No Wonder the US Housing Market is So Screwed Up (and Getting Worse)
So I found out last month that I have to move out of the house we've rented for almost 5 years. Which means I have to move out a year earlier than I planned (since I'm saving for a down payment to buy something), so I'm not thrilled.
I'm even less thrilled at the new wrinkle that has arisen in the rental market. I live in the Nashville area, and the new thing here is corporate rental companies. They now appear to control a significant percentage of the available rentals, and are becoming incredibly intrusive into what used to be a simple process (you find a possibility, you contact the agent, you see the house). Now, much of the process is online, which I"m in favor of that. BUT--these companies want you to fill out a form to make an account before you can see anything, and some of them are requiring your social security number, income, rental history--BEFORE YOU ARE ALLOWED TO VIEW THE HOUSE. Not applying to rent it--just trying to look at it to see if you'd be interested. And now there's yet another sinister change: yesterday I clicked on a listing, processed through the annoying entries--and it wanted to CHARGE ME A FEE TO SEE THE HOUSE. The house they want to convince me to rent from them. It's...insane. But I have a lowering feeling it's the wave of the future.
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Conversations With The Commissioner: Crappy Monsters In Barber Shops, a.k.a. Nash's First Headcanon + Wine = The Image I’ll Never Be Able To Top
@lipstickandwhiskey kindly thought to tag me when she saw a jovial post that reminded her of my disappointment in the lack of dinosaurs in the *alternate world and hoped to cheer me, but little did she know [mainly because I completely brain farted on posting this way-back-when] this had been addressed. In an objectively bizarre way. Admittedly.
FYI: Spit-take warning in effect, also cursing, should you choose to carry on
Preamble
* Dear SPN Writers' Room*: I'm not calling it The Bad Place, because I'm done with y'all ripping from other stuff, in this case, a beyond phenomenal show - hey! you do recognize carefully crafted season arcs when you see it! - even if y'all thought it was a homage, it's not since viewers of the show "The Good Place" already know about The Bad Place and it's not a physical nightmare, it's a psychological nightmare.
Pay. Attention. Stop ripping from well-known pop culture shit without (1) making sure the “homage” is used correctly, (2) double-checking that something similar hasn't been done before and, if so, (3) adding your own cheeky-sneaky spin. Not doing so makes you look, at best, like hacks, at worst, like doofy dipshits, particularly when it is from shows in your same genre - like a renowned show from the same fucking network that hadn't even ended their run but a year and a half prior to when yours started - and wrapping up *your* season with a title that was an iconic element from an iconic show [it was iconic, for several reasons, that's an essay for another time] which was the basis for everything from a/possibly *the* pivotal moment in the series and which was tied to many of the composer's pieces for the soundtrack, as it was a central thread. TV Tropes is your friend.
Tangentially related, while we're here:
[Shep as Romo Lampkin]
I digress.
The Background
The Commissioner and I pop a cork, start talking about the Wayward pilot. We don't say a word about the scripting or the acting [because if we do, I go down a Dolly Deadeyes road, and nobody wants that]. Rather, we do a deep dive on the things that resemble other things and postulate how this came to be. Not in the minds of the peeps behind it, no, the dive comes via what the youths call a "headcanon". I've never had one before, I don't think, and I'm proud this is the first.
Oh, and a housekeeping side note: While my observations/the conversing began that night, the main convo/legit start on the image at the bottom happened later on. This has been run through the Nash snark filter for funsies, which is why the tone is the same for the whole conversation as, in truth, I have little clear memory of a lot of this, and the time taken for the assemblage of the image took longer than a conversation's worth, since the beginnings were sponsored by wine but it had to be done, it's how I combat insomnia and after seeing the monsters, I needed to purge my feelings of.... well....
The Beginning
After a verbal review (an accosting-of, really) of both Well-Coiffed Predator in a Bane Mask and Dollar Store Doomsday from the Wayward pilot, we begin discussing theories on how exactly this came to be in the alt world. Everything below is based on (a) the fact that New!Kaia's outfit denotes the presence of some sort of killa shopping and/or a hella talented Matrix-obsessed seamstress in the alt-world, therefore why not additional styling like a salon, and (b) the fact that we were lit on wine.
And the Predator rip - who, in the concept art, does not appear rippy-offy, it should be noted - got that mask somehow. He's either homaging Bane all over his face [his own face, not the other-way-'round] or he's gotten hold of one of the real things, modded it a touch to account for the spread of his general mouth region. Seems their temp name is the generic supernatural/folklore catch-all that I was vaguely aware of - "Canid" - and that some dude who's apparently of import on the show hates it, and I concur because all I can think of when I see the name is Candida. The Commissioner asked for a reminder, and I explained what that infection was and that now upon learning the creature’s name, I looked upon it as a yeast infection made sentient. The copious amounts of viscous discharge helps that along.
This then got a general science light bulb to pop, and we again consulted the googles, and boo-yah:
It's a dog. That. That up there, that I linked to. A daaaawwwwg.
No, not a if-this-is-a-dog-then-what-does-the-owner-look-like, maybe-they're-just-disgruntled-puppy-mill-alums type of WTF. The WTF is because I, once again, am wondering if at any point people over yonder are bothering to check shit out with this cool new thing called google. I know. It's a novel suggestion.
Somebody sure as shit used said googlins for squid beak - it's a touch birdy beak, but nah, slimy squid goes better with the aesthetic - and I guess they had to, as they already gave the far superior on the creepy scale pacu teeth to the Dollar Store Doomsday.
Because we were sneery and feeling gross at this point, we needed something fun, so we refilled on wine, and decided to make a mash-up image of the “inspirations” [to be clear: The Commissioner decided I should make a mash-up]. We were also feeling gross after looking at all that above, so for an eye sorbet, we needed some pretty, and STAT. We both instantly knew what would do the trick.
We start the conversation with Bane.
The Conversation
[looking at still from that Batman movie Bane was in; neither of us have cared to clarify which of the Nolan B-mans it was, because we don't care]
The Commissioner: He is so smooth, like, everything, even the fit of the clothes.
Nash: I'll never forget his turn as young Picard in that shit 'Trek movie, what was it called?
[we do not look it up; digression discussion of the awesomeness that is Sir Patrick Stewart]
TC: What's in his hand? Is that a riding crop? Or a shuffleboard thing?
N: Yes, exactly, Bane took a break from beating up Batman to shuffle. Nooooo. He got drug away from riding his horsey----
TC: YOU MUST MEAN HIS STALLION - if he rides horses, they are buff
N: ---to bring the mask, and is he pissed about it?
TC: No. No, because he is a dollbaby - he loves dogs.
N: You're mixing Tom Hardy with Bane.
TC: NO.
N: [realizing] BECAUSE THAT IS A DOG THING, THAT CREATURE IS DOG
[digression googles to look at pics/vids of Tom Hardy with pups]
N: Oh, no, wait - can we make it a putter? Like he was on his way to golf?
TC: But he still doesn't mind, because he's good guy Bane? And golf sucks? Oh hell yes.
[putter image sought; we go back to staring at Hardy, sip wine for untold moments]
N: And Preddie's all - Oh Bane, no! I couldn't possibly! Aren't these custom made? But he's gripping the shit out of it, like, pry it from my hands, bitches.
TC: And he takes a sniff when nobody's looking and swoons. *SWOONS*
N: Freaked-out stylist saw, though, and a touch of pee slips out, because it was weird before, but now shit's kicked off.
TC: Oh, she's already wet her pants at least once, absolutely. Do we need to add her?
N: No, she's in the bathroom.
TC: But you know who we should add.
[Image of 1990s Leonardo Di Caprio is immediately sought; we love the R+J still too much for words and select it with zero pause]
N: But why?
TC: You know he's gonna end up bopping around to other worlds anyhow, and for Bane to be here, there must be other rifts----
N: Low-Sugar Low-Fat Low-Calorie Eye of Saurons?
TC: ----so they're babysitting.
N: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE [gulp of wine] Hey, you know who should be his foster parents if he’s bopping around to all points?
TC: Is it some side-character who's off-show at the moment? So we can get the show back to, um, Sam and Dean?
N: Chuck and Amara.
TC: You remember they're brother and sister, right?
N: [side-eye] Okay.
TC: They are. It's canon.
N: OKAAAY. [stares at Leo] Alright, what are we having him do? Satan's crotch goblin?
TC: [possibly disgusted with me] Pencils.
N: YES I KNOW WHAT TO DO they need to keep him busy so they just keep giving him piles of pencils to sharpen, and he's distressed because there's no more and the sharpener’s motor burnt out.
TC: [touch of a spit take]
[we stare at the collection of images; it is a bitch to find a clear shot of a Pred sitting, but we need him in a barber chair; I will ultimately cobble it from three separate images; it was worth every goddamn minute]
TC: Okay, now what about that thing? The thing? Deadpool?
N: No he was something else, that's Reynolds. Deadshot? Wait, hang on.
[we watch the Bob Ross Deadpool thing, maybe twice, I have no idea]
TC: What'd you say?
N: I dunno.
TC: Me neither I just remember thinking you were wrong.
N: [looks it up, or we'll be here all week] DOOMSDAY
TC: Stop, stop, stop - didn't we also say Lord of the Rings cave troll?
N: I can't remember if it was me or somebody else.
TC: Do cave troll.
[we search]
N: Holy shit. He's in the club.
[image chosen; best one is of him pointing; I later add the touch of a framed photo of King Kong that's inexplicably hanging in the barber shop, also next to it a photo of Captain Shitty Render]
N: But Doomsday.
TC: Do it.
[image chosen; this was also a bitch, I had to blur and cobble and blend and hide part of his bottom half because ZACK SNYDER LOVES SHOOTING EVERYTHING LIKE WE'RE IN A DANK CAVE]
N: They're so glad Bane pulls through, because Preddy won't shut the fuck up about him.
TC: It's because his last boyfriend was garbage, keeps hanging out with humans, and Bane's loyal, like he was to that chick from Inception, like----
N: LIKE DOG
[the bottle is empty; we are sleepy]
The Results
I regret not adding an aquarium with a squid.
The Aftermath
Both TC and my Tumblr wife @butiaintgonnaloveem had reactions that can nicely tuck under the umbrella of [in concerned tone] Nash are you okay, like, is life beating you down somehow, this is crazypants which I appreciate from the latter, but as for the former I pointed out that they are my enabler/dealer/peer-pressurer in every bit of this.
As frequent travelers, we are always aware that there are many travel scams, and anyone can be a victim.
"Life is not just about breathing, it is about having your breath taken away," said Alfred Hitchcock. Happiness is in the unexpected, but there are some unforeseen things that we would like to avoid, especially when travelling, so as not to spoil the pleasure of the holidays. If in the vast majority of cases, stays go wonderfully, there are still some scams which you can avoid. These "tourist traps" obviously leave a bitter memory. Because prevention is better than cure, we are going to describe some common scams that happen around the world.
When Locals Become Scammers
The Taxi Driver and His Meter Out of Order
It is classic that while leaving the airport, you order a taxi to take you to your hotel. The corrupt driver then explains to you that the meter of his vehicle is out of order but that he can still drive you to your hotel. After arriving at the hotel, they will ask you to pay more than the regular fare.
To avoid this kind of scam, ask the taxi driver from the start how much the fare will be. If he does not answer you or tries to coax you by explaining that he does not know but that it will surely not be expensive, get out of the vehicle and take another taxi, this will save you from paying a huge amount unnecessarily. Clearly, if you take the taxi, either the meter works or the driver gives you the exact price of the ride from the start, otherwise, run away!
A Full Hotel or Closed Tourist Site
If you choose a taxi to drop you off in front of a hotel and they tell you that it is unfortunately full, beware! It happens often that taxi drivers earn a commission when they bring customers to a hotel with which they are complicit. Always ask to go to the hotel chosen and check for yourself what the driver says.
The same kind of scam takes place in front of tourist sites. Before you even reach the entrance to the site, a very smiling person comes up to you and explains that the site is closed. She then kindly offers you another supposedly popular tourist activity and takes you there. This person will receive a commission, and you will visit a site that you had not planned to discover. If you are unlucky, it will cost you more than you originally planned to visit!
Simply check at the reception of the tourist site which you have planned to visit during its opening hours.
Money Theft
A Guardian Angel Comes to Your Rescue at the ATM
ATMs abroad can sometimes be a real headache. A charitable soul may see you struggling on the machine and offer to help. Unfortunately, some take the opportunity to note your credit card code. A few minutes later, your credit card is stolen.
To avoid this scam, type your code out of sight. Also, remember to set the machine in English to have a better understanding of the withdrawal instructions.
A Hand Comes to Your Aid Because Something Just Dirtied Your Clothes
You are walking around town, and suddenly you find yourself doused in liquid or bird droppings. You tell yourself you are really out of luck until someone comes to help you clean your clothes. A few minutes later, you realize that you no longer have your wallet. Your helping hand is gone with your means of payment and your identity papers!
Even if the intention may seem nice, gently refuse the help of the people who will come to help you in this kind of situation.
The Fake Police
It is hard to tell right from wrong when you are impressed by the uniform, especially in an unfamiliar country and when you do not speak the local language very well. The "police" ask you for your papers for a routine check and leave with your full wallet.
To avoid this scam, you must be vigilant and not panic. If you have any doubts, call the police to confirm the presence of police in the neighborhood where you are. If they take off at high speed, there is a good chance they are not part of a municipal police squad!
Unsecured Wifi Hotspots
Be careful, some Wifi access points can be hacked to access your data. Even though internet access may be necessary for work or to connect with your loved ones, it can cause trouble for you.
To avoid this, the easiest way is to ask a café, hotel or tourist office for the nearest secure Wifi access.
They Play with Your Sensitivity
Beggars and Gangs
It is difficult to not move in front of a child, a pregnant woman or a young mother, or a mutilated man who asks you for money to survive. Unfortunately, in some countries, gangs are rampant in the city. The money you give to these people in need will have to return to the leader of the gang, who uses them as a source of income.
If you want to help them, give them food or clothes that they can use for their comfort and survival. Avoid giving money.
Free Bracelets or Pretty Flowers
You are quietly sitting on the terrace sipping your cold drink when a person comes to slip a friendship bracelet on your wrist or offer you a flower. A few minutes later, they come back, insist heavily on getting paid and get angry. You quickly feel embarrassed and surprised because you thought this person had given you a gift. The eyes of the surrounding crowd are heavy, and you give in, putting your hand in your wallet.
So you should always kindly refuse this kind of “gift”, it will save you a lot of trouble.
When the Scam Touches Passion
The Famous Thunderbolt
They flirt with you, compliment you, the big game... In short, you fall madly under the spell of the scammer who tries to bamboozle you, and it works! Their little exotic accent capsizes your heart, and you are trapped in the meshes of the net. Once they are sure that you have their mercy, they will do anything to keep in touch with you and regularly ask you to send them money.
To avoid this, the first option, you tell them from the start that you are broke to curb their enthusiasm. The second option is you remain suspicious and not allow yourself to be approached by people who are a little too considerate and insistent. Save your heart and your wallet!
Our Final Word
I have to admit that when I was younger and a more inexperienced traveler, I fell for a couple of these scams. So be vigilant. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Despite these few tourist traps, you should not stop yourself from travelling. As Gustave Nadaud said, “To stay is to exist but to travel is to live”. Just take the time to analyze the situation and remember these little tips during your trip. Your stay will only be better for it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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