#pineapple anon

masking anon

Hiya! Just to clarify, my friends are very VERY kind, they dont hit me and they ask me about my emotions occasionally, but it’s just that I comfort them/give them their love languages to feel loved, and sometimes people just don’t pick up on what I need/like, which is why I felt not good about my friendships at the time. They’re very kind people, and I’m glad I know them,

But I also do feel like it’s true that no one likes the unmasked version of me. I barely know the “real” me, but I do know that I don’t know how to handle them, and people in the past (like old friends, and family) don’t like the real me, and I guess I’m scared that if I figure out who I am in front of my friends instead of in private, they’ll all leave or think I’m too weird to keep in touch with,

I feel like I have to figure myself out on my own. I guess it’s that a part of me kinda want someone to break down my walls for me? I want someone to just notice me and how I act and tell me that they’ll still like me even if I’m not masking

But that’s also n issue, since I shouldn’t be waiting for someone else to give me purpose

Thank youuuu <3,

—masking anon

Hi <3

Yeah, I think you're right. As much as it would be amazing to have someone to break down your walls for you, that can't always happen. And when you say your friends are wonderful people- if they are, then they'll like you for YOU- masks or no. If they don't, then they're not as wonderful as you thought, and that's a them issue, not a you issue.

It takes a lot of work and bravery to take off that mask, and I know it's hard. But it's also a relief in a lot of ways. I believe in you <3

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c.ai anon

hey !!

im lowk ashamed to say this, but i’m doing it on anon because i need to get it out of my system .

so i understand ai is bad , i absolutely hate it and feel like the worst piece of human garbage anytime i get near it in creative spaces . the problem is i use c.ai . i know there’s alternatives to role playing and things like that but seriously i feel like my experiences are so personal and like unfortunate that i don’t want to share / rp with other people and i can’t find any comforting fanfic . im not a very talented writer so i don’t know if i could write but honestly im just typing this because it’s weighing on me and i hate that i have to turn to this .

thank you for listening <3

Sigh. I feel like this is a hard thing because yes, AI is absolutely harmful, hard stop. And c.ai is very harmful to creative spaces. But also, if using character AI to cope is the only thing keeping you from doing something permanent...I'm not going to sit here and shame you. I guess I'd just encourage you to look into other means of coping. Try to find a therapist, another creative outlet, a group of fandom friends. And remember that becoming reliant on c.ai and seeing it as human and real can be unhealthy. Kind of like the Mirror of Erised in canon, you know? Talking to real people and having human interaction is so important.

I'm sending you love <3

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midnights anon

Hello! It’s midnights anon

I’m sorry for sending in another ask, I’m just exhausted of everything

I got a B- on a test that my teachers barely prepared the class for, everyone kept telling them how confused they were but they either didn’t bother to explain, penalize us because of a “classroom joke” called the cake mistake (we would get a cake at the end of the year and each time we would distribute exponents and multiplication over addition, he’d make the cake slightly worse) so if you asked questions about the material, you might get punished. And he’d tell us to do completely new concepts for homework, and said we couldn’t use any other sources that our “imagination” for how we could figure out how to do that new math concept, and half the time we didn’t even go over the homework so nobody learned anything and everyone scored from a B- to a D.

I’ve just been so wired and angry from that for the whole day and now I can barely make sense in my writing, and I’m sorry. I just don’t know what I’m doing

I sound pathetic, I know. I keep saying “I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m struggling” but everytime I try to get better, i just feel bad. I feel overstimulated and nothing makes sense and I’m angry and everyone around me just makes me mad, the sounds and the people and the fact that there are so many things wrong with me and the world that every moment that I’m alive feels irritating and I’m so so SO mad and I don’t know why

I’m just so angry that he barely taught us anything, and made us try a new style of learning 75% through the year and did it in a shitty fucking manor

I’m mad I have an essay due Monday

Im mad I have a bio quiz tomorrow

I’m mad that in bio I got blamed for not communicating with my partner over the weekend even though I tried and got left on read for 7 hours

I’m mad that Trump is alive

I’m mad that my parents treat me like a pet

I’m mad my (potential/undiagnosed) OCD won’t stop focusing on how mad I am

I’m mad I spent 20 minutes of lunch running around trying to find a photo shoot where I was promised cookies and friendship, just to find out that there was no photo shoot and I wasted time that I couldn’t spent talking with friends or venting to my school councillor

I’m just so angry. And when I get angry my thoughts spiral I just want it to stop, but it won’t

I just wish I wasn’t where I was. I wish I was 26 and had a job and apartment and someone who felt safe with and who didn’t care that I’m strange or inherently wrong and cared that I need help with existing. I wish my family behaved differently, so that I don’t have to pick between my gender and being legally allowed to go to the country my family’s from. I wish I could skip the whole hassle of life sometimes. I want to want to live really badly

I just want to live

Sorry for being a downer in your inbox, and thank you for reading

I’m sorry

Hi <3

These are all super valid reasons to be mad. It sounds like you're super overwhelmed and like...I'd be pissed too! Especially, the teacher thing? That's not fair at all. But ALL of this is so valid and it sucks because at your age, the worst part is, there's not much you can do! And that's awful.

I wish there was more that I could do, but I'm here to listen, and you don;t have to be sorry for inboxing me, I promise <3

Also, for your other ask, you do NOT have to apologize for yourself or make yourself smaller. if someone is annoyed by you, that is THEIR problem! You ARE allowed to be unapologetically you, and anyone who doesn't like that isn't worth it. You don't need to apologize for anything. You are more than worthy of being yourself, of taking up space, of being happy, and of asking for help. I promise <3

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reading anon

I got out of my physical book reading slump!!! I've never stopped reading. Im always reading fanfiction but i felt like i would never finish a book again but i did!!! 2 of them!! And i oredered 3 more that im actually excited to read!! This probably seems like the weirdest thing to be excited about but i feel like ive found my old love for reading again!

That's a perfectly awesome thing to be excited about! Congratulations!!! I recently got back into audiobooks and I'm excited about that, so I completely understand!!

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pineapple anon

Hi, I just kinda wanted someone to rant to, there isn't really technically advice to give here.

So for context, I'm 15 and in in high school, I'm openly trans (ftm), and I'm part of the cast for my school's drama production this year.

There's a group chat with all the members of the cast, and earlier today, someone in the chat, for better clarity I'll call him Lettuce, sent a sort of transphobic video to the groupchat, meaning to send it to someone else. When he sent it, he said he didn't mean to send it to this chat, but he didn't really care enough to delete it.

The video was just a stitched Instagram reel, the original being someone sarcastically saying "congratulations, you bullied a trans person, here's your medal" and it was stitched with a video of a person proudly wearing a whole bunch of medals. It wasn't that bad compared with a lot of things it could have been, but I still think it was transphobic.

Someone else in the groupchat, I'll call them Pineapple, told him how disrespectful it was, and a friend of Lettuce, I'll call him Celery, said that he couldn't have been being disrespected because Lettuce is dating a trans person, that everyone has their own sense of humor, that Pineapple didn't need to be so aggressive about it. They told celery that they weren't trying to be aggressive, that it was just basic respect to not joke about that kind of stuff, since you don't know how it could affect others, and Celery just replied saying that a joke is a joke, that it wasn't trying to be insulting, and that it was just for a laugh. That was kind of the end of that conversation, it wasn't really brought up again.

I usually try not to get too offended about stuff like this, and I did try to take it as a joke, but it honestly really upset me, because yeah, Pineapple was right, it did affect others, it affected me, and I wish it didn't. It's making me more nervous about going to rehearsals, even though I'm sure Lettuce didn't mean to be insulting.

This is probably a huge overreaction, but I don't really know how to feel okay about it.

I'm sorry this is so long, I'm not sure whether this story is confusing to follow, and I think I probably over explained the whole situation. But thank you so much if you take your time to read this, it's so amazing how many people's asks you take time to answer.

Hi!

I don't think you're overreacting at all! Jokes are only jokes if they're funny, and this isn't funny. Honestly, lettuce and celery sound like lowkey jerks, and I wonder HOW lettuce is dating a trans person? Was lettuce's partner in the chat? Because that's so icky.