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Eat the pool?
Camper on phone: Is the pool free?
Staff: Yes, it is.
Camper: Okay, one more question. Can I eat the pool?
Staff: Excuse me?
Camper: Can I eat the pool?
Staff: Do you mean can you eat AT the pool?
Camper: Yes, eat the pool.
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Okay, if I go here, and I gotta poop, I gotta make a fast run.
Customer looking at park map, trying to decide where they want to camp
Hello, good night.
Phone rings shortly after 10pm on a weekend where we have been booked solid for quite literally weeks.
Staff: Hello, [park name].
Customer: Hello, good night.
Staff: Uh, hello.
Customer: Do you have any tent sites for this weekend?
Staff: No, I'm sorry. We have nothing available.
Customer: Not even if sleep in my car?
Staff: (thinks, you can sleep in your car in a parking lot for free) No.
Customer: (in a thick European accent) Well, I guess all I have left to say then is.... good night.
Staff: K, bye.
Me likey.
Customer: Do you have shaded sites?
Staff: Yes, we do.
Customer: me likey shade. How much is it?
Staff: $price$
Customer: Wow! For that price, does it come with a free massage?
Staff: Not unless you have friendly neighbours.
Customer: me likey friendly neighbours, lol
No bears.
Today, I spent a good five minutes on the phone promising a lady that there were no bears in our campground because she was terrified that they would come into the campground and eat her three year old.
She literally said, “bears eat children, don’t they?” because she was “worried that they could get her three year old”.
After I had confirmed for the third or fourth time that there were no bears in his area, she accusingly says, “So you’re telling me that you have never seen or heard of a bear there?”
No. I really haven’t.
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It's an estimate.
Customer: Hi... I want to rent a site.
Staff: Okay. What for what dates?
Customer: Friday to Sunday.
Staff: This Friday to Sunday?
Customer: Yes.
Staff: And for what kind of unit?
Customer: What kind of unit?
Staff: ... are you camping in an RV, a tent, a trailer... or did you want to rent something?
Customer: Oh, a car.
Staff: A car?
Customer: Yes, we have an RV.
Staff: Okay, do you know how big it is?
Customer: No... it goes behind the car.
Staff: You have no idea how long it is?
Customer: Well, it's not that big.
Staff: And it's a trailer or an RV?
Customer: A trailer?
Staff: Do you think you could give me even an estimate of how big it is? I'm not really sure where to put you in the park otherwise.
Customer: Yeah, it's an estimate.
Staff: ....
No river?
Customer: This is our first trip to Canada, and we're so excited to experience the Canadian wilderness! Can we please have a site by the river?
Staff: Oh, we don't have a river.
Customer: Why not?
Staff: ...
But I really want it.
Upon learning that we do not have the rental unit they want for this weekend, we told the customer that we could call her and let her know if anyone cancels.
This was her reply.
“Well, it would be really great if you could just call them and see if they’re cancelling or not. Because you know, I really want that rental unit...”
