, nothing wrong. No bad sutures or missed clots. Everything was fine…

The same instant Sakura found the bleed, the screen monitoring the patient’s vitals sounded.

It took nearly an hour and a hell of a fight. The small bleed ruptured and the young woman on the table crashed twice. Each time, Sakura brought her back, calling for tools and more blood, fighting until her patient was finally stable once more.

When Sakura finally walked out of the OR, she was exhausted, weary but relieved. Nearly high off the adrenaline of such an intense surgery.

A long sigh passed her lips as she slipped onto the bench just outside the surgery floor’s changing rooms. She smiled her thanks as a few fellow surgeons congratulated her on her success, but she didn’t chat long. All she wanted was a warm shower and a bed. It had been a long day.

And that had been Sakura’s plan. Until she looked up just in time to see the last of the interns file out of the observation deck, leaving the room empty. All except one.

Exactly where she had seen him earlier was the same man. With little regard for anything else, Sakura did her best not to outright sprint across the floor, her eyes never leaving him lest he disappear like he always did.

He didn’t move. Only turned his head to watch as she nearly slammed the door shut behind her, locking them in together.

It was the first time they had been this close. The first time they had been alone. There was something a little off about him…something she couldn’t quite name. She studied him quietly, carefully. Like the scientist she was, taking everything in before acting, deciding.

He was a very handsome man. With high cheekbones and a straight nose. His eyelashes were long, nearly sweeping his cheeks with every blink. They framed those eyes the color of coal. The ones that had long ago been burned into her memory.

It unnerved her a little she couldn’t quite guess his age. He appeared young, the pressed shirt and dark jeans making him appear boyish. But his eyes, his soul felt old. Like he had witnessed the beginning of time, like he had been there before it.

“What are you?” Sakura asked, the question tumbling out of her mouth.

She half-expected him not to answer. Half-expected him to laugh, as if he was anything but human. Instead he inclined his head fractionally, as if he was seriously considering her question.

“That would depend upon your beliefs and perceptions,” he said, his voice rich and yet spilling out of his mouth smoothly like gentle water over stone. It filled Sakura’s chest, soothing the misgivings and unease building behind her breast bone.

“I believe in science,” she told him.

“Then I do not exist in your world.”

“But you do,” she said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

The stranger canted his head minutely, studying her as something shifted behind his gaze. Vague interest, perhaps. Sakura wasn’t sure if the look brought her comfort or took it from her.

“Who are you?” she asked, breaking the silence before it could settle too deeply in her bones.

He shrugged one shoulder gracefully, as if he had been asked that vary question many times over. “I have been given many names. Some are kinder than others, though I do prefer Itachi.”

“And what is your purpose here, Itachi?”

This time, a small smile settled over his features as he regarded her. “You ask many questions. May I first ask one of my own? You have not yet given your name, Doctor.”

She hesitated, not quite sure if she should tell him or not. But she supposed it wouldn’t be terribly hard for him to learn it if he truly wanted to know for malicious purposes. The internet was an incredibly resourceful tool.

“Sakura, Doctor Haruno Sakura.”

“Sakura,” he repeated slowly, as if memorizing the word. Then he blinked and that calm, easy expression was back upon his face. “As a scientist, you must have come to some of your own hypotheses of who or what I am.”

And she had. Initially, she had thought him a family member. Or perhaps that he worked in the hospital. Only the more she saw him, the more she came to realize he was only ever present right before a death. He never spoke. He hardly ever moved. Just sat outside the patient rooms. The ones coding or about to code, and disappeared as soon as time of death was called.

Sakura laughed quietly, as if trying to emphasize her own ridiculousness at the next words out of her mouth. “I would say you’re Death, but no such thing exists like that in the world.”

Itachi didn’t share her amusement. Only stared back. His fathomless, black eyes boring into hers.

Sakura’s smile fell slowly, a heavy feeling of unease settling down and down into her chest. Dug a hole so deep she thought she might not draw another breath. “You’re Death,” she stated.

He didn’t respond, but his gaze fell downcast. She didn’t understand the look until she recalled his words. Sudden guilt struck her, melting her fear like ice dunked in boiling water.

“Itachi,” she corrected softly.

He looked up again. This time, she couldn’t quite read his expression. It seemed to shimmer across his face like a photo that changed shape at different angles. It was oddly comforting. But also left her uneasy.

Why was he here?

Automatically her eyes dropped down to the operating room where a worker was quietly wiping up the blood from the floor. When she turned back to Itachi, he was still watching her. Waiting for her to speak.

“That woman was supposed to die, wasn’t she?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“And I stopped her,” she said quietly, trying to keep the rising dismay out of her voice. “So, what happens next? Are you going to take a life for a life?”

A small smile appeared in the corner of Itachi’s mouth. Not sinister or menacing. More an amused, little quirk of his lips. “Death is not so malicious. I am not here for revenge,” he told her. “Rather, death fluctuates. A man crossing the street increases his chance of dying but it does not mean death will take him for certain. There is no invisible clock above your head. I am simply here to escort those that may cross over.”

Sakura felt her breath draw a little easier at that but the heavy stone that had settled in her chest still hadn’t quite faded. Staring back down into the operating room, it didn’t take her long to recognize the feeling she had tried since med school to push aside. Sorrow.

“Then that means my patients…”

“Age, race, wealthy or poor. Death does not discriminate. As a surgeon, even you must accept that you cannot save everyone.”

It was a fact every doctor knew, but it didn’t make the pill any less bitter to swallow. When she glanced back at Itachi, he was still watching her, an understanding smile upon his face. It eased her own self-directed frustration and grief.

Then she blinked and the look was gone. Itachi straightened. “I must go. I am needed elsewhere.”

Sakura didn’t know what she was expecting. Perhaps for him to stand and walk out of the room or to at least melt into the shadows. He did neither. He was simply there and then he was not.

Blinking, Sakura took a step back before she peered about the room. There was no evidence he had ever been there. No sign or breeze or whisper. She half-wondered if she made the whole conversation up. Her own exhausted mind playing tricks on her.

xx

As it turned out, her mind was not playing tricks on her. Sakura continued to see Itachi. She didn’t entirely understand why. It began to unnerve her a little. So much so that she took to internet searches and even a couple of glimpses in the local library to find any information. To her disappointment, there was nothing. No forums or websites full of stories of people seeing Death.

Itachi had seemed pleasant enough, but even as the weeks turned to months, Sakura couldn’t help but feel a little apprehensive every time she saw him. For he was still the man that escorted the dying to the dead.

On this particular day, it had been a busy shift for Sakura. So much so that for the first time in months she had forgotten about the man in black that always sat just outside the rooms of her dying patients. Her first two surgeries that morning had been a success. The next one had caused her a little trouble and by the time she had gotten out of it, her pager hadn’t stopped going off.

Sakura hadn’t even eaten lunch by the time dinner rolled around, but she didn’t notice her hunger. Not over her adrenaline as she pumped on a woman’s chest, doing everything in her power to keep the new mother’s blood circulating. In the background, her newborn cried, the sound almost drowned out by all the commotion in the room.

“What’re her stats at?” Sakura asked, stepping back to let another doctor continue compressions.

“Not good,” was the answer.

A deep frown settled on her mouth as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her wrist. She peered up at the monitor. Her pressure still wasn’t registering and they had yet to get a solid rhythm.

“Let’s push one more of Eppy,” Sakura ordered only too aware they were quickly running out of options. The dose of artificial adrenaline was their only chance left.

The room bustled with activity as the nurses and doctors jumped into motion. So much chaos in such a small space that she nearly missed the man dressed in black in the corner. Nearly.

No one else in the room seemed to notice him. All the attention on the unstable mother and the wellbeing of her newborn. A flash of cold went through Sakura the moment their eyes met. But it wasn’t fear for herself. Rather, for her patient.

In an instant, Sakura was moving again. She pushed the younger doctor’s hands out of the way to take over chest compressions once more. Whatever exhaustion she felt vanished as she worked with renewed vigor.

“Come on,” she chanted to herself and to the young mother below her. “Come on, come on. You can’t give up now.”

Sakura wasn’t sure how long she fought for. It felt like seconds had stretched into an eternity. And just when she thought there was nothing more she could do, she heard it. That familiar beep of a regular heart rhythm.

Sakura’s hands stopped, her eyes glued to the monitor, half-wondering she had imagined it, half-expecting it to stop when she saw she hadn’t. When it didn’t, she glanced at Itachi only to find he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes turned down as he tucked something into the pocket of his black suit.

Her confusion grew. She didn’t know what had happened. If he had intervened or if it had just not been the new mother’s time to go. However, Sakura wasn’t given the chance to wonder for too long. There was still a patient to attend to.

When Sakura finally left the room, it was late. The evening hours slunk into the halls as the night stole the lingering light on the horizon. For some reason she wasn’t entirely surprised to find Itachi standing at the window, watching the dark encompass the day. The dying sunlight threw his profile into harsh contrast and cast a long, creeping shadow behind him so dark she nearly couldn’t tell where it ended and he started.

Itachi didn’t greet her upon her approach and neither did she to him. Side-by-side, one living, one dead, they gazed through the window pane.

A long silence passed before Sakura spoke, “That woman was going to die. And then she didn’t.”

When Itachi didn’t answer, she glanced at him. There was no recognizable expression on his face but she got the impression that if he let her see, there would have been a frown upon his lips. When he did finally turn towards her, the feeling was gone.

“No, she did not,” he told her.

This time, it was Sakura’s turn to frown. And she let it show, not appreciating the vagueness of his reply. “She was down for a while. Medically speaking, she shouldn’t be alive. Nonetheless awake and talking. You did something. I know you did.”

“There is no reason to be so accusatory,” Itachi said. His expression remained unchanged as his gaze returned out the window once more. “Medical miracles have been known to take place before this instance.”

“I’m not so certain I believe in those anymore,” she told him, unable to keep the lingering suspicion out of her voice.

Beside her, Itachi shrugged, his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket. “Beliefs can change. After all, you did not believe in my existence until recently.”

“I’m still not sure that I do,” she told him, her tone giving away her skepticism. “It’s far more likely that I’m just going crazy.”

Itachi peered at her again, a faint smirk upon his lips. “You would know better than I. You are the doctor, after all.”

Sakura wasn’t quite sure she appreciated his teasing. Lest not when she was as exhausted as she was on this particular day but she let it go. “Why are you still here?”

Again, he shrugged. “I am always here. Even when you do not see me.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Because I go where I am most needed. And I am needed here,” he told her, his attention falling back to the outside world.

Sakura followed his gaze, watching the last traces of light vanish under the all-encompassing black hands of the night. A dozen stars were already sprinkling above, quiet little sparkles of hope in an otherwise empty sky.

They stayed that way for some minutes. Neither speaking. Just silent company as they both harbored their own thoughts. And just when Sakura considered walking away. To find food or a bed or both, Itachi spoke. His voice calm and collected as it always was. But also haunting.

“I’m sorry, Sakura,” he murmured sincerely.

She looked back at him, not understanding. “For what?”

“For everything that happens next.”

There was a strange look on his face. One she couldn’t place, but that stone tumbled down her chest and settled deep, deep in her stomach. She turned towards him as cold washed over her. “What did you do?” she demanded.

He said nothing. Only stared right back.

The stone sunk deeper. And in the next moment, she turned on her heels the same instant Itachi was gone. Already sprinting back towards the young mother’s room as a code blue was called.

xx

Sakura wasn’t sure how much time passed after that incident. She did everything in her power to ignore the man that haunted her. Her reality. Her dreams. But the more she blocked him out, the more she seemed to think about him. He was always there.

Their last conversation rolled over and over in her mind. Like a horrible song that wouldn’t get out of her head. She was angry. Indescribably so. She lost count of her sleepless nights and the number of meals that tasted of ash on her tongue as that frustration continued to burn inside her. So much so that some of her closest friends began to ask if she was alright. Still, she made a point to ignore the man in black. Refused to acknowledge his presence with even so much as a glance in his direction.

She didn’t understand why Itachi had done what he did. Why he would bother saving the woman just to let her die less than an hour later. He was a monster. He was Death. And she should have known better than to think of him as anything other than such.

But Sakura was a curious person by nature. And as the weeks turned to months, she had more questions than hate, and the burning rage slipped away to something quiet, softer. Death was death. And in the end, there was no saving anyone from it.

Tonight was a quiet night. Uncommon but welcomed in Sakura’s line of work. She took the brief moment of downtime to sit in one of the plastic chairs provided by the hospital. A moment to relieve the ache on the bottoms of her feet.

She was not surprised in the slightest when she felt another join her some minutes later. Itachi didn’t immediately speak. Just let the normal hum of the hospital fill the silent between them.

“Are you going in there?” he asked eventually.

Sakura stared ahead to the patient room across the way. Inside was an elderly woman. The monitor showed her stats as stable but Sakura was becoming very familiar with what Itachi’s presence meant. It was the very reason she had sat outside this particular room.

“No,” she said quietly. It was early morning. Only one or two nurses on the floor, but she didn’t dare break the easy silence that had settled over the halls. “Her family has requested no extraordinary measures be taken. They’re ready to let her go.”

Sakura felt Itachi’s gaze linger on her, but he didn’t speak. They simply sat side-by-side as they tracked the heart monitor. Waited for that moment when the woman would no longer be in Sakura’s care as she turned to Itachi’s.

After a few moments, Sakura glanced at the man beside her. He was dressed nicely but comfortably in a dark grey sweater, his hair tied neatly with his bangs framing those dark, dark eyes. However, it wasn’t his style of dress that interested her. She stared at him, really studying him as she took in his youthful features. He appeared her age, but his poise and manner of speech gave her the impression he was old. Much, much older than her.

“That woman was going to die. And then she didn’t,” Sakura said quietly, repeating the very same words she had said to him those weeks ago. Because even though she was still mad about the incident, she wanted answers. “You stopped her from dying.”

Itachi didn’t look at her but she could just as easily see the frown upon his face. “I cannot stop death. I can only slow its demise,” he corrected, his voice just as soft as hers.

“She died less than an hour after her heart restarted,” Sakura stated. Trying to get the facts out in the air. Trying to understand what they all meant. “Why would you do that if only for such a short time?”

He didn’t answer but his expression was full of purpose. As if he was waiting for her to draw her own conclusion.

She still didn’t understand. She had run it over and over again. What reasons he could possibly have. Of all the times Sakura had seen Itachi, he had never once interfered as he had for that woman. So, what had made him do it for the new mother?

Oh.

“You wanted to give her time with her baby,” Sakura concluded.

Again, Itachi remained silent but he looked away. Either unable or unwilling to show his thoughts to her. She didn’t have to ask to know she was right. Tears nearly sprung to Sakura’s eyes as unexpected emotion welled in her chest.

Spending so much time around death and sorrow, she had thought Itachi to be cruel and unjust. Now, sitting beside him with his soothing company and gentle eyes, she realized she’d had the wrong idea all this time. Death was not a monster but rather a blessing. A kind spirit who helped those who had died find their way to their final resting place.

Guilt washed over her but she didn’t voice her apology. Itachi was already looking at her with forgiveness in his eyes. As if he had already forgiven her long ago.

They sat in comfortable silence after that. Waiting, watching as the time passed by.

Eventually Sakura spoke again, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Just one?”

She couldn’t help but smile sheepishly. “Perhaps more than one.”

Itachi side-glanced at her but there was a small quirk in the corner of his mouth. He nodded his permission.

“You’re not the only one of your kind, are you?” Sakura asked. “I mean, I don’t fully understand the afterlife, or whatever, or your purpose, but it isn’t possible for you to lead everyone who has died to the other side all on your own. Right?”

When Itachi didn’t immediately answer, Sakura peered at him only to find he was watching her with a small smile. Like he was enjoying watching her work through her theory aloud. The expression nearly made her look away in embarrassment.

“No,” he said before she could. “There are many of us. Reaper is the name most of us have taken but we are referred to differently elsewhere in the world. I am not sure where the title originated. That is just what we were called long before I became one.”

“Became one?” Sakura repeated, her brow furrowing. “You weren’t…I don’t know, born one?”

Itachi laughed but shook his head. “None of us are born one. You become one. You are chosen after you die.”

“Then you were a person once,” she said, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.

“I was.”

Sakura peered into the patient room again. Stared at each track of the woman’s heart rhythm as she considered her next words. “Can I ask…?” she hesitated after a moment.

“How I died?” When she nodded, he leaned back in his chair, unbothered by the hard plastic beneath him. “It was many years ago. So long I cannot even remember how much time has passed since. I died protecting my brother. He was young and reckless. Acting without considering the consequences for his actions.

“Where I grew up, we had a lake just outside of town. The children used to play near it, swimming in the summer and sledding in the winter. It was a beautiful place and I have many fond memories there,” Itachi told her, a faint smile playing on his lips.

“So, what happened?” she pressed softly.

Like a cloud over the sun, his expression shifted, taking the light out of his eyes and darkening his features. “Winter came late that year. And the ice had not fully set in,” he told her quietly. “Sasuke went sledding that morning at the top of the hill. He landed on the lake and cracked the ice. I was able to push him out of the way before it broke completely.”

Sakura just stared at Itachi, observing all the faint emotions passing behind his eyes. She didn’t know if he had drowned or frozen to death, and she didn’t ask. Because even if his death had occurred life times ago, there was no mistaking the wistfulness in his gaze. She wondered who else he may have left behind. His mother and father. Best friends. Perhaps even a lover.

“I’m sorry,” Sakura murmured. Truly and honestly.

Itachi blinked the memories away before he turned to gaze at her. He smiled faintly, if only to lessen her sympathy. “It is nothing to be sorry for. I am relieved I was able to save him and he lived many years before passing on. I am happy now to help those who cross over.”

Still, Sakura couldn’t shake the hollowness that had settled deep in her gut. She didn’t speak for some minutes, even when a nurse walked by. The young woman nodded in greeting, her eyes never drifting to the man in the next chair over.

Sakura waited until the other woman was out of ear range before asking the one question she did and didn’t want to know: “Why is it that I can see you?”

Beside her, Itachi exhaled slowly. “That I cannot say. There is a fine line between life and death. One many walk every day.”

A frown settled upon her features at his answer. Sakura wanted to ask him more but she wasn’t given the opportunity as an alarm abruptly sounded in the patient room across the way. Both she and Itachi looked up at the same time.

Sakura knew that was her cue to go, but she didn’t immediately move to stand as she chanced a look over at Itachi. Only he was no longer there. The plastic, blue chair empty.

Without even having to check, Sakura knew the elderly woman was already gone. And for the first time, it wasn’t sadness that lingered deep in her chest. But rather warmth. Knowing that Itachi was there to help the woman cross over to whatever adventure awaited them next.

xx

The days began to blend together. The summer heat fading into the cooler autumn before the frost of winter began settling in during the early morning hours. Life continued as it normally did. Sakura went to work, performed whatever operations she was needed in before saying hello to Itachi as she checked on her ongoing cases.

Their conversations never lasted long, but she was becoming familiar with his manner of speech and his quiet, subtle humor. She found he was actually quite funny, his humor dry but sharp and quick-witted. It made her long shifts bearable and even rather enjoyable. Something she thought she would never think, knowing somewhere in the hospital someone was drawing their last breath.

But in her line of work, it was the little things that helped her push through during the worst of her worst days. Days like today.

Sakura exhaled through her mouth slowly, trying to keep her emotions on the inside of her body. She glanced down at the labs in her hands again, confirming for a fourth time what the results were telling her.

“Are you okay?”

Sakura recognized Tsunade, her former mentor and colleague’s voice. “I’m fine. My patient is not,” she told her, passing the chart over.

Without a word, Tsunade accepted it. Only the sound of paper flipping back and forth to fill the silence. Eventually the older woman passed the labs back. “This is your heart kid?”

“Yeah,” Sakura murmured.

Four years old and born with a heart that didn’t want to work properly. Sakura had been on the boy’s case the minute he was born. She had performed every operation, supervised every procedure and ordered every test she could think of to keep this boy alive. She had pushed his body to the limit. And now it was no longer responding to any treatment or drugs she ordered.

Swallowing back the knot at the base of her throat, Sakura looked over the nurses’ station towards the patient in question. The little boy – far too little to ever be in a bed in this building – was fading in and out of consciousness. One of the Cardiac nurses was in the corner of the room, helping keep him and his exhausted father comfortable.

“He won’t survive the morning,” Tsunade said gently. Understanding and sympathy warming her usually cool, professional tone.

Sakura nodded, unable to look at her. Knowing if she did, those emotions she was trampling down so hard would claw their way to the surface. “I know.”

Tsunade said nothing else. Just rested a comforting hand on her shoulder before she left.

Sakura sat for a minute longer before she made her way towards the hospital room. The hall was quiet, empty. But when she reached the sliding glass door, her gaze caught a lone figure sitting in a chair behind her. She hesitated, her eyes briefly meeting Itachi’s in the glass’s reflection. The lump behind her breast bone grew bigger, heavier.

He said nothing. And neither did she. Merely slid the door open and entered.

About thirty minutes before sunrise, Sakura called time of death, leaving the father in the nurse’s care when she could no longer be of any further comfort to him. In the early hours before the hospital halls came to life, Sakura went in search on an on-call room. A place to catch up on the sleep she had lost that night.

What she found instead was an empty staircase. She lowered herself onto a middle stair and exhaled a breath from her soul. Emotion welled in her chest. It crept up slowly, like a weed rising from the ground. Growing, spreading, blooming until even her heart struggled to beat correctly. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. A soft sob spilling from her lips as grief made itself at home in her chest.

“Sakura.”

She had felt Itachi kneel in front of her before he spoke, his comforting presence becoming familiar. But she didn’t acknowledge him. She didn’t know if looking him in the eye would make her feel better or worse. And she certainly couldn’t handle worse at that moment.

He called her name again, his voice settling over her and mixing in with the hurt. Two conflicting emotions tangling together and warring within her chest. She didn’t know how to speak, how to voice everything she wanted to say and couldn’t. In the end, she simply shook her head. Wishing he would just leave.

Hoping he would stay.

And he did. He didn’t speak. Simply straightened a hair that had fallen out of place before his fingers wrapped around her wrists. With a gentle tug, he pulled her hands away from her face, leaving her utterly and completely exposed to his viewing. She didn’t know what she was expecting. Certainly not the warm smile on his lips or the softness in his gaze.

“You are a kind soul,” Itachi told her. “You fought so hard. You did everything right.”

His words brought more tears to her eyes. She tried to look away but Itachi wouldn’t let her. She shook her head, letting slip a few more. “But it still wasn’t enough.”

“Do not take the blame for this,” Itachi murmured, his voice gentle with understanding. “It was his choice. He was ready.”

“He was four,” Sakura countered sharply.

Itachi didn’t take any offense to her harsh tone. He merely exhaled through his nose before he smiled again, one hand reaching up to wipe the dampness off her face. “He was an amazing boy. And full of so much more life and energy than his body could handle. But he was tired and he was ready to let go. He will miss his father, but I promise you this will not be the last they see of one other.”

Sakura wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. Itachi had always been vague with what laid beyond but she trusted him enough with this. The hurt in her chest throbbed again. No longer an ache that stole her breath away, but to something duller. Something manageable.

Sakura didn’t speak but she let her head rest in his palm. He eased her pain so flawlessly it nearly escaped her that it was the first time they had touched. For some reason, she had believed that he wasn’t allowed to. Or perhaps he simply couldn’t. Two souls side by side, yet an entire world apart. It surprised her to find that his hands were just like any other man’s. Soft and warm, yet strong and capable.

Sakura wasn’t sure how long she sat there, with her face in his hands, taking comfort in his touch. She didn’t remember moving from that spot. Didn’t recall climbing those last few stairs to reach the on-call room where she woke some hours later. She nearly wondering if she had dreamt of Itachi in that stairwell.

But she could just as well feel his soothing aura, curled and wrapped around her like a blanket as if he were there with her. That same emotion swelled in her chest again. Unhindered and free to take hold without her grief overshadowing it. She recognized the feeling but didn’t dare linger on the implications.

Because Sakura was a doctor. And Itachi was Death. And they could not both survive in the same world.

xx

That realization didn’t stop Sakura from continuing to think about him. Her dreams remained filled with thoughts of Itachi. But where unease and distrust lingered, warmth and happiness filled the void. She took to spending nights at the hospital.

Sitting in the quiet places where she could speak with Itachi privately without the eyes of the other staff. He always came. Sometimes their visits were cut short, but he always found her wherever she may be in.

Sakura sat alone at a table in the cafeteria. This late at night the kitchen was closed, the oven cold and the food stored away. Only the coffee machine in the corner still worked, but it was cheap and made the drinks a little too watery. She was certain no one would wander this way.

Outside, snow drifted down. Little flecks of white filling in the darkness, casting the world into a hush as if all were in awe of its beautiful. Sakura made herself comfortable, sipping from one of the two steaming mugs of hot chocolate as she watched it fall.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Sakura murmured.

She sipped from her mug before she turned her head towards Itachi. He looked so terribly handsome in his black sweater with the snow falling behind him, his dark hair tied neatly with his bangs framing his eyes just so. Her body warmed with heat that had nothing to do with her drink.

“It is,” he said, his eyes meeting hers unwaveringly. Then they fell to the mug laid out for him. “What is this?”

“It’s hot chocolate,” she said before she frowned as a sudden thought occurred to her. “Although, I wasn’t sure how exactly that worked with your…status and all.”

“My status?” Itachi repeated, his tone pitching slightly with amusement. “I can confidently say I have never heard it referred to as such.”

She flushed but smiled again when Itachi raised the deep blue mug to his lips and drank, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I feel no hunger nor thirst,” he told her quietly as he studied to contents of the cup. “But I recall I did used to have a sweet tooth. It drove my mother mad when I filled up on sticky bread before dinner. This is delicious. Thank you.”

Sakura drank from her own mug again, if only to distract from the way his words warmed her down to her very core. When she peeked back up, she found Itachi was still watching her, that easy smile on his mouth.

“And what about you?” he asked. “You have never told me.”

“If I have a sweet tooth? I’m pretty sure my body is fifty percent sugar at this point. The rest is caffeine,” she teased.

However, Itachi shook his head. “No, about your mother. You have never spoken of her.”

The smile faded from her lips as her gaze fell to her mug. “I don’t remember much of her. She left home when I was six. My father raised me, but our relationship was never that strong. I see him during the holidays but we don’t keep that close in contact.”

She looked up when Itachi reached across the table to lay his hand over hers. His touch still made her skin tingle, sending little sparks of pleasure shooting up her arm. “I am sorry about your mother,” he said.

Sakura shrugged it off. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”

“Even time cannot heal all wounds.”

She wondered if he was thinking about his own mother. Or perhaps even his father or brother, but she didn’t ask. Instead, she turned her hand over, tangling her fingers together with his. Sakura wasn’t entirely sure who moved first. All she knew was in one moment Itachi was sitting beside her and in the next he was kissing her. His hands cupping the curve of her jaw as his mouth moved softly against hers.

It was short but sweet, leaving Sakura a little dazed when he pulled back. She blinked against her swimming head, their eyes meeting as their breath mingled.

“This is never going to work,” she whispered.

Itachi’s eyes never wavered from hers. “I know.”

She didn’t know what any of this meant. She opened her mouth, already her overactive mind beginning to move, but Itachi didn’t let her get too far. He kissed her again, pulling her closer than before. His kiss reaching down into her soul and trying to pull it into his own body.

He filled her with a warmth she had never known before. It left her breathless, frazzled. She wanted him more than anyone she could ever remember and she took everything she could, her fingers digging into his sweatshirt. Feeling his solid warmth beneath her palms. Wondering how she could have ever thought him to be Death. Cold and indifferent.

They passed the next hour wrapped around each other, whispering words for their ears only, between stolen kisses and lingering touched. Even after their hot chocolate had gone cold and the ground had turned completely white. Ignoring the complications and impossibilities of what they were doing.

It was Sakura’s pager that broke the serenity that had settled over the cafeteria. She pulled out of Itachi’s grasp just far enough to grab the device before she read the message with a quiet sigh. “I have to go, but I’ll see you soon.”

Sakura pressed a brief kiss to Itachi’s mouth again before she stood and was gone.

And in such a hurry she was, she missed the deep sorrow that settled across his face. “Yes, you will.”

xx

Sakura woke early that morning, long before her alarm roused her, excitement filling her with more energy than even the strongest coffee. The sun was still below the horizon by the time she arrived at the hospital. But she wasn’t the only one there and ready.

Interns and residents swarmed her before she reached the Attendings’ Lounge. She smiled at their enthusiasm and answered questions as she weaved around the young doctors in-training. It was after all an exciting day.

“Are you ready?” Itachi asked, appearing the moment her scrub shirt was over her head.

She smiled, expecting his arrival. He greeted her every morning since that night in the cafeteria less than a week ago, and always with that smile. The one that made her stomach flop and her heart beat just a little harder. Only this morning, she was already bouncing with energy.

“I’m always ready,” she told him.

“Then how are you feeling?”

Sakura pulled a hair tie out of her bag before she piled her hair into a secure bun. “Nervous, but excited,” she told him honestly. Because even if there was a reason to lie to him, she was comfortable enough to tell him the truth. “But I’ve been doing my research and double checking all the labs. I can pull off this heart transplant surgery.”

The small smile in the corner of Itachi’s mouth stretched wider. He said nothing as he stepped towards her, looking so terribly handsome in his jeans and black button up shirt. He stopped in front of her, his eyes dropping down to smooth out the collar of her shirt before his hands ran up her arms and her shoulders.

“I believe you will,” he told her, his voice reflecting back her own confidence.

Goosebumps rose across her flesh where he touched her. But it was those words that made her body hum. Because Itachi was Death and he had an understanding about the world she did not.

Sakura’s smile stretched wider. “I have to get ready for the surgery, but I’ll see you afterwards, yeah?”

Itachi nodded his answer. There was an unusual look in his eyes that she didn’t recognize, but she didn’t have time to ask. There were people she needed to talk to and labs she had to check once more. She would have to ask him about it at a later date.

The rest of the day was madness for Sakura. Enough so that she had already forgotten about Itachi and his weird vibe by noon. Both the observation deck and the OR was full. Both trainees looking for experience and doctors with curious minds filled the room, taking note of Sakura’s technique and knowledge. The surgery itself took a little over four hours, her steady hands ensuring every suture and every stitch was perfect.

With bated breath, she stood still over her open patient. Watching, waiting for that still heart to begin beating on its own. The rest of the OR waited with her. Not a breath taken. Not a movement made.

Then it happened. A pulse. And then another and another.

“We have a steady rhythm,” the surgical nurse at the monitor said.

Applause erupted throughout the room and the observation deck. Sakura exhaled the breath she had been holding with a quiet laugh. Behind her mask, her mouth stretched into a wide smile as she accepted her thanks from the other surgeons around her. Some with a few decades more experience than herself.

It was the lightest she had felt in days, the stress from the surgery weighing her down. A constant pull on her mind. It made her want to celebrate. To go find her friends and share every detail she had just experienced.

It made her want to talk to Itachi.

Automatically, Sakura lifted her eyes to the viewing gallery. The entire room was filled with excited faces. Every last person dressed in white, doctors’ coats. All except two. Both in black. The one on the left she didn’t recognize. From his long, dark hair and broad shoulders.

The other was Itachi, dressed in his finest suit. But it wasn’t his dress or even his presence that caught her notice. It was his face. The sadness expression she had ever seen tearing her soul wide open. He met her gaze for a brief moment before he bowed his head.

And that was the last thing Sakura saw before excruciating pain erupted deep in her head and the world went dark.

When she opened her eyes again, she wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It was bright, too bright. Blinking hard, she waited for her eyes to adjust before she gazed around. To her surprise, she found she was in the same place. In the middle of the OR. Only she was alone. All the doctors and interns were gone. Even her patient had vanished. And in his place, Sakura had taken up occupancy on the surgical bed.

Confused, she looked down at herself only to find the blood stains on her scrubs from surgery were gone, leaving them clean and utterly spotless. With a quick examine, she found no wounds or stitches on her own body. She seemed perfectly fine.

“Sakura.”

Snapping her head towards Itachi’s voice, she found him standing on the other side of her bed. He looked no different than he normally did, his suit pressed and fitting his form so perfectly. But he felt different. A little more real, a little more like their souls were no longer worlds apart.

Sakura didn’t reach for him, her confusion twisting into something more akin to fear. She moved slowly, her eyes never leaving him, as she slid to her feet. The bed the only barrier between them.

A million questions rolled around in her head but her tongue remained still. Because she could still read that expression on his face. Feel his sorrow and grief from here.

“I’m so sorry,” Itachi murmured. Regretfully. Truthfully.

Something began to build in her chest. It took her a moment to realize it was panic. She took a step away from him. “What happened?”

“You had an aneurysm rupture in your brain,” he told her.

“An aneurysm,” she repeated. Both not understanding and understanding.

Because the dots were not hard to connect. His sorrow, her pain. This place and his presence.

A shaky breath escaped her as she took another step back. Itachi looked as if he wanted to reach for her, but he refrained much to her relief. Her chest tightened again as reality began to settle in.

“No,” she shook her head, trying to deny what he was telling her. “I didn’t die.”

“You were rushed into surgery after you collapsed but the doctors were unable to repair the damage to your vessels. You died from massive intercranial hemorrhaging,” he told her. His voice gentle but steady and his gaze unwavering.

She shook her head again. “My patient…”

“He survived.”

“But I didn’t.”

When Itachi shook his head, that mournful look in his eye, Sakura took another step back, tears springing to her eyes. She tried to release a shaky breath. What came out instead was a choked sob. Because she knew he wasn’t trying to be insensitive. He was simply acquainted with her well enough to know that she would want all the facts. Even if it ripped her heart out.

“You said death fluctuates,” she murmured through her tears as realization began to dawn on her. “I could see you because I had aneurysm. I was always on the verge of death. One strain, one stress away from it bursting.”

Itachi nodded woefully. “Yes.”

“You knew this was going to happen.”

Regret passed behind his eyes but he nodded again. “Yes.”

Sakura wanted to feel betrayed. Wanted to hurl angry insults and biting words so that perhaps he would feel just as hollow and empty as she currently did. But there was no use. There was no changing what had happened. There was nothing anyone could say or do. A situation she had seen many lovers and parents and family go through in her job.

She had never felt so helpless.

Feeling her knees begin to shake, Sakura lowered herself into one of the clean, metal chairs kept in the OR. They were hard and cold, only this time it wasn’t. It supported her weight comfortably. She dropped her head into her hands, trying to hide how much she was truly shaking.

Some minutes passed with just the faint echo of her own breathing as she tried to accept what had just come to pass. How she was supposed to possibly move on.

“I am so truly sorry, Sakura,” Itachi murmured.

She looked up when she felt him straighten a strand of her hair. He had knelt before her, looking so incredibly guilty and so incredibly remorseful. Against her desire, her heart went out to him.

“Things were not supposed to happen this way,” he continued softly. He was unable to meet her gaze but he couldn’t seem to pull away from her either. “We were not supposed to know each other as we do and I…and I was never supposed to fall in love with you.”

In all her life, Sakura swore she had ever been this full of emotion. Her heart was breaking and sealing back together all at once. She was torn. She wanted to push Itachi away. She wanted to pull him close, remembering all those nights they had shared. Talking into the dark, sharing hot chocolate and their deepest thoughts.

It would be a lie for her not to say she hadn’t considered this outcome. She knew things could not remain the way they had been. He was Death. And she had life. One had to give. And death only took.

Reaching out, Sakura ran her fingers through Itachi’s hair so featherlight, she barely felt its softness on her fingertips. He looked up as she pushed his bangs away from his face before she traced the ridge of his cheekbone.

“So, what happens now?” she asked.

“That remains to be seen,” another said.

Sakura followed the voice to find a man standing off to the side of the room. It was the same man she had seen in the observation deck. This close, she could make out more of his features, finding that his hair wasn’t black as she had first thought, but rather a dark brown. Just like Itachi, he gave off a certain wisdom. Only older, much older than the man kneeling before her.

Itachi didn’t move from his spot as the other man approached, his face still resting in her hand.

“You’re a Reaper,” Sakura said, not entirely sure if she was asking or stating.

He nodded. “I am Hashirama, the Elder Reaper. And I am here now to tell you that you have completed your job. You are released. You may continue to onto the afterlife.”

Her brow furrowed, not entirely sure what he was saying. Only to realize it was not her he was speaking to. But rather Itachi.

She looked down at him where he still had his face pressed into her hand. If he had heard Hashirama speak, he showed no indication. Sakura opened her mouth and tried to pull her hand away, but his own hand tightened around hers and kept it from moving away.

“If Sakura so chooses, I wish to spend it with her.”

Sakura’s confusion grew. She glanced at Hashirama before turning back to Itachi, both looking so out of place in this too-clean OR with Hashirama’s crisp sweater and Itachi’s fitted suit. She had so many questions and so few answers. Perhaps this was her afterlife. She had never given much thought to what her own would be like. Having spent so many hours in the hospital, she hadn’t had much time to give it much imagination. Maybe that was why she found herself here.

But if she could change it, there was no telling where she would like to end up. It’s not like there were any friends or family waiting for her. She was the first to go.

Emotion built in her chest again but before it could erupt, she realized Itachi was waiting for an answer. His black eyes peering up at her, so full of hope. Again, she thought of those late nights, just him in the dark as they talked about everything and nothing.

Or maybe there was a telling of where she would.

Smiling through her drying tears, Sakura pressed her palm against Itachi’s cheek again. “If I have a choice, I choose more late nights and dark on-call rooms. With hot chocolate on snowy nights.”

“I can give you that,” he murmured before his mouth met hers. Kissing her so sweetly it was as if it was their first again.

This time when she opened her eyes, they were no longer in the OR. But rather standing side by side on a hill overlooking a small village with a lake below. A boy some years younger than them was running towards them, his hair and eyes the same colors as Itachi.

He smiled wide, waving one hand over his head. “Itachi! Itachi! You’re finally home.”

There was a faint look of astonishment on Itachi’s face when Sakura glanced at him. Then he smiled. Warmth and happiness filling his expression and making him no longer appear years beyond his age.

“Sasuke,” Itachi breathed.

Then he looked at her, all the love and devotion clear in his eyes as he grabbed her hand and led her down the hill. “Come, my brother is waiting for us.”

the end

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