#relatable though

her parents are british immigrants; they left a life of inordinate wealth and political power to come to magical britain and settle for a country where they weren't even on the wizengamot all so james could have a different magical upbringing that was less misogynist to women (my hc is that like normal south asia, magic south asia treats women like terribly‼️‼️)

her parents love her more than anything in the world but they're (as desi parents do) shoving the weight of all their expectations on her shoulders in the process. find a nice husband; get all Os; get a cushy job.

in her second year, she comes back from a summer of fun and laughter to see her friends grown up and gorgeous. except. her best friend sirius is so, so handsome and she doesn't notice at all. how can she not notice??. maybe she does. maybe well—she wouldn't mind kissing sirius. her parents like sirius. sirius is a boy. she wouldn't mind.

lily evans has long, dark red hair and green eyes. she has a mess of freckles and gets angry very easily. she is beautiful. and james is noticing.

maybe james just really wants to be lily's friend. so she tries so, so hard to be lily's friend. she really tries. but lily wants nothing to do with her. and is she dating that wanker snape??

the thought of lily dating snape makes james sick. the thought of kissing lily makes her excited and that makes her sick. she is to find a husband, and that makes her sick too.

so she dates boys. she kisses sirius. they fool around a lot but they don't get together because sirius doesn't like commitment and james doesn't like. well. she agrees with sirius.

she kisses peter. she doesn't mind that either and he doesn't seem to but she still tells him they're better as friends and they don't talk for a bit after that but. it's fine.

she asks out a boy from ravenclaw and he takes her to hogsmeade for lunch. he leans in and she turns so his lips brush her cheek. she apologises and he leans in again and she turns it the other way this time—he gets angry, leaves. james heaves her guts out in the bathroom later and tells all her friends that he was a prude.

a hufflepuff passes her a note in class. meet me by the greenhouse? james writes back yes. he leans in and he's kissing her and oh okay it's progressing!

james stays with the hufflepuff for a bit. sleeps with him. doesn't see the appeal, she tells sirius who shrugs. i do, says sirius.

was he just bad at it? asks mary later when she tells her. yeah probably replies james. just wait til you find a boy who's good mary promises. james begins to laugh but cuts it off as lily enters the common room.

it's marlene who asks her maybe in fifth or sixth year. james are you sure you like boys? and james is offended and she snaps back of course i do i've been with loads of boys! and marlene shrugs and adds soft and nonjudgmental but did you like it?

and then it's marlene who kisses her and answers it for her. it's marlene who lets her scream and sob and shout because she doesn't like boys she likes girls she likes lily she likes girls.