#recovered

Permit the haze In its slippery mists Huddled umbrellas For what equates Into sprinkles glimpsed Cleansing in soft scent Fissures of sorrowful episodes Hosting the magnitude of regrets Societal terms per chance Delivered without consent Looking up to the universe Through the clouded descent Droplets hit my eyelashes Luxurious in come hither moments Bashful to my vulnerable aspect Aware of the mouth dropped stares Facing my troubled stance Closing my eyes as I stand Underneath the neon lights Spotlighting in caricature Chameleon shifted awareness Masking heartbreak worthy of rivers Downcast by the rickety docks Shifting my focus from the watering hole A place akin to a faulty mirage Now my equal aversion Yet the faces remain Set to invasive implore Causing me to seek in assertion Permission through the beckoning door Order a gin and tonic While tapping my fingers to the music Allowing yesterday to slip away Unperturbed by the glances that sway Keeping my fragility buried Till the next serene sunrise Oh why do I tempt fate It's appointment sternly pointing Reminder to mind the beginning Lest I slip under the tow of the waves Barely grasping the needed tenacity Till the skies part to blaze the sun Filling my body with strength Standing tall in the grips of adversity Erasing the hopes of inquiring persons To know who I actually am Beneath the guise of storied addictions Sobriety in its clutched forgiveness Lending it's hand on this illicit pavement Rooting me to the glares of 3am agony Waiting, hoping in bated breath To not repeat my visceral history Boring into me inscrutable Like fried eggs on Sunday morning Crispy on the edges Signifying danger signs Full of my quaint dichotomy Oh the torture of wistful thinking Wondering if I can sustain the grip Preservation from your soothing infractions That blur the pleasantries of polite interactions Into a blueprint for my elusive nature Refuse to fall again into the well of disaster Taunt me while I turn my back Choosing my precious sanity Over your lack of respect Transferring numbness To the bottle you offer Symbolic in gesture Today you exist Only in the depths Prior to current events Opening my durable psyche To create absent crippling resent

Relapse isn't Failure

Drawings re-uploaded! They are NOT mine!

sometimes I miss being an edgy middle school trans boy on twitter taking Benadryl getting into unethical and toxic online relationships that destroyed me for months