#studious

Today!! Happy pride!!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

90 minutes of philosophy (ethics)

2 hours of math (analysis)

3 hours 25/5 (10-13h):

Philosophy (wtv there is to philosophise about)

2 hours 50/10 (16h-18h)

Physics (RC circuits)

Me after getting 3 likes on tumblr

He'd written the word so many times, how did he never notice the spellchecker? There it was, a bright red zigzag under "school". It.... it did look wrong, now that he looked at it. But he would've noticed something that simple, right? "So... how's it meant to be spelled?" Jen got up from the chair, having been reviewing the first draft so far as Lucas fetched her her coffee. "Sit down and I'll tell you, I want you to get the muscle memory." He obeyed and sat in front of the screen.

"S." He pushed the key and waited. "K." He pushed the key and... that didn't look righ—"O. O. L." Gotta keep up. Lucas types before he can forget the order, and by the time he's done the other thought has slipped his mind. "There. You're a smart boy aren't you? Now prove it." Lucas responds with a thank you which comes out a little more breathy than he'd meant, and keeps typing.

The new spelling must be right. He went back and changed all the earlier times he'd messed the spelling up (really, school? God, he was so dumb... thank fuck Jen was here).

About 30 minutes passed before Jen heard his typing peter out almost completely. He had slowed to less that a key every ten seconds, and had entirely stopped looking anywhere but the screen. So Jen was free to look at him all she wanted, without any risk of him slipping out of the program.

After exercising this freedom for another thirty minutes, she stands up from her own work and walks over. She shoves his shoulder lightly, then lays her hand on it. She gropes his bicep before moving her fingertip to stroke the nape of his neck. "I have to say, you're a good boy." A half moan tumbles from Lucas' plump lips, and if his jaw weren't so slack or his eyes not quite so eyes blank it could almost be thought of as a question.

"You're a good boy because you're a good toy. And a good toy," her thumb strokes just over the short hair down his neck. "Is something that can be experimented on. That can be used to try a lot of different things, because a toy is there for whoever is using it to find what's good for them."

Lucas honest to G-d whimpers. He hears it, but his brain doesn't quite connect the fact of hearing it with the feeling of his voice bubbling up. "See, in certain ways," Jen's hand, so delicate, brushed up and around the edge of Lucas' ear, then down his jaw. "In certain ways to be a good toy, you've got to get real dumb. Because being dumb means you're a better toy." Fingertips under his chin, and he's nodding. That makes sense. "So I'm going to take you to a special school, to teach you to get you real stupid."

Lucas tilted his head and looked up at her. Jen was standing over his chair again. She grabbed the back and wheeled him away from the table. She snapped and pointed: "down." He practically collapsed, sliding off the chair to kneel. Jen talked as she sat where he'd been. "Your body is heavy, like your hands and feet are rocks. Warm and heavy, like you just had a biiig meal and a hard workout. It aches, and that feels good. Your brain is all floaty, like cotton candy. Sweet. Think of a cotton candy flavored lollipop, in a little pink wrapper. That's what your brain is like! It's so sweet and light, and you can almost taste the cotton candy on your tongue. It'd be so light! So light your brain just floats away like a balloon blown up tight that just wants to fly away. It will fly away, when you're not holding on so tight. When you relax like you're meant to, it'll float up and away from your body, your body that's so heavy it sinks down and your brain floats up like a happy, dumb pink balloon, all the way to obedience school on Jupiter! That's another planet. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Night sesh:

My handwriting is horrible lol.

I'm never studying at a café again. I have decided. Enough is enough.

Anyway morning sesh:

Nuclear physics

Geometry+analysis