#readingweek

as reading week comes to a close, i’ve been polishing off some economics revision, as well as doing the actual expectation of this week and finishing some required reading.

only two months left until final exams, and then summer’s finally here (for uni folks anyway) !

trying to get back in reading for my own enjoyment but it’s been tough with all the required reading coupled in.

plan to have a few long study days this weekend to get ready for my upcoming week !

What’s wrong with me? I feel this intense need to just figure out everything at 19. I want to know what I’m going to do with my future yet I have no clue. I’m majoring in a program that I despise and I wish I could do something else. Everyone I talk to expects me to become a lawyer or something amazing.

I’m creative and I’ve always been so creative. I like thinking out of the box. I want to something eventful with my life. I know the purpose of life isn’t about what your career because let’s be honest, capitalism has made us feel that way. It’s just important to me I’m able to explore my passions and do what I want.

I feel so small & so stupid compared to so many other people. I feel like I’m not smart enough or not capable. I just sat in my bed all day. I’m so upset. I hate this. I didn’t achieve anything I wanted to achieve today.

My friends can’t even be there for me, because how am I supposed to explain this to them? They’re so into their own lives. I constantly feel like I’m the listener but no one ever listens to me.

I feel my light fading.

“My heart is heavy with the things I cannot understand.”