#plus-size oc

Walking around she notices how her heart starts racing and she feels a bit nauseous, she ignores the feeling. Assumes it’s the shot contest catching up with her. Then her throat goes dry as she spots him.

His tall figure strolls in, immediately commanding the room.

She recognizes that she feels like this every time he’s near, but she doesn’t want him to have any effect on her. It’s not fair. She’ll never have that kind of effect on him.

Not anymore anyway.

***

“What do you mean you don’t like pancakes?! That’s insane!”

“They’re just not my thing, Princess.” Sweet Pea smirked at her across the table at Pop’s.

“Well, I think this date has ended,” She deadpanned sarcastically and started to stand up making him laugh at her.

“You’re gonna leave me over pancakes? That’s what does it?”

“We’ll just tell people it was a difference of opinion.”

They both tried to keep straight faces, but no such luck.

No, there was Y/N and Sweet Pea, laughing their asses off in the back of Pop’s without a single worry.

Sweet Pea looked out the window to see the sun setting before looking back at his girlfriend with a smile, “You wanna see something?”

The same grin spread across her face, “Sure.”

***

“Can you at least try to look like you want to be here?” Toni pleaded with him.

“No, because I don’t.”

“C’mon man, let’s get you a drink, maybe that’ll change your mind,” Fangs pushed him towards the kitchen.

Not likely.

As he walks through the doorway he catches her eyes just in time to watch her duck away.

His entire body tenses.

He hasn’t seen Y/N since they broke up and he really didn’t expect to see her at a party.

There’s been a lingering feeling with him since then, he can’t put his finger on it, there’s just something about their break up that never felt right to him.

It’s not how it was supposed to go...

He’s not really sure how it was supposed to go, but definitely not the way it did.

***

His arm was draped around her shoulders, pulling her into him as they walked through the park.

“I’ve been to Pickens Park before, Sweets, sorry to be a buzzkill.”

He didn’t say anything, just squeezed her shoulder and pulled her over to the swings.

They sat next to each other facing the forest, the plastic seat digging into her hips.

“Fang’s older sister used to drag us around with her everywhere when we were kids,” he started. “Well- that’s how Fang’s put it, but I’m pretty sure he just tagged along to keep an eye on her. It wasn’t my favorite thing to do, I could only go to the mall so many times before I lost my mind. But she used to bring us here every once in a while and we’d all just sit on the swings for like half an hour before we left. I didn’t really get it because Fangs and I always sat like this and actually used the swings, but she’d just sit at the end and stare off into nothing. I thought she was crazy honestly.”

Y/N chuckled and imagined an annoyed little Sweet Pea trailing after a small and worried Fangs.

“So I decided I’d just ask her- because I was a kid so I thought it was fine to just ask a teenage girl if she was crazy.” He paused, causing her to look at him. He was smiling to himself, enjoying the memory. “And as soon as I got off that swing and walked over to her, I knew she wasn’t crazy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, she was just living in the moment. Enjoying the small bit of peace we get here on the southside.”

He looked behind them, Y/N following his gaze when she stopped.

The most colorful and vibrant sunset she had ever seen sat behind her. Pink and orange danced across the sky, the light blue fading into purples.

She turned around to stare at it.

“Holy shit, Pea- the sky...it’s so beautiful,” Her eyes darted around the sky, trying to capture it all before it faded away.

Sweet Pea, on the other, stared right at her, “Absolutely stunning.”

***

Y/N ducked out of the house as fast as she could once he was in the kitchen.

When they were dating, Y/N was not a party girl.

“Fuck trying to socialize with people, I’d rather stay at the Wrym. Drunk people aren’t fun to be around if you aren’t drunk and don’t know anybody.” She’d say when Sweet Pea invited her to the occasional party.

She supposes that changed after they broke up because now she wanted to be drunk. Drunk, high, asleep- anything to block out the numb feeling that’s been creeping in since they split.

She got to the party late and honestly, she’s not sure how long she’s been there, so she’s not surprised when she steps out into the darkness. She is a little shocked at how cold it is, but now that September has rolled in so have the gusts of wind.

The high waisted jeans cover most of her stomach but the thin material of her shirt and the deep neckline allow a shiver to pass through her body. 

She’s dreading the walk home, but she can’t stay at the party. Not now.

Sometimes, when she’s having a good day, she can think back on their time together and be glad that at least she got that part of him.

But most of the time seeing him and thinking about him just make her sad.

Because she remembers that while she had that part of him, she no longer does.

***

“Did you know Y/N was gonna be here?” Sweet Pea asks his friends, not even looking at them as he searches the room for her again.

“Y/N is here? I haven’t seen her in ages!” Toni looked excited.

“I mean she probably left,” Jughead spoke from where he was leaning against the wall.

“Why would she leave?”

“If none of you have seen her since her and Sweet Pea broke up there’s probably a reason for that,” he shrugs.

“So you’re saying she’s actively avoiding us?” Fangs asked.

“It’s just a theory. I mean it’s obvious why she wouldn’t want to see him. But you guys were and still are Sweet Pea’s friends. She became your friend by circumstance. She probably figures that since you weren’t friends before they dated, why would you be friends with her now that they’ve broken up.”

Neither of them had anything to say. If they had to pick someone in the breakup, they obviously would’ve picked Sweet Pea, the choice was just made for them.

Sweet Pea was listening to their conversation but not really paying attention as he saw a flash of Y/H/C dart out the front door.

“He’s right she just left,” he told them. It only took a second before he was going after her.

***

The pair began dating right as the school year was ending and going into the second month of summer, they were still going strong.

The two were inseparable, practically clinging to each other.

But like with everything else in Rivedale, everyone had an opinion on it.

“I just don’t understand why they’re together.”

“She can do so much better than being a serpent’s slut.”

“He’s hot, why is he with that cow?”

“I get that big girl’s need love too, but did he really need to be the one to give it to her?”

“I guess if those are his standards anyone has a chance.”

And it’s easy to say that none of it affected them or their relationship, but you can only hear that your relationship doesn’t make sense so many times before you start to question it for yourself.

Which is what led them to fight in his trailer.

“I don’t know what you want from me!”

“I want someone who doesn’t look at every girl besides me!”

“You know that isn’t true...”

“Look, Pea...” Y/N paused, “maybe it’s time we accept that this isn’t working...”

“What?! No! Y/N, you can’t-”

“We don’t make sense, Sweet Pea!” She yelled.

He sat there, too stunned to reply let alone reassure her that they did make sense and they could work out whatever needed to be worked out.

She took that as her cue to grab her stuff and leave.

He took to being Josie’s booty call soon after that and it was set in Y/N’s mind.

All of their relationship, all the sweet words, and promises of forever...it was all a lie.

***

Y/N made it to the end of the street before she heard footsteps coming up behind her. She was a bit too lost in her memories to hear them before.

“Y/N...” The voice made her spine go rigid, but she couldn’t freeze.

Just keep walking, pretend you didn’t hear him and maybe he’ll go back to the party...

She tried to tell herself, but it only took that small amount of time for him to catch up with her instead.

“Y/N, c’mon, at least talk to me.”

“Nothing to talk about, Sweet Pea.”

“Are you avoiding Fangs and Toni?”

Well- that wasn’t what she expected. “Kind of hard to avoid people who don’t talk to you.”

“They were at the party. Toni wanted to see you before you ran out-”

“Sweet Pea,” he stopped next to her as she stopped walking, “you know why I left. So why the hell are you following me?”

He paused before looking her over, “You look good. I miss you.”

They let the three words hang in the air before Y/N scoffed and started walking again.

“What? I can’t miss you?” He spoke, following her again.

“Not if you’re gonna lie about it.”

“Who’s lying?!”

“You!” She flipped around and shoved a finger into his chest. “You were always lying!”

“Name one thing I lied about!”

“Loving me!”

They were both quiet.

“I never lied about that...” He whispered.

“Well, you moved on pretty quick for someone supposedly in love.”

“I was trying to get over you!” They were back to yelling at each other as they walked through the southside residential streets.

Soon enough they made it to her house.

“I’m going inside, Sweet Pea.”

“Wait- just let me say one thing and then you can go back avoiding me.” When she didn’t make a move to go inside he decided to keep pushing through, “Talk to Toni and Fangs again,” that made her eyebrow go up, ”they miss you too. I get it- I was a shitty boyfriend. I’m not denying it, the more I think about it there were definitely times I should’ve stepped up and I didn’t. Not that I’m completely to blame- but I’m not trying to start another argument. I love you, Y/N. I wasn’t lying. Just don’t punish them for something they didn’t do.”

He turned to walk away when she called out to him.

“You said love...”

“What?”

“You said ‘I love you’, present tense, not ‘I loved you’, past tense.”

“Trying to move on doesn’t always work.” He gave a soft smile.

“So you’re not madly in love with Josie?”

He shrugged, “She was using me for a good lay, I was trying to find someone who could make me feel anything like I do with you.”

“And?”

“Nothing could ever compare to you.”

Even if you struggle with your own perception of self-love in a larger body, the beauty of writing is that you get to choose what parts of your own struggle and triumphs to include (if any). However big or small they might be, it’s going to translate and be relatable. Your experiences give you unique insight on how you could handle the multi-faceted experience of navigating life while existing in a body that the majority tells you is not okay, beautiful or capable.

But what about learning self-love? Should that take priority over or happen removed from romance?

II think a lot of expectations are placed on right and wrong ways to find love for yourself. But the reality is that journey is going to look different for everyone because no two people are alike. No two relationships are exactly alike. The reality of life is that things happen to you when you least expect them to, and sometimes love sneaks up on you in the middle of a journey to self-love or a spiral of self-loathing. For me personally, it’s a privilege to create content with a fat OC and I want to do it with a person-first approach. Fat people are hot, capable, heroes, villains, etc, but first they’re a person, and far too often the personhood of someone is a larger body is exactly what gets lost in the shuffle and they’re used a prop. People are messy and complicated and making my OC follow a strict rule as to how and why she’s going to love herself kind of robs her from humanity, and that is the opposite of my goal.