#prognosis

Photography :

   Something so mundane as bumping his elbow on the corner of the table, passing through in the middle of the night to get a sip of water from the kitchen downstairs. That’s all it had been. That tiny little moment which had ripped Yusaku apart. Quite literally.

   He howled in pain and Ai came down in a flurry, turning on every light in the apartment and even he, with the brain of a supercomputer, couldn’t process what he saw when Yusaku turned just slight enough to show off his wound. It was sickening. It was bright. He had a gasp just above his elbow, where he had hit it on the corner table and it was like someone had taken a knife to him and cut a piece of him.

   Yet there was no blood. Only pure white cream. And blackberry jam.

   Yusaku’s very flesh had turned to the most impossible substance. It wasn’t flesh at all. Not anymore and for who knows how long  it had been like that without being noticed as usual.

   Poking himself cautiously, trying to decide if his eyes were deceiving him or not, Yusaku looked more closely at his wound as Ai came in closer. He held his tongue, tightly, to prevent himself from saying something which would alarm and escalate this situation. Even though to Ai, and rightfully so, it was time to panic and he really wanted to panic as he helplessly watched Yusaku go through the easygoing motions to check out the bizarre bump on his arm.

   Yusaku squinted and he angled his elbow up and down to get different perspectives on it but it did not change. It did not seem like a trick of the light. He very much had a dent in his arm, his skin flattened down and something which was not blood leaked out. It was not pus, either.

   There were flecks of seeds leaking out in a lazy, squashed streak of crushed fruit and brewed sugar, in front of a slow surplus of thickened, whipped cream. It looked unreal and yet Yusaku was touching this wound. Getting its mess on his fingers, all whilst it gave off a heart-wrenchingly sweet and enticing aroma.

   “I shouldn’t.” he mumbled.

   He was right. He really should not have but he did. In that moment where everything that was wrong was colliding, Ai could only watch as Yusaku confirmed the mysterious nature of his injury. It had to be a bad dream. A nightmare. Something so surreal could not possibly be reality: or so the artificial intelligence with free will cried.

   “It tastes nice.” Yusaku commented as he sucked his finger to clean what he had dabbed it in. “It’s cake.”

   That could not be right, of course. It was impossible. It was silly. A person simply could not be made of cake. Not now, not ever. Yet it was exactly as the doctor said; he concurred with Yusaku after examining his wound in the ER. It was cake.

   Such an absurd statement came with a referral to a specialist in rare diseases and illnesses. Genetic disorders and other disruptions and more. However, because the doctor’s specialty was so niche, she was able to see Yusaku fairly quickly. Within the fortnight after this inciting incident in the kitchen and in the meantime, the apartment had been terse.

   Ai found it incredibly worrisome that his most beloved human was suddenly made of cake. Yusaku merely found it odd. He shrugged off these concerns as Ai fussed over him, all but begged to wrap Yusaku in cotton wool until the time of the appointment. (Monday, nine am sharp.) Yet Yusaku remained blasé regarding his condition, went on with his daily life. University work, part-timing at Café Nagi’s, doing occasional trawls of the Link VRAINS. It was as though nothing had ever happened.

   But Ai was still put in the naughty corner day of as the night before he and Yusaku had gotten into it about them both going to the appointment. It was exactly for all his whinging and whining about not wanting Yusaku to hurt himself anymore in his perplexing condition that had actually made Yusaku not want him to come. That ignited the argument in the first place.

   Ai nagged and argued that he ought to go for moral support and as Yusaku’s partner but Yusaku didn’t want the company. His expression a dour shade which broke Ai’s very existent heart. The compromise ended up being that he could go, just not wearing his humanistic persona, with the SOLtiS diamond covered up by a scarf. However, Ai was satisfied enough with that conclusion, so hiding away in Yusaku’s Duel Disc, all he could do was listen in.

   The doctor’s office inside of the clinic was uncomfortably cold. Sterile, too, spick and span with not a thing out of place in the white hallways with seafoam grey coloured carpets. The waiting room had been vacant prior to Yusaku coming inside, not even a receptionist to greet him but rather the doctor herself.

   She led Yusaku down to her office and they passed pictures on the wall of diagrams explaining just a few of the ailments that she specialised in. Everything from disorders Yusaku had vaguely heard of, like Angelman Syndrome, which caused muscle atrophy, seizures, and intellectual disability to something called flower sickness which caused flowers to inhabit the inside of the body. It was oddly haunting to pass them by as they gave no clue to Yusaku’s chances.

   The doctor had Yusaku sit by her desk and she started by taking his blood pressure, just like in the ER. The velcro laden band around his upper arm caused Yusaku discomfort but he didn’t voice it, even when he noticed after it was taken off, there was a bit of an unusual indent in his arm again. Afterwards, she also had him blow into a silvery coloured balloon and a swab of his mouth. Then she took his blood. These acts were small but worrisome, slowly collecting to a bigger and greater prognosis.

   She looked disappointed from behind her glasses as she admired the newly labelled vial containing Yusaku’s blood. It was a bright and sticky red inside of the plastic. She looked up at him with a dire and grave expression.

   “It was as my co-worker in the general hospital feared,” she lamented, “even before sending this off for analysis, I am certain I know the results. Cake sickness.”

   “Cake sickness?” Yusaku echoed. “I’ve never heard of it.”

   “Many are lucky to not to.” the Doctor smiled sadly. “It affects hundreds of people around the world, at most. There’s no reason as to why it manifests, or even how it manifests. With such a small pool of patients to study it from, little is known about it. Little except…” She hesitated.

   Yusaku’s heart pounded, “Except?” he prompted her.

   The Doctor took a breath, “Except that in all cases, it is terminal.”

   “Oh.” Yusaku took the news as best as he could. Absorbing its impact as the Doctor continued, a dark shade over her face.

   “I’ve had many terminal patients in my tenure but it never gets easier. Everyone is on a different journey, even you. When the analysis comes back, I can give you a better timeline. It could be years, it could be months. It depends on the progression of it. We’ll need a brain scan, next, I can have it arranged. That will help give us the full information regarding the most damning conclusion.” the Doctor rambled.

   Yusaku swallowed, “Just… what exactly is happening to my body?” he asked in a small voice.

   “Cake Sickness causes the body to slowly rot over time. Body parts inexplicably turn into cake, the heart into fruit, and the brain into cream. It is a slow and painful death, with the only reprieve is that due to that transformation, your sense of self becomes putty. You might feel giddy, or serene, regardless of if that is your nature or characteristic.” the Doctor lectured him and her voice was so slow. Sad. Genuine in both sympathy and pain unto Yusaku. “You have my sincerest apologies and condolences. We can put together a care plan, if you like.”

   Yusaku blinked. His heart - his heart which he wanted to believe was a beating organ of flesh - jumped to his throat. He glanced downwards towards his Duel Disc, Ai was peeking out of it and the look of terror in his yellow eyes. Yusaku would never be able to forget that look - nor his own which was reflected so wrong and distorted on the convex glass of the Duel Disc’s display.

   “Thank you for, the, um, compassion, ma’am.” Yusaku diplomatically replied. “I would like to- no, prefer to discuss such things on another visitation. Perhaps, um, perhaps after the analysis has come back. With that… my… timeline. I have people I would like to talk with first before I say anything more.”

   “I understand.” the Doctor nodded.

   “I really appreciate your time, am I free to leave?” Yusaku asked.

   “The analysis should only take three weeks, will Monday at nine work for you again?” the Doctor asked.

   “Yeah, that’s fine.” Yusaku replied.

   “Good, well, take care of yourself, until we meet again.” the Doctor bowed her head deeply to Yusaku.

   Yusaku felt guilty for not bowing his head deeper in reply to the Doctor but he was the one being apologised to. For having a short lifespan. But that didn’t really surprise him. It was an awful reality to confront, one with which its horribleness twisted and knotted in his guts but it was one he had always suspected to be inevitable.

   Look at him. He was lucky to have lived past six when he had been starved and tortured. Electrocuted. He still had the scars of it. He wouldn’t have been surprised to eventually learn his heart was damaged because of the electrocution but this… This was not something he had ever pondered or considered. 

   He even considered himself lucky to have lived past thirteen. Sixteen. Any of his teens really. To have made it to twenty-three. That was impressive for him and it was all because of Ai. Ai had given him something good to live for, not just revenge.

   But Ai was the one who was taking it harder than him.

   Yusaku delayed their conversation for as long as he could. Until they were both back home and Ai was offended because of it. Flabbergasted and sputtering, whilst Yusaku took off his Duel Disc and placed it on the kitchen table so they could both sit. Eyelevel. And get everything off their chests regarding the news of Yusaku's terminal cake sickness.

   “You're dying an-and… and it's like you don’t even care!” Ai screamed.

   Yusaku shrugged. Maybe this was already that personality change the doctor had spoken of. Maybe it was the natural conclusion of his previous thoughts of mortality to begin with. He wasn’t sure, just that he felt… serene. Not that he didn’t care, like Ai said, just serene.

   “It's not supposed to be this way.” Ai continued. His initial reel of his shrieking voice quietened but somehow, that was worse than piercing Yusaku’s ears with all the horrid noise he could make in his panic and concern. “We’re supposed to be together. Forever. Partners.”

   “Ai, I'm only human.” Yusaku offered up the feeble reminder that his mortality was never going to be quite so metallic as Ai’s.

   “You're made of cake.” Ai spat venomously.

   “I guess.” Yusaku mumbled.

   “What are we going to do?” Ai tearfully asked. He slumped over, holding onto the edge of the Duel Disc. “I-It wasn’t meant to be like this. It was never like this in the-”

   “Don’t say it.” Yusaku cut in. “This is our path. Better or worse. The one we chose and overcame. I’m sorry, Ai, I’m really sorry but… I was right.” His voice cracked. “Destiny, life, the simulations… they aren’t set in stone. Or even blood. Or flesh. Apparently.”

   “We were meant… I wanted to get married. Adopt some pets…” Ai rambled in grief.

   “Ai…” Yusaku pitied him, wanting those things as well. “There might still be plenty of time, we need to wait for the results.”

   “I wanted to see you… see you live to a ripe old age.” Ai continued. Either ignoring Yusaku or straight up not hearing him. “Wait, we could upload your consciousness to-”

   “Ai, no.” Yusaku scolded him sharply.

   “Sorry.” Ai mumbled.

   “I know. I’m sorry too. I agree. It wasn’t meant to be this way.” Yusaku mumbled back.

   The atmosphere of the kitchen felt rainy. Stormy. Like it was dark and cloudy, even though the light in the fixture was decent enough. All because of the slog of emotions mixing and exchanging between both Yusaku and Ai. There was a pause where nothing was said. Just every rumination in their head, unspoken. Barely thought of because there was so much to think.

   Yet there was something, above all, that Yusaku thought and wanted to say. Even if he knew, before even saying it, Ai wouldn’t like it. That he wouldn’t want to hear. But he still found the courage to say it, even though his hands were shaking.

   “Just promise this, okay?” Yusaku said, he spoke in the tiniest voice and there was a tear rolling down his cheek, “When my end comes, please, let me die in your arms. That’s all I want.”

   “Yusaku…” Ai’s voice was soapy in his agonising grief and he hid his face behind the crook of his arm, not wanting to be seen as he sobbed.