No regrets! 

It was my philosophy in life back before the Enhanced Community Quarantine. I grew up to have this kind of mindset and took the meaning literally. Just treat everything as something that must occur in life. I had the notion that all of the opportunities I gave up were not for me, and the timing wasn’t right. It was meant to pass me by. It is because it aims to give me an idea of what is waiting for me in the future. Those opportunities will come back when the right time comes. The ECQ period changed that.

There were numerous organizations I joined and belonged to before. All had helped me to grow as a person. However, there were two organizations that I regret leaving. I regret that I didn’t cherish the growth potential that they offered. I always wanted to help my family in any way that I can. This, coupled with personal frustrations, led to a chain of poor decisions. 

I was full of myself back then. I always believed that potential and talent were enough. I thought that through the brief period that I stayed there, I was already capable of many difficult challenges ahead. I came to realize, I was not. I learned the hard way and had gone through situations I never dreamed of. I built the right first impression but didn’t sustain it with the proper behavior. The ending was I ended up with nothing. 

The first organization was where I should have stayed for at least a year or two. Maybe three years would be better, but those were something I cannot go back. That organization accepted me for who I was, even if I cannot accept who I really am at that time. My boss was the type of leader I always admire, and after the challenges she had gone through, I admired her even better. 

I probably had the best colleagues in the L&D team. We compensated for each other's weaknesses. Being with them felt that I was not working, but was simply enjoying an activity. It was there where I experienced being valued and being appreciated for what I do. I never felt that I was lacking with skills because the team augmented and helped me developed new skills. We also had one of the best consultants ever and a management team that really listened to the organizational needs. I felt that I really flourished in that organization, which was evidenced by an employee award and a good performance appraisal score. They even opened up an opportunity for me to become part of a second organization. More of that later.

However, I encountered a handful of problems months before my first year of staying there. I need to have a better income flow because of a family problem. That was the time when I thought that shifting my priority from career growth to better compensation started. I lost my passion for what I was doing because I felt that I was given less than what I deserve. Knowing that the company was just starting to flourish, it cannot give me what I needed at that time. I was in the inner circle of the second organization at that time. I thought that through network and mentorship, I can succeed. As I turned one year in Paramount, I left.

Looking back, leaving prematurely from that organization cost me a lot of burdens later on in life. I gradually lost the confidence that I had because the load that I took, later on, was more than what I can really deliver. The moment I stepped out from that organization, my misfortunes started to pile up. I lost grasp of who I was because I was overtaken by pride. I thought, during that moment, that I did the right thing, but three years later, I realized that I didn’t. It was one of the worst decisions that I made. I was toppled by my emotions, and I succumbed to pressure. If I can turn back the clock of time, I would have stayed. I would have tried side-hustling. I might be better tenfold times than who I am now, as a professional, and as a person. I regret losing the opportunity to grow with genuine people that are really concerned for me, especially my boss, Ma’am Karin.

Paramount introduced me to my idol, Sir Sonnie, and later on, to the whole HR mentoring community. This community was the second organization that I regret taking for granted. It was where my growth was fast-tracked. I was exposed to different people that acknowledged me as an HR professional. It was there where I met new and genuine people, that I squandered. It was there where I met mentors, who I, unconsciously, took advantage of.

The community’s goal was to develop everyone holistically through blended learning and mentorship. At first, I felt that I was really blessed to be part of the group. I really dedicated myself to polishing my craft but was fueled with the wrong perspective. I thought of being in the community was just an episode of my life. I saw it as something that I need to do because my whole career was anchored on it. I already left Paramount, and my further endeavors didn’t help me grow the right way. I took the gamble, and at the back of my head, the community is a stepping stone to become better.

I was immature at that time and was just starting to experience the freedom of having a stable and adequate financial condition. I traded learning for non-valuable activities. I also became arrogant as time goes by. I rubbed people the wrong way. I was too excited for advancement but wasn’t ready to lay down hard work and dedication. For me, career advancement means money, and for someone who grew up poor, that meant the whole world. That time, I became selfish and greedy. I changed as a person, and my moral compass became lax as days went by. I came to the point that I just wanted to receive without giving back. I loathed doing the simple tasks because I think I deserve better. As I write this, I feel embarrassed and repentant of my immaturity and self-entitlement.  

The community gave me a lot of different opportunities to better myself. It understood my hunger for growth. The best came when I was selected to be part of DISTINCT. (Directorate for Strategic Innovation and Continuous Improvement) It was a select group of individuals that Sir Sonnie chose to perform strategic functions for the organization. It offered different platforms for growth, but because of some sort of problems, I let it go again.

As time passed by, I pursued a different direction that led me to disappear almost completely. My connections in the community gradually weakened. My community brothers and sisters slowly became acquaintances. I fell out of the inner circle. I thought it was okay. I believed that it was just an episode of my life that I must move forward. 

The ECQ transformed me in a way I never expected. I think that solitude can really help us know ourselves better. It helped me gain new perspectives. It helped me look back at my life objectively and with a much clearer lens. It helped me to become a bit more mature. It also helped me to accept who I am, along with my past foolishness and immaturity. It is the inertia that I needed to try and turn my life around. 

Now, I can easily say that leaving Paramount was the first foolish decision I ever made. And taking LODI (HR Mentoring Community) for granted is the worst thing I had done. These are my biggest regrets in my career and are some of the most remorseful mistakes I committed in my personal life. I also come to terms to admit that these decisions sent me down spiral. And these events are the price that I need to pay for the choices I made and the lessons I learned after. 

I might have the compensation that I desired and have helped my family. I had solved my short-term goals, and I am thankful for that. But if I will be given a chance to redo it all over again, I will choose a different path. Indeed, regret is always in the end, and opportunities do come and go.

Living a life having No Regrets must not be taken literally. Everyone must have regrets in a way or another because all of us made bad decisions. It is the sign that we grew from our past and learned from our mistakes. It must be acknowledged if we want to grow and move forward. It might be remorseful and embarrassing to remember. But it's a definite and powerful reminder of what to improve and what to avoid. 

However, do not dwell on regrets too much. We cannot turn back the clock and undo things, just like the movies. In this period in our history, our mental health is of utmost importance. Focusing on our regrets and never moving forward will stop us from progressing in our lives. It is good to take a break and think through, but it's never okay to remain in that episode of our life. Our past will never define our limitations, and our mistakes don't tell the totality of who we are.