#pining!callum

it's kind of like. s2 is what makes callum realize that he can lose literally everything else — his father, magic, his brother, his current sense of self — but he won't lose rayla, and so he re-scaffolds his life around that in the back half (2x07 onwards) and into season 3, and never has to reevaluate that until she leaves. and what happens after that is that callum has reasonably everything he could ever want (able to pursue magic, able to help his brother, comforts of living in a castle) and he's Miserable, because rayla is not there and he doesn't know if she's okay. and then she shows up, and once he's accepted how she's both changed ("i'm so glad you came back!") and not changed ("i know"), he realizes how he's both changed ("it'll never be the same") and not changed ("but not everything: i would do anything for you") and comes back to life. and all the love he had to keep at bay comes pouring and pouring out of him, drowning out every other aspect of himself, of his life, the inevitable conclusion delayed by her absence but not destroyed (could never be, arguably), because rightly or wrongly, that's how he loves. and when he talks about the life he wants, the most important thing is to be with her, because it always has been. it always was. (it was always her.)

"he wasn't going to pine forever" "he's not callum" "yeah!" / "so this is a thing again, you two?" "it always was. it was always her" / "[another girl] never stood a chance" / "my one truth, huh?" "your deepest truth" / "rayla leaving was the worst day of my life" / "the tides are true as the ocean is deep" / "unconditionally"

thinking about the skit where callum says telling rayla he loved her is the best day of his life. thinking about the other skit where callum calls the day she left in ttm the worst day of his life. yeah