Summary: Xaden introduces his little sister to Sgaeyl.
Requested by anon as part of my Raspberry Riorson series, but can be read as a standalone. Set when Berry is 16/during Xaden's second year of being a rider.
âWanna meet Sgaeyl?â
Xadenâs sister stares at him, wide-eyed. âCan I really? Sheâ she wonât mind?â
âOf course she wonât mind.â He never would have suggested it if Sgaeyl hadnât agreed beforehand. âSheâs curious about you, too.â
âIf sheâs in your head all the time, doesnât she already know everything about me?â
âWell, some things, sure. But not everything. She can hear what Iâm thinking so long as neither of us is shielding, but itâs not like she goes rifling through my mind.â
âAs if there is any need to, when you are constantly bragging about the little one, or bemoaning how much you miss her,â Sgaeyl scoffs.
Xaden refrains from answering. Itâs true he often mentions his sister to Sgaeyl â who else is he supposed to talk to about her, when Basgiath is filled to the brim with people who would wish her harm if they ever learned of her existence? Garrick and Bodhi are the only ones he can fully trust in this regard, and the three of them rarely talk about her for fear of eavesdroppers. Itâs only with his dragon that he doesnât need to worry about that.
âBasically, she knows what Iâve shared with her,â he continues, âwhich admittedly is quite a bit, but even so thatâs not the same as actually meeting you. You donât have to, obviously, I just thought you might likeââ
âOf course I want to!â
Xaden grins, inwardly shaking his head. Apparently, the idea of meeting a dragon is much less intimidating to his sister than that of a new human acquaintance. Typical. While he doesnât quite understand the logic of it, if indeed there is any, he is glad to see her embrace his suggestion with such enthusiasm.
âOkay. Ready to go, then?â
She looks down at herself â or rather, at the pajamas sheâs still wearing, since Xaden and Garrick had appeared in her room to wake her with breakfast in bed a mere half hour ago. âI guess I should get changed first.â
Fifteen minutes later, Sgaeyl is waiting for them in a mountain meadow not too far from the fortress, having flown down upon Xadenâs request to spare his sister the hike all the way up to the valley where Aretiaâs dragons reside. She sits on her haunches with her tail curved around herself, wings spread wide like sheâs enjoying the early morning sun, or like sheâs showing off her impressive wingspan.
His arm slung protectively around his sisterâs shoulders as they walk closer, Xaden leans in to murmur, âRemember: no eye contact, and no talking to her directly unless I say so.â
âI know.â
Xaden knows she knows. Most likely, she understands the dragonsâ preference not to directly interact with any humans beside their chosen rider better than most people do â she, too, hates interacting with anyone outside her family. The only difference is that she has yet to bite anyoneâs head off for having the audacity to approach her. Maybe if she had sharper teeth and the ability to breathe fire, social interactions wouldnât be so damn frightening for her.
This once, Xaden has the impression sheâs less anxious about the encounter ahead than he is, which is a first.
He just loathes the possibility that she might end up being scared of Sgaeyl. Respectfull fondness would be preferable, mild intimidation acceptable, but fear? No. He never wants to see her wear the terrified expression the new first-years do on Conscription Day, when the wingleadersâ dragons descent upon the courtyard in a show of their might.
This wonât be like that, he reminds himself. It will only be Sgaeyl, and she assured him she would be her kindest self â whatever that means by her standards. His sister will know Sgaeyl wonât mean her any harm, and heâll be right by her side. Itâll be fine.
The nearer they draw to her, the wider his sisterâs eyes get. No wonder, since sheâs only seen Sgaeyl and Chradh from her window before. Flying overhead, the dragons are so far away as to barely seem real; up close, Sgaeyl is more than a little imposing, even as she tucks in her wings and curves her neck into the shape of a question mark to gaze down on them in an uncharacteristically benign way. Her jaw is firmly closed, hiding the maw that could swallow Raspberry as easily as if she really were one of the fruits Bodhi named her for.
âSheâs even bigger than I thought,â she whispers, staring at the placid dragon in what Xaden decides to optimistically interpret as awe.
âMhh, blues tend to be on the larger side. Some dragons are even bigger, though, like her mate Tairn⊠or Codagh.â
Xaden immediately regrets mentioning Melgrenâs dragon. While his sister wasnât present at the execution, she knows enough to recognize the name of their fatherâs killer. He doesnât want the thought of him to overshadow what is supposed to be a special â a happy â moment.
âSee her tail?â he asks by way of distraction.
She nods. âDagger. Thatâs the rarest for blues, right?â
âRight.â He squeezes her shoulder, pleasantly surprised she remembers the information he mentioned in passing the previous time he visited home. Smiling, he adds, âSgaeyl is many things, but ordinary definitely isnât one of them.â
Theyâre close enough now that Xaden pulls her to a halt, the dragonâs looming shadow just barely touching their feet. Better to be safe than sorry. Although he knows in his heart that Sgaeyl would never harm his sister, that doesnât make it a good idea to provoke her by throwing basic safety-measures out the window. She might stay outwardly calm even if he were to bring the girl too close, but that doesnât mean there wouldnât be consequences for Xaden later.
The sharp comment he was half-expecting for the thought doesnât come. His shields have been getting better, finally enough so to reliantly keep Sgaeyl out of his head unless she really tries to barge into it. He lowers them now.
âBerry-bug, this is Sgaeyl. Sgaeyl, meet my little sister.â
She gives Sgaeyl a small wave, visibly uncertain whether the gesture is appropriate. Xaden has never been prouder of her.
âMhm... she has courage,â Sgaeyl observes. Sheâs regarding her much the same way one would an adventurous toddler, her mental voice tinged with amused approval.
Xaden doesnât bother hiding his relief. âYeah. She does.â
âAnd what do you except us to do now?â Her wry tone suggests that if she had eyebrows to raise at him, she would do so now.
âWell⊠I donât know,â he admits. âI just wanted you to meet each other.â
His sister is looking at him too, waiting for his guidance. Xaden gives her a reassuring smile. Despite his lack of a plan, this is going very well.
Thereâs no need to make this into a big deal, he decides. He has introduced them, and now, the three of them can hang out a little, without pressuring either dragon or girl to be more social than she likes to.
He spreads his flight jacket over the dew-damp grass to sit in Sgaeylâs shadow, his sister upon his lap so he can rest his chin on her shoulder and murmur about the thrill of soaring through the sky. Thereâs no doubt in his mind she would enjoy it as much as he does. Although there is nothing he would like more, he knows better than to ask Sgaeyl if they could take her for a short flight. After the huge favor sheâs doing him by acting as non-threatening as heâs ever seen her, that would be pushing his luck too far.
Not that he really minds. Sitting there with both his girls, Xaden feels more at peace than heâs been in years.
He and Garrick will have to return to Basgiath as soon as the latter returns from the errand Xaden sent him on, so they have ten more minutes, Xaden judges â maybe twenty, if Garrick is slow. He intents to cherish every second.
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gn reader, reader wakes up in a very small space + tied up so claustrophobia warning (but like, not for long if that matters), implied kidnapping, no otters were hurt in the making of this, reader is hurt tho, amnesia, slight blood warning, head injury, also probably inaccurate depiction of it, meant as platonic, reader gains a whole village of new sisters and a tall guardian, dear reader gets a little species change as a treat (you get horns & a tail), reader is taller than a Melusine but height isn't specified further, sorry there's some body horror elements now (kinda lol), get peeled idiot (affectionate), implied isekai but it's not focused on
Characters: Neuvillette, a bunch of Melusines whose names i forgot oop
Notes: Neuvi & the Melusines both tied for first place on being trustworthy, they adopt you (yeah hi this was why the poll was relevant)
---
Something was off.
First off, you woke up to shouting, metal clanging and gunshots in complete darkness while folded up uncomfortably in a tiny space. Your head hurt something fierce. There was also something warm and fluffy pressed against you, a cat maybe? Poor thing was shaking. In an attempt to calm you both, you gently pet the unseen creature, which turned out to be harder than expected as you realized you must have been tied up in some form due to your restricted movements. You managed somehow but it probably wasn't as comforting as you had hoped.
After the noise died down a little, someone pried open the box you had been in the whole time. You looked down at your fluffy companion, vision swimming for a moment before stabilizing.
"Huh, not a cat."
The little otter chirped at you. If you didn't already know that they always looked like this, you'd have thought the little guy looked worried. (How did you know this?)
Someone peeked inside the box and gasped. Your gaze went up to meet wide eyes on a too young face. And were those..horns? Ears? Feelers? Your brain supplied the term Melusine. The world was spinning. Cotton stuffed in your skull.
"..uh..hi?"
"Oh no, what happened to your head?!"
Soon, all of the treasure hoarders were led away, the otters they had illegally captured got released back into their natural habitat and you got freed and your wounds treated. The Melusine that had found you earlier was kind enough to treat your wounds and wrap your head. Apparently you had given her quite a fright with the half dried blood on your head, oops. Not like you remembered it being there. Turned out you didn't just have one but two nasty bumps on your head. That certainly explained the symptoms though. Ouch.
You fell into horrified silence after she had asked you for your name and you realized you couldn't actually find the answer to that rattling around in your brain anywhere.
She was kind enough to let you stay with her and her sisters at the village. They had crowded around you when you had first arrived and one of them put a sticker on your bandages for good measure, insisting it'd help with the healing process before they reluctantly dispersed to let you rest.
She had insisted you rest while she went to send a letter. She seemed to be in quite a hurry too.
Strange dreams haunted you. Bits and pieces of glimpsing into other worlds through an item made of a piece of glass and something else, held conveniently in your hand. It's name eluded you still when you woke up.
A human (?) girl with some melusine features visited at some point to treat you. She also left some instructions for the others on how to care for you. Almost like you were their new pet project. Maybe you were, they were all very curious about you, after all. Maybe a bit too much, now that you thought about it..
Memories reappeared without rhyme or reason. Were those even yours? They seemed so absurd from what you've seen in the village with the Melusines so far.. could they be dreams too instead of geniune memories? Either way, you took notes, lest you forgot again. You could sort reality and fiction later.
One day, everyone seemed really excited. You had heard some of them talking excitedly about a very special visitor. Apparently everyone in the village adored him. Huh, must have been someone really nice then.
..you didn't know what you expected but this was not on your bingo list. You awkwardly sat at the too small table as he asked all kinds of questions you had no answers to. Was he worried about the Melusines taking in a random stranger? Before you could dig yourself your own grave under his watchful gaze, you were saved by the sweet sea angels explaining things to him that you could not. You took his softening expression and less tense stance as a good sign.
As a peace offering, you held out the notebook you had been using to record whatever scraps of memories or dreams did resurface along with new discoveries you had made here as if you were a child just starting to learn how things work. Sometimes you had added small sketches of items or creatures, both known and unknown. You couldn't put a name to everything. The melusines liked guessing those ones sometimes.
He took the notebook gingerly and read through it with the seriousness of someone used to drowning in paperwork. He finished it concerningly quickly, his brows knitting together as he gently set the book onto the table.
"..this is all you remember?"
You nodded and looked away, unable to hide your expression twisting with the upset you felt at the gaping hole in your memories.
"..i'm sorry."
A little hand stuck a sticker to your cheek. You thanked her shakily (more like you blubbered a weak thanks) and devolved into tears soon after. Good thing the Melusines liked to use waterproof stickers.
Neuvillette awkwardly offered you a tissue.
He had wanted to not only keep an eye on you, but he also explained that maybe interacting with some other people than usual might help in regaining some of what had been lost. You had been reluctant to leave the village with him being basically a stranger to you but no matter which Melusine you asked, they all only had good things to say about him. It was certainly reassuring that they found him to be such a trustworthy person.
He took you back with him to a big city, that was quite different from the cozy little merusea village you had been getting used to. The city of fontaine was much bigger and crowded. It made your head spin.
Everything was so big here, it made you feel small and insignificant. Just a speck of dust in a huge bookshelf.
Another medical checkup. The bandages had been set aside now but the weirdly mirrored bumps on your head had persisted, stubbornly so. They just wouldn't go down, quite the contrary even, they seemed to be growing recently. Neuvillette kept you closer than usual. Your spine tingled. ..what was happening?
Soup again. You started to wonder if Neuvillette even knew how to cook anything that wasn't soup.
Your attempts at cooking something else weren't recieved quite as you expected..what did he mean 'too dry' ? You had made sure to add extra sauce to the pasta too.. But considering how he muttered that under his breath, he probably didn't mean for you to hear.. maybe you should try cooking soup for him next time.
You mostly stayed in his way too big home when he was busy. Luckily, you didn't get lonely, since your self proclaimed sisters liked to come visit you there whenever they could. Neuvillette once told you that Melusines got special eyes, seeing things a bit differently from most other people. You wondered what you looked like to them, especially after one of them had called you an egg. Was that a good thing to be?
Your skin started getting dry and itchy at some point. The weird bumps on your head felt oddly hard to the touch lately and something about sitting down had been feeling off too recently.
You had been having a nice relaxing bath, Neuvillette had suggested it to help with your odd ailments. He had even taken some time off to help you through it. Which was sweet, a bit weird maybe but sweet.
The way your skin started peeling off in the warm bath had you panic and probably scream too but you were too horrified to notice the ruckus you were making. Why were you peeling?? Were you gonna die?
A knock at the door. A concerned inquiry from him.
You must have said something in your panic because your literal skin was falling off and he stepped in, approaching you with soothing words and a stance one might take when approaching a scared animal.
None of it really registered until he gently grabbed your wrist and made you look.
..huh, there was actually a healthy layer of skin underneath the old layer peeling off.
Apparently you were just shedding like some kind of reptile. He offered soft reassurances, that it was normal for an emerging dragon. He even offered to help you with your shed if you needed it. He'd be just a call away.
That had been a lot to unpack. Apparently, the Melusines had seen the signs first. Neuvillette had noticed them over the time spent with you. And you? Clueless the whole time. Apparently everyone involved had just assumed you'd still know your species, even after losing your memory. Which would have been fine, if you didn't explicitly remembered only ever having been human in all of your recovered memories. But you didn't even think that it'd be a relevant thing to write down, so this was..something.
After the shed was finally off, you felt relief. No more itching skin. You felt lighter, like you could breathe better now. Your horns had gotten slightly bigger, yes, those bumps were horns growing in and now you even sported a small tail, stubby as it may be at the moment. No wonder sitting had been feeling off with that squished in underneath your old skin. You hadn't even noticed for crying out loud, other than something feeling weird.
Afterwards, you had a much needed talk with Neuvillette. The horns and tail would keep growing until they'd reach a certain size. Even Neuvillette couldn't tell you when that'd be done or how long that'd take though. Apparently that was a very individual thing for dragons.
Luckily, altering your clothes to accomodate your new tail was easily done and you got your clothes back from the seamstress surprisingly quickly. It was so much nicer to wear something that didn't restrict your tail. And to the amusement of everyone else, your tail would start wagging whenever you were happy about something.
Your sisters congratulated you to your first shed the next time you saw them. Apparently that was some kind of milestone for dragonkin, that was to be celebrated together with family over tea and cake.
You looked around you, your cheerful sisters and the tall guardian dressed in blue. These people already felt more like home than any of your fragmentary memories ever did. You were finally home.
Bonus:
One of your sisters had recorded precious moments with her camera.
She even managed to capture the way your face lit up and the movement of your tail wagging like an excited puppy.
There was also some footage of you playing games together and a lot of fun pictures with everyone, including ones where everyone was doing silly faces and a bunch of when your sisters roped you and Neuvi into playing dressup. Of course there were also group photos with everyone smiling for the camera.
Neuvillette hid his smile behind his hand and a fake cough before requesting copies for himself after reviewing them. He put them in the family album among the many pictures he already had.
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Hell's Second Greatest Dad | Vox + Reader + Alastor
Familial! Alastor is reader's dad, Vox is the dad that stepped up
Description: With your dad, the Radio Demon, having been missing for seven years, you've come to see Vox as father figure instead. But when Alastor shows back up one day, he's furious to find his old friend trying to take his child away from him.
(Notes: CW Alastor, angst) (gender neutral reader) (Reader is Alastor's kid from life) (Could be biological or adopted) (Teen Reader)
â This one will have a song! It's a rewrite of Hell's Greatest Dad, but with Alastor in Lucifer's place and Vox in Alastor's place (Alastor gets a taste of his own medicine) â
Words: 4,049
"Tomorrow's forecast calling for acid rain with tornadoes picking up around noon in the Doomsday Distract," The familiar voice of hell's iconic tech demon explained, "And now for our Reader's Segment!" He smiled, placing the papers he'd been reading off of on the table in front of him and looking back up at the camera.Â
Once he announced your name, the TV screen promptly changed to show you curled up on a plush couch with a fuzzy blanket and a book on your lap. "Take it away, kid." Vox's voice said through the earpiece you always wore while on-air in case he needed to communicate with you.Â
"Thanks, sir." You smiled at the camera before turning your gaze down to the book in your lap, "Tonight we'll be reading something a little slower paced. It's fun, cozy, and perfect for a night like this, so let's begin." With that, you announced the title of your current favorite book and then flipped it open, reading aloud.Â
The set around you was decorated to resemble a cozy living room; with a crackling fireplace behind your couch, a fake window to your left that was supposed to make it seem as if it overlooked a snowy field, and the softest carpet you'd ever walked on. The log walls were decorated with photos of cute animals since you had no family photos to adorn them, and both the couch, blanket, and carpet were soothing shades of light pink and purple that greatly contrasted the harsh the blues and red of your boss while still remaining within the same domain.Â
You read in your most soothing tone, which many viewers liked to claim had the ability to lull them to sleep almost instantly, even if you had no such power that you knew of. Though, you supposed anything calming and cozy like this would have been a great relief in a place like hell, which had been your goal from the beginning.Â
Vox was hesitant about your segment when you first pitched it, considering it was so different from the rest of the shows he ran, but eventually he gave it a chance, and it had only ever paid off since. As far as sinners went, you were adorable, and it wasn't just because you were young compared to most of the adults in hell. That, coupled with the cozy vibe of your set and the books you read, was enough to keep viewers coming back, meaning there were more people to see Vox's commercials and, therefore, become his customers.Â
Not to mention the fact that it made him look good in the public eye. A teenage sinner who liked to read their little books for the public, and whose soul he didn't even bother to own? He looked more kindhearted than half of hell's overlords combined, no matter his intentions.Â
The only person that didn't approve of your reading segment currently stood on a sidewalk somewhere in Pentagram City, watching through the window of a shop. Despite his apparent smile, his eyes were narrowed in disapproval at the screen.
To those who didn't know him, he would have simply looked like a regular sinner; interested in listening to you read the story you seemed to excited about. Had they been paying attention, they might have noticed the way his hands tightened around the microphone he held or how his red deer-like ears tugged back slightly.Â
And as for those that did have the sense to recognize him, they wouldn't have even had the time to notice those details, because they would have already turned and walked the other way upon seeing the Radio Demon back after his seven year absence.Â
About an hour later, you finished your segment, feeling a little sleepy yourself from the calming sounds of the fire and a good book. Even your cameraman seemed to barely be able to keep his eyes open at this point.
"I think we'll stop there for tonight," you said with a yawn, gently placing your Vox Tech bookmark between the pages and closing your book, "Tune in tomorrow, where we'll continue the story from where we left off." You were talking even more quietly than you had at the beginning, not wanting to disturb any of the viewers at home that may have fallen asleep. Though, it was a futile effort, considering a blaring commercial would likely run the second you were off-air again. "This has been the Reader's Segment; thank you and goodnight!"Â
With that, your cameraman signaled that you were now off-air and you yawned again, wrapping the fuzzy purple blanket around yourself despite the warmth of the nearby ambient fire.Â
A moment later, the door to your recording set opened and in stepped Vox himself with a familiar frown on his face. He looked around, though, and the second his eyes landed on you, the expression was replaced by a picturesque smile. "There they are!" He exclaimed happily, walking over to you as you blinked sleepily at him.Â
"Hi." You smiled through your hazy tiredness, making the tech demon soften just a bit.Â
"Well done, kid." He said, ruffling your hair, "As always." Vox gently placed a hand on your back, leading you towards the studio door and leaving the rest of his workers to clean the set up behind you. "I have to say, I never expected a 'cute' segment like yours to do so well," he went on, ever the businessman, as you half-listened. "Turns out comfort was exactly what pathetic sinners wanted all along!" He glanced your way, his smile becoming more genuine now, before adding, "I'm proud of you, kid." That got your full attention now.Â
You'd only heard the words a few times in your whole life, despite the huge positive effect they always had on you. Even the man that had raised you; the one that should have been the most proud in the end, had never actually told you so. Vox may not have been related to you by blood, or even legally, but hearing that phrase from him still made you grin.
"Thanks." You replied, unsure of how to convey how much his pride meant to you. Luckily, it seemed you didn't need to, because he just nodded and then brought you over to the nearby elevator.Â
"It's the truth, kid," he replied, pressing the button that would take you up to his designated floor. Each of the V's had one, with Vox's being the highest, that was technically supposed to be solely their living space. However, after you began working for him, Vox ended up converting one of the rooms on his floor to make it yours. Now, your bedroom was the first door on the right after entering Vox's floor.Â
"Though, it looked to me like that bookshelf of yours is starting to get a little empty..." He was referring to the shelf found on your set. It housed each of the books you planned on reading next in no particular order. This way, when you finished one for the show, you could immediately pick a new pre-approved one from the back shelf. The one you were done with would then be moved up to your room for you to keep, which was beginning to look more like a library with how many titles there were inside.Â
"Did it?" You asked, feeling a little embarrassed, "I can grab a few more to add to it tomorrow." Vox shook his head, though, as the elevator finally reached your shared floor.Â
"No need," he replied, "How about we buy some more tomorrow; call it a shopping day?" With how many unread books you already had making a mess in your room, there was really no need to buy any more. But after the first year of having you around, he realized making you happy tended to lift some of the stress and burden he felt off his shoulders, so he did so whenever possible.Â
"Really?!" You asked, stars practically shining in your eyes as you stepped out of the elevator. Vox nodded, a warm smile on his face.Â
"Of course; can't have my best segment lacking stories, now can I?" You grinned, hugging him without even thinking. At some point during your time working for him, it had become a natural gesture.
Vox rested a hand on your head with a grin, patting your hair. He'd never expected to get so attached to a kid, much less you, of all people, and yet here he was, enjoying the hug as if he were your close family member.Â
Once the excitement of the news seemed to die down for you, that fuzzy, tired feeling from before came back. "Thanks, dad..." You mumbled into the tech demon's coat. His eyes widened for just a moment before a smile reappeared on his face. You probably hadn't even realized what you'd just said, and yet, it felt so right for him to hear it.Â
"No problem, kid." He replied. Finally, he pulled away, patting your shoulder. "Now, you'd better get to bed if you're going to have enough energy for book shopping tomorrow." You grinned again, wrapping your soft blanket a little tighter around your body.Â
"Right." You said, gently rubbing your now-very-tired eyes. "Goodnight!" You called as you turned and opened the door to your bedroom.Â
"Goodnight." Vox replied softly before you closed the door behind you and disappeared. He could hear a muffled 'flop' sound somewhere inside, realizing you'd likely collapsed onto your bed immediately after entering.Â
He chuckled softly before turning to head to his own room. Vox tended to stay up much later than you most nights; handling various paperwork and business. Today was no exception, but as he made his way to his office, which was attached to the bedroom, he spared a glance at the framed photo that sat propped on his bedside table. In it, you were depicted, holding up the camera to take a selfie. Vox was there too, an arm around your shoulders as he posed for the camera. Both of you looked so happy; smiling brightly as if you had not a care in the world.
It was his favorite photo; thus why it always remained on his nightstand. He turned away now, heading for his office with a renewed determination to get things done. After falling out with his closest friend seven years ago, the tech demon had assumed nothing else would ever be able to bring him joy again.
And he had been right, until you came along.Â
..........
You were up bright and early the next day; too early for Vox's standards. He'd barely gotten any sleep, as per usual, but had smelled the breakfast you were making in the kitchen once he came out of his extra office.Â
As soon as he entered, you'd smiled and sat him down at the table, handing him a plate of your personal favorite breakfast food. Of course that had been what you chose to wake up and make this early in the morning.
Regardless, the tech demon humored you, knowing you were just excited to get to go book shopping later that day.Â
Once you'd both eaten, you hurriedly shoved him into his room, insisting he get dressed and ready for the day while you did the same. Apparently, you wanted to be at the bookstore the second it opened, but who was Vox to deny you, when it seemed to make you so happy?
Once you both were ready, the two of you took the elevator down to the V Tower lobby, with Vox ignoring several calls from his assistant along the way. He could wait until later, the tech demon decided. Instead, he listened to you go on and on about the books you planned to get and how excited you were. It seemed you had a fully prepared list, and Vox was ready to get every single one on it if it brought you joy. Finally, you reached the ground floor and the elevator dinged as the doors opened.
And almost immediately, you were met with the sounds of shouting and windows breaking. Clearly, there was already a commotion, even though it was even ten in the morning yet. Sighing, Vox stepped out first, followed promptly by you, who would never miss out on a scoop if you could help it; especially if it was happening in your own 'basement.'
What you saw was even more surprising than expected. The employees that usually worked on this floor were running around like chickens with their heads cut off; many of them screaming in fear. The secretary that usually worked the front desk was dangling in the air; held by an eerie black tentacle that you recognized all too well. Following it with your gaze, you could see that it was attached to none other than a red deer-like demon, whose body had morphed so that he was almost too tall to fit in the room.
A green 'X' mark sat on his forehead, further confirming that he was currently in his demonic form as he held the secretary up to his eye level.
"Where are they?!" He demanded, his radio static voice somehow even more haunting than usual.Â
"I'm not authorized to tell you that!" The secretary screeched, covering his eyes as the tentacle's grip tightened around him and began bringing him towards the demon's open mouth.
Vox's assistant stood off to the side, frantically typing something on his phone amidst the panic. So, that was why he'd been calling so much this morning.
With a sigh, the tech demon activated his mind control powers, taking a step forward into the chaos. "Stop!" He shouted, his voice distorted. Suddenly, everything came to a stop, except the giant demon still holding his secretary, who slowly turned his head in your direction.
Still smiling, his eyes narrowed for a moment before he suddenly noticed you standing there, instantly reverting back to his normal form as if nothing had happened. The black tentacles that had been holding the secretary disappeared, causing them to fall to the floor with a thud. Meanwhile, the Radio Demon adjusted his coat jacket and stepped forward.
"Finally," he called, holding his microphone-cane behind him, "The man in charge, so to speak." Both you and Vox tensed, and you looked to the tech demon, unsure what to do.Â
When neither of you said anything, Alastor spoke again. "And it seems you've found my little one!" He exclaimed with an even wider smile, "Good, then I'll have no need to search this entire building for them." Vox's eyes narrowed at the idea, and he was about to take a step to the side, so as to block you, when you finally spoke.
"Papa...?" Your voice was quiet; hurt. The tech demon hated it but you took a step forward, nonetheless. This was, as much as he hated to admit it, technically your father; the man you hadn't seen or even heard from once in the last seven years. That would have shocked anyone.Â
"There you are, my dear!" Alastor said, opening his arms to you as if expecting a hug. "Come along, now. We have quite a bit to catch up on!" You didn't move.Â
Vox took a step forward, sensing your uncertainty. "You've been missing for seven years," he replied, "They don't have to go with you." Alastor's eyes narrowed.Â
"They're my child," he said, "So I'd suggest you get out of the way before things get ugly, old pal." You bit your lip. As much as you'd longed to see your father again all this time, now that you were faced with that reality, you weren't so sure. You'd only just come to accept the fact that he would never be returning for you, and now here he was, acting as if nothing had even happened.Â
You used to be close with him, but now it felt like he wasn't even the same person anymore. Vox, of all people, had had to take you in after your dad left without warning, and since then, he'd become the only father figure you had in your life.Â
Alastor glanced between the two of you with what would have been a scowl, if not for the permanent smile on his face. Everyone else had all but cleared the room now; leaving only the three of you there in your standoff.Â
You were frozen; unsure what to do, and you knew Alastor could see it. It was like having to choose between your two parents in a divorce, except in this situation, it was the once-loving-father that had abandoned you and the man that had stepped up ever since.Â
Unfortunately, Alastor didn't seem to read the situation the same way you did, because with his flare for the dramatics, he went on.
"Darling," he sighed before bringing out his mic and beginning a song. Now you knew there was no going back. "Looks like you could use some help," he began, "from hell's Radio Demon himself!"Â
Alastor swung his cane, summoning two familiar sinners to the room to back him up now. "Never trust the one who's acting so heartfelt!" He pointed in Vox's direction, and Nifty immediately scurried over, jumping on Vox's shoulder.Â
"Traitor!"Â She exclaimed adamantly before the tech demon ripped her off of him. Husk, however, was less enthusiastic.Â
"Heartless,"Â he said, ignoring how Vox glared and began to stalk towards him, only for Nifty to jump and latch onto his back now.Â
"A total snake!"Â She exclaimed and he tried to shake her off again. Meanwhile, the two of them provided enough distraction now for Alastor to gently grab you by the arm and pull you away.Â
"Oh, with enough motivation, dear," he went on, "He'll betray you, standing right here!"  Before he could get you out of the lobby door, though, Vox had pressed a button to activate the security measures, locking it from the outside. "Usually, you'd learn it on your own, I fear," he went on, "But for you I'd do anything!"
Nifty ran over to the two of you wearing one of your hats she'd gotten off a nearby coat rack now, hugging one of Alastor's legs as if she were pretending to be you. Or at least, a happier version of you. "Thanks, dad!"Â
Alastor turned, pointing to Vox, "Who needs a knock-off now that I have returned?" Nifty nodded eagerly, jumping to rest on your father's head.Â
"Whoa!"Â She sang, having way too much fun with this.Â
"Come back to radio; have all you could want!" Alastor went on, trying his best to win your favor once more. "I've all the fatherly affection you've earned!" He spun you around once before gently gripping your shoulders and pointing up as if he were showing you something in the sky. "Clothing, safety, souls of the hasty, this we would flaunt!"
Finally, Vox seemed to have had enough because he appeared between the two of you like a bolt of lightning, gently pushing you away from Alastor and towards the elevator. "Who's been here since he was gone?" He reminded you, "Even if you weren't my spawn? Who gave you the segment that makes them yawn?" He pointed to the crowd of sinners outside, who'd gathered by the windows to watch what was going on. Then he smiled and straightened his bowtie.Â
"It's your very own producer!"Â He sang.
"That's true..." You admitted as he pressed the button for the elevator now, already using his demon powers to call the security staff to the lobby to handle Alastor. Any other day, Vox would have done so himself, but having you right there made the situation much more difficult.Â
"I support you, day to day!" The tech demon went on, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, "Your books, show; whatever you can name!" The elevator doors opened, and Vox pushed you inside before you could even think of protesting. Once Alastor was out of sight again, he brought up a photo of the bookstore you'd planned to visit.
"Remember I'm taking you shopping today?"Â He asked just as a video chat with the bookstore's owner appeared.
"Buy our books?" She asked in the same singing-tone everyone seemed to have adopted now, "Thank you sir!"Â
The elevator doors dinged now as you reached the third floor, where Vox's security team was stationed. However, the second they opened, all that could be seen was Alastor, along with an empty office and some black tentacles still disappearing from wherever they'd came.Â
"I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond," Vox went on as he hurriedly pressed the 'close door' button in the elevator. They began to do so, only for another of Alastor's black tentacles to stop them just in time, ripping the doors open. "You're like the child that I wish that I had!" If Vox could sweat, he surely would have been doing so by now as Alastor's eyes narrowed again. This was the closest you'd ever seen him to not smiling.Â
"Excuse me?"Â The Radio Demon spoke, his pupils already taking the shape of dials. Finally, Vox stood straighter, turning back to you and patting your head.Â
"I care for you just like a child spawned!" He sang, knowing it was getting under Alastor's skin. "It's a little funny," he glanced back, a smirk on his features. Your father was seething. "You could almost call me 'dad'!" The second those words left Vox's mouth, Alastor moved to attack him, only for you both to disappear in crackles of electricity.Â
The tech demon almost never transported others with him this way, which meant he was taking Alastor's presence in the V's tower seriously. You appeared on your shared floor, which also happened to have a panic room. It had been designed for waiting out exterminations but, considering the situation, Vox figured it would work just fine to keep you from your father now.Â
He began pulling you towards it, only for Alastor to appear out of the shadows in front of him.Â
"They say when you're looking for assistance," Vox sang, trying to move around him, only to be blocked by a black tentacle, "It's smart to pick the path of least resistance!" He was getting very tired of playing nice with the Radio Demon, especially when the tentacle previously blocking him grabbed onto his arm and pulled him away from you. Â
"Others say that in your needy hour," Alastor said, beginning to pull you away from the tech demon, "The one that first raised you is simply never sour!" He spun you around to emphasize the proclamation, then stopped and placed both hands on your shoulders. "Who just happens to have known you in life!" He added a little more intensely.
A second later, though, you were pulled out of your father's grip by Vox, who began rushing you towards the panic room. "Sadly, there are times a child's needs are met with strife!" He exclaimed, pushing you through the door as gently but quickly as possible, "They say the family you choose is better."Â
"Pathetic excuses!"Â Alastor chimed in, grabbing onto your arm just as gently-but-urgently as he attempted to pull you back.Â
"Can you butt out of my song?"Â Vox snapped, pulling harder on your arm. You were halfway through the door now, awkwardly standing there and not knowing what else to do.
"Your song?" Alastor replied with a scoff, "I started it!"
"I'm singing it; I'll finish it!"Â Vox shouted back, pulling back on your other arm. The pressure was starting to hurt you now but you couldn't seem to get a word in about it as they fought one another. At this rate, you'd be torn in half before they could come to a custody agreement.Â
"You're always such a piece of-"Â Before Alastor could finish his sentence, you finally cut in, pulling your arms out of both their grasps.
"That's it!" You screamed, finally catching their attention despite the entire song having been about you. "I can't do this right now!" You backed away form them both, feeling more than a little hurt and confused. Vox went to speak up but you weren't having it; raising a hand to stop him as you turned and stomped off to your room. "I need time!" And with that, you slammed the door behind you.Â
CHPT. SUM. : The winter holidays start with a stiff Yule soiree but you're determined to give the boys a far more memorable holiday than that.
LENGTH : 12k
TAGS : domestic fluff ; holiday/festive vibes ; meeting the potter family ; orion being a stickler for 'traditions' ; Kreacher is part of the family ; holiday surprises for the boys! ; reader is the best mother for sirius and regulus!
â PREV. 9 : REPUTATION
23rd December 1971 | 12 Grimmauld PlaceÂ
The crackling fire in your home office does little to warm the icy tension filling the space between you and Orion, whose face is a chilling mask of stoic disapproval. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest as he glares at you with a thinly veiled mix of hatred and scepticism before moving his stare to the offending letter you clutch in one hand, the one you intend to send to the Lestranges.Â
Orion had wondered about your evening activities and wandered into your study late in the evening. At your desk, he found you urgently writing as if you were against a ticking deadline. He could tell that you knew he was in your space but felt it safe to step further in when you didnât verbally protest his presence. What were you writing and who you were sending so many letters to so late in the evening? As he stepped up to your desk, he glimpsed the familiar names and addresses on the back of the envelopes and gave an approving hum.
âYou donât need to worry about accepting their invitations; I have already sent them letters welcoming their requests for our familyâs attendance at Yule celebrations this holiday.â Orion looked on in wonder when you continued writing, steadily piling up the letters in batches for your owl to deliver. His steel-grey eyes narrowed when you silently tied the batch of letters together and magicked the window open for your owl to swiftly deliver its hefty package. With a click of his tongue, a clear expression of distrust from your dismissal, Orion slams his hand on the table to leer at you, âI said thereâs no need. Didnât you hear me?â
âI heard you, Orion.â your unfazed demeanour irks him more than heâd care to admit.Â
âThen why are you continuing to write?â He looks down to read the contents of the letter you were currently writing to the Lestranges, focusing intently on trying to read your cursive upside down.Â
ââŠsadly we would need to decline your invitation to dinner on theâŠâ
ââWHAT ABSURDITY IS THIS?!â Orion attempts to snag the letter from your grasp but youâre faster and hurry to seal away the letter of rejection in an envelope, swiftly addressing it on the back. He shouts your name, calling for your attention, for an answer, and you silently huff at his volume; heâll end up disturbing the boys at this rate. With this man-child in the house, how can you possibly anticipate any peace to occur?Â
Now you are having a stand-off in the middle of your home office, husband and wife scowling at each other with equal distaste, both stubborn about their stance. âThis isnât absurd, Orion! Why would our choiceââ
âItâs your selfish choice!â
âYes, youâre right; it is a selfish choice, but itâs with good intentions! We have a right to reject their invitations in favour of celebrating with our own family.â Orion visibly bristles at your reasoning, like a raptorial cat spotting its prey and immediately preparing to pounce.Â
âABSURD AND SELFISH! WHAT REASON DO WE HAVE TO REJECT THEIR INVITATIONS?!â
The parchment feels heavy in your hands, carrying the weight of your defiance, but you stand strong by it. ââŠOrion,â you begin after taking a slow breath, voice steady but pleading â you need to be the calm one or else this argument will spiral dangerously. And you donât want either of the boys to hear upstairs; evenings like this should be spent winding down for bed. âI want this Yule to be just us. No dinners, no soirees, no endless gatherings. Just our family. For the boys.â Orion doesnât show any sign of understanding, but you press forward. You find that every interaction has become a latent test, putting your husband on trial to assess his fitfulness as a father. However, every exchange has been marked by increasingly lamentable results, such that you feel stupid for believing he may have some redeeming qualities as a father. âRegulus will be leaving to attend Hogwarts next year, and then itâll just be⊠us. Let us have this one Yule to focus on each other and be together as a family, please. Itâs a precious time we must commemorate appropriately.â
Orionâs jaw tightens, his dark eyes narrowing. âIt is our duty to maintain appearances. We cannot simply abandon tradition because youâve decided to indulge in some sentimental whim!âÂ
Your temper isnât usually quick to rise, but you feel it spike exponentially within you from his bitter words. This was worth taking offence over. How dare he demean the precious time you intend to spend with your loved ones â namely only Sirius and Regulus. He has no pride as a father or a husband. With another slow breath, you try to tame your racing heart.
âThe only tradition we must abide by is attendance at the Yule soiree with the slew of other wizarding families,â you counter, your voice rising slightly despite your attempt to hold down your tongue. âEvery other dinner, every other eventâtheyâre not necessities, Orion. Theyâre only frivolous distractions. And I wonât have my boys grow up thinking that their worth is measured by how many pureblood gatherings they attend.â
âSirius is already a poor example of an heir. The first in centuries to be sorted into Gryffindorââ
âOrion, please!â
ââhe must spend time with the right sort!â
âHe is with the right sort! He has friends who care about him in Gryffindor.â
âThatâs not worth anything!âÂ
âOh! Get over yourself, Orion!â your voice gets louder and louder, swept up by the intense emotions making the air in the room vibrate tensely. âThose dinners and gatherings arenât a necessity! Sirius will grow up to be a fine man without them! Trust in yourself as his father!â you try to play with his compassion as a parent but itâs no use.
âIt is a necessity because I say it is!â Orion snaps, his voice booming through the room. âNo further arguments, wife. This is final.â
You bristle at his curt command, your temper flaring once more, mirroring Orionâs climbing wrath. âThatâs not how the world works, Orion. How childish! The boys and I will be spending Yule together. If youâre so desperate to attend every last gathering, you may do so by your lonesome!â You step to the open window and call for another owl to take and deliver the Lestrangeâs letter.
Orionâs face darkens, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. He doesnât dare lash out as he can sense that his magic is already making the walls and furniture shake around the room â he also gathers that you would have added to the telekinetic quaking as well. This house was a precious property, a standing legacy of their ancient and most noble house. No argument was worth its potential collapse. âDonât be ridiculous!â
âI am not the ridiculous one!â You shoot back, your voice as sharp and piercing as your eyes. Once again, Orion cannot recognise you, the occurrence of which has been more often as of recently that heâs lost count long before. Where had his wife disappeared to? This wasnât the woman he married⊠âIt is you who is being ridiculous! Why canât you see that this is important? For them, for us as a family?â
Orion takes a step closer, his expression softening slightly but not from concern. Looking into his eyes, you see the judgement and suspicion and desperately move to bite down your tongue. The Black family patriarchâs tone is firm, strong and demanding. âWhy have you changed so drastically, wife? This is unlike youâŠâ Never had the two of you been so disparate in mind and intentions, it was unusual to have such a quarrel; usually, Orion can trust in his wife and lady to manage the house elf and their sons while he focuses on their reputation and his job. However, now, it was difficult to trust you with managing anything in the Black family home without his supervision; your ambitions have changed far too drastically, and even the house elf has changedâ the filthy thing. There wasnât a clear answer to this dilemma either, not one that he could attempt to foresee and the mental instability that thought brings was beyond frustrating. Â
You swallow hard and carefully consider the weight of his words pressing down on your chest. It was suffocating being put on the spot like this; your mind is racing, but youâre desperate not to appear flustered beyond convention. ââŠI simply want to be a good mother to my children, both of which will soon leave the nest together. I want to treasure as much of the little time we have left with each other.â your confession comes out quietly, your voice trembling with sincere emotions from the thought. As much as you wanted to be a mother in your past life, experiences like this are ineluctable to all parents; you just didnât believe it could affect you to such a profound degree. You suppose itâs one of those things in life that you canât expect to be familiar with until youâve undergone it firsthand. Â
âYou are a good mother,â Orion replies, his tone almost dismissive as if the matter can be settled with his singular comment of reassurance.
The words sting more than you care to admit, however. You know what his perception is of how a home should be run, and you know of his closed perspective on what it means to be a âgood motherââobedient, dutiful, upholding the family name at all costs, even if itâs at the detriment of a long-term relationship with your children. The kind of mother who raises sons to be carbon copies of their father, even if that father has more shameful qualities than good. But that is not the kind of mother you want to be, not for your darling boys, not ever. Overcoming that sadness and the thoughts of what Sirius and Regulus had to endure before you took over Walburga, you quickly fill up with rage and disgust. Itâs repulsive how misinformed and disparaging his views are towards parenting âhe should be ashamed of himself. Â
âI have not been a good mother,â you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. This might be a good time to provide a fair reason to explain the sudden and drastic changes in your behaviour and views. Orion will have no choice but to accept something so profoundly simple that it becomes a hard pill to swallow. âAnd I can admit that. But Iâm doing my best to change, for my boys. Please, Orion. I know you can be a good father to the children too. Itâs what they deserve.â
Orion lets out a humourless and brief laugh â a mockery of your new ideations. His anger flares once again, his patience worn thin after youâve blatantly offended his attitude and parenting. âNo. What they deserve is a strict education and upbringing. Itâs all done to honour our familyâs name. We are the most ancient and noble house, house Black! Where is your pride?â he leers down at you, unconvinced and judgemental.
âWhere is your shame?â you counter far too quickly to stop yourself.Â
ââŠyou will have to go alone with them, then,â he says coldly, turning away from you. âI will uphold our name without your sorry, audacious existence to humiliate me.â
Your spine straightens as your resolve hardens; you donât care much for his offending words rather, you are relieved. At least he didnât demand the boys accompany him anyway, instead of you. âFine then,â you say firmly, clearly unaffected by his words, which makes him want to lash out in anger once again. However, you were already turning on your heel and striding out of the room before he could attempt another heated exchange, your sharp footfalls echoing against the floor. As you reach the hallway, closing the door behind you, you pause and glance up at the bannister above, managing to catch two blurred figures ducking out of sight.Â
âCome out, you two,â you call softly, not wanting to appear confrontational or irate and smile to help colour your words warmly. âI know youâve been listening.â
After a moment of silence, thereâs a shuffling of feet as Sirius and Regulus slowly come into view, peering down at you from their perch in the upper hallway. They share the same sheepish expression. You sigh and move to meet them upstairs, gesturing that they go ahead of you, âInto Siriusâ room, we need to talk.â
The boys follow your words obediently, their heads bowed as they hurry through the door with Siriusâ name hanging at the front. Once inside your eldestâs room, you close the door gently and turn to face them where theyâve settled atop Siriusâ bed. They can see the frustration and fatigue on your face and they wonder if it would have been better if they didnât know the reason behind it. Nevertheless, they come to one conclusion and it's that they donât like seeing you in such a state. Their kind, gentle and loving mother doesnât deserve to be distressed â and it makes them feel all the more guilty when they realise that you were having to deal with them as soon as you finished arguing exhaustively with their father. They wouldnât blame you if you, instead, had ignored them altogether in favour of resolving your frustrations. Nevertheless, it meant the world to them that they were such a high priority for you that you didnât give it a second thought before joining them upstairs to talk.
âIâm sorry you had to hear that, boys,â your voice is filled with regret, an achy feeling that they mirror in their own silvery-grey eyes. âItâs not a good example to set, arguing like that with your father. Iâm sorry.â The two share a somewhat astonished look â they fully believed you would reprimand them after being caught listening to your quarrel. âEavesdropping is not proper behaviour, either.â There it isâŠ
âSorry motherâŠâ They guiltily apologise in unison, looking down from the shame weighing down their stomachs as you slowly approach.
âItâs alright, just donât do it again, okay?â you raise both your pinkies so that they can seal the promise by curling their pinkies around yours â you were so happy to have shared this little âmuggleâ tradition with them; it was a good enforcer of good manners and promises. Satisfied with the pledge, you take a seat at the foot of Siriusâ bed, your legs hanging off the edge as you partially turn towards them.Â
Regulus looks up at you, his wide grey eyes filled with concern. He remembers hearing the way you reasoned with his father on why you were rejecting invitations and it left him holding onto a peculiar mixture of guilt and joy that you were willing to turn away other families just to have a memorable Yule holiday with him and Sirius before they leave for Hogwarts together.Â
âBut thereâs no need to be sorry, Mother⊠itâs not your fault.â
Sirius, the bolder one of the two and acting on the emotions he felt safe enough to express, crosses his arms and scowls. His opinion of the situation has been made up already. âYeah, Dadâs being an idiot.â
You raise a questioning brow but canât help the small smile that tugs at your lips â you didnât know your son could look so cute being a grump. But, you attest that to his bias on taking your side over his fatherâs, loyally and stubbornly taking your side on things definitively. âYour father is not an idiot, Sirius,â you reach out to gently pet down his curls, slightly pushing the stray strands away from his forehead. Almost instantly, Sirius uncrosses his arms and leans into your touch, his grumpy expression melting away, âOrion is just⊠a stubborn old fool.â The last part slips out in a whisper, and Sirius and Regulus exchange a glance before breaking into quiet snickers. Clearly, they agree with your sentiment, but you have to hold yourself back from joining their giggling.
âYou donât need to defend him, Mother,â Sirius says, his voice tinged with frustration as he and Regulus shuffle closer to you. âMen are fockinâ pricks!â
Your eyes widen in shock. âSirius! Where did you hear such language?â
Your eldest has the decency to look sheepish but doesnât back down and answers honestly. âFrom some Muggle-borns at school,â his chin jutting out defiantly, and your eyes frantically move between him and Regulus over and over. You donât like the intrigued expression on your youngestâs face, your concern for his language development growing with the blatant curiosity and fascination in his appearance.
Just as you see the familiar question of: âWhat does it mean?â appear clearly on your sweet youngestâs face, you hurry to denounce Siriusâ speech, âDonât repeat what Sirius just said Regulus.â
âIâm sorry, Mother, I wonât,â while Regulus apologetically looks up at you, Sirius looks at his brother with a sneaky smile tugging at the corners of his lips. And it was at that moment that you knew Sirius couldnât be stopped from explaining the curses to his little brother. With a sigh, you shake your head, already accepting Siriusâ silent plans to go against your distaste for the swears. The least you could do is set a boundary so they know not to speak like that around you â you trust that they would use the words sparingly.Â
âI donât want that kind of language in this house. Please refrain from making such exclamations again. And no more eavesdropping, either. Itâs bad manners.â The boys nod, their expressions downcast and apologetic, but they instantly light up when you lean down to kiss their foreheads, a reminder that you still love them despite their mistakes. You no longer have to word the sentiment but canât help refraining from speaking through your actions. They needed the reassurance, though, and they appreciated your proactive, loving gestures. âI want you to grow up to be gentlemen⊠unlike your father.â The last part is whispered once again, but Sirius and Regulus hear it anyway, and, again, exchange another round of stifled snickers.
Sirius leans forward, his curiosity getting the better of him. âWhat were you and Father arguing about, Mother? And why are we all in my room?â He and Regulus managed to hear bits and pieces above their racing heartbeat drumming against their ears, but he needs you to confirm things. He didn't want to get his hopes up on the aspect of no longer attending those stiff and boring Yule dinners with other prestigious families. He didnât want to get his hopes up on finally being able to celebrate the holiday the same way his friends had fondly and excitedly described.
With a fond smile, you brush a hand through Sirius's hair before doing the same to Regulus. Thereâs a warm affection in your eyes thatâs hypnotising and makes them lean in to hear you even closer as you straighten your back from where youâre seated at the edge of the bed. âYou two need to pack some luggage, enough for a week or so away.â thereâs a lightness and purpose in your tone, a premature excitement.
Sirius deflates, his shoulders sagging as his face falls into an adorable pout. âBut I just finished unpackingâŠâ
You canât help but giggle at his dramatics, adoring the sight of Regulus reaching over to pat his brother on the back comfortingly. âBut youâll want to pack for where Iâm taking you two,â your eyes twinkle with mischief. âWeâre leaving right from the Yule soiree tomorrow.â
That gets their attention immediately. Both boys perk up with interest and elation swimming in their wide eyes. âWhere are we going?â Regulus asks, his voice filled with wonder. Both boys were standing on Siriusâ bed now and you can easily predict that they would soon be jumping about if you revealed anything more.
âYouâll find out tomorrow~â you sing playfully, standing from the bed to move to the door as you have to pack your own luggage. With half-hearted whines of protest, the brothers clamber off the bed and rush to your side, clinging to the long skirt of your dress in an attempt to pull more hints from you. âWeâll be getting there via the Floo Network, so Iâll keep your shrunken luggage with me at the soiree tomorrow. Your father wonât be joining us, Iâm afraid, so make sure to say your goodbyes before we leave in the afternoon.â You wave your wand, summoning two identical lists that float gently into their hands. âHereâs a list of everything youâll need to bring.â
âOkay, Mother,â they chorus, their voices filled with anticipation.
As a farewell, you lean down to kiss their temples, your heart swelling with love for them and their adorable antics. Youâve been blessed with the sweetest boys on earth! âGood. Have fun packing, you two.â As you leave the room, Sirius and Regulusâ vocalised animation for whatâs ahead fades into the background. You hear that theyâve decided to help each other pack, starting with Siriusâ things â they believe that they might be able to piece together what you have planned for them through the list, which makes you giggle. Would they be able to deduce such a thing? This was a big surprise, after all.Â
A spark of hope lights up within your chest, warming you up from the inside out. This Yule will be different, youâll make sure of it. Itâll be different for them, for you, for all of you. There isnât a trace of guilt or regret in your veins as you go through the list of events you have planned. You will create and share precious memories together â this will be a holiday to remember! Â
24th December, 1971 | Yule Soiree, VIP RoomÂ
The soiree is a glittering affair, an event dripping with such opulence that the induced propriety was suffocating, even to those accustomed to the affluence, but they did not show it. Crystal chandeliers hung like frozen waterfalls, suspended in the air high above, alight with enchanted candles that never shortened, shining brighter than the muggle sort and emitting enthralling prisms of light. Expensive perfumes smothered the air in their thickness and polite conversation weaved through the palpable tension between some families. For the room to be considered the dignitary sort, set aside for the Sacred Twenty-Eight families, it wasnât very remarkable aside from its adornment, credited to those in the staff who helped decorate. There was a designated area for quiet murmurings and another area for sharp laughter and even sharper smiles accompanying frivolous chatter.Â
You manage to navigate the room with practised ease, your posture regal and expression composed, but your heart aches for a simpler affair, one filled with warmth â if not for you, then for your boys. Pity throbbed within the depths of your chest as you looked upon their grim features, they didnât look like your sons; your boys were spritely and smiling, carefree and talkative but these two were not like that at all. Rather, they were stiff, their small shoulders straight with tension and their lips sealed shut, offering tight-lipped smiles to those who greeted you before eventually greeting them. Earlier on, you had asked Alphard if he would be attending the soiree too but was downhearted to find that he had some last-minute business at the office to deal with and that he wouldnât be able to make it. The original Walburga grumbled in your head over her younger brotherâs undistinguished behaviour, wanting to reprimand him for his lack of commitment to tradition but you quickly stamp out her unreasonable complaints by harassing her right back and threatening to whisk Sirius and Regulus away prematurely. That shut her right up.
From a distance, you spot three sisters comfortably chatting near the grand fireplace, their heads bent together to hear one another clearly amongst the chatter muffling the air. All three share the same black locks and pale complexion but adorn different demeanours and manner of dress for the holidays. âAre those your cousins, dears?â you ask in a whisper, leaning down slightly so you can be better heard by both children.Â
âYep,â Sirius confirms as Regulus nods from beside him.Â
âAlright.â you take a moment to ponder on what to do next, âDo you both mind if I take a moment to speak with them? Iâll try to be quick,â the brothers share a brief look before nodding in unison. âThank you, my loves. Try to occupy yourselves in the meantime okay?â As you approach the three sisters, Sirius and Regulus make their way to the food and beverages, not wanting to stand by their father even in your absence.Â
Once youâre close enough, the girls spot you in their periphery and turn as a group to greet you appropriately. Their expressions were a mix of curiosity and wariness as they wondered what the matriarch of House Black would want with them and without the patriarch beside her. It was odd to see you and Orion separately and even more odd was to see you without Sirius and Regulus at your sides; it was a known fact that you, as the matriarch kept an invisible leash on all three, maintaining the puppeteer of all behind the scenes. Â
âLady Black, good afternoon.â A sister greets you, her black hair fashioned into tight curls as her eyes hold a depth to them like that of a black hole. She is slightly taller than the other two and stands in the centre, subconsciously marking her as the eldest. You hazard a guess that this was Bellatrix, âYou look different today,â Â
With a smile that doesnât quite reach your eyes, you reply, catching all three off guard as youâre not usually the type to smile. âAs do you, Bellatrix⊠â She doesnât protest, so your deduction to her identity was correct. All of you have grown so much since I last saw you properly. Youâre all so lovely for the Yule soiree today.â
Andromedaâs eyes soften while Narcissa remains impassive though you can see a flicker of some emotion in her eyes. Was she secretly flattered by your compliment? Bellatrix, however, narrows her eyes in scrutiny and confusion all at once. âRumours say youâve been acting strangely.â She leaves the air open for you to either confirm or deny her claim. The three had been able to see the affectionate way you acted towards Sirius and Regulus in the time you stepped into the celebration together, and itâs clear that they arenât the only ones shocked by your drastic change in behaviour.Â
âIs that so bad?â you watch carefully and patiently as Bellatrix mulls over your comment for a while. No one has outright dubbed your mannerisms unsuitable, and as the matriarch of the noble and most ancient house of Black, surely you have every right to act the way you deem most appropriate. Bellatrix canât fault you for that so she concedes, she admires you, after all, so if you are acting this way, itâs for good reason.Â
âI suppose notâŠâ your smile finally reaches your eyes and the three sisters welcome your stunning visage. Rumours from your drop-off and eventual collection of Sirius at Kingâs Cross station have made its rounds and many praised your radiant smile. Now, not only are you the prestigious lady matriarch of House Black but youâre one who radiates beauty with a simple smile. They secretly consider themselves lucky to have experienced your beauty in person, they truly didnât know what to believe, at first with the rumours, but they quite like them thus far.Â
Now that Bellatrixâs suspicions have been dealt with, you focus instead on the warmth you want to convey. Something you had intended to commit from your detrimental notations for future events. âIf any of you ever need anythingâanything at allâIâll be there for you. Within reason, of course. All you have to do is ask or send a letter. Weâre family, after all.â The three sistersâ eyes widen in unison, even demure and poised Narcissa. Andromnedaâs breath hitches and thereâs a wildness that swamps her eyes momentarily.Â
ââŠEven for arranged marriages?âŠâ Andromeda, the one who looks the most similar to Bellatrix comments, her dark curls are looser and her eyes are shaped less fiercely. With a snarl, Bellatrix nudges her twin sharply with an elbow whilst Narcissa gives an almost saddened look.Â
âAndy!â Bellatrix hisses in a warning tone.
You freeze up, trying to comprehend her words as quickly as you can â if you pause for longer than normal, theyâll only grow suspicious of you; you should already know their world after all so nothing should surprise you to this extent. After a moment, your heart sinks in realisation and a sad softness floods your gaze.
âYour marriage is already arranged?â Your voice is barely above a whisper.
Bellatrix straightens and lifts her chin, stepping forward to partially shield her sisters. âYes. And so is mine. I am set to marry Rodolphus Lestrange after I graduate. Andromeda will follow soon after, as sheâs the younger twin. I will have an Autumn wedding and she will have a Spring wedding.â Bellatrix turns to smirk at Andromeda, though you donât think itâs out of malice; her words didnât ring maliciously to you, only factually as if sheâs already accepted her and her sisterâs fate. Andromeda turns her gaze to the floor and hugs herself for comfort whilst Narcissa steps closer, wanting to offer comfort in her own way.
âDo you want to marry Rodolphus, Bella?â you ask gently. Bellatrix blinks, her eyes wide with confusion as sheâs momentarily thrown by the use of her nickname â only her sisters call her intimately yet you say it so naturally. Did you mean to call her by such an affectionate nickname or was it just a slip of the tongue?Â
âItâs whatâs expected of me,â she says in a dismissive tone, finally overcoming her slight surprise. âItâs our duty to carry on the purity of our blood.â
You accept the eldest sisterâs answer with a slow nod before turning to the middle sister. âAnd you, Andy?â the child is just as shocked by your use of her nickname but, with some hesitation, eventually looks up at your soft and welcoming gaze. âDo you know who youâll be marrying? Do you want to marry him?â
Andromeda shakes her head with a troubled expression. Even before this, it was clear from her body language alone that she was unwilling to accept her circumstances. âNoâŠâ
Bellatrix huffs at her sisterâs side and pins her with a sharp glare before hissing out. âThatâs because youâre being too picky, Andy. Do you know how upset Mother and Father are getting with you?â
âI knowâŠâ Andromeda sighs but doesnât look as guilty as she should, in Bellatrixâs opinion, making her huff once more while Narcissa moves to stand between them as a silent mediator. âMother and Father have been⊠difficult to talk to about these matters. One of the suitors they had picked out for me was over ten years my senior.â You suppress a shudder as your stomach churns at the dreadful thought. How could a parent submit their young daughter to such a fate?Â
ââŠMy offer stands,â leaning forward, you meet each of their eyes individually, emphasising your words. And, although your voice is stern, your gaze is warm and comforting, and you hope they can see the sincerity in it. âIf you need anything, Iâll be there to help you as best as I can. All you need to do is ask.â The three sisters nod in unison but Andromedaâs eyes linger on you, unable to let go of the implication in your words. For once, she feels hopeful as she remembers her beloved Ted. You can see the wheels turning in her mind, and you wonder if sheâs thinking of someone in particular â you have to hold back a smile when you realise sheâs probably thinking of Edward Tonks.Â
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The VIP room feels much colder now, and the air weighs heavily with unspoken words over your unusual behaviour. There have also been hushed whispers floating aboutâwhispers of the Dark Lord and alliances forming in the shadows over the misinformed need to rebel against the acceptance of muggle witches and wizards entering their secret society of magicâmaking your stomach churn. The divide between the blood purists and the rest of the wizarding world was growing and growing; it had grown so much that it was palpable even in what was supposed to be a festive gathering. But you do your best to ignore the whispers and the stone of dread in your stomach, instead choosing to focus on finding Sirius and Regulus again. Glancing around, you spot them near the edge of the room leaning into each other. It appears as though they were looking for someone too, their expressions a mix of frustration and worry. You gather that they are looking for you and quickly make your way over to them, where you have the pleasure of seeing their adorable reactions as soon as they spot you in the crowd, your heart softening at the sight of your boysâ adorable faces brightening at your appearance.Â
âMother, there you are,â Sirius steps up to greet you once you're close enough, Regulus following closely at his side so that they can embrace you for a brief moment.Â
âIâm happy to see you boys again, did I take too long?â Regulus shakes his head and presses his face into the folds of your long, emerald green dress. His actions make your brows furrow with concern and you meet Siriusâ gaze questioningly but your eldest seems to have the same downhearted expression on his face too. âWhatâs the matter, my loves?âÂ
âWeâve been looking for Uncle Alphard,â Sirius runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, his eyes darting about the room as he tries to find his favourite uncle once more, âWe didnât want to miss him because you said weâd be going away soon. But we canât find him anywhere.âÂ
With a sigh, your expression softens with understanding, and your hand comes up to comfortingly pet Regulusâ hair, his face still buried in your skirt. He had been so excited to see the reunion between his uncle and Sirius; he desperately wanted his brother to know that there were more people, other than him and their mother, supporting him despite his sorting into Gryffindor. âIâm afraid your uncle had to work late at the office. He sends his apologies.â That doesnât seem to help ease the boysâ sadness, so you allow them a slight peek into their holiday surprise, âHe promises that heâll see you both soon, though.âÂ
âButâ didnât he say heâd be here?âŠâ Regulus pouts up at you, finally lifting his face off of your skirt.Â
âI know, darling,â you place a gentle hand on his shoulder. âBut duty calls, even during the holidays. Now, how about we leave this dreary room and head downstairs? The music is livelier, and the atmosphere is much warmer.âÂ
Sirius perked up at the suggestion, his grin returning as he nudged Regulus beside him encouragingly. âFinally, something fun. Come on, Reggie, letâs go.â the two walked ahead of you, though it was clear that Sirius wanted to run and pull Regulus along behind him, his nerves very obviously vibrating with excitement âyou were glad for his restraint, however, and smiled in adoration at the brothersâ very sweet, very ordinary appearance from behind.Â
The grand staircase led you down to the lower floor that buzzed with life. Laughter, chatter, and the festive tunes of a wizarding band filled the air, colouring the expansive room with much brighter colours than that of the upper floor you were earlier confined to. Wizarding families of different backgrounds mingled impartially and freely, their joys, infectious, and their movements, unburdened by the weight of blood purity or social standing. The live band at one end of the ballroom plays a lively tune whilst couples dance with abandon at the centre, people were free to join in or step out of the dance whenever they wanted. It was a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the VIP room above, where the so-called elite sat in rigid clusters, their conversations hushed and their expressions guarded â this was what a true Yule celebration should feel like. Even with Walburga shouting like a possessed banshee in the back of your head, you have no regrets and plan on whiffing the smelling salts in your pocket as soon as possible. You werenât about to faint on your boys and bring any amount of distress onto them so youâve come prepared.Â
The energy of the lower floor greeted the three of you like a warm embrace as you stepped down the final few steps. From your elevated perch on the steps moments ago, Sirius had quickly spotted a familiar figure across the room: another boy who was similar to him in age, sporting messy black hair, round glasses and an infectious, unmistakable grin.
âJames!â Sirius calls with an enthusiastic wave. He calls his friendâs name several times before his voice manages to carry over the crowds and the music, prompting the messy-haired lad to finally turn and meet his close friendâs eyes, âOver here!â
As soon as James saw Sirius across the hall, his face lit up with a charming grin. He lifts a hand to wave your small family over to where he proudly stands with his parents. Sirius didnât hesitate to push ahead as shy Regulus clutched onto your hand, staying back with you, despite meeting James briefly at Kingâs Cross, it appears as though he canât quite get over his shyness yet. As Sirius neared the Potters, your heart warmed and raced; Fleamont and Euphemia were the perfect picture of benevolence, adding to their grace as they smiled, sincerely welcoming Sirius in return.
âSirius, I didnât know you were here!â James exclaimed, clapping his friend on the back once he was close enough. Sirius grinned widely in return and squeezed James with equal affection around the shoulders, âMum, Dad, this is Sirius, my friend from Hogwarts. Iâve told you about him!â
Fleamont extended a hand to shake as his eyes twinkled under the chandeliers. âPleasure to meet you, son. Fleamont, or Monty, whichever you prefer.â
Sirius shook his hand with a look of mischief in his eyes. âNice to meet you, Monty, my man!â Your sonâs cheekiness couldnât be ignored, and Fleamont threw his head back with a laugh, welcoming him as Jamesâ friend with open arms.Â
Equally charmed, Euphemia stepped forward to give her greeting with a radiant smile. âIâm Euphemia, but you can call me Mia. Our Jamie has told us so much about you; itâs good to finally put a name to the face.â Rather than a handshake like her husband, she crouches down and pulls Sirius into a brief but warm hug. You can see the brief surprise and delight on Siriusâ face before he melts into her embrace with a warm grin. Sirius likens the feeling to the same one he feels whenever you hug him affectionatelyâof course, his motherâs hugs will forever be the best but he happily accepts the small comfort he finds in Jamesâ mother too.
âSo, how are your holidays so far?â James asked, his enthusiasm undimmed.
âGreat!â Sirius replied with a similar enthusiasm, the image in his head only consisting of you and Regulus âMother and Reg are here with me. Fatherâs up in the VIP room with the snobs.â
âYour mother, you say?â Euphemiaâs eyes widened in surprise, and she exchanged a glance with her husband. Both turn just in time to see you approach them with Regulus at your side, their surprise still evident on their faces. You could see the wheels turning in their mindsâthe woman before them was not the cold, distant matriarch they had imagined. This can only mean that they didnât hallucinate your friendly figure when they had gone to pick up James at Kings Cross Station.Â
âYeah! Iâll introduce you.â Siriusâ chest puffs out slightly as he gestures to you first, then Regulus, âEveryone, meet my mother and my little brother, Regulus.â
âHello,â Regulus reaches out to shake the Potter coupleâs hands before waving at James, who brings him into a friendly, one-armed hug over the shoulder. Sirius snickers beside them for a moment and quickly joins in the hug too, he loves seeing his brother get along with his close friend; he can only imagine how well Regulus would get along with Remus or Peter!
With a warm smile, you extend a hand in greeting. âGood afternoon. A pleasure to meet you both,â you shake Fleamontâs hand first before shaking Euphemiaâs. You then turn to James, your smile ever soft and kind. âAnd itâs so good to see you again, James.â
James grinned. âYou too, my lady.â he bows at the waist as you giggle and Sirius rolls his eyes, tempted to smack his friend over the head, âItâs good to see you in something other than black.â
âJames!â Euphemia scolds with a wave of her finger.
Rather than the scowl of offence they were expecting you to wear, however, you laugh lightly and briefly play with the skirt of your dress. âWhy, thank you. I suppose you could say the holiday season has gotten to me.âÂ
Euphemia stares in shock at you, so surprised by your change in demeanour that she couldnât hold her tongue and agrees, âIndeedâŠâ Embarrassed, Euphemia covers her mouth as Fleamont laughs heartily, pulling his wife close by her waist â a small gesture of comfort.
âThereâs a special type of magic that goes around for the holidays,â The Potter patriarch says with a warm, understanding voice.Â
Your small group falls into easy conversation after the tension was thoroughly melted away by introductions. Thereâs talk of the boysâ achievements at school, Regulusâ eagerness to join his older brother in the next academic year, the struggles of parenting such rambunctious youths followed by whining protests, and many more. Eventually, James drags your boys off to the food tables, promising them the best mini treacle tarts theyâd ever tasted, and he should know, as a primary lover of the sweet treat. Regulus hesitated at first, glancing back at you for reassurance and relaxed when you gave him a small nod.
âBring me back something tasty, darling,â you politely ask with an encouraging smile.
âSomething salty or something sweet, Mother?â his voice is soft and dripping with consideration, ever the attentive type.
âHmm⊠why donât you pick?â Regulus nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips before dashing off to catch up with his brother and James. With the boys gone, you turned to the Potter couple with a question on your tongue. âFleamont, Euphemiaââ
ââMonty is fine,â Fleamont interrupted kindly.
âAnd just Mia is perfect for me too,â Euphemia added kindly. They were now able to tell for themselves that you werenât the type of person they originally thought you were and it was a comfort; they found that any friend of their beloved son, they easily see as one of their own so it was a comfort to know that Sirius had you as his mother.Â
Surprised by their willingness to be familiar with you, you take a moment to process what theyâve said before nodding, your cheeks heating up slightly from the prolonged pause you had taken. âOf course, thank you Monty, MiaâŠâ The coupleâs smiles brighten at your use of their nicknames, âSo, for the holidays, I planned a surprise for my boys: a little getaway from our city home. I was wondering if we could organise some sort of playdate, where James could come over along with Siriusâs other friends for a day or two â the two of you are perfectly free to attend as well.â
Fleamontâs eyes light up in an instant. âThat sounds good to me. Iâm sure James would appreciate spending time with friends outside of school.â As Fleamont laughs cheerily his wife nods in agreement, their eyes sparkling with equal excitement.
âIt would be nice to get out of the house too. Is it okay for us to spend the day with you as well?â
âOf course! Honestly, it would be preferred.â Youâre quick to reassure her but pull a rather sheepish look, âI donât think Iâm ready to monitor five rambunctious teens by myself.â
âWonât Orion be with you?â Fleamont asks curiously.Â
âIâm afraid he has other important matters to attend to.â The Potters exchanged a concerned glance but said nothing and followed your lead on ignoring the subject altogether. Their smiles quickly returned as they agreed to your invitation.Â
âWeâd be happy to attend!â Euphemia perks up, âDo you already have a date in mind?â
âI was thinking a weekend but not Yule, that is a day for families; so the weekend after that. On the first or second of January would be ideal.
âDone.â Fleamont shares a smile with his wife.Â
âWe should be careful that the boys donât try to convince us to have a sleepover,â Euphemia laughs as you and her husband join in.Â
âI wouldnât be surprised if they do. From the letters James sent home, theyâre a rather troublesome bunch.â Prompted by her husband, Euphemia combs her fingers through his messy locks as she straightens her back, appearing to look for something through Fleamontâs locks.Â
âStill no grey hairs, darling, youâre not to worry.â
âSo cheeky,â Fleamont rolls his eyes at his wife, who just giggles and cuddles into his side. Their exchange is adorable and sweet, and pulls a fond smile onto your lips.
âItâs settled then; Iâll be sending you an owl closer to the time as a sort of formal invitation. You can easily use the floo network to get there, Iâll provide instructions in the letter I send you. Oh and please try to keep the date a secret, I want the whole thing to remain a surprise for the boys.â
Nodding enthusiastically, Euphemia agrees as Fleamont smiles lovingly at his wifeâs obvious excitement.Â
âOf course! I canât wait for the day!
âIâll make sure to be a good host,â
When the boys finally return, Regulus proudly presents you with a sweet treat, while Sirius hands you something savoury. You sample both equally, your expression brightening with delight at their delicious choices for you. âThank you, my darlings. Both were very tasty!â after wiping your lips with a small handkerchief, you kiss each of them on the forehead to which they beamed up at you with radiant smiles.
Watching the exchange, Jamesâ expression becomes almost shy as he looks up at his mother, who gives him a questioning look. âWhy are you looking at me like that, Jamie?âŠâÂ
âNothinâ.â
âItâs because I wasnât given something yummy that you donât get to have a kiss~â She giggles as James blushes, dashing off for a quick moment before coming back with a treacle tart for his mother. Finally, Mia kneels down and gives him a kiss in thanks, giggling as her husband chuckles behind his hand.Â
âI told you you should have got it the first time, you plonker,â Sirius teased, and James groaned, his cheeks flushing.
âShut up, Sirius,âÂ
As the afternoon grew a little older, you were dragged onto the central floor by Sirius and Regulus, who planned on sharing a dance with you together. All three of you joined hands and improvised a three-person waltz as best as you could to the festive music. The entire time, your cheeks hurting from how hard you were smiling â to think that your boys could get any more precious. You questioned why they were both dancing with you at once rather than separately, and their answer was said in such an obvious tone that it made you think that they didnât argue for long on the topic, deeming the compromise as the perfect solution.Â
âWe couldnât decide who got to dance with you first. So weâre dancing the first dance with you, together!â Theyâre too sweet!Â
Several dances later, you were finally gathering the boys to say their goodbyes. First were to the Potter family, who wished you all well for the holidays, and you, them. Then, you ascended back to the VIP room, where Orion remained engrossed in conversation with the other purist families. While you voiced your goodbye to your husband, the boys gave curt goodbyes to all of their cousins except Andromeda, who received the warmest goodbye â she was very obviously their favourite for her kind and understanding nature. When it came to saying goodbye to their father, however, the boys hesitated. You had already moved on to bidding farewell to other patriarchs, matriarchs and cousins, so you werenât there to see their attempts to bid their father goodbye. Each time, they were met with a dismissive wave, pushing them away more and more.
âCome on Reggie,â Sirius huffs under his breath, glaring at his father from under the stray whips of curls that had fallen over his eyes, âMother is waiting for us.â Sirius leads the way to where you stand by the VIP roomâs exit.
âButâ! We didnât say goodbye to fatherââÂ
âWhy does it matter? He doesnât care anyway!âÂ
When they finally reach you, their sadness dissipates from the sight of your radiant smile. âDid you say goodbye to your father?â
The two nod with guarded expressions thinly veiled by a smile before you move to urge them to the exit, âThen letâs be off.â
Together, you collected your coats and stepped into the fireplace. With a small countdown, you all simultaneously threw down the powder as you called out the clear destination. âAstrolite Hall!â Green flames engulf your small trio in an instant, and, moments later, you emerge to find yourselves standing in the grand sitting area of a breathtaking countryside estate nestled in the Yorkshire Dales. The boys gasp, their eyes wide with wonder as they take in the establishment around them. They werenât very familiar with the other Black family estates outside of their city home and the few dotted around France so this was a pleasant surprise, a new adventure. At this new thrill, their earlier displeasure with their father is easily forgotten. Taking in their precious expressions, your heart swells with love.
The manor was breathtakingâa sprawling countryside estate that seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the tall, arched windows, casting golden beams across the polished antique furniture. Through the windows, you could glimpse the gorgeous greenery outside, symmetrical, well-kept and lush despite the winter season, there was even a fountain at the centre. The air smelled unfamiliar but pleasant with a touch of tuberose and amber, a welcome change from the cramped atmosphere of Grimmauld Place, though you do miss the touches of dried lavender you and Regulus littered about the house.
âWelcome, my darlings,â you softly announce, leading them inside.
Sirius was the first to break the silence, his voice ringing with awe as his eyes took in the manor. âBlimey, Mother, this place is massive!â
âYeah!â Regulus rolls on the balls of his feet beside his brother with equal enthusiasm. Both were as charged with energy as the other, feeding off one anotherâs excitement and vigour as their wide eyes took in the grandeur of the parlour. The high ceilings were adorned with intricate carvings, and a crystal chandelier hung above them, one that looked even more extravagant than the ones they saw at the soiree. Their incontestable joys were infectious but you did your best to temper your own excitement as much as possible, settling for a calm smile so that there was a balance of emotions in the positively charged atmosphere.
âThis place is called Astrolite Hall, and I donât think weâve been here before,â you inform them helpfully shrugging off your heavy coat to hang on the back of an antique grandfather chair. âBut itâs going to be our home for the holidays. What do you think?â
âItâs brilliant!â Sirius exclaimed, eager to dart off and explore. Regulus was more for a moment, glancing up at you briefly, before looking to his brother with a smile â you donât know if he wanted to silently apologise for his uncharacteristic zest or seek brief assurance from your body language. You can tell that they were keen to scout out the new space, they were like racehorses eagerly awaiting the horn and the opening of the gates to launch them into competition.Â
âWhy donât you two pick out your bedrooms upstairs? Once youâve decided, Iâll un-shrink your luggage, we can unpack and then you can explore to your heartâs content.âÂ
Loving the idea, Sirius and Regulus zip up the grand staircase, their footfalls muffled by the thick carpet as you follow close behind, gigging into your palm as you lift the skirt of your dress to better traverse the stairs. By the time you got to the upper floor, they had already chosen their rooms, indicated by the doors they had left open for you to peek into. You werenât surprised that they chose rooms that were right beside each other, but it still made you smile at the close bond that they have with each other; they deserve to have a close sibling relationship, and it warmed your heart to see itâs open display.Â
âIs this the room you want?â you ask, pulling Siriusâ luggage out of your pockets. From where he lay sprawled over the large, king-sized bed, Sirius launched himself into a sitting position and nodded with much enthusiasm, his curls bouncing up and down with the movement.Â
âMy room is the next one over, Mother,â Regulus announces, grinning widely at you as he sits up with his brother. It looked as though they were making snow angels from the bedsheets, their excitement making them forget their usual manners. But you were happy to see them having fun so you donât fuss about it the same way Walburga was shrieking up a storm in the back of your mind. Once you had deducted whoâs room was whoâs, you approached and un-shrunk their luggage with a wave of your wand â you love magic so much; it made things so convenient for you. Â
âWhich room will you pick?â Sirius asked as he jumped down to begin unpacking.Â
âI think that one will do,â you announce, standing in the doorway and pointing at the room directly across from theirs, this made the boys grin in delight as they secretly cheered that Orion wasnât there to ruin the mood. So as to not waste any more time, Regulus hurries to his room so that he can unpack as well.Â
âOnce you unpack, you can explore the estate as much as you like but try to make it downstairs in the sitting room by 5 pm, please; I have a special task I need you two to help me with.â
âWhat sort of task?â Sirius asks with curiosity as Regulus appears in his doorway with an equally curious look. The two watch as you elegantly walk to your room to unpack your bags too.Â
âA fun task,â you replied, looking over your shoulder so they could see the giddy twinkle in your eyes.
Regulusâ pulls the sweetest most hopeful expression you could think of. âReally?â
âYes! And weâre going to do it together while Kreacher cooks dinner in the kitchen.â
âKreacherâs here?â Regulus lights up even more, like a Christmas tree.
âOf course,â you smile as your youngest vibrates with excitement, and Sirius laughs at his little brotherâs obvious joy before poking fun at him teasingly. Regulus whines, expressing that he likes Kreacher so, of course, heâs excited, but you can see the fondness that remains in their eyes â theyâre true siblings.
âBut it feels a little stiff in these formal clothes,â you add, easily magicking your luggageâs contents into the appropriate storage compartments about your room, âWhy donât we change into our pyjamas for the rest of the day?â
Regulus frowned. âBut itâs not nearly bedtime yet.â
Sirius rolls his eyes but grins brightly. âThat doesnât mean we canât be in our pyjamas! Come on, Reggie!â The two hurry to finish unpacking so they can change into their pyjamas while you change into your own as well, though it took you a little longer than anticipated.
âHave fun exploring boys, see you downstairs!â you call, finally walking out of your room and down the hall to descend the stairs in your ankle-length, white-cotton sleep dress with long sleeves. Despite the cold temperatures outside, the estate was the perfect climate, even the carpeted floors were heated as you walked about in your socks.
âSee you later!â The boys call back in unison.
When you meet with Kreacher in the kitchen, the boys were already causing a storm upstairs, though you didnât quite mind; it was nice to have a lively atmosphere about a home for once. With Orion at Grimmauld Place, the air always felt a little stiff and dull so youâre glad the boys could finally act like children without any restraints.Â
âThe young masters be being very loud today,â Kreacher comments with a small smile as the two of you prepare the ingredients for dinner together. Â
âYes, they are. Doesnât it sound lovely?â you ask but giggle when thereâs a loud shout from upstairs (Sirius), quickly followed by a sharp âshushâ (Regulus) and then shared laughter.
âVery lovely the sound be, mistress!â Kreacher shares a smile with you before you both return to the task at hand, indulging in the music of cheer your two boys create upstairs. Tonightâs menu consisted of a comforting, slow-cooked beef with potatoes, carrots, peas, garlic, and onions in a hearty beef and red wine broth. With it, you have the options of garlic bread and, or mashed potatoes.Â
âYouâll join us for dinner, wonât you, Kreacher?â it was a gentle request, one that you consistently make before every meal as you and the house elf work together to prepare something delicious. Your hope is that the holiday season will finally allow him to agree and dine with you.Â
âN-no thank you, MistressâŠâ you sigh but donât express any frustration or dismay, only acceptance as Kreacher looks up at you with a small, apologetic smile. At least he felt comfortable enough to reject your offer. âBig master Black will be wanting his dinner tonight too so Kreacher is busy.â Â
âI understand,â you make a point of meeting his glassy eyes before expressing your gratitude sincerely, âthank you for working so hard for our family, Kreacher,â
âMistress is welcome.â And at least he was comfortable accepting praise and saying âyouâre welcomeâ, now too.
Ë Â Ęđ„.âïž.đ„Ę Ë
Sirius and Regulus ran through the halls, their endless laughing echoing off the walls as they explored every nook and cranny of the large, unacquainted estate. The manor was everything you could dream of for the boys. There was a grand library with towering shelves filled with books and plush reading nooks; it was much larger than the one at Grimmauld Place. There was a games room filled with magical and Muggle board games (courtesy of you), a cosy reception area with a roaring fireplace, and a curving staircase that had a sturdy bannister to slide down. All the available bedrooms, of which there were six, had their own en suite bathrooms and balconies with equally scenic views all around. A beautiful, ergonomic study room was at the very end of the upper floorâs hall, with its own mini library, two large desks with drawers and golden emeralite bankers lamps. There was even a room full of paintings ranging from portraits to scenic views of the ocean or sloping fields. All of the paintings moved, and most of the portraits were of ancestral Black family members, who, unfortunately, had many unpleasant blood purity things to say, so Sirius and Regulus didnât stay long to admire the gallery.Â
Once the boys came downstairs, they slipped into the dining room, which was a masterpiece of elegance. It was primarily occupied by a long, polished table that could seat twenty. A sideboard took up space beneath the scenic painting hung on one side of the room, where inside its drawers were matching plates and bowls with analogous silverware. There were also antique china: teapots, cups and saucers, and a tiered dish tray for afternoon tea. Yes, the boys opened and searched every drawer and cabinet. The other side of the dining room had floor-to-ceiling glass walls that opened to a raised decking area so that there was an option for outdoor dining should the weather permit it.
Through the tall windows, the outside grounds were just as impressive. In the distance, there stood a large greenhouse that was bursting with colourful flora within. It was so large that the boys debated whether they could faintly see a spiralling staircase and mezzanine inside or not. There was also a sprawling porch area that overlooked a serene pond with many lily pads on the surface, surrounded by the well-kept gardens and itâs tall, topiary cone hedges and walls. To end their adventure, the boys returned to the sitting area they had first entered, touching every piece of furniture and clambering onto every place to sit before they admired the view outside. The greenery was identical to the one they had seen through the dining room windows, except there wasnât a large greenhouse or a pond, but there was a beautiful fountain spouting water at the very centre of it all.Â
âDid you have fun exploring?â you turn to face the boys who enter the kitchen with flushed cheeks as they softly panted. Looking about the space, they could tell that the kitchen was a chefâs dream, complete with a walk-in pantry stocked to the brim so that you may never grow hungry. The smell in the air was mouth-watering, and they could spot a stewing pot on the impressive gas stove bubbling away beneath its cover. Another pot of boiling potatoes sat beside it with a fork and a wooden spoon nearby to help check the potatoesâ tenderness. The ovens were also at work, it seemed, though they couldnât quite make out what was inside. Dinner smelled delicious already, as usual.Â
âIt was so much fun!â They said in unison as you giggled. Undoing your apron, you step up to their buzzing figures with a smile, committed to hearing all about their explorations but they have other plans. In their barely contained excitement grab one of your hands each and tug you away pleadingly, asking about the special, fun task you had promised them earlier. Of course. How could you think that their sharp minds would forget such a promise?
âLet's go do that thing you needed our help with!â
âWhat is it anyway, Mother?â
âYouâll find out soon enough, itâs in the living roomââ They begin to drag you away more earnestly but you stop them before they can pull you too far. âHold on now,â you laugh and look over your shoulder at Kreacher, who was standing on a stool by the kitchen counter, preoccupied with the brief side-task you had given him earlier, âWhy donât we grab some snacks from Kreacher, first? Donât forget your âpleaseâ and âthank youâs.â Kreacherâs ears perked up at the mention of his name and he eagerly turned to brighten at the sight of his young mastersâ fixed gazes on him, his long ears flapping in delight.Â
âCan we have a small snack, please Kreacher?â Regulus begins as he and his elder brother step up to stand on either side of the house elf.Â
âAre you preparing our snacks right now?â Sirius asks, peering over the counter to glimpse at what the house elf had been so preoccupied with.Â
âYes yes, eldest young master,â Kreacher eagerly cheered before looking a little sheepish, âKreacher will be taking just a little bit more time with thems though, young masters.â his veiny hands shyly covers the finger sandwiches he had been assembling, embarrassed from their half-made state.
With a nod of understanding, you urge the boys to the pantry, âThatâs alright Kreacher, itâll give us time to make hot chocolate,â your comment makes Sirius snap his attention towards you, eyes bright â making hot chocolate together was something James had mentioned that he and his family did every night during the Yule holidays. Would he get to partake in the same cosy ritual with his own happy family? âOh! Are you excited, Siri?â you softly coo, tenderly poking his cheek with a teasing grin as Regulus snickered at your other side.Â
âH-how are we making the hot chocolate, Mother?â Sirius diverts the topic, wanting to get the attention off him and focus on the hot chocolate. Thankfully, you follow his lead with grace.Â
âWeâre making it on the stove but we need to get the ingredients first,â working together, you gather up the ingredients and melt chocolate blocks into a pot with four mug-fuls of full-cream milk. While Sirius carefully stirs the softly bubbling, chocolatey liquid, you and Regulus whip up the cream to go on top together. Each person was allowed to assemble their own hot chocolate after you poured a portion into the four mugs (the last being for Kreacher). You made yours the way you liked before looking over to see how everyone liked theirs. Sirius had a mountain of fluffy, whipped cream on his with chocolate shavings on top. Regulus liked his hot chocolate with a reasonable amount of whipped cream and mini marshmallows. When presented with his own festive mug of hot chocolate to assemble, Kreacher didnât care for the whipped cream but went crazy over the mini marshmallows, which made all of you giggle.Â
Now that everything was complete, Kreacher snapped his fingers to quickly assemble the freshly baked cookies and finger sandwiches onto decorated tea plates atop a wooden tray, leaving room for coasters so that you had a place to put your hot chocolate mugs on. âThank you, Kreacher,â you voice kindly, taking the wooden tray into your hands from where it was suspended mid-air before Sirius and Regulus soon followed you with their gratitudes.Â
âThanks, Kreacher!â
âThank you so much, Kreacher!â
âMistress and the young masters a-are welcomeâŠâ Kreacher hides his shyness in his mug of hot chocolate, his droopy ears tinted an adorable pink at the tips.Â
âFeel free to join us in the living room, Kreacher, the more the merrier!â you call behind you, stepping out of the kitchen and making your way to the living room as Regulus and Sirius hold the doors open for you.Â
As soon as you made it to the living room, you set down the tray of snacks and hot chocolate on the coffee table before waving your wand to reveal your surprise: the hidden Christmas tree. The proud, bushy Douglas fir tree stood in the corner, tall and full but undecorated, occupying the space with its lush branches, and almost reached the high ceiling. Earlier, you had asked Kreacher to enchant the tree with a preservation charm just for the holidays so that the boys donât have to see the fir shedding its needles, with ease, Kreacher did just that with a snap of his fingers.Â
Eying the tall firâs barren appearance, Sirius is reminded of the marvellous way December began for him, where he and his close friends saw Hagrid dragging the giant Christmas tree into Hogwartsâ main hall. Once magicked upright, all the professors extravagantly decorated it, leaving behind the most beautiful tree he had ever laid eyes on. Sirius was surrounded by magic since birth but seeing the tree get decorated so beautifully was the most magical thing he had ever witnessed.
Siriusâ expression dropped into a frown, disappointed that this tree may remain the same bare and joyless tree theyâd had for every Yule growing up. If only his familyâs tree could look a fraction similar to the tree at Hogwarts. âIt looks a little dull, Mother.âÂ
âDull?â Sirius snaps his attention to Regulus, only just realising what he had said aloud. âIsnât it usually like that?â
Your heart broke at your youngestâs genuine confusion and the implication of his innocent words. It makes you want to lash out at the poor excuse of a mother sequestered in the back of your mind but your priority will always be your boys first so you steady your smile, instead, watching the two interact as you lift your wand once more behind them. Without them noticing, you manage to nudge a heavy box into view.Â
âYou should see the giant tree they put up in the main hall at Hogwarts,â Siriusâ voice is filled with awe and thereâs a thrill behind it that makes you believe heâd stop at nothing to show his little brother the grandly decorated tree he had witnessed. âItâs beautiful, Reggie.â
âAnd our tree is going to look equally beautiful with all the decorations we put on it,â you announce, grinning at their wonder-filled expressions before directing their attention to an innocuous box at the side of the tree. The boys waste no time rushing to it, their eyes widening as soon as they see the beautiful ornaments inside. There were shiny baubles of all different shapes, delicate glass figurines, and strings of golden tinsel. The common theme of colours were gold, silver, red and green.
Sirius looks up at you with a hopeful expression as Regulus brings out a string of tinsel to play with. âAre we⊠are we decorating the tree together, Mother?â
âOf course we are, my love.â
Siriusâ chest swells with warmth and launches himself at you without a second thought, hugging you around the waist as he buries his bright grin into the cotton of your night dress. This was his second wish for the holidays that had come true, first the hot chocolate, now tree decorating with the family. Regulus, though quieter and still awing over the glittering tinsil, looked equally thrilled, his hands now reaching for the beautiful ornaments.
âOur tree is going to be the most beautiful tree ever!â Sirius cheers, digging for the ornaments that he finds are the most aesthetically pleasing before rushing to hang them on the fir treeâs needles, âCome on Reggie!â Regulus hops up beside his brother and happily lays the tinsel on the green branches with a happy cheer. To set the mood properly, you approach the gramophone on a side table and begin to play a Christmas album.
As you decorate the tree together, Kreacher eventually joins you and, with him, you enchant the candles to prevent any fire hazards before fixing them onto the tree and setting them alight. There was a small ladder at hand for you and the boys to utilise so that you could reach higher up the tree, but you left the climbing to the boys, choosing to remain at the foot of the ladder, instead, to hold it steady and catch them if they ever toppled over. On occasion, you would all partake in a small snack and drink break, the boys happily gulping down their hot chocolate before it has the chance to cool down. However, in their eagerness, they were left with melted cream above their upper lips, sending everyone into a fit of giggles. Everyone managed to, at least, acquire a white moustache throughout the evening.Â
Laughter, the soft clinking of ornaments, and softly playing Christmas songs never allowed the room to grow quiet. For the first time in what felt like forever, you were together, happy and carefree, creating precious memories that would last you a lifetime.
NAVI. | SERIES M.LIST | NEXT. 11 : PLAYDATE â
A/N : this was a pretty long one, i'm so sorry my loves but i hope you enjoy the read! i'm also really sorry that it's come out so late, life has been really busy for me recently and i have a lot of things going on at once, i hope you understand.
i also want to announce that this series will be going on HIATUS as i want to take the time to thoroughly plan future chapters and plot points, i also want to focus on other writing projects i plan on releasing this year. and, i hate to admit it but DOB has grown a little exhausting to keep up with because of everything going on currently and i don't want to push updates to the point of burnout as that'll risk me abandoning the series altogether and i intend to finish it.
i hope you darlings can understand where i'm coming from, i'll try to get back to the series as soon as i can but i can't guarantee a definite date of return. i love you all so so much! thank you for supporting and loving the series so far! see you soon!
So guys I really need to talk about something that happened yesterday. Me and my father were talking about school (I messed up my grades,I don't really want to talk about it) and he got angry at me,started telling me how school is all I do and how I'm gonna fail in life and have to go work as a cleaner and clean other people's shit if I continue like this (his words). After this,I had the worst panick attack of my life (I have had panick attacks before but never,ever THIS bad). It lasted about half an hour,maybe 40 minutes. It took 10 minutes of me screaming,crying, hyperventilating,almost passing out and begging (like,I was LITERALLY BEGGING TROUGHT SOBS) for him to help me. It was horrible. I had to downright BEG my own father for 10 minutes straight while I wasn't even able to breathe and on the verge of passing out just for him to help me. Maybe he didnât believe I was having a panick attack or maybe he was angry or maybe he just didnât care,I don't know. But god that was one of the worst experiences of my entire life. And now he's acting all normal like nothing happen. Like he didn't cause me to have a panick attack and then made me beg for help for 10 minutes. 10 minutes of begging. He finished loading the dishwasher as I was on my knees begging because my legs shook too much for me to stay upright.
If there is any parent,or future parent,or anyone really that ever wants to have kids,please don't ever do something like this. Help your kids always. Even if you think they're lying for attention. Even if you're certain of it. You never know for sure,and you could cause some big damage by not helping.
And if anyone that is reading this thinks that in any situation this is accettable,to leave your kids begging for help as they panick. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BLOG AND NEVER COME BACK.
So anyways,here are some headcanons I wrote because I am feeling horrible right now. This is based on my experience alone and is not representative of what panick attacks look like,just how mine looked and felt like.
Slashers x son! Reader having a panick attack
Tw: panick attacks,the author DOES NOT know how medications works because it's never been on any so definitely medically inaccurate,neglectful and abusive parenting (Bateman's part)
Bubba Sawyer
Completely panicks. Like really panicks.
The moment he hears you sobbing in your room,he barges in. He's worried you got somehow hurt,and start checking you over for wounds,until you push him away. It takes him a second but he understands you don't want to be touched,and even thought he is a bit hurt,he takes a step back to give you a bit of space.
He has no idea what is happening to you. He never had panick attacks,and he is not very informed on it. He probably doesnât even know what they are,but he can recognize the expression on your face,it looks scarily similar to the expression his victims make when he catches them. It breaks his heart to see you like this,but he doesnât know what to do.
He basically tackles you once you reach out to him pleadingly,holding you tighlty to his chest and mumbling barely audible comforting words.
He tries to stay calm and sooth you as best as he can,even if hearing your screams and sobs breaks his heart. But after a while,he starts to feel really bad too,his own breathing picking up,mirroring yours,and his eyes fill with tears. He doesn't know what's happening to you,he doesn't know how to help you and he's so worried he's gonna lose his baby. His grip tightens as he himself starts to cry.
You two end up holding eachoter until the panick slowly stops by itself. Bubba doesn't let go for a long time even after both your breathings went back to normal.
After that,he's a lot more attentive,suffocatingly so. He's terrified something like that might happen again and he still doesn't understand what caused it. You are not leaving his side for a long time after that,and he doesn't let you do any heavy work. The only time you're left alone is if he has a victim to kill,because he doesn't want you to witness that,and even then he gets it done as fast as possible and goes right back to you.
You are also kept away from the rest of the family if you want to be. Bubba loves his family,but he knows they can be really mean at times,and he doesn't want you to go trought what he went trought. He won't stop you from seeing them,of course,but he can be of great help if you wanna avoid them.
Also his chicken is now your pet too. If you ever seem a bit off or sad,he will grab it and just plop it in your lap if you're sitting,or in your arms if you're standing. It's weirdly soothing,and the chicken is kind of affectionate too,as much as a chicken can be. He absolutely loves seeing you two toghether. The two cutest creatures in his life.
If it ever does happen that you get another panick attack,he panicks too again. It's not that he can't control his emotion,but seeing you so distressed is just too much for him. He doesn't think he could ever get used to it. You get lots and lots of pampering afterwards thought,and basically anything you ask him for. He can and will go to any lenght to help you feel better. He's just like that.
Hannibal Lecter
Now,obviously Hannibal knows what a panick attack is and how to deal with them. That is painfully obvious.
But I do think it would feel a lot different to him seeing you,his son,having a panick attack.
Up until now,he never saw panick attacks as anything more than a reaction to something. Just a breaking point,a moment of vulnerability he couls exploit if he wanted to. He never truly felt bad seeing someone else having a panick attack. But with you? That's a whole different story. Hearing your labored breathing and loud sobs from the kitchen where he was making dinner,and then finding you curled up on the bed in your room,unable to breath and crying out about how it hurt,shaking and clutching your stomach made him feel something in his chest he hadn't felt in a long,long time. An ache in his chest like someone was squeezing his heart under his ribs.
It took him a moment longer than he would've liked to come back to his senses,hearing your desperate sobs and chocked "pleaâ please" as you reached out one arm,the other wrapped tightly around yourself. He quickly made his way over,sitting next to you and letting you cling to him,hard enough that your nails dug into his back trought his shirt,not that he cared. He held you firmly,not so tight that you felt trapped but enough to ground you,gentle words leaving his mouth. "Breathe,in trought your nose,and out trought your mouth." He instructed,taking deep breath himself to guide you,his hand gently moving trought your hair in repetitive,soothing motions. Every hard breath and chocked cry that left your mouth made the knot in his chest feel tighter and his arms enveloped you further,your face gently pressed on his chest as he kept guiding your breathing,voice as sweet as honey.
Once you've calmed down,he asks what caused you to have a panick attack. Whatever it was,he does everything it takes to fix the problem. If it's something related to just you and your mental healt,he's helping you overcome it. He's an incredible psychiatrist for a reason. And if it's because of someone,well,they won't bother you anymore. He makes sure of it.
He also gets you some medication to help you in case it happens again while heâs not with you. Which won't be very likely,after that,he keeps even more of a close eye on you than before,which says a lot. You're the person he loves the most in the world,if not the only person he loves at all. Of course he's going to do anything in his power to keep you happy and protected.
He also noted anything that he did that helped or didn't help during your panick attack,and had you describe it in as much detail as you can. What you felt,if it hurt anywhere,what you think helped or made it worse,how you felt right before it... he listens and remembers all of it,so that if there ever is a next time he knows exactly what to do.
Patrick Bateman
Let's start by saying that I am a firm believer that Patrick would be so fucking unsupportive of his child if they had mental healt issue,especially if it's his son.
He thinks that men should never show vulnerability to begin with,and for his son to do that?! He just can't accept it.
He probably just puts on his music and ignores you,at least at first. After all,it's not like your cries for help and your loud sobs have any effect on him... of course not. He's just gonna leave you to deal with it,like a real man should do...
He starts breaking once you come ouut of your room,begging forr help,scared and clearly in pain. You're clutching your stomach,shaking,one arm completely limp at your side and paler than a ghost. You look both on the verge of passing out and throwing up,and your eyes are fixated on him,your breathing labored and your jaw slack. He manages to ignore you for another minute,until you fall down on the floor on your knees,still loudly pleading for help. He finally grabs you and shoves guides you onto the couch,where you start clinging to his clothes,wrinkling them and ripping some of the seams. He wants to be angry at you,to leave you there,to not care about any of this. He never had a problem seeing other people suffering. He enjoys it for the most part. But now,seeing you screaming as you hide your face on his stomach,holding onto his shirt like your life depends on it,he feels a sharp ache in his body,and lets you drag him down onto the couch and curl up against him. You're sobbing loudly right into his ear,your tears soacking his shirt and your grip nearly tearing it. He stays completely still,not comforting you but not pushing you off either,which is as nice as he gets. He even turns off his music once he sees you using your seemingly only working arm to cover your ear,the other still limp on your side. He stays completely still for as long as it takes you to naturally calm down,his mind yelling at him to get away from you and from here,his body refusing to listen.
After you're done and you let him go,he leaves without a word,and stays out all night. You don't know what he's doing,just that he left you.
When he comes back the next morning,he finds you still on the couch,asleep,hugging a pillow tightly,your cheeks still damp with tears. He leaves some medication on the table with a note that reads "don't do that ever again". You find it once you wake up,paired with some food and water he left on the cofee table for you. You eat as you read the note and the medicine's label. You heard of it from one of your father's friends,it's some pill to calm anxiety. Probably bought under the counter,it's supposed to help with panick attacks too. Weirdly thoughtful of your father,but you gladly take it. You still feel like shit from last night,your legs still trembling and your body still tingling all over.
You two don't talk about what happened,and you donât get to go to a therapist. "You're not crazy." Your father says "Just need to man up.". You think in a weird way,he's trying to reassure you.
He now carries the same pills he gave you everywhere he goes,replacing them if they expire or if he runs out. Just in case something like that happens again. He doesn't admit it even to himself,but seeing you in that state made him feel absolutely horrible,and he refuses to feel like that again.
You probably end up addicted to the pills.
He buys you more.
That man would NOT be a good father
Ok guys I'm just gonna go cry now because Patrick's part lowkey reminded me of my father's reaction too much lol.