#queer discussion

HELLO CRUEL WORLD!

do you have something you just gotta get off your chest, but you’re afraid of people’s judgement?

well then, this is certainly the blog for you!

Step 1: send in an ask

Step 2: wait (not long hopefully)

Step 3: hear from your peers (stress-free!)

tags:

Transdefeminization is the best I can imagine for a word like that, or maybe transmalmasculinization. which is just the worst word ever.

blehhhh!! i wish for words!! all the words!

but rather live in this false reality in which we pretend we don't know what it means and act like it's really hard to understand & grasp

& the ONLY POSSIBLE way to understand it is by dissecting the word & trying to guess what it means in the worst faith way possible to really show how stupid minorities are for ever trying to talk about their issues!

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hyperbolic example: "tr ans and ro ph obia" ? none of of those thing make sense seperately! so obviously you are hysterical and absurd😎

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this is why you don't argue linguistics, kid, it never works unless everyone agrees to play stupid.

(more in depth & poorly written talkings under the cut)

observation 1: from what ive seen the pro-tma/tme side is made up of transfemenists & the like who are trying to create distinguishing labels for this idea* of transmisogyny that is basically a coagulation of all the struggles trans women and transfemmenine people face. which i think is fair; it’s a clear way of saying Here Is Who Is Marginalized In This Way and Who Isnt. there are reasons for why and how that distinction would be important for this within transfemenism especially when it comes to who has a say in certain things, sure

*(i say idea because i read a post that quotes julia serano, author of whipping girl and coiner of the term transmisogyny, who explains that her definition is more encompassing of different experiences at the intersection of “male” perception and femeninity, which is pretty different from what the definition that the pro-tma/tme people SEEM (as i am not fully certain) to have) (ALSO i need it to be made clear that i have not as of now read whipping girl but i fully intend to because it sounds absolutely Fascinating and would hopefully probably give me a whole lot more insight into this)(THOUGH i do want to recognize that julia serano is a relatively privileged trans woman and physically cannot experience or write all of the different experiences possible under that wide umbrella of experience, so there may be some nuance that that’s missing ? i wouldnt know and i wouldnt know how much)

observation 2: as far as i can tell the anti-tma/tme people’s idea is thus: with the description of transmisogyny being only about trans women and transfemenine people, it creates this binary of transfem people and non transfem people that isnt easily applicable to gnc and nonbinary people, either who dont want or dont have a way to define themselves within this binary or who have a more nuanced experience of gender and gender they’re perceived as. very basically. also it leaves out how trans men and transmasc people are affected by versions of misogyny and transphobia and that those things intersect (which is not included by that above definition of transmisogyny). so there’s that

observation 3: both parties AS FAR AS I CAN TELL (because there is Definitely nuance to all of this but those are not the views i have seen as much . generally) seem to think that the other party, through opposing their views, HATES them and is a transmisogynist or a “transandrobro” (im not incredibly familiar with that term and if anyone has insight it to that id love to hear it, especially to go against the definition of the idea that ive looked up and what is the common colloquial use of the term) and is basically just their sworn enemy. (which is not true btw. there are always some awful shitty people but youve gotta remember that your real “enemies” are Real Life Meatspace transphobes. those are the ones who want to bring you down and all this infighting is genuinely taking years of my (and all of our!!!) life). it just seems very hostile and id love if more people could approach it with a heart full of love and the hope that we can reach agreements and common ground

IN CONCLUSION: there’s a lot of stuff being said about the idea of tma/tme and i dont know Enough about it. if you dont either lets learn together!! im also not going to make any definitive stance on that because i feel like i dont have much information. help a girl(gn) out and convince me of something, maybe, if you have a firm idea. i dont think ill ever be violently for or against one side, and i hope you arent either. just to be able to live a life with a mind open to discussion. but!!!! id love to know any of your ideas!!!!!!!! please please please!!!!!!!!!! prove me wrong on anything, agree with me, change your minds with me (or dont, i guess) and please help me because i want to approach this topic as sort of collecting data and if you have ANY opinion At All i want to hear it. please (TOTALLY /nf dont feel pressured im sorry if you do, you dont have to at all but id love it if you did, genuinely)

so Yeah. that’s it. a whole big thought dump about transmisogyny and tma/tme labels and trans discourse and a lot about it. i wrote this is alllll for fun please remember that. thank you for reading. i love you a lot and i hope you have the best nights sleep you ever did have the next time you go to bed <3 mwah mwah

sincerely, a somewhat-privileged and also somewhat uninformed nonbinary/transmasc-ish (not a big fan of labels but In That Direction) person who is incredibly interested in everything forever & wants to learn (educate me!!!)

I know I post a lot about queer discourse but goddamn, but back in around 2014 I remember the big thing I kept seeing was the Dual/Split Attraction Model where people were saying that your romantic and sexual attraction can't be seperate/different and I was so confused cause like... What about Ace people that liked sex? That seemed like smoking gun evidence IMO

It was all just so confusing because it felt like a "Wait why wouldn't this be the case?" When I was first realizing I was queer

I was 14 once and reading things definitely too mature for me which is what inspired this post so this goes out to the teenagers doing the same, I see you, and I have to put this here: as a legal adult I advise against engaging with mature content before the age of 18. --I know you're going to do it anyway though so please, please be mindful about what you are consuming.

I can not imagine what it would have done to my perception of myself and others as a young queer girl if people all around me on the internet were calling others creeps for enjoying the same media I did.

If you were to be fetishizing queer media, you would ONLY be engaging with it for sexual gratification. Notice how I said only. Obviously romantic media is going to have portrayals of sexual activities or show people that are attractive. And of course that would probably arouse you in some way unless youre asexual (or otherwise have no interest in sex). If the only reason you engage with queer media at all, ever, is to gain sexual gratification from it, that is a fetish. But watching heated rivalry and thinking the sex scenes are hot or reading a fanfic and getting turned on by a sex scene IS NOT WRONG.

People would never, and are not, accusing straight people of being predators for engaging with mature heterosexual media so why queer people?

Well, from my point of view, it's mainly because queer people have been and still are hypersexualized by the public and even within. Queer people are typically thought of as a sexuality before a human, for example the "how do you even..." type of questions. Queer spaces are also sacred and very few so there is a feeling of protectiveness from people within these spaces. However, I think we need to be mindful of how we use and direct words and accusations.

Holy shit it pisses me off so much that people are so quick to jump to the strongest, most harmful conclusions on the internet without proper research, thinking, and understanding. Almost everything posted on the internet is phrased definitively, which leads to repeated statements with little to no actual discussion.

On that note, feel completely free to let me know if you feel differently or have another view point on this matter. I love thoughtful discussion and I don't wish to argue.

As a queer person enjoying queer media, you are not wrong, you are not gross, you are not a predator, and you are not fetishist.

for good measure here are two definitions