#pluralposting

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just need to get hurt and tortured endlessly and it'll balance the world into true goodness. its law of the universe

"Well, that was back when I was human"

"That was back when I was a boy, but he's gone now."

knowing someone's front triggers and abusing the FUCK out of them. bonus points if theyre an introject or fictive or whatever term is the right one and you have like their source media playing in the background. bonus bonus points if you know who holds onto specific pieces of trauma and you take advantage of it. frozen in the headlights, pinned like a butterfly on the wall, exposed to your partner AND to your headmates and made an example of.

I still dont know if it counts as plural its making me nervous cuz idek that much abt being plural but apparently having multiple ppl in your head in most cases does count amd nobodys telling me im NOT . so. There

I would go to my headspace sometimes cuz its really nice and pretty but theres a fucking pervert in there and i want to mutilate him bc he insists on talking to me and GETTING IN MY SPACE and it pisses me off and he sits in my favorite chair too. Hes like a comical anime character trope of like. Coolguy mcgee that is big love interest that is also fucking weird n doesnt know what consent is and acts like everything is some stupid fanfic i haaate him so much. If i ever draw THE group of me n the remilings in my head hes always excluded bc i hate him. Im pretty sure he's the imaginary friend who dated me a few years ago actually i have so. Much fucking beef w him. Imaginary ex. MY IMAGINARY EX LMFAO

Also im starting to be chill abt checkmark, ughh i just get so upset knowing im not in control or that i might act strange or be percieved weird if i ever embrace being. Plural. I guess. And i hate acting like someone else. Or like. Knowing myself isnt actually. I dont know its weird. N i dont want others to see me as someone who's just doing the plural thing for fun its. Its not i dont WANT. to be plural i dont WANNA BE LIKE THIS!!! I want everything to be normal and everyone to act like remi is talking bc thats me !! Im remi!!! And i would find it weird to know my friends saw me go "oh im not remi haha im evil remi oooo scarryy you have 2 treat me like an entirely different person and pretend im eevill" LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. im nervous everyone thinks im playing a game i guess. Or like i have more control over it than i let on whennughhh. I think i just worry abt how im percieved too much.

Thinking back to all the signs i had other ppl in my head is interesting bc the way i saw it back when i was 11 was that i was someone's furry oc brought 2 the real world and THATS why i had voices in my head and i saw things and i felt rlly bad cuz if i expressed any of it I'd be called edgy and like i got it all from my stupid animation memes !!! Which lo and behold i was called edgy when i did try n open up to the closest ppl to me at the time and UGHHH. Boy was it tough. Actually i think I'd like to pinpoint where each of my voices come from.

Sour Patch - i called her jovial at first but Source/sourpatch seems more fitting. Or sour p. Im calling him sour p bc its cute. #nicknames . Anyway sour p is the ORIGINAL remi. Remi's identity outside of all the influence of most others and the fear of not being accepted. I think they'd go by he/she/they if they're still around? Tomboy thing. I miss them. The guy i was talking abt that wouldve kinned gumball and pda. Im ultimately glad theyre not . Around anymore i guess? Because they were very prone to hurting people and being troublesome and not having a good sense of sympathy/empathy for others when things didnt relate to her. But he liked socializing and was unapologetically peculiar and didnt let things get to him. I miss that. He was very main character-core i think thats where my idea that im mc comes from. Because YES i would be such a main character if i wasnt BEAT UP AS A LITTLE KID!!!! I kinda hope she comes back, itd be awesome to have her front and talk to people for me , or generally be able to deal w how overwhelming the world is better than i do. She always had sm energy!!

☑️/checkmark - he was always sorta a feeling more than a person. A sudden shift in personality and percieving things but it never occured to us that we might be actually different seeing as how much we always sorta have disagreements. They showed up around when . Ok yes when remi used to be SP (sourpatch) checkmark would come in after sp had a big day n be TIRED. like everything sourpatch had done n everyone he talked to took energy out of checkmark. And check would wonder why he didnt enjoy any of that. Even though sourpatch did. Its weird. It was usually very tired and liked to be alone bc talking to people sapped the energy right out of it and it never even liked people. It still doesnt, it prefers to be alone and comes about the same way as it used to.

Anom - back when remi was like. 10-12 it always drew its sona w an angel and a devil on its shoulder and anom was pretty much the devil. Always mad. Always upset abt how it was being treated and upset abt the WHOLE world. And as the years went on n i kept trying to bury it further it probably just drove it more crazy tbh. And the stupid part is that it was RIGHT to be upset and think everyone was using me its bc they WERE!!! but now its kinda just in its own little corner losing its mind n clawing at thr walls i CANNOT . Afford to let that thing front.

Ducky - she's nice :) was always portrayed as the angel bc shes ALWAYS talking sense into me and keeping me from doing anything horrible and impulsive. Always keeping me somewhat grounded in reality n making sure i dont snap at people or harm myself if im having an episode , THEY DESERVE SM CREDIT ilhsm <3 shes the closest to being an entire different person, shes so excited abt having opinions, she is rlly into tomodachis or life sims or ANY sims,, she loves chao-gardens n building pretty houses in terraria and minecraft n her fav character in bfdi is pencil and idk shes just such an important creature in my life i literally would not be alive if it werent for her. She's prevented wayyy too many attempts. She doesnt front i think,, at least not yet but shes certainly there n shes perfectly fine and takes the wheel whenever i feel threatened by someone to lash out usually.

Pakeu - hes an oc i was pretty much given and projected this sorta child-like version of myself onto that i couldnt irl. Pretty much a part of my head thats still 11 . Unchanging and just sits in the corner quietly, confused bt everythint.