#probably should

My hc/depiction of Steve’s have always been these sort of, half dragon people, people who are magical in a sense. Markings that show off which chromatic/biome faction they belong to or which creator designed them. Different wing types, tails, ears, horns, even eyes.

But Saber? Has none of that, his skin is bare of any scales or micro feathers to form markings, he covers his eyes with a piece of clothe, his colors are odd and mixed, he’s almost like a cryptic to them? A being that looks like a Steve, but isn’t one.

So Shadow Saber takes on quite the horrific appearance for most, any who where survivors of the main attacks on their kingdoms would spread stories about this dark being who looked like them but wasn’t a Steve. A boogyman if you will

(And if the Red Steve’s where known to the other kingdoms at this time, they would have seen a similarity to their own kingdoms ‘boogyman’ and ‘a haunted suit of armor’ but that’s a story for a different time)

I don’t know where you are, if you’re okay. I hope you’re doing well and finally forgave yourself. It hasn’t been easy being here, alone, wondering if you will ever come back. Back to me. To us. I keep calling your phone even knowing it goes straight to voicemail. You used to always pick up. Always on the first ring. Pretending that you didn’t know it was me. Like it was the first time we met. But not anymore. Now it’s just a never ending silence. I miss hearing your voice, your scent, your kind eyes, the way you hold me close. I just miss you. The only reason I’m even writing this is because I worry about you a lot. There’s a sick, twisted feeling that something is wrong. That something has happened to you and I didn’t even know it. I hope I’m wrong, I hope you’re still… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, mahal. I shouldn’t have let you go, I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I didn’t mean them, how could I? How could I be so foolish? You were the only person who made me feel safe, alive. We can start over, we can live happily ever after. Please come back. I don’t know if I can keep waiting to hear your footsteps coming towards me again.

Mahal na mahal kita, Gi-hun. I wish I can say everything in person. Only because you deserve the very best of the world.

Your heart,

She mentioned how her pain felt less to none when she was dancing back when she was around my age, talking about it like she thought I could relate

Because the movement was a workout to strengthen the joints and muscles

But I responded with "it just hurts worse afterwards" and she shut up bout it

We dont have the same body, most of my conditions are not what she had back then nor now

When I dance I feel the lower back pain most prominently, then my shoulders, knees and ankles and afterwards I have to spend a day recovering at least while my entire body screams for relief

I get that she was probably trying to be encouraging or finding a way from us to relate to each other. I already relate to her for both being disabled, in pain and having backgrounds in art and dance

But our experiences are not the same no matter how similar they might look

She cant dance anymore. It breaks my heart. She used to teach ballet, she used to teach me when I was little, I watched her teach a whole class when my dad brought me to visit her, she is absolutely a huge reason I fell in love with dance and performance

But unlike her I'm terrified of losing it. Even when it causes me pain I dont want to stop. I dont want to literally become my mother's minnie me or shadow, I dont want to lose my mobility and not be able to dance anymore. That's my worst nightmare.

And the most terrifying thing is that it's becoming a reality. There are days I can't move and not even just from pain. I keep thinking about the day I went to the er and stayed over night just for the doctors to say they had no clue and instead give me medication for bpd all because my body collapsed and wouldnt listen to my attempts to move. My mom had to hold me up and manually make me walk, put a bra on me and do it again to get me to the car and inside the hospital.

I dont mind that I have days where I'm bed bound and should be in a wheelchair if I had the money and access to one, I can dance sitting that's fine until I can get my body up and dancing on my feet even for a little.

But this isnt something she ever had to experience.

Thinking of Purple’s nicknames for Green (and only Green) like "My Muse" and "Darling" (y'knoww like Rarity mlp) OOOHHH AND "Limelight"