#reader x aot

authors note: happy birthday to my gorgeous diva Cara!!! please ignore any chandugiri in the middle of these lines. i suck at writing and alot of POV switching so meow. AND OUT OF CHARACTER VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!, NO CANON SETTINGS a very non-canon Levi will be demonstrated so theres that. hes there for pairing purposes. (ALSO for other divas reading this, the fic's for a specific person, but no characteristic details so could be read as reader x character because reading is for all yihau.) NO WARNINGS BTW! smut not available because its scary to write.

no beta read, we die like eren. (waoh shakespeare is shaking)

Context(i suggest reading this before the fic): Reader is the head designer of a Fashion company's office in France(Paris specifically), used to study in America during teenage years and pursued her career in Fashion. other characters include Levi, also was in the same school as reader and now is in her office as well, works in the Finance department. Assistant/receptionist is gonna be named Nia. also Levi's parents are divorced so that gonna take part in the story indirectly.

"coffee cups are certainly a way to practice juggling..." mumbled off Cara, as if the clock would tick ANY slower.

at this point its just time pass, there were better things for her to do instead of climbing up this mountain of stairs. being one of the most important people in a single department is both flaunting and tiring to the core.

the things people do for a job...

slam!

"these errands are going to be the death of me, when will we actually get to buisness?" Cara said out loud, more of a complain than a question,

"until this heat wears off, we are NOT getting peace in here" the other girl replied.

another coworker walked by,

"aint'a new guy coming around? im jus' hopin' for a bonus man" Stanley grumbled—ignore that old dude(for filler purposes because i said so😛) hes just here for the money and its WAY too clear. "don't want another idiot in this flock-"

"nyeaahh.. sucks to be you, i heard from the ground departments apparently he's one of those nepo babies. yaaaarr in another life!!" Nia sulked,

"you two keep procrastinating on this pile, im gonna check out the ideas from the editors department" Cara walked away in hurry, her cup in one hand and files in the other.

"i've a bad feelin' about this" he raised an eyebrow, still staring at his computer screen.

Nia squinted her eyes at the man, "is that your opening line because this is the 5th day in a row you said this-"

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Its the second day of a leave, the covers of your bed smell of fresh laundry even though it was washed just yesterday. maybe some rest doesn't hurt at all, you do need a break in a while sometimes. the comfort doesn't go away, only makes you slumber under the pile of-

ring ring ring! ri-

"oh my GOD WHY WONT- hello?" your voice changed once you picked up the phone, classic,

"report to the office immediately, do not make me wait"

before you could comprehend who that was, it hung up. leaving you on a cliffhanger, just pray its not a whole hour of lecture and a risky position of getting suspended. damn this calender!

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'well shit is shit.', she thought as she finally took the elevator. the traffic was already hell, cars moving slower than a math class and the constantly ear ringing horns.

Paris has its perks as well as its disadvantages.

before she reached her cubicle an unknown figure stopped her,

"do you look at the time or are you ignorant?"

"excuse me? hey today was supposed to be a le-" suddenly the said figure was not so unknown at a second glance, "-vi..?"

the awkward silence stood in between.

"its Ackerman for you— today's 13th, not 12th. check your dates." grumbled off the walking rock.

the sudden appearance of someone from the years of her past hit her like a truck, was this the 'new guy' Stanley was talking about? she thought she was hallucinating at this point, she surely woke up from that alarm right? right???

(yes the transition from "leave" to "levi" was intentional WAIT PLEASE NO TOMATOES PLIJ)

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"is THAT the new Finance guy??!!" Cara shout-whispered, it was break time again—

the dark haired grump was not so far away. She was leaning halfway over the shared table with her friend, eager to know if anything is even real. her eyes would pop out already if it was biologically possible.

"well yes he literally came in yesterday!" gave back Nia, trying not to SNAP her head back even though she knows who Cara is talking about.

"girl I WASNT HERE YESTERDAY!" the whispering could not possibly get louder, at this point anyone could hear if they werent minding their business.

"oh yeah- well too bad, this guy is NOT normal. do they pick up people from a rehab center?"

"I KNOW THIS DUDE!"

"YOU WENT TO REHAB????"

"NO YOU IDIOT- he was in my school!"

okay now the confusing set in further. as the ingredient of the tea that is about to spill walks out of the break room, they both watch him intensely— staring daggers at his back.

"you?? and him?? .... actually im curious IS HE THAT NEIGHBOURHOOD CRIMINAL YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT A FEW DAYS AGO??"

"NO-"

memories filled Cara's head.

the library lulled of nothing but silence, before it was broken by whispers. the air smelled like dust and a book's suffocating pages.

"heyyyy~" a younger version of Cara swirled around,

"dont 'hey' me, this is a library." Levi said.

"are you gonna just act like a loner all the time? just grades arent gonna help you man"

"i dont have time for people, stop bothering me."

"oh come on! the school's hosting a graduation party, you better show up"

"im not going there to 'socialize', all they do is blast frustrating music."

"i'll be there either way, just stay for a while!"

"... fine"

"thats what im talking about!!" she ruffled his spikes of strands, walking away in content.

the boy was left stranded in half hesitant. a party was already hell, but a graduation party? do not let this guy start. if anything, he'd rather stick his head in his studies rather than even go out for a while.

socializing is NOT in his dictionary.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

who would have guessed a simple graduation party could go down in minutes?

stubbornness and pride takes over in such situations, leading to consequences that should be debated if the police station is worthy of a resolution or parents of each person involved.

after a fight between a boy with an empty head and another guy with screws loose in his — not even a singular bandage can help with the results.

a different kind of monday, this one is.

the life-sized speakers behind them sounded louder than ever, multiple led light reaching miles away, the roads lit in neons.

just a moments after something like a bar fight, Cara and Levi sat on the ground—

"now what did i tell you!" worry, masked as annoyance came out of Cara's mouth.

"whatever, its not that big of a deal" he said, leaning back on the ground. his scratched up knees a few inches away from his chest and his hands beside him, grabbing the grass.

Cara kept wrapping the white bandages around his knees, not bothered by the silent stains of red coming up on the cloth.

"... im sorry"

"for what!!??"

"I DONT KNOW. i didn't like how that guy was spitting out random shit. he kept saying you were only bothering me for money and what do you call it- clout" huffed Levi, nothing seemed to make sense to this idiot.

"so what? i can fight for myself. you do not get to treat me like someone fragile and frail, you do not get to make me-"

suddenly his head fell on her shoulder, all that came out his mouth was mumbling—

"i just dont know how to tell you how much i want to hold your hand like that, why does every guy and girl except me gets your affection." the feelings inside of him spilled out atlast.

"you dumbass, you cant be serious. i literally kept bothering you for all these days you're saying you dont 'get my affection'?" holding up his head, Cara tilted hers.

"i thought you were like that because you wanted free food from the canteen since i always had enough pocket money to pay doubl- OW! WH-." Levi winced out.

Cara's gripped up his hair, placing a kiss on his lips. the more seconds passed, the more his face reddened— anything else and he'd surely faint.

"oh and yeah, that too. take me on a date on the weekend, ill let you off the tax hook" boldness took over Cara for that moment.

him, on the other hand, gave slurred sounds that couldn't be understood. nothing made sense, but a chance is a chance. and he'd take it.

it took him days to find out where to go, crossing out names of a hundred places — he'd run out of things and eventually settle on the first word he heard on whatever came up on a random tv show.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

a museum is a classic hangout place for people like these two, one only stares at labels and the other judges the canvas.

could've decided on a resturaunt or cafe, but well, a certain guy wanted to be a bit fancy.

its been a while since they entered the rooms full of frames and kept walking around whilst ranting on a hundred topics—especially making unimaginable scenarios of god knows what about the painters.

though, like the gentleman he is — he walked her home. standing on her porch, they kept talking. conversation after conversation, even after the date already ended. his face seemed a bit off, like a bug bit him in the mouth.

"hey, you've been staring off in the clouds more those paintings for half this evening, gonna tell me something or what?" she asked out of half-joked concern,

"my dad."

he turned his face back to her, "he wants custody, its complicated."

her face froze, was this the time or place to utter something like that? he has no sense of timing, or any possible way of resolving this.

"and youre you're telling me this now?"

"i didn't know what other moment to say it, i just found it this morning."

"you can't be serious." her brows furrowed till they almost touched — "didnt you say hes in france" a plead hid in her voice.

only an awkward silence followed, but his eyes glanced away, ".. yes"

"i dont- why so sudden? youre only going there for a while right?" she shifted closer, "right?"

"im not sure."

the unreciprocated eye contact hit her much harder than expected. she turned away, going inside her house before she could process her emotion, leaving him at the door like he left her to deal with that. tears overwhelmed her skin.

days passed by in the office, but Levi's coldness stayed— only ever flickering a glimpse at Cara. it seemed professional to him, but to genuine degree it was frustrating. is he ignoring his feelings or her? both at the same damn time.

the 2 second eye contacts, or the slight touches from handing files, or even the shared chairs he seems to sit in the moment she leaves. is he purposely yearning from afar or wants to hold her but wont? again the same answer. complication is in his blood and stubborness will always win.

its been 3 days. they still havent talked of their feelings yet the unsaid words linger in the air.

cats gotta be out of the bag at this point, even the other workers are contemplating if somethings going on. the HR manager is having mind issues on what ruling to give, but the others? oh theyre already ditching their computers to spy on these not-so-secret love birds.

talk of the town? more like the main subject of gossip during coffee break.

past stories are an inch away from overlapping, yet a decade away from the present events.

Cara was sitting aimlessly behind her desk, magazines of the latest fashion trends piled on top of eachother, would have been a whole hour of gold-bricking if it weren't for an email from the branch manager himself—

"Trip to New york on Wednesday, 18th July. Partner will be Levi Ackerman, Financial assistant. Hotel and Concierge name will be emailed within 24 hours. blah blah bla-"

wait. partner will be WHO?? her eyes widened, looming over the screen.

'what the fu-'

another email popped up in bold letters, god ITS ACKERMAN.

she hesitantly clicked on the message—

"dont think im just tagging along, im not waiting for you."

is he fiesty or genuinely passive aggressive about not liking you?? might as hell write it on a billboard in capital letters...tf.

Cara slumped her head on her keyboard, she only saw the letters right infront of her eyes and yet couldn't type out a message. god she needed coffee right now or the world is gonna end this'll be her last moment.

She left her desk and walked to the break room, unusually empty this time for some reason. she didn't pay it any mind and kept filling up her cup with espresso to the brim, though she felt this wierd presence of something in the room-

"OH MY GOD- wH-" she yelped at the sudden appearance of the particular email sender, INCHES away from her. well not really that close BUT YOU GET IT HES STILL STANDING THERE LIKE A ROCK WITH BLUSH BLINDNESS, because his face WARMED UP at her catching him in the stalking-like act.

"youre coming to New york right?" he grumbled like a sheriff on duty, even with that reddened face. for reason his tone sound a bit- actually no dont fall for delusions STOP THAT

"yeah???" her body was still stuck in alert mode, who sneaks up to someone like that??

all he did was give out a "hm" as he nodded, followed by his exit.

She was left quite confused, what is this guy on? on text he's like a rivalling dictator and in person he turns into a mixed delayed-masaledaar pancake. how do you reunite with a childhood friend properly if hes like this?

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Eventually the date came upto the 18th, and Cara was, well—in air, quite literally in the air. it felt nice in buisness class, the screen infront of her played the credit scenes of "Crazy Rich Asians", a classic flight movie.

after a few minutes the plane landed, a big sign stood on the large grounds saying "WELCOME TO NYC" near the shiny black windows of the airport building. it felt refreshing to come to another city.

The car ride to the hotel with Levi was a certain demonstration of awkward silence, nothing special happened. but his pathetically rude exterior did not budge, though he was the one handling your heavy suitcase and unloading the luggage while refusing to let you hold anything else other than your bag, like damn calm down with those mixed signals man??

The whole day was spent walking from corporate headquarters and business centers, back and forth. an ocassional coffee break between the hours was necessary for survival, and time passed till your watch read "09:45" with a miniature "pm" on the side.

the other employees in new york were quite friendly, even suggesting a night out in the clubs.

Cara felt eager to know every part of this city, saying no was impossible — to which Levi hesitantly agreed after the pressure from the begging employees.

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The whole room glittered under the silver lighting and the neon hues as the music blasted off from the loudspeakers, you felt the bass of the music within your chest bumping up like a second heartbeat.

on one hand there was you, dancing off like it was your last day on earth after your 3rd shot of tequila— on the other, there was Levi way over the opposite side of the room sitting with his half-empty glass of scotch from the highest shelf(i cant think of any other alcohol except "daaru", SOS).

it didn't take long until the others began to book their ubers one by one, leaving you and him in the crowd.

excitement engulfed you as you kept surfing through the pile of people, stopping was not gonna be your next move(that was a metaphor oke dont throw tomatoes plij). at some point you had to be dragged away by the much shorter grump who was way too desperate to go home. he was quite literally begging to get away from the loud echoes, getting smushed by the crowd midway-

hold on, is he drunk???

troughout the whole car journey, the only rants that came out of you were complaints about your feet hurting, it felt like a ramming truck when he changed your stilletos into the shoes he was wearing without taking "no" for an answer.

you reached your room with your heels dangling off his fingers. a scene straight out of a movie.

the very next morning, your memory was halfway washed off by the alcohol, but your head felt like it would fall off. even Levi was acting all weird and flustered throughout the rest of the day, only speaking a few words here and there—

"I'm gonna be at the morning and afternoon appointments. be ready at 7:45 sharp, i'll- book a cab before and after." he spoke up, you two were in the middle of breakfast in your hotel room(holy reference??)

"i can get ride myself, what is up with the condescendence?" you furrowed your brows, the toasted bread still in your mouth,

"please, i insist." he pleaded. (shhh i suck at writing, imagine this is kaandftaani level patheticness)

and so, the grogginess from the morning followed you till the sun set. like a workaholic, you couldn't stay still, having felt the need to do something. the afternoon was spent in talking to the higher ups and receptionists through your laptop.

finally, the last meeting with the New York branch was scheduled at 8:00PM sharp. and so, it went smoothly— mainly due to the confidence in your presentation and his slideshows. your high hopes did not let you down, and here you were, back in the cab.

"you're free right now, are you?" Levi sparked up, his questionable eagerness to do something was visible.

"well.. yes, is there anything important?" a reply came from you,

"i was wondering you'd like to go to a really nice place in here-" he was about to say more, but shut himself up before getting his hopes high.

"yeah" your acceptance certainly riled him up— his eyes widened with delight, it felt way too foreign to see him like this.

"oh- okay" he mumbled, his soul was bouncing off of the car doors at this point.

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The both of you walked near the waters surrounding the lines of skyscrappers and buildings. It truly felt refreshing to be in such a state, maybe find him again wasn't that bad. a firework show was about to start no sooner, the greatest time of the year for this event

you jogged upto the end point where the waves kissed the sand and sat down, he came along, almost anxiously if you could say.

suddenly, a flower was placed on the palm of your hands—

"i've been meaning to say something." his voice threatened to stutter,

"hm?"

"ever since i met you, i never happen to shake off my feelings. i dont think i enjoyed the single moment after the day i left you.. when i came into this office i was just- confused.. i didnt know how to react and i acted like an idiot."

you weren't sure of how to answer, humour got the best of you instead

"oh yeah? keep staring daggers at me and i might thinking you're about to murder me"

his gaze did not waver, "cara. im not sure if you ever forgave me but i just want you to know that the only person whos occupied every inch of my mind and evey corner of my heart-" he paused, after saying that in one breathe, "i truly find you irritably fascinating. my eyes can't leave you and neither can my consciousness-"

you immediately cut him off, your lips met his. your hands curled into his hair, there wasnt a possible way to be more intimate. on pulling back, his face was as red as ever. the sound of loud fireworks went off in the back as the light shone upon your faces.

"god, youre so beautiful.." he uttered, eyes full of adorance—

you only chuckled at his whipped state, "mhm, and you're the guy i happen to love"

his eyes stayed as big as a seal's, staring into yours as he broke into a smile finally. he started giggled like a drunkard, intoxicated in your reciprocation.

you began you laugh back, the both of you were on and on like jesters at this point. cupid did a good job this time, old emotions crept upto you and it did not render you stoic.

· · ─ ·✶· bonus!!

It was a few days after the fireworks show, you were busy with your pile of work, the new collections of designer gowns were going to be released in a few days, but you felt the need to bring out the potential extravagance in them.

"ugh! why wont this stick!" your frustration boiled up,

"you know what- just try it on. literally this mannequin us NOT doing any justice." Nia suggested,

"girl if that's the way i might as well"

the dress fitted you quite perfectly, the monochromatic shades contrastsd with your hair, a lone line of fur rested on your shoulders as Nia kept on stitching another layer of maroon onto the off-shoulder sleeves. a slit on the sides of the lower half showed off your curves with certainty.

as you finally adding modifications, the dress still on— you twirled infront of the mirror, trying to think how the model would move in this. your assistant left the room for getting references from magazines, and you felt quite the primadonna in the glistening fabric.

"shabbash cara!" you smiled at yourself.

a mumble uttered from the entrance of the room— "cara mia-"

you turned your head to look, and it was none other than levi and a bundle of magazines in his hand threatening to fall, like he did, in love. his irises stayed on you as his face warmed up—

"so, how do i look?" you teased, turning to him while brushing your hair off of your shoulders.

a reply did not seem to be certain in the atmosphere, he mumbled like a toddler on trying to give a response and just shut up instead as he kept blushing furiously— embarrassment got the best of him and he placed the magazines in your hand before it fell off of his and left, fixing his crooked glasses.

your assistant came back with two coffee cups in hand, about to walk into a wall while craning her neck to look at Levi.

"whats up with that guy? he looks like someone hot ironed his face" she asked,

"mhm, dont worry about that" you gave, your eyes still on the back of his head. as you looked at Nia— her face contorted and her nose scrunched. furrowed eyebrows and awkward frown stayed on her face. wait, is she thinking of-

"NO NOT THAT YOU IDIOT" you immediately corrected,

her face stayed the same as she shook her head in terror— "in the middle of the OFFICE????" her expression curled.

"NO- WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOU-"

Working in a restaurant wasn't the ideal lifestyle you wanted but it paid the bills and kept you afloat while you continued to pursue higher education. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for your sensitive feet.

It was typical to have some pain after standing for so long but after months of buying new shoes, socks, and foot gels, nothing seemed to work.

Opening the front door to your shared apartment, your eyes meet piercing blue ones. Annie laid draped over the half end of the couch, one leg on the ground, the other resting on the piece of furniture. She had one arm over the back of the couch, the limb swinging back and forth if you paid close attention while the ither held the tv remote. It looked like she had a busy day.

"You're a bit earlier than usual," she started off, "how was work?"

You groan dramatically before jumping face forward into the soft cushions next her. Her face is unfazed. 

You answered her question but all that could come out was a muffled response due to your face being stuffed into the comforter. 

“Yeah, I didn’t understand any of that so I’m guessing it was good.”

Huffing, you lift your head up to meet her eyes. 

“It was terrible. I had to serve a family of eight. Do you know how annoying it is to have eight people ask what’s on the menu when they have the piece of paper in their hands?” you flip your body, back now supported by the pillows and cushions Annie adjusted hours prior. 

You scoot closer to the smaller woman, moving your head so it can rest in her lap. She plays with your messy hair as you continue ranting. 

“Don’t even get me started on the number of times I had to run from the kitchen to the table because they didn’t ask for pickles. They could have just picked them out!” You grumble in annoyance. 

“oh no, not the pickles. How could you serve them pickles?” she teases you. You respond by throwing a pillow in her direction. Of course, there was no effort in the throw so she pushes it away effortlessly. 

“Shut up, it doesn’t help that my feet hurt.”

Snuggling closer to the blonde, you yawn and stretch your body. She laughs as she moves you both into a more comfortable position, her backside resting along with the couch head, and moves a pillow to rest on her lap so your neck wouldn’t be stiff.

“Have you tried those foot gels I bought for you? They had really good reviews on the website.”

You nod against her legs. “Yeah, but you know how sensitive my feet are. They just never seem to stop hurting.” She hums in agreement and continues to play with your hair. You’re nearly on the edge of falling asleep when she taps your head.

“Don’t fall asleep on me. I have to get up in a minute.”

“For what? Stay on the couch with me for a little longer.” You whined and pouted, giving the best sad dog eyes as you could.

She rolled her eyes, not even the slightest bit convinced, and carefully placed your head away from her legs before standing up.

“I want to make this recipe I saw for dinner since you’re obviously exhausted.”

Your arms stretch towards her, telling the blonde that you wanted her in your embrace. She simple stares at your figure before cracking a small smile before bending down to kiss your forehead.

“Give me about an hour and we can cuddle on the couch for as long as you want.” you groan but agree. After she leaves, you doze off, completely losing yourself to the exhaustion.

It isn’t too long when she wakes you up, pleasure shutting throughout your body when your feet begin feeling slight pressure. you open your eyes and you’re greeted with an odd sight.

Annie had taken the liberty to strip you of your shoes and now, she was gently messaging the soles of your feet. She hadn’t noticed you stirred awake so you take the sight in for as long as you can. Her brows knitted together and her eyes were slowly trained on your feet. She looks beautiful, you think to yourself.

You give it a few more minutes before you speak up, “ I have never seen you so focused on a pair of feet, it has me thinking you have some kind of foot fetish.”

You’re laughing until she huffs and throws your feet off of her lap.

“you’re such an ass …”

“Wait! Babe, I was kidding, come back!"

Annie was gone, her figure disappearing into the kitchen. She let you poke at her at times yet this time she wasn't too pleased with your comment.

Ten minutes pass by when you realize she won't come back out so you muster all your strength to get off the cozy couch and saunter into the small space. There, by the stove, stood Annie with her back to you stirring the mysterious contents in the pot.

You lean against the doorframe before speaking.

" I'm sorry if I offended you, " pushing yourself off the frame, you come closer and envelop her into a hug from behind, " I meant to say thank you for doing soething so thoughtful - "

she cuts you off, " and disgusting."

You roll your eyes before continuing, " and disgusting but I want you to know that I really appreciate and love you. "

she ponders for a few seconds before mumbling a I love you too.

"Get off of me now, your stubble is making my neck itch."

" My stubble isn't anywhere near you!"

“Attention!” You shouted, causing all of the scouts in front of you to step into a salute, standing completely still like statues. You sigh before you start to give out instructions for their workout, which did include some heavy conditioning, but was shorter than normal. Honestly though, you would’ve preferred to be in their place. While they were going to be enduring hell for about an hour and a half, the movement from their bodies would generate heat, the thing you were currently lacking. You tried to nestle yourself further into the fur trimmed trench coat you were wearing and pulled up the burgundy scarf, grasping for any form of warmth that you could get. 

“You look like an idiot.” You turned around quickly, instantly recognizing the speaker's voice, and shot him an unamused expression. Bundled up and sat atop his horse, your boyfriend, Levi, looked down at you with indifference in his eyes.

“I can accept that insult if my looking like this keeps me warm,” you huff, turning back around to look at the cadets. Some of them even began to shed their layers opting to simply wear their white button ups. You dig your mittened hands further into your coat pockets, feeling even colder just from looking at them. You hear a crunch of boots behind you, signaling that Levi hopped off his horse, and came to stand beside you.

“Shouldn’t have done that Levi, now you’re gonna have to have me help you back up.” You quip, earning a glare from the captain. He simply scoffs and elbows you, hard, in the side. “Ouch, what the hell.” you grumble.

“How much longer do you have to be out here,” he asks, his eyes on the tired cadets in front of him. You begrudgingly take out your hand to check your pocket watch, but end up reveling in the fact that they only had about ten more minutes left. You tell Levi about the time and he nods, making no effort to move.

“Are you waiting for me?” You inquire, a small smile spreading across your face. The raven-haired captain says nothing but stays put. Your smile widens into a grin and you step closer to him, your hips almost touching. “Thank you.” Levi hums in response and the two of you settle into a comfortable silence as you watch the scouts finish up. When it’s finally time, you make every cadet put their coats back on (you’d be damned if they caught a cold due to negligence) and ushered them back into the main building to grab some dinner before they could retire to the shower houses and then to their barracks. As they begin to wander off, Levi swiftly grabs onto your arm and leads you towards the captains’ quarters. “Hey I haven’t eaten yet!” You complain, tugging your body back towards the direction of the dining hall.

“I’ll get some delivered to your quarters, you need to warm yourself up.” He says, a definitive tone to his voice.

“I’m perfectly fine, it’ll only take a few minutes,” you protest, still hell-bent on getting food for yourself. You were a captain, for heaven’s sake, you were surely capable of getting food for yourself. Levi pauses to grab both of your arms, somewhat forcing you to look at him.

“You need to warm up. You get cold way too easily and then I have to hear an earful about it later. So get you and your red ass nose into your personal quarters and take a damn bath.” Levi states. You eventually give in under his ‘don’t test me’ gaze and grumble all the way back to the captains’ quarters with him by your side. The two of you part ways when you enter and you follow his directions and immediately fill up a bath with the warmest water you could get. While you hated the cold weather with a burning passion, the feeling of your shivering body being enveloped by warm bath water will never cease to be one of your favorite feelings. You close your eyes and lean back, soaking up the warmth when you hear a door open. You panic for a second and try to cover yourself with a towel in fear that a higher up, or worse, a cadet has managed to make their way into your quarters.

“I-I’m not decent! Please wait outside!” You say, sounding a little strangled, but the door opens anyways. Thankfully it reveals Levi.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” He says, closing the door with his foot. You give him a glare, but your expression instantly lightens when you see a tray of food in his hands. He takes you in and lets a small chuckle escape his mouth. “Warmer?” He asks, setting down the tray on the little side table next to you. You sit up a bit in the bath and snatch the spoon from his hands, sinking it into the soup and bringing it to your mouth. You hum at the taste - for some reason, today they had splurged on the scout regiment and supplied them with beef and barley soup instead of the usual bean soup.

“Warmer.” you confirm, digging back into the soup and dipping some of your bread into it. “Good.” Levi says, standing up to press a kiss onto your head and exiting the bathroom, giving you a bit more time to yourself. When you were done with both your dinner and your bath, you drained the tub and gingerly stepped out of it, wrapping a towel snug around your body. You step out to see Levi in your bed, donned in his sleepwear, and a book in his hands. You smile as you make your way over to the wardrobe stationed in the corner of your room and take out the warmest pair of sleepwear you could find - a wool long sleeve that you used to wear before you became a scout, and a pair of long pants that just covered your ankles. You pad your way over to your side of the bed and climb in, quickly covering yourself in the blankets. Levi spares you a glance, gives a small smile, and returns his gaze to his book; not before he lifts his arm closest to you, giving you the signal that you could come close to him. You take the opportunity immediately and glom onto his side. For some weird reason, Levi’s bodily temperature always seemed to run hot while yours was consistently colder, making him just that more wantable to you. “Y’know sometimes I think you just use me as a personal heater and nothing else.” He remarks, setting his book down on the side table and blowing out the candle next to him.

“Yeah, and what if I do.” You mumble back to him, your eyes drooping closed, exhaustion seemingly taking over your body. You feel his body shift as he slides down to rest his head on the pillow and pulls you closer to him. His chin finds purchase on top of your head, his other arm wrapping around your waist.

“Then fine.” He says, making you laugh a bit.

“You’d be fine if I was just using you for your warmth?” You quip back, snuggling your head further into the crick of his neck. He hums and rubs circles into your hip with his thumb.

“And, that is?”

“Like...I was thinking, of how great of a family we would make. Along with one day if I will take your last name!” Y/N said all in a cheerful and shy tone, his girlfriend was clearly all happy and her smile doesn’t seem like it would go away on her pretty face. She then was excited to hear his response, about how instantly he would prepare marrying Y/N.

But...Levi picked it up right away what she meant, and stayed quiet. Y/N’s confidence and love towards Levi showed that you were ready for a married life with him, and having his last name, clearly indicated this was the kind of a serious relationship she meant.

Y/N took in with the way how he did not respond and thought of him being worried, “D-Don't worry! I am sure you will be a great Father, I mean you are such a great boyfriend to me and-”

But Levi got up and put both of his hands on her shoulder which made her jolt, this made Y/N have a sinking feeling in her stomach, something felt wrong, the mood and vibe wasn't right and she started to feel anxious. “I, don’t think I can.”

Now, she felt as if her heart skipped a beat, her eyes widen and she gasped and was now speechless. She couldn’t believe it, and now her whole expression, happy vibe and her cheerful mood she was at a while ago, disappeared dramatically.

“I’m not into.....marriage.” Levi finally spoke, not thinking straight of what he just said, and of how sudden this topic was. Levi said this as he did not want to make her feel distressed, in fact himself feeling distressed. But, he had no idea how those words, completely shattered the Y/N he knew that was once cheerful, lovely and happy, gone.

She wanted to be with the man she first loved in her life, ever since she met him, and be his wife. But, she was lost and confused, didn’t Levi want her by his side too?

“Levi, Is that what you really think?....Don't you want me too? I though I meant something to you.” All her spirit was now gone, she looked down and had a very sad expression, her eyes soon to tear up.

Levi again, was speechless, he did not know what to say to her for once. He was caught off guard. That’s cause, he never really talked about this topic with anyone actually, unlike other people who have close friends or families who may have talked about marriage, Levi did not and it was just Y/N in his life he trusted and shared many things to.

So, when this was brought up in the conversation, this caught him really off guard and he just...stayed quiet, not sure what to say.

But to Y/N, that was an answer to her already, and without giving Levi any more time or in fact, not wasting his time, she slightly pushed his arms off her shoulders and walked away from him, going to the bathroom.

Y/N took this as a way he never wants to marry her and that shattered and broke her heart.

After a couple of weeks, both Y/N and Levi’s relationship kept falling apart, and as Levi tried his best to keep the relationship stable. Y/N, could not keep up with it, with her overwhelming mixed feelings of shame and sadness. This lead to Y/N having her feelings hurt.

One day, Levi enters their shared flat after coming back from a grocery store. He decided to cook dinner for his girlfriend tonight and have a romantic dinner with her, he wanted her spirit back, her love back, and after some time thinking, sorting out his emotions, Levi then knew that he would be willing to do anything for her happiness.

But, as he entered the living room, he saw Y/N with a suitcase and her backpack.

“What...” Levi said with a gasp, and his eyes widen, he stood there being shocked. Surely he was misunderstanding the situation...right?

“I am leaving, I can’t do this anymore.”

Levi dropped the bags he was carrying, on the ground, and he felt his heart skipped a beat. Did he hear it right? Did she actually say that?

“No, No. No!” He approached his girlfriend and held on her shoulders.

“Babe, we can fix this. Please stay with me, You don’t need to leave...I-I can’t lose you too.” He started to tremble slightly. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing!

“Stay with me, my love?” Levi then said once again, looking at her face who was now emotionless and she slightly pushed him away and that was the last time he ever saw her again.

Levi and his S/O mutually break things off because Y/N has always wanted to be Levi’s wife, having a lovely wedding and making a great family with him. But Levi didn’t seem to want any of that as he never spoke to her after that time and that caused his girlfriend, well now, ex-girlfriend, to thinking he didn’t want any of that and thinking there was no future after all with him.

Levi did not expect any of this, his ex leaving him after what he told her, and this leaves Levi all heart broken and being emotionally damaged. An emotional rejection from Y/N that damaged his mood and self-esteem. But, he still moved on and continued on with his life. He took most of the blame because he had to let her know sooner that, he would actually do anything for her happiness and love again, but he was apparently too late.

He would still be in their same shared flat, he cleaned it everyday and still kept two plates whenever he had breakfast or dinner, thinking one day he might see her. “She will come back to me...right?” He would mutter sometimes as he sat on the same coach they once shared and cuddled on, alone as the evening was approaching.

After what felt like forever, Levi was on his way to this well-known café that was mentioned by Hanji and he decided to check it out. But, to his surprise, he saw you, sitting inside the café, all alone drinking some tea. His heart fluttered, and his cheeks went red. Is it her?! Is it actually my Y/N?

After such a long time, he finally found her, and as soon as he wanted to approach Y/N, and thinking today is the day he will tell you how much an effect you had in his life and when you weren’t by his side, how he never realized that it took him long to figure it out that he would absolutely do anything to win you, your love and happiness back. He wanted to tell you all that, anything you wanted he was willing to give it to you now that he has finally found you. And explain to you also how, during the time you both lived together, he was actually trying to figure out with that time to make everything work out for you.

But, Levi stopped.

His heart sinking once again, that feeling he felt after such a long time.

He saw a guy, approaching you instead and....you were with him? Y/N’s face then brightened up, and she looked much happier, you smiled even more. Y/N got up from her seat and the man hugged her so tightly while caressing her back, and she was chuckling. And the man himself, seemed to be also deeply in love with you.

He then, noticed their rings, were they perhaps engaged, in their honeymoon, or perhaps they weren’t married and it was just matching rings...right? Levi wondered, begging that what he was thinking was true.

He then saw, his and Y/N’s old friends entering the café, and greeting both of them, one of them was Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie and Historia. He overhear how they were saying that they were such a happy couple and they loved and shipped them a lot. Happy for Y/N finding happiness once again. 

“I am out of time.” Levi muttered, now reality hitting him. He never had time to begin with, he knew ever since she left him. Time was lost and didn’t wait for him.

"What is this feeling?" it felt like as if someone clenched into his chest, his heart is being pulled out of his chest, his stomach having a sinking feeling. Now, he really did lose her.

But wait....maybe he has a chance? he decided to just wait, just maybe it was all a misunderstanding? Having that small hope, that everything was just an assumption, and jumping into conclusions.

After what felt like forever, he waited for them to get out of the café and approached them, to Y/N.

Her eyes widen, she couldn't believe she was seeing Levi after all these years. “Could I speak to Y/N alone, please?” Levi said sadly, and was looking at Y/N instead of the guy. 

The guy seemed to have read the mood and he let Y/N to talk to him in private, to sort out whatever was going on.

“How...have you been?” He finally said, after breaking the silence between them. Y/N nodded and looked back inside the café, “Do you wanna talk and perhaps, catch up?” Y/N uttered, and open the door to the café, she was still the friendly woman he loved and she still looked absolutely even more beautiful to his eyes, he just didn’t want this moment to end.

They then, started to catchup, how things were going for both of them, how they both were and then Levi asked if she was alright. Y/N finally told him that she has been engaged and she would be getting married soon, she let all their friends know about it and to be invited, and she said she would be happy if he would be able to come too, inviting him to her wedding. Levi was now having mixed of emotions, sad but also happy that she was not in a terrible state, and not sad after what has happened. She has picked herself up and lived her life, and finally her dream becoming true and a nice man who loved her, also wanting to marry her too.

They decided to be distant but in good-terms friends, and she was hoping that one day he could meet her fiancée properly. Levi just sat there, smiling. Smiling because he was actually happy to know that there was someone out there to love her, and not treat her bad, and give her what she wanted, which he could have done if he had done it earlier. But of course, it was Y/N, who wouldn’t love her?

He was actually happy for her, seeing her smile, and happy, and she had grown and matured to be such a beautiful woman. “You...will be such a great Mother.” He finally, said with a smile, and that warmed Y/N’s heart. Hearing that, especially from him, made her so happy and glad to hear that since she always wanted to be, but afraid she wouldn’t be. She looked down, at her teacup and tears were running down her cheeks, she was crying happy tears. Y/N never knew how his words would actually be heart warming for her, and he was ready to even support her anytime.

On the day, finally the wedding day, it was filled with love and laughter form everyone, and everyone congratulating them, all their friends crying and cheering for Y/N and the man she was gonna marry.

Levi of course came, and sat at the back, away from the crowd, and he was feeling heart-warmed seeing Y/N being happy once again and her smile and her sight was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, he found it breathtaking, capturing every moment.

“That....could have been us.” He uttered to himself and got up, leaving the wedding as it almost came to an end, he thought his presence wouldn’t really matter to him much now and he left the wedding. 

“Hm, where is Levi? I still haven’t thanked him properly.” Y/N said looking around, and her husband held on her hand and gave her a sweet smile, “Don't worry, I am sure we will see him soon. But he left this for you.” Her husband, handed to her a bag filled with gifts, and a card saying ‘Congratulations, Wishing you a long and happy marriage Y/N.’

After a long day, Levi finally got back home. When Levi goes back to his flat now, no longer calling it ‘our flat’, he still had Y/N’s stuff that she left behind and haven’t thrown them away or moved its position. Y/N really did have a big impact in his life.

He looked through their old memories, gifts she gave him, pictures they took together, letters she wrote for him that was all placed inside a box and he was taking them out one by one. Smiling at them, as how great of a person she was to him.

But, he did really just wanted to grab your hand one last time, say that he always loved you, kiss you one last time, and have you by his side in the flat one last time, looking at your sleepy face and waking up to see your lovely face and sight every morning. He missed it and those days would warm his heart, Y/N did made Levi feel so special before and he was grateful to even be her boyfriend for that period of time. She showed him and gave him love which he thought he would never get, but because of her, he did.

Levi really thought from now, he won’t be able to find that kind of love anymore that he had with Y/N. But, he was very thankful to even have it in the first place. Because to him, Y/N was his everything and he did still care for her. Levi felt convinced though when he met Y/N, it was her and the last relationship he will have and he would be proud to say that she was once his lover and girlfriend.

He stayed still, sitting on the coach and laying down, looking at the ceiling. Levi was smiling, but his eyes then started to tear up slowly. “I promised her that, whenever she is happy....I should be happy too. So why am I like this? Fuck, I am terrible.”

Levi deep down just wanted to know, and he thought to himself saying, ‘Does Y/N even remember our past relationship, Did I have an impact in her life? Did I mean something in her life? Did she forget all our memories and moments together?’

After questioning himself this, he then realized that...when he said to Y/N he was not into marriage. It was a lie. He was actually lowkey scared and in that moment, it was said out of fear. Fear of how he might not be a great father or husband and might fuck things up, and he wanted to be ready and prepared he was the man for you, the one and only for you. He then, whimpered silently to himself in the dark, letting out all of his bottled up emotions.

It’s their bittersweet love, and it’s bittersweet since whenever he thought of the past, it would involve a feeling of happiness and sadness at the same time. But, he finally was at peace now, after seeing you for such a long time, and now knowing you are doing well and great, being taking care of by a great man. He does feel like he has missed out that future Y/N was talking about before, but seeing her cheerful and joyful, he was now content with Y/N and satisfied with her living her dreams, even if it was not with him, he would still support her with all his heart.

okay I did not expect to make this fanfic so sad but a little heart warming at the same time??! I definitely did not tear up while writing this- ANYWAYS! This is my first time to write something like this so please, let me know what you think of this and I hope you somehow liked the bittersweet love between Levi and Y/N!

“tch,” captain levi pushed himself off the table he had been leaning on. “the brat is out of control. while i have no problem beating the living shit out of him, i doubt more fighting is what he needs.”

hange nodded. “it seems he’s either too tired to heal himself or he chooses not to. his injuries are taking longer and longer to disappear. we have to do something before it’s too late.” 

before it’s too late. 

you shuddered. the thought of something happening to eren sent a shiver down your spine. worrying about him was like second nature to you and the only one who appeared to understand you was mikasa. 

“with all due respect, commander,” armin spoke up, his bright blue eyes studying the room before continuing. “we have all tried. he doesn’t want to listen to any of us. it’s pointless.”

a sigh fell from his lips, as a subconscious hand rubbed his bandaged shoulder. poor armin. even the innocent, genius best friend had been unlucky enough to experience eren’s wrath. 

“everyone but y/n.”

your eyes darted toward the mention of your name and you met captain levi’s steady gaze. you cowered under his intense stare, feeling other eyes on you as well. you cleared your throat, feeling a weird sense of pressure in the pit of your stomach. 

“i’ve tried, too,” you swallowed thickly, refusing to remember all the times you had tried to talk him. “i- he doesn’t want to listen.” 

“you haven’t really tried,” levi remarked. “the brat’s picking fights left and right. every little thing seems to set him off and you are the only one who can get him to stop. y/n, we all see the way he looks at you. eren might be humanity’s last hope, but right now, you’re his.” 

your heart was thumping in your chest. you had noticed the difference in eren’s actions toward you as well. the touches that lingered a little bit longer than normal, the longing stares he thought you never noticed, the way his anger practically melted away when his name left your lips... 

but to hear someone else confirm it aloud felt weird. foreign. because you had pushed those observations to the back of your mind, desperate not to over-analyze any of them. the two of you were just friends. 

a knock on the door startled you out of your messy web of thoughts. the door opened before either one of the superiors could give permission to do so, revealing a timid yet determined sasha. she addressed the whole room, but her brown eyes were on you. 

“um, sir, sorry to interrupt, but eren and jean are back at it again and i’m afraid neither one of them is stopping, sir.” 

no one seemed to notice the half-eaten potato clutched in her hand - or if they did, they chose not to mention it - as she saluted the captain and commander. you were already practically out of your seat before she could finish and the look from sasha that went unnoticed by everyone else certainly did not go unnoticed by you. 

you followed hot on her heels, your gaze fixated on her bobbing ponytail as she scurried through the hallways but your mind totally elsewhere. there was an uneasy feeling bubbling deep inside you and no matter what you told yourself, you couldn’t shake it. 

while eren did lack the ability to take control of his emotions and strategically plan out his next moves, his brute strength and impeccable hand-to-hand combat techniques made up for it. therefore, you were more worried about jean than eren, to say the least. 

so, to say you were surprised when you entered the field and laid eyes on the two was an understatement. the sight you had imagined and prepared yourself for was nowhere to be seen. instead, the one eren was injuring was himself. by the look of it, there definitely had been a fight between him and jean, but the latter was merely watching connie’s attempts at stopping the brunette. 

you came to a halt immediately, unsure of how to process the scene playing out in front of you. a trembling hand mutes a sob, which is now nothing more than a pained whimper as your eyes traveled up and down eren’s body, mentally assessing his injuries. 

his nose was definitely bleeding. this wasn’t an unusual sight as it tended to happened a lot during his early experiment stages with hange. but you weren’t prepared for the bruising that was already forming and there was no doubt in your mind that his nose was broken. 

his forehead was stained red as well, strands of his growing hair sticking to the sides of his face. it was impossible for you to appraise the extent of the damage as you were unable to determine the origin of the crimson liquid. 

everything seemed to happen in slow motion and too fast all at once. at the sight of the your group, connie’s attempts were replaced by captain levi’s with mikasa not far behind. hange made a beeline for jean, who was muttering frustrated nothings while rubbing his jaw. 

so eren had gotten a few hits in. 

a gentle nudge brought you back, once again, from the dark chaos within your mind. you met armin’s blue orbs, attempting to ignore the pure worry swimming within them. his eyebrows arched as a silent plea and you followed his gaze to where eren was wildly trashing against the captain. 

in any other situation, you would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. the captain’s height was a frequent talking point among your group and there was no denying how small he looked compared to eren’s towering frame. in any other situation, you also would not have bothered hiding how impressed you were with the captain’s ability to overpower the younger boy. 

“y/n-” levi warned, voice strained, as the bloodied boy continued to attempt resisting him. 

with a nod (to convince yourself or as a response to levi, you were unsure), your unsteady legs carried you toward the two of them. eren’s eyes were wild with determination, his nostrils flaring with anger. but you quickly realized when walking closer that there were a dozen other emotions pooling within his emerald orbs. 

“eren,” his name fell from your mouth with ease. skillfully, you maneuvered your hand around his flailing limbs, placing your palm on his swollen cheek. “eren, it’s okay. hey - stop, it’s okay, i’m here.” 

it was as if a boulder had fallen off his shoulders. his actions halted immediately and his entire body relaxed at the sound of your voice. you wouldn’t have believed the effect you had on him if you hadn’t just witnessed it. levi reluctantly let go of eren, still on stand-by in case the boy would try anything.

“y/n,” your name fell from his lips just as easily, his voice nothing more than a whisper. 

and just like that, he crumbled underneath your touch. you fell to the ground with him, ignoring the pain as your knees came in contact with the hardened dirt beneath you. bringing your other hand up as well, you trapped his face, forcing him to meet your gaze. 

he didn’t try to look anywhere else. he couldn’t. the pained look he was giving you was almost too much and you resisted the urge to look away. his bottom lip was trembling, the slit in it leaking blood with every movement. you found yourself having to withstand the yearning to kiss the pain away. 

“eren, what’s going on with you?” you tried to maintain a steady voice but there was no doubt that everybody could pick up on the worry behind every word. “this is- you can’t keep doing this. you have done nothing but talk with your fists and you need to stop. you can’t go picking fights with everybody over the smallest things.”

eren didn’t respond. the mixture of dirt and blood - both dried and fresh - and the threat of nightfall made it hard to see, but the violent jerks of his body made it obvious: he was crying. your own tears fell as well as sob after sob raked through his body. 

“i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” you swallowed down your own cries, your mind focused on nothing but helping the heartbroken boy in your arms. “eren, i need you to talk to me. please?”

“w-why? you shouldn’t- i’m a monster. a stupid good-for-nothing bastard. you- why do you want to help me?”

anger coursed through your veins. you wanted to beat the living shit out of whoever had made him feel this way about himself. they had absolutely no right. eren’s cries echoed in the twilight. you didn’t check if your comrades were still an audience. frankly, you didn’t care. 

“you want to know why? because you’re human. because you have the abilities you have. because i truly believe you’re one of humanity’s last hopes. because you deserve to have someone believe in you the way you believe in saving all of us,” you inhaled deeply, overcome with emotion. “because i love you.” 

eren’s sobs stopped just like that; as if they had an off button that you just pushed. the momentary silence - which felt way longer than you would ever admit - was broken by a sound somewhere between a shaky sigh and a surprised gasp coming from eren. 

you couldn’t bring yourself to regret your confession. you didn’t feel an ounce of remorse and definitely not any embarrassment. maybe it was due to eren also showing vulnerability or maybe it was because you had practiced said confession more than once. 

you didn’t care. he knew. he knew now and that was all that mattered. 

his eyes searched your face. you weren’t sure for what, but you assumed for a sign of wether or not you were speaking the truth. your features held nothing but earnest as you returned his analyzing stare and it seemed to satisfy his silent investigation. 

“i feel- it’s too much. too much pressure. i don’t know what i’m doing anymore. i’m not- there has to be someone else. i-i can’t do it... so many people. they’re all dead because of me. i’m not strong enough to-” 

the last drops of self-control you had were eliminated by his proclamation. while it might have been difficult to comprehend for some, you had understood every word and with each broken sentence, your heart ached more and more. 

eren’s disjointed admissions were halted by your lips on his. you didn’t know where your newfound confidence had come from but you were grateful for its presence. his lips molded against yours almost instantly - so effortlessly. 

you ignored the taste of iron just as eren ignored the stinging from the cut on his lip. while the kiss was nowhere near being sexual, it was definitely more than just a peck. your lips moved together in pain and understand and love and relief. 

unwillingly, you pulled away. suddenly aware that you more than likely still had an audience, the fresh evening air felt good against your flushed cheeks. the two of you remained silent, attempting to revert your breathing patterns back to normal. 

eren rested his forehead against yours. you were sure sasha could practically hear the way your heart was stammering in your chest. and if not, eren definitely could. with each thump, your chest tightened and you were sure that if human bodies had not been designed with rib cages, your heart would have been long gone. 

your thumb caressed his cheek, his fresh tears smearing with the dried crimson in the process. a gust of wind took ahold of the few pieces of hair framing your face. eren gingerly grabbed the loose strands, tucking them behind your ear. he had done so countless times before, but something just felt different this time around. 

“i love you, too,” he whispered, the previous insecurities long gone from his voice. he had never spoken truer words. 

you smiled. “let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? and i think you might owe someone an apology.” 

eren’s limbs ached and although he didn’t want to admit to that, his body betrayed him. he had just barely stood back up when his trembling legs buckled. he prepared to meet the cold ground and the pain that would ensue, but a pair of hands caught him before it happened. 

you were just as surprised as eren appeared to be as levi attempted to steady him. it seemed the captain hadn’t ventured far. hyper aware that he probably had heard every word shared between you and eren, you didn’t dare meet his eyes. 

you sprung into action immediately, moving to eren’s other side. he winced as you navigated his arm around your shoulders, causing you to sputter out apologies while doing so. captain levi’s amusement didn’t go unnoticed by you or eren, but neither of you decided to comment on it. 

with you and captain levi both being significantly shorter than eren, supporting his weight was easier said than done. after some trial and error, though, the three of you were able to move almost seamlessly. 

eren’s strength was wavering by the second, you could tell, but he had enough left to come to a halt when you neared his most recent victim. you met jean’s eyes, hoping he could sense how apologetic you were. he confirmed with a nod then turned his attention to the boy who seemed to be getting heavier and heavier in your arms. 

“i’m sorry, jean, i-i honestly don’t even know... i’m sorry.”

“what? no ‘horse-face’?” the redhead chuckled, almost sadly. you realized that they had already cleaned him up. “don’t worry about it, eren. you did more damage to yourself than me anyway.” 

jean placed a hand on eren’s arm that was thrown over your shoulder. the interaction was brief but seemed to mean a lot to the both of them. then, they nodded and jean walked back toward the remainder of the group. sasha and connie were both saying words to him that you couldn't hear. 

you could feel the distressed stares that armin and mikasa were both sending in your direction. you gave them a nod, promising that their childhood friend was okay. he would be, at least. you had already made it your mission to ensure it. 

as you and captain levi hauled eren toward his dorm, the severity of the situation began feeling heavy on your shoulders. eren had definitely broken more than a few rules and you were sure captain levi would make sure he was punished for his insubordination. 

you weren’t entirely sure you would be off the hook either. sure, you hadn’t broken rules or gone against direct orders, but you hadn’t exactly abided either. captain levi could easily find a reason for why you should receive punishment as well and no one would even question it. 

captain levi’s steel eyes followed your every move as you opened the door to eren’s room, you could feel it. it didn’t feel like his typical burning glare but you couldn’t quite place your finger on the emotion behind the action either. 

as if sensing your thoughts that were now moving a hundred miles a minute, a groan came from eren. you watched them both quietly as captain levi managed to plop eren down on the chair you had placed next to the bath. another groan escaped the green-eyed boy and you could tell he was exhausted and in pain.

“captain, i’m-”

“tch. save it, brat. we have all been there and if they haven’t, they will. i’m surprised it took you this long. you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, kid,” levi interrupted, turning his attention toward you. “y/n, i trust you’ll take good care of humanity’s last hope. i’ll see the both of you at breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“i- yes, sir.” 

captain levi left without another word, leaving you and eren alone for the first time all day. you suddenly felt hesitant, unsure of what to do next. eren’s grunts of frustration filled the silent room as he began - well, tried to anyway - removing his tunic. 

you swatted his hands away gently, removing the article of clothing with ease. you had seen eren’s bare body before but you were still just as awestruck. this time, though, his skin was littered with scrapes, cuts and bruises of almost every color imaginable. you swallowed the urge to yell at him. 

the silence continued as you washed his body ever-so-gently. once you had been able to get him into the tub, that is. more than once, you had to momentarily stop your actions to check if eren had either fallen asleep or passed out. 

every time, his eyelids would flutter open instinctively, as if missing the warmth of your touch the second it disappeared. his green eyes would widen until they landed on you and he would relax, his lids falling shut once again. 

the silence wasn’t uncomfortable; it was filled with unspoken words of gratitude and affection. the two of you enjoyed it to the fullest - maybe even a little too much. reluctantly, you stopped running your fingers through his brown locks that never seemed to stop growing. 

eren didn’t protest when you told him it was time to get out despite how much he wanted to. he also didn’t protest and tried his best to help when you began putting a change of clothes on him. he didn’t protest when you whispered it was time for bed, either. 

he did protest when you attempted to take your leave, however. 

“stay,” it was a soft plea that pulled on your heartstrings. “please?”

and, so, you climbed into bed with him without hesitation. he nuzzled into the crook of your neck so quickly that it seemed like second-nature to him and was asleep within minutes, his soft snores the only sound within range. 

well, you had definitely broken rules now. but you decided that eren sleeping next to you was more than worth whatever form of discipline captain levi could ever devise. you would handle whatever it was with pride if it meant you could stay like this forever. 

/ / / / / 

It made you jealous to see Eren and Mikasa happy together, because you’ve always wanted the childhood best friends to lovers story-- the type where both of you knew that you were made for each other. It made you jealous to know that Eren and Mikasa never considered loving anyone else but each other, because it was something you’ve always wanted too.

To be someone else’s since the day you were born, and to have someone to call yours-- someone who felt and knew that all they wanted in the world was to be with you. You envied the type of love Eren and Mikasa had.

It also made you jealous to see Armin and Annie, because while Annie was always a loner, she somehow found someone who understood her the way Armin did. Annie often stuck with herself and away from the group; she vibed on her own and was ok with it. And yet, she somehow attracted someone as smart and caring as Armin. She found someone who took the time to understand her flaws and love her for her.

You desperately wished you could look as cool and beautiful like Annie when you were alone. But instead, you always just looked dull or scared or boring. It’s like you were never enough of anything-- never pretty enough, never smart enough, never athletic enough-- to able to attract anyone’s eyes. You envied Annie and Armin and what they had going between them.

It bothered you that you sometimes found yourself surprised that you were still single-- why should you be surprised? Of course every guy would fall for one of your friends; they’re all gorgeous, and you’re not.

They’re sweet and poise, while you often stumbled on your words if you weren’t ranting about your favorite books and tv shows. Of course every single guy would fall for every other girl but you-- you just never had the it factor. But what can you do but accept that?

You’ve been watching the greatest love stories unfold like Eren and Mikasa, and Armin and Annie. You’ve had the highest of high expectations and no matter the cost, you didn’t want to settle for less. You better get used to being alone-- it’s not like anyone would ever love you for the way you are now.

But while you may not have gotten the epic childhood best friends to lovers story nor the reincarnated soulmates fairytale, you at least got to watch everyone’s love story bloom. Lacking any type of romance in your life allowed you to catch even the most subtle beauties of romance in your world: from the slightest of touches to the brightest sunsets, you found love in everything.