#psdit

If you see me sitting here in the booth of this buffet restaurant, I look abled. You see me laughing and animatedly talking with my friend. You see me eating and drinking without assistance. And then, when you see me get up from the table and my service dog gets out, you give me a *look*. Why does the young adult who looks fine need this dog with her? Well, there are things you can't see. You can't see the pain I am in even as we sit here. My joints pop and strain and hurt, and I am struggling. You can't see the dissociation I'm experiencing, the dizziness and derealization. You can't see me fighting away the panic that is so deeply ingrained, the way I'm watching every person that squeezes by me. You can't see just how much my service dog has helped me the entire time we've been here, the way she's making it possible for me to function here at all. And sometimes, if people ask and I have the energy, I will explain a little bit of that. I will tell them that my service dog is my lifeline and allows me to live my life. But, it's not my responsibility to do so. It's not my job to tell everyone I see exactly what my dog does and how/why I need her. I am allowed to just be, and to simply exist with my medical aid. I am allowed to be 'invisibly' disabled and not have to disclose anything that I don't want to. And so are you ❤️

We are looking into owner-training a psychiatric service dog.

Can we talk about independence for a moment? I just moved to a new college. A bigger college. A university. I know no one here. I used to be so dependent on people. I wouldn’t go to the cafe without someone with me, even if that meant not eating till later, I wouldn’t never go to stores by myself, even if I needed something right away. Löfte gives me some more independence. I don’t have to go to the cafe anymore (kitchen in dorm) but I do have to go to stores etc. Tonight we went to Target to grab some juice. Anxiety was high and I didn’t want to go in. But I had to. I went in and we walked around a bit with headphones in and mask on of course. Made it through and got the juice. Looking back years ago, I’d never have done it. I would have waited. But I know no one here. This is a big step for both of us. Steps some disabled people never get to take. Do not take your independence for granted. When you loose it, you loose a lot. You sacrifice a lot. Here’s to firsts and starting the new year right.

I have wanted a service dog since I was 13 years old; before I even knew I was multiply disabled and frequently boiled it down to, “haha, yeah I’m just a little out of shape.” Late my senior year of high school, I adopted a dog from craigslist for free. A Pit - Black Labrador named Betus. He had to be washed due to... I don’t want to say aggression, but he just can’t focus. He plays too rough all the time.