#proclivities

Chapter 12: The Empress

An alien equivalent of a lawyer is studying up on various human court cases and stumbles upon a series of cases from family courts dated up to the mid 2030s citing "deviant sexual attitudes" or "deviant sexuality" as reasons for being an unsuitable parent. Upon consultation with its human liaison as to the nature of these cases, the alien discovers the murky and dark legal situations around kinks. -- Anon Guest

For those seeking further proof of Human Insanity, look no further than their legal records. -- Common saying amongst the Legistrar Major.

Darael was studying up for Xenolegal history, and had wound up on a wiki walk into the deepest of deep labyrinths. Humanity was like a train wreck. Fascinating from a distance, but horrifying at close range. Everyone knew the one about the hot coffee, but some of these...

Humanity - a species not naturally inclined to mate for life, invented marriage as a means of cementing relationships between polities via familial alliances. Then they traditionalised it. Then they invented divorce as a means of sundering those alliances. Often messily, loudly, and with numerous parties dragging others through the mud in the process, because property ownership was often tied solely to one gender. Which was clearly a messed up way of arranging things.

Gender Assignment Guest Blogger, Felicia Holman

Dedicated to the memories of Betty Holman & Prince Rogers Nelson (and to the future of Kendyl Holman)

“Sex isn’t all I think about, it’s all I think about U.”--’Shhh (Break It Down)’, Prince Rogers Nelson

An Origin Story

First, big thanks to Melissa Potter for inviting me to be a guest blogger for Gender Assignment. I am writing this essay (my first of four) on April 21, 2018---the second anniversary of the sudden death of my artistic and sexual muse, Prince Rogers Nelson. Today, I’m simultaneously elated and bereft; elated to be writing, bereft of both my Purple dearly beloved and the person who got me into him in the first place: My mother, Betty.

My mother, Betty / She was seeing me off on my first international flight...to Jamaica. This was '96 so she was actually with me at the boarding gate, even though I was traveling solo!

This month also marks the 10th anniversary of my mother's memorial service. As a single Black mother raising and homeschooling 2 kids on Chicago's Southside in the 1980’s, Mom was pretty unconventional. She was a working-class artist/ public intellectual/ entrepreneur/ urban gardener/ Columbia College film student/ championship-winning boys’ Little League coach/ etc... I’ll never forget how she championed my auditioning for the male lead in my 8th grade play because the female lead was too wispy (though I was ultimately cast as the female lead). Though strictly heteronormative in her own gender and sexual expression, Mom was sex-positive. She was my primary sex ed teacher and feminine wiles coach. *For Christmas during my freshman year in high school, Mom bought me my first lacy lingerie set; explaining “this is the type of underwear a young lady buys.”* Mom was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and as a result, devoutly nurtured her only daughter's sexual agency and empowerment. One of her no-nonsense metaphor resonates to this day: “You don't need anyone else to scratch your own itch!” *Which I knew to be true, ever since I’d learned how to covertly rub one out on the edge of my chair in Kindergarten.*

Erotic City, Come Alive

In a two-fold effort to break me out of my bubble gum “Michael Jackson phase” & put me on to something more subversive and avant-garde, Mom formally introduced me to Prince when she brought home the 12” 1999 double album and explained to me that Prince played all the instruments. However, it was actually the combination of seeing the Little Red Corvette video and then learning that he and I share the same birthday that cemented him as #foreverinmylife...Whereas Prince was contraband in the homes of most of my Gen X peers, those of us with “cool" parents /guardians were exposed to the crucially impactful carnal knowledge of His Purple Majesty during our tweens. *I’ve often described Prince’s cultural impact & influence as a result of his artistry grabbing us by the root and crown chakras (as his lyrics on ‘Sexuality’ clearly illustrate)!* “Little Girl Heat" (LGH) is a term I coined a few years ago during a generative rehearsal with Honey Pot Performance. I find LGH succinctly / viscerally encapsulates the phenomenon of tingling sensations and rise in core temperature I’d feel while listening to Automatic, Let’s Pretend We’re Married, Lady Cab Driver, etc. To this day, I still experience LGH when I’m overcome with desire...trust & BELIEVE!

Here & Now

As a grown-ass-woman-for-real, I am both looking back and ahead at my sexcapades. Sex has always been a ‘Quality (v. Quantity) of Life’ issue for me, but even more so for me in recent years...more on that in future posts. The candid memoirs of living legends Diahann Carroll, Grace Jones and Jenifer Lewis line my shelves as both salve and motivation. *Can’t WAIT for fellow Gen X-er Tracee Ellis Ross to grace us with hers!* Though I’m not a mom, I am a doting auntie who is determined to give my 8 y.o. niece (Kendyl) the gifts of real talk and agency that her paternal grandmother gave to me. Conversations with my niece have recently begun to include her questions about puberty as well as my ‘leading’ questions to find out what she does/doesn't already know. I find that sex ed resources tailor-made for little Black girls are still few and far between in this post-Obama 21st century, so my anecdotes and advice will be some of her primary resources. She knows that Prince is my favorite musician/entertainer/artist and that I wear a tribute button everyday since he passed. But I haven't formally introduced her to Prince music yet. I think his 2006 Golden Globe award-winning Song of the Heart (from the animated film ‘Happy Feet’) will be our entry point...it’s still years before her time.

*Bonus: If you haven't already, check out the just-released tribute video for Prince's original recording of ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’...#lghonfleek