#pimo jw

idk if this is gonna seem corny or begging but It's a long story for what finally got me to this point, but my mother is extremely emotionally abusive and has been a bit physically too. I'm 15. My mom is a single mother. I don't fault her that much, mainly because I'm her child and I love her — it's just gotten to be too much.

This weekend, my mom took me and my sister to our uncle's house, which is an hour+ drive (and 14-hour walk) away from our home. We thought it would just be a normal visit. On the last day of the visit, she sat me down and we had a talk. For context, I have been dating this girl for about 7 months now. My mom doesn't want me to, and I've been trying to hide it from her. Because of this, I haven't been able to leave the house much unless it's with her permission. My mom is also a Jehovah's Witness, which makes things much worse. So, we have a talk and she warns me about premarital sex and all of that, normal mom stuff. Then she brings up a negative pregnancy test she got from the hospital. Then she mentions how a neighbor told her she saw me and her together. I'm getting scared at this point, "What if she takes my phone?" etc. Then she says she's going to pull me and my sister out of school, move us an hour away, and homeschool us.

I freaked out. I have severe anxiety and depression, and isolation is one of the things that makes both so much worse. I was scared and started crying. I told her not to do this, I've been doing better in school, I've been doing better mentally. The thing is, she's not even doing this because of the girl. She's doing it because she "wants to spend more time with us and be more present." I had so many things going for me. I was going to take so many AP classes. I finally had friends. She is purposefully trying to isolate me just because I'm growing up and not doing what she wants. Why now? I only have two years left. I don't understand why she would do this. It's not going to make me better, only worse. Even just from hearing the news, I've been crying for days. She doesn't care. She just says "It will make you better" and "You'll look back on this in two years." My uncle is fully on her side. I can't live like this anymore. She's refusing to even let me see my room one last time.

I flushed my meds during a breakdown the other day, so I can't pack those. I brought my laptop, phone, and both their chargers for the "trip." I have a few clothes. I'm planning to leave with just the clothes on my back and my electronics in my bag. However, the only shoes I packed were slides, so that may slow me down a bit. I have $0 to my name, as she controls all of that. No license, no bank account. She wouldn't let me get those. I'll turn 16 in July. My girlfriend is getting her license and multiple friends have offered to take me in for a few days. However, it's a 14-hour walk to get back home. I'm planning on leaving sometime in the night. I don't mind resorting to shoplifting if I have to. Maybe I should steal my mom's card? Would she be able to track me with it? What if I ditch it after buying what I need? The area where I am now is kind of in the middle of nowhere. What else should I pack? When should I leave? Should I tell my sister or just leave by myself? I'm leaning toward just leaving. Please give me advice. I don't feel safe with her or my uncle. Please.

I've decided to wait until around my birthday in July instead of leaving right away. My gf is getting her license around then (so she may be able to pick me up), the move will be done, and my documents will actually be accessible instead of stuck at the old place. I'm going to use the move as cover somehow acting nicer to my mom so she trusts me more, and using unpacking as an excuse to find my docs. I have a friend whose parents might be willing to take me in as long as I get a job and can support myself, and I'm going to have her talk to them soon so it's confirmed before I leave. I'm going through the window at night to avoid the door camera and walk far enough that my POSSIBLE ride can't be seen from the house. If not I'll just walk all the way home. I'll probably go straight to my friend's place. I'm also going to set up a Cash App on a private email so I have some way to receive money.

Dunno if anyone will find this intresting but here goes.

A few days ago my jehovas Wittness mom came to me saying she had good news so ofcourse l ask her what it was.

"Do you still have contact with G?" G is my childhood friend since 6 to around 12 years old. Haven't spoken to her since, I'm 19 now. Well aperently her last ex boyfriend was in the same situation as me, jehovas wittnen parents but not that himself and now she has Bible studies with her mom, and my mom talked with the sister G studies with and connected the dots that we knew eachother since before.

My mom looked so proud, G had told the sister she studies w that the reason she got interested in the truth was because of me, that l used to preach to her early in our childhood, untill G's mom said l would not be allowed to see G if l keeped doing that. And now that she has her own apartment she decided to pic it up again.

"This is a sign from Jehova that even the smallest of seeds becomes trees in the end"

And in the moment l didnt really know how to feel, my first initial feeling was to congratulate, then l just feelt conflicted. How ironic isn't it that l who introduced this to her left the organization.

I still remember the day l first introduced the 'truth' to her. l told her we all had a chance to revive and live in paradise after death, she begun absolutely sobbing cuz her grandmother had just passed away.

My mom asked me how l felt and if l was proud of this.

No, no absolutely no!

"Yeah.. l guess?"

And for a few days l feelt so conflicted, didn't really know if l was going to be happy for her or feel guilty. And what if l when l go to the memorial this year and see her? What will l say, if she finds out I'm not a jw will she feel discouraged? If l don't go will my parent lie and say l was simply busy? (Most likely) at the same time do l have an obligation as ex-jw to like warn her?

Today l told my friend about this and he concluded in the end that, that was her choice and l had noting to do with this, l may have been her introduction to this but in the end as an adult she made her choice. He also told me that he himself grew up with a Muslim best friend he used to pray togheter with and he himself didn't turn Muslim.

I feel better now thay he told me this, honestly this had bothered me so much these past few days.