mootie we are not thriving tight now. advice on how to drag myself to study for just two months like im crazy (after effects and side effects don't matter)
Download finch. I found it a year ago when I was at my wits end on how to find the energy to do the things I had to do. What is finch?
It's a to do list, a digital pet app, and a meditation app altogether. You start off with an egg, and each goal you meet you get a little energy to help your baby bird grow. Each day, after getting enough energy, they talk to you, and depending on your answer, they develop personality points.
Once they become an adult, they can travel around the world and develop personality traits specific to the place. Mine is travelling through france and he discovered he... really likes croissants.
If it's hard looking forward to the future (for me it sure is), this app has suggested goals that are really achievable. On my struggle days, I add goals from the category "just survive the day", which has things like "get out of bed", "stand up for 10 seconds". Which isn't a big deal to others, but you pet celebrates and gets energy from these all the same. Like you do get energy from these. Once you find the basic things manageable, you'll get much more confidence to do big, hard things. Even if you have to break these big bad things into baby steps.
Sometimes existing is enough.
If you feel like can't do anything anymore, rest. If you're starting to do some things but feel like you're stepping in needles from agony, take some time each day to do a thing you love, and ask yourself "how can I change the way I view this (moment in life) from agony to a better feeling?" <- not sure about what this last one implies, It's a recent practice suggested by my therapist himself that I'm learning to figure out. It still gets me very much confused
But that's a sign I'm growing to become someone I haven't been before. You can't have improvement without change. So it's ok to struggle and feel a bit lost during the transformation, we can try to understand it together.
For me, I found that "a change in perspective" often means noticing what I am paying attention to and changing my mind's course if I pay attention to whatever that makes me feel worse and that I can ignore with desirable consequences (ignoring thoughts about how a class sucks and focusing on doodling in my notebook, if I'm not paying attention anyways = fine. I feel better after being creative and it recharges my mind. Ignoring a patient that needs urgent treatment = not ok. I need to be responsible even if it makes me feel anxious. The funny thing is, after I manage to get through a crisis like this, I feel better about myself, because I witnessed how strong I can be and how good I am in holding my ground and standing up for myself. Sometimes, doing the things that you don't want to do but need to do are like missions that make you level up β think of them as each having the purpose of making you build yourself to become OP)
All in all, it'll be painful either you you study (the pain of learning) or you don't study (the pain of ignorance). Pain is inevitable, but it is temporary. What will you have left, once it passes?
Also, you can either get through meaningless pain, or inbue it with meaning, when you have a purpose. I think it's better to get through a pain that has a meaning and purpose. It's not that life gives you lessons β life gives you situations. You're the one who can grab it by the throat (like yjh) and say "I am going to find something to learn from this, and I won't ever let you hurt me this way again". Or something. I don't know. I am figuring this out myself. But these are the things that work for me in the long term.
