#pmd:eod

warning for rambles and feelings Not being on my medication for the past week has given me a lot of feelings and emotions. Some valid some... “not valid” according to other people. But one thing I thought about a lot were my OCs and art. Where I “started” and up to now. I got reminded of my PMD OC’s, Manny and Stocking. These two really rekindled my love for pokemon as a whole, I mean I always loved pokemon but i didn’t realize how much of a legit comfort pokemon was for me, how just drawing pokemon and making OCs of them just gave me joy. Reminding me of those few moments of childhood that weren’t..... horrid... But once I joined the ask community, I met a lot of people.  Some kind some not. I got picked on a lot by older users when I first joined, making fun of my style... how I told my stories... how I needed to be “more original”. It stuck with me too hard and honestly? I try too much. I try too hard to be original, to try and do what I think others want. I miss that cringe ass kid on deviantart who was just having fun. I miss just NOT caring what others thought. Nothing I do or create is “bad” or “problematic”. So why the hell am I trying so hard? I’m not a professional and never will be. I have too much in life to worry about and honestly I feel like worrying about some people who constantly feel the need to lecture me on what I “have” to do to “get noticed or anywhere” is..... a bit stupid. Man I have so many health issues, physical and mental. Think I should be allowed some stupid OCs on the internet, allowed to half ass art since literally nobody is paying me for perfection. I know these anxious feelings of not having any worth or everyone judging me will never go away. But y’know I think I’m tired of trying to impress people. on another note think I’m going to bring Manny and Stocking back But this time as a askblog, since... that’s what seems to make me happy in life right now. Maybe one day I’ll enjoy the comic format and turn it back into a comic Who knows But for now Think I’m gonna return to my roots and just have mindless OC fun again. Going back to 2015 to those two when I just wanted to have fun and tell a dumb. cliche. cringe story. Think I’ll feel better that way.