#processing disability

Everyone keeps saying that I'm not disabled in that specific way, but what if I am? What if I literally can't have a career or an apartment of my own or anything.

i'm actively telling you how my invisible disability creates an unconscious bias in written assignments (overly formal or pedantic language often gets flagged as being AI) and social situations, and you correct my term for my own disability?! to a weak ass term that is often used to minimize the stress and impact of said disability?! COULD YOU NOT BRO

(like searching the difference between pâtisserie and boulangerie, due to a tictok I saw the other day and I’m doing french homework, THEN learning there is another word for bakery, viennoiserie, beginning to read an article about it before remembering I have a deadline for this homework. I also did some research on the areas of the 5 largest counties in my state.)

I also listen to loud music, which I could do with headphones but I sing 1/4 to 1/2 of it, at random intervals.

And I talk a lot and loud I talk about what I’m doing and think and all the little things I don’t understand because talking outloud helps keep me focused.

I'm grieving the fact that I feel my family will never love me fully, unconditionally, due to my disability, and that I will always have to hide aspects of myself from them in a way that pains me so they feel comfortable. Already as I grow older, my mom is reminding me not to speak about my disability around the rest of the family often, as if it is something to be ashamed of, and I feel a sickness in my chest at the idea of hiding large parts of who I am from them to make able-bodied people more comfortable.