I've decided I'm gonna write a book on heathenry and grief, and write it as a love letter to my mother to explain my faith and tell her how it's helping me. Am I qualified enough to write a Book On Heathenry? Absolutely not. I've barely been practicing a year and a half, and not consistently. But we talked about my faith, and she had a lot of questions I didn't have answers to. There was a lot I wanted to info dump on her. A lot I wanted to explain.
And while she'll never be able to read it, I think explaining it to her will be great work in healing, when I'm ready. "Bus Ride to Helheim" is my current working title, because my mom was a bus driver the last five years before her passing.
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Small rant under the cut - nothing major, just a moment of terror-fueled rage.
Fucking Orangemen and their fucking "parade" designed to intimidate every Catholic on this side of the city are out and about, and I swear, I never thought I would ever have to hear THAT song played by THOSE people up close ever again, and it is bringing up trauma I never realised I hadn't confronted.
So I am 22, and my bf is 32. We're happy together, and things are going good. I'm pregnant, too! We're excited, but there are some issues, like our conflicting religions; he's jewish, and I'm not. Idk how to bring this up about how we are going to raise our child. Also, i'm part korean, and his family is a little discriminatory towards people of color; our child is going to, of course, be part korean also. I just don't know how to bring these things up in a constructive way.
Are your beliefs conflicting, or just different? It’s normal for people to have slightly different opinions on how to raise children, and this should be an ongoing conversation throughout your pregnancy (and the rest of your time spent raising children), to figure out what you already agree on and what you need to discuss further. Religion can be a part of that. You can say something like “obviously you’re Jewish and I’m not, so can we talk about how Judaism is going to be a part of our child’s life? What traditions/stories/values do you want to pass on to our child?”. If you have your own religious or spiritual beliefs or values, you can then talk about what is important for you to pass on to your child. It doesn’t have to be a big conflict - just start with a conversation (or series of conversations) about what is important to you both.
Raising your child while having differing beliefs may involve some compromise, but his family’s racist behaviour is not something you should compromise on. It’s perfectly reasonable to say “I’m concerned that your family may say or do racist things in front of our child. I want to make it clear that if they do behave in a racist way towards or in front of our child, they won’t get to spend time with them in the future. If you think you might need to discuss this with them, please do that before the baby is born”. Then it’s his responsibility to ask his family to keep their racism in check, if he thinks it’s necessary. And make sure you stick to what you say - this is about your baby’s safety. If you can’t trust his family not to be racist, then you can’t trust them with your child.
You ever get that feeling when you think your grandparents don’t understand about certain things because they’re old, but then you go to college and meet professors who’re the same age as your grandparents and you find out that, actually, being old was never an excuse for Granma to act that way?
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TL;DR My grandparents kinda suck and I want different ones plz. Pray that my relationship won’t be completely destroyed by this meanness. Cut for people who don’t want to read a long rant.
Okay, so Easter dinner didn’t go BAD like I planned. But, any time I mentioned Catholicism, even in passing when everyone else was talking about gluten - free wafers and brought up Catholic rules (everyone else is Lutheran), Gramps started breathing heavily like he was going to explode. And after dinner, when he wanted to talk about City of God, he refused to talk to me, even though I was right there, and only wanted to discuss it with my sister. I haven’t read City of God, but I’m familiar enough with Augustinian worldview that I could have, y’know, tried to engage him. But I’m apparently too un - Christian to understand my grandpa’s “great thoughts” on theology (Said grandpa also said I was in league with a man - the Pope - who served Satan by becoming Catholic).
And then tried to tell my sister that the (Lutheran) church she goes to asking the congregation how they would spend a hypothetical monetary gift is exactly the same as telling Jesus how you want to spend your money, because it’s not as if churches have financial needs or something. Noo, they should only care about preaching and nothing else. The churches shouldn’t concern themselves with money.
During all of this, did my grandma try to redirect, or salvage anything? Nope. Just let him rant and say all kinds of ignorant things and ignore me. I could only tell her very quietly that I got a cactus from my sponsor as a confirmation gift. He’s a jerk and she’s an enabler, and it’s always been that way.
We ended up leaving “early,” but the 2.5 hours we spent there was utter torture. I felt less stressed out going to Mass on Sunday, and I’d never been to that parish, except for Latin Mass once.
I wish my mom were still around, so she could give her dad the smackdown about being rude to one of his granddaughters. She would have seriously disagreed with me, but she still would have loved me enough to tell her dad to have several seats.
That moment when the children's church leader says rebelling is Satans path. Smh. Excuse me, but rebelling is often the right thing. Something that God wants us to do. It also bothered me that they claimed that ghosts don't exist. I know it's a common belief, but it's not one of mine.
