How radical feminism saved me from anorexia 
Hi hello, I feel a little backstory is in order. In 2020 during lockdown I developed anorexia. Many things combined all at once and now I was beginning my year 10 study’s from my bedroom. So what did I do with this unending spare time? Decided to have a “lockdown glow up ”
Im going to spare you the old story we hear about eds “I was on a steady diet then it was thrown out of control” that’s not how it went for me. I was extremely intentional, I knew what I was doing and I THOUGHT I knew the consequences. I began feeding my brain proana content on the daily
For those blissfully unaware, pro Ana is a subsection of the internet of mostly girls and woman trying to “trigger” their own ed to get worse, often though written story’s about how different your life is going to be when your skinny and how horrible people see you now that ur “fat”. They also frequently shared “thinspo”, images of emaciated girls for inspiration.
The rabbit hole goes so deep that it’s truely impossible to dive into here, but my favourite author @ofhearbsandalters has a great video series on the topic that Iv linked.
Completely sick right? Encouraging other girls to fall deeper and deeper into the most deadly mental illness you can suffer from. I knew this, we all knew this. But eds act like addictions, it feels good to indulge and it makes you feel just a bit better about yourself when you see results on the scale.
I started focusing on my recovery after I quit drugs. My drug use was definitely intertwined with my ed and both combined had slipped its way into everything good I had left in my life.
I didn’t eat cake on my own birthday, I turned down food and I didn’t care that it hurt people’s feelings, I would chew gum obsessively to “trick” my brain and end up fainting at school or in public.
My ed had ruined my body, I missed my period for several years and knowingly risked my chances of falling pregnant, something iv always so desperately wanted to do. I developed anaemia, which I still have to this day, my arms and legs frequently get painful pins and needles and feel faint every day of my life.
Worst of all I developed arthritis, I am now 20 and I am living with intense joint pain every day. It’s heartbreaking that my pain will only get worse, my chronic pain has made me genuinely suicidal at times in the 1 year iv been diagnosed. And it’s because I deprived my body of needed nutrients from ages 13 to 18.
When I decided to recover, it was because I was tired. I had been disordered for as long as I could remember and it had owned my entire life. I was sick of it holding me back and controlling me.
I put in the hard work and began eating better, it was a headfuck for sure, many tears spilled over simple things like a pack of skittles. But it started working, I started gaining weight and I was no longer classed underweight. I started feeling so much happier in my daily life because my body had the fuel to function properly, I could enjoy things like restaurant dates and Christmas dinners without dreading the guilt.
I began refraining my body image issues through a feminist lens. any body time is beautiful because it’s human, I don’t have to like my body today for me to have value and purpose. Nobody else has to like my body for me to have value and purpose. My worthiness as a human being is not weighed on how attractive others find me. I deserve to nourish my body because I deserve to feel healthy and happy.
I started seeing the nourishment of my body as a radical act in a society that wants to keep me too hungry to fight back. To be my strongest self I need to be fed. To be physically strong I’m not always going to look skinny. My body fat is there to protect my organs and/or prepare my body for the baby I want to have one day (obviously this last one won’t work for everyone #prochoice but that’s a post for another day)
Every time I indulge in a sugary treat, party and drink alcohol until I can’t stand, eat a second serving of my mums cooking, lay around the house all day instead of preparing for a marathon or some shit. I am creating a radical act. Disorders like anorexia nervosa would not exist if it wasn’t for the patriarchy.
So my final message is this
Commit an act of RADICAL FEMINISM today and listen to your body, give it what it wants and keep it healthy, you may just be doing your part in destroying the patriarchy.
